"Yeah." I ran my hands through my hair.
"That looked intense," she said with a nervous laugh.
I jumped on the chance to warn her away. Girls like her tended not to listen until they got a good look or taste of this life for themselves. "These aren't nice men, Dawn. They can't be changed into nice men, either."
She was quiet for a moment. "Sometimes nice men turn rotten, too."
"Is this what you want, though? One of these days, Gunner or one of the others is gonna go just a little too far."
Her voice was small all of a sudden, reminding me of her youth. As if I was so old myself. "How could you do... that? You trust him not to hurt you?"
"I don't." I shrugged. "I'm fucked up, too."
“I like your tattoo,” she said, charging right past the awkward moment.
“Oh? Thanks.” It was a small version of the club’s devil skull face, placed just to the left of my lower back. The text surrounding it read “Property of the Dust Bowl Devils.” The vice president himself had tattooed it there.
She finally left my side and climbed off the bed. She handed me my clothes from where I left them on the floor. "Think Nella will make me leave?" she asked as I dressed.
"What for?"
"'Cause I made Gunner mad?"
I shook my head. "It doesn't take much to make him mad. You're fine."
"Good." She nodded decisively. "He just should have warned me is all. Now I know. I'll do better next time."
"Next time?" Finally dressed, I reached for the door. "Girly, don't say I didn't try to warn you off." Maybe she was just plain crazy. Or maybe she was just like me. Either way, I was done warning her. She was allowed to make her choice, and I was curious to see how long she'd last. Maybe she would be a lifer too, like Nella was, like I was afraid I would be. Poor choices all around.
I helped Dawn find a temporary place to stay the next day. The town’s motel did long term deals, and I set her up with a couple of weeks using her tips and a small cash forward from Nella.
Dawn had seemed genuinely taken aback. “You guys are gonna help me? Just like that?”
“Yes,” Nella said, handing the wad of cash to me. “But don’t make me tell the guys that you owe the club a debt. Make sure you work off what you owe before you decide to leave town. Understand?”
“Yeah, I get it.” She shook her head as she followed me out the door.
It was thanks to me, of course. I told Nella that I thought the girl would be sticking around for a while, that she seemed eager to be part of the inner circle. And that she pretty much had nowhere else to go, anyway.
So after all our help, I was more than a littler surprised by her tone when we got her settled in a room at the motel. “I know you have a thing for Gunner,” she said, “But I like him, too. I just think you should know.” Ah, so now that she feels secure, her true colors show. “I think I like that Theo, too,” she went on, “And Jester isn’t bad looking, either.” She sat on the edge of the motel bed and kicked off her shoes while I stood by the front door.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Take it easy, girly, it ain’t a contest. You can work your way around the whole club for all I care.”
She gave me a pitying look. “Everything’s a contest. My dad taught me that.”
“Well, I don’t know what you’re competing for. I don’t have a thing for Gunner. You’re welcome to fuck him all you like.”
Dawn shrugged. “Just wanted to let you know. That’s all.”
I shook my head. “Whatever. I’ll pick you up before I head to the bar tonight if you want. Just text me.”
“Thanks.”
I knew exactly what she was doing. I silently fumed as I walked back to my truck, leaving her behind for the day. She wanted to command the guys’ attention, to have first pick, to “run the room,” as it were. She wanted to be the baddest bitch. I’d only held the unofficial position for as long as I had because there’d been no competition in a long time. I knew the day would come that some chick would stroll it and usurp the spot from me. I simply didn’t have a big enough presence.
But she didn’t need to be such a… a bitch about it. My better sense gave way to the jealousy roiling in my stomach. Fuck her. I’m not giving it up that easily. Not to her.
◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙
The bar was quiet that night. Dawn pretended our earlier conversation never happened when I picked her up. I just flipped through the radio stations while she talked about nothing in particular. When we pulled into the parking lot, she asked, “Do you think Gunner will be there tonight?”