I snorted. “Thanks, I think.”
“I’d advise you to get on under me if I didn’t think Theo would wring my neck.”
“Ah,” I said, “There’s the Mort I know.”
“Well.” He passed me the remote. “Find something that ain’t about rich old ladies.”
◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙
Crassness aside, Mort’s advice did help, although not in the way he thought.
He’d been through shit. Different shit, but shit all the same, shit that drove him to drugs on his own, and he’d survived.
I could be as tough as Mort, for sure. I didn’t even want to take the stuff in the first place.
I was sitting on the bathroom floor, back against the wall opposite the toilet, when Theo returned. It was hours and hours later - after midnight - and my stomach was rebelling. It’s a good thing, I told myself, This is just all the vile shit leaving my system. They spoke too low for me to hear them; then the front door opened and closed, and someone knocked on the bathroom door.
“Hey,” Theo said, “Can I come in?”
“It’s unlocked.” He came in looking pale and shaken. “Get what you need?” I asked.
He nodded. “The guys are on their way out.” He sat next to me with a heavy sigh and leaned his head back against the wall. “Brought back your stuff out of the truck,” he said, “Purse, phone. Lockbox under the passenger seat?”
“My gun.” He smelled clean - as if he’d showered again before coming back. I looked down at his hands and could see blood beneath his nails. I rested my head on his shoulder. “What’s the plan now?”
“We wait. Bill’s gonna drag their president home kicking and screaming if he has to. They’ll be back in two day. Three, tops.”
“Think Viper will wait that long to try something?” His name twisted in my mouth. It was like tasting something slimy and disgusting. I clenched my jaw against the nausea. I had nothing left, anyway.
“You just worry about recovering.”
We were a sorry pair - me sick and lost, him wracked with guilt. I paced restlessly when he slept, trembled at his side when he was awake. When I did manage a little sleep, he held me through the nightmares.
His presence was a comfort, but his grimaces and sympathetic looks were driving me crazy. The apartment became suffocating. I had to get out.
It was a day and a half later. The morning sun shone through the windows but the room still felt dark and gray. My stomach had settled - I had to believe the worst had passed. Truth was, the worst was what was in my head. Maybe it would never leave me. But at least I could eat again.
"I want to go see Irish in the hospital," I said when he exited the bedroom. I had woken up hours before. Sleep came a little easier but the things I saw when I closed my eyes woke me right back up.
He ran a hand through his messy dark hair. He hadn't shaved in a few days and looked every bit the scary, intimidating biker. I must be feeling better if I'm noticing how he looks. I felt the old, embarrassing blush creep into my cheeks as my eyes lingered where they shouldn't. "It isn't safe yet, especially with the Devils so spread out right now." He dug the coffee out of my cupboard.
"I don't care. I have to get out of here for a couple hours. The walls are closing in. I feel like a damn mental patient."
He considered it. He had to be feeling as stir crazy as I was. Neither of us were the type to just sit around and relax even on a good day.
"I want you armed," he said. I nodded. "Do you know how to shoot?"
"I know how to use my gun," I said. Aiming well, not panicking, not dropping the thing after firing it, those were separate issues.
"Okay." I couldn't believe he was going along, but I didn't question it. He'd brought my little safe inside, so I unlocked it and pulled the gun out.
It was a gift from my father. I thought of him as I turned it over in my hands. How different would my life be if he were alive still? I pushed that thought away.
"Ready?" Theo asked. He was wearing his cut, and his imposing figure filled the front doorway.
I tucked the gun into the back of my jeans. "Ready."
Riding with him was better than therapy. With the sun on my back and the wind in my hair, I finally felt like part of the world again. It felt... normal. Pressed against Theo's back as the world blew by, the gnawing panic in my stomach subsided for a while.
He parked in the parking garage and hooked our helmets to the bars. "No one followed us," he said. "Someone could be watching around here, though."
"What do we do if they are?"
"Well, we're out in public." We walked towards the elevators, eyes darting around. All we saw were a pair of nurses getting into a car. "I don't think they'll try anything where anyone can see."