“Go straight to our clubhouse,” Bill called to the Eagles, “Ride all night. We’ll sort this out, Brand. We’ll find her.”
Brand nodded unhappily. “Go with them,” Bill told Anchor. “Keep an eye on Brand.”
We clumsily loaded Gunner’s bike into the back of the truck and the man himself into the passenger seat. He wrapped his wound using a hotel bedsheet while I drove, following Bill and Theo back onto the highway. The dead, we left behind. I resisted the temptation to spit on Viper’s corpse. I settled for kicking him the nuts, and bringing my heel down on his pocket with a satisfying crunch.
I couldn’t believe it was over. I didn’t know how to feel. I just felt numb.
Bill eventually found a vet that was willing to see Gunner. A friend of a friend who was happy to stitch up the occasional criminal, low life, or biker - for a price. He sent Theo and I on, giving us the same instructions - drive through the night. Meet us at the clubhouse.
Fuck that.
This drive was a much more somber one. I became weary as the adrenaline wore off. I couldn’t shake the images from my mind - Viper, dropping to the ground with a hole in his head. Theo, shielding me against the guns, ready to take a bullet in his back. Ready to die in his attempt to save me.
You didn’t do that for somebody you didn’t care about. You didn’t do that for someone you intended to leave behind.
He signaled and pulled over to the side of the highway as the sun went down. I rolled down my window as he walked back. “You’re weaving,” he said. “Want to stop to eat?”
“Want to stop to sleep,” I said. And talk.
He nodded. Bill could just wait. He didn’t need us there, anyway. He’d left us in the dark about his setup; he could figure out the resolution without us, too.
We stopped at a fast food joint before finding a clean motel. I was more exhausted than I thought - almost too tired to eat. When we finally got to our room, I flopped across one of the two beds with a sigh.
"Gonna take a shower. You good?" I waved him on, happy to just close my eyes for a few minutes.
It was dark when I woke. Theo was asleep on top of the covers on the other bed in nothing but his briefs. The light of the television washed over his muscular form. The sight made my breath catch. Shower. Cool down, clean up. Stop staring! I tip-toed into the bathroom.
I stood under the hot water and reminded myself, Viper's gone. Viper's gone. The whole day still seemed so unreal. I'm here with Theo and the threat is gone. It's just us, now.
And he's gonna want to leave.
I dressed only in a t-shirt and undies, figuring on going right to sleep. But instead I stood frozen between the two beds. We'd been sleeping together since he'd pulled me from the van - nonsexually, for the most part - but now that everything was over, now that he wouldn't need to protect me anymore, would he want to keep his distance?
"You're doing that thing again," he said. I jumped. I didn't know he was awake.
"What thing?"
"Where you stare at me so I can't sleep." He reached out a hand. "Come here." I let him draw me onto the bed next to him, stretched out close at his side but not quite touching. Unable to resist, I lightly traced the skull tattoo on his chest with a fingertip. His skin felt so smooth and warm, I had to fight the impulse to taste it.
But why? Why fight it? We're alive and together and should be grateful.
I leaned in and kissed the skull. He tensed. "Ivy..."
My cheeks burned, with embarrassment and with anger. "Let me guess. You don't want to hurt me."
"That's right." He smoothed my hair away from my neck and traced the shell of my ear with his thumb. It was like his hands acted on their own. Like he was at war with himself.
"The danger's gone," I said. "Bill's got some explaining to do, the bastard, but it's over, Theo."
He shook his head. "I'm a danger. When I say I don't want to hurt you, I mean it literally, too." He sat up and leaned back against the headboard.
Gears clicked into place in my head. I propped myself up on my elbow. "You mean the sex stuff?" He looked away. Bingo. "Like when you spanked me? Did you forget how into it I was?" He shook his head. "So what's the problem?"
"I try to contain it but it comes out." He spoke in mumbles, like he didn't want anyone to hear. "There was a girl. Long time ago. I tried to hold back, for her. But I scared her anyway. The way she looked at me..."
I wanted to push his buttons right then. That dominating part of him that I'd seen, that he was so ashamed of - I wanted it. There's got to be a way to convince him. I let my hand rest on his thigh. "I'm not afraid of you. After what you did, I could never be afraid of you." I toyed with the elastic hem of his briefs. My mouth watered at the sight of the soft bulge below. I wanted to bring it to life any way I could.