"If you say so." The bad feeling was clawing is way back in. I started to think this trip was a bad idea.
He squeezed my shoulder. "We sent them running back out there on the road. Not the other way around. So don't worry."
"They snatched me on our home turf, remember?"
He made a low growling sound deep in his chest. "Won't happen again."
Well that was definitely reassuring, at least.
When we finally found Irish's room (after I called Dawn to ask her his real name,) we found a bodyguard sitting just outside the door.
Inside, Dawn lounged in a chair next to the bed. I gasped when I saw him - unconscious, strange mesh bandages covering the side of his head, continuing down his neck and shoulder, all the way down his arm. Tubes everywhere. Machines beeping.
"Shit," I said. "Has he been awake?"
Dawn shook her head. “He woke up when he was brought in but they're keeping him under, for now." She gave me a hug. "How're you? You look a little better." The last time I saw her, I was half comatose on the side of the road.
I nodded to where Theo stood behind me, near the door. "He's been taking care of me." She smiled knowingly.
We kept the visit short. Irish's family was arriving soon and we didn't want to be in the way. Dawn herself planned to duck out once they got there. "Maybe I'll come visit you," she said. I made her promise to get some sleep first.
Walking back to the garage, I just felt numb. Irish was going to be okay, but looking at him, it was hard to believe it. And I led them into that trap.
I did feel something, though, as I watched Theo mount his bike - a familiar yearning from before, from when we'd just met. Not for sex - I felt too weak for that, still, and didn't want to wake up and face any related demons that might be lurking in my brain. I just wanted to kiss him.
I geared up to push the impulse away. Fuck it. I could have been like Irish. I could be dead. It could still happen. Helmet still in hand, I climbed on in front of him, facing him so our knees were touching. "What's wrong?" he asked. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Worried?"
"Yes." I ran my fingertips along the coarse hair on his jaw. He leaned into my touch. There was so much unsaid between us still. The last time we'd seen each other before I was kidnapped, he rejected me, pushed me away, and I hadn't forgotten. Now, with everything he was doing, was it just because he had it in his head that it was all his fault?
"Kiss me," I said. His eyes flickered towards my lips, though his brows furrowed.
"What?"
"If you're staying around me out of guilt, well, I'm not so sick anymore. You can send a bodyguard by and get back to your manhunt." I took a deep breath. "I did say I wasn't through with you, though. I still mean it."
He turned and kissed my palm. "I don't want to hurt you. I didn't want to then, and now..."
"Shh. Don't think about it. I can't. I'm taking one minute at a time. So what about right now, Theo?"
He pulled me close as his mouth descended upon mine. His touch was so gentle, I wanted to weep. He planted soft, slow kisses on my lips, cupping the back of my head and holding me in place. I gave in to the softness of his mouth, the tenderness of his touch, throwing my arms around the back of his neck and melting against him.
He tilted my head as the kiss deepened, seeking my tongue with his. My heart raced as they danced. At first with desire, but then something else, something darker that squeezed my chest clouded my mind. I didn't realize that I was gasping until Theo pulled away and held me to his chest, cradling my head like a child.
"Shh. You're okay."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Do you want to go home?"
"No." My voice cracked. "I want to kill him." I blew out a breath, then another, steadying my nerves. Then I looked back up at him. The concern was plain on his face. "I want you to kiss me again."
"Ivy..."
"Quit looking at me like I'm gonna break apart. The only way over this is through it, and I want out."
Theo shook his head. "Honey, you just might be the bravest person I know, but you have to give yourself time." I scowled. "I promise I'll kiss you again, okay? Later."
"Okay."
He nudged my leg. "Now let's get out of here."
◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙
He got the call from Bill while we were waiting at a stoplight. "You're all on your way? How many, how long?"
I only picked up Theo's side of the conversation, and it didn't sound good. "Fuck. Fuck!" Someone behind us honked. I waved, indicating that he should go around us. When he honked again, I flipped him the bird.
"Tell him you'll make a trade. Tell him to put the word out that you'll hand me over. You watch how fast that fuck shows up. Just get the word out there." He paused. "We'll figure that out when we get to it. I'll figure something out." Another pause. "She's with me." Theo squeezed my knee. Then his hand tensed. "No. You can't be serious. No, Bill." He shook his head in denial. "This is wrong and its fucked up and you know it." He slammed his fist on his handlebars. “Yes, we’ll both be there.” He held the phone in a grip so tight I thought he’d crack the screen. But he slipped it away in his pocket.