He sat up. "What is it?"
I didn't answer. I didn't want him to know. Who can help? This was a biker club. I’d never sought then out before but drugs should be easy to find.
Jester. He was high every time I was with him. "Think everyone's back yet? Bill wanted to talk."
He shrugged and rubbed his eyes. He must have dozed off for a while himself. "I can find out."
Wait, what the fuck am I thinking? "Yes. No. I don't know." I rubbed my arms.
"Talk to me." He drew me close and kissed my forehead.
I blew out a breath. He's going to figure it out fast if he hasn't already. "I need a hit," I whispered.
He cursed under his breath.
I forced myself to meet his eyes. "Don't let me."
"It gets ugly," he said. "No matter what you do, which way you go... You sure you want to go cold turkey?"
"Yes." I made myself say it though doubts invaded my mind. What would it matter if I gave in? What difference would it make? Could I ever hope to move on from what happened? The drug will get its claws in deeper, but at least I won’t have to feel like this.
"That look on your face," he said, "Whatever you're thinking, stop it.What would Dawn think? When Bill suggested halting our attempts to contact you, she threatened to sell herself into that club. She was ready to join you there, to work together to get back out.
And Irish. When we found one of the men that did the kidnapping, Irish shot and killed him. He killed a man out of despair for you."
He paused and took a breath. "This was my fault. I brought this down on you. I'll do whatever you want, Ivy. I'll get you whatever you need. Just... try to fight. Okay? I know that look." He shook his head. "Don't give in to that."
His speech shocked me and touched me deeply. Irish... he has to be okay. My resolve hardened. "I want to go cold turkey. You'll help me?"
"Anything."
"Then I can't stay here. I want to go home."
◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙◙
Bill caught us passing through the bar. I found the clothes that Nella brought for me and quickly changed while he spoke quietly with Theo. Part of me was hoping to put Bill off. The other part wanted to get our chat over with.
Some of the club was present, scowling into mugs of beer, exhaustion evident on their faces. Bars, his bandage already dirty. Gunner, both eyes black and blue, a broken nose bandaged. He raised his glass when he caught my eye. Mort and Anchor occupied stools as well.
"Calling an informal meeting," Bill told them, "And breaking tradition. Ivy will be joining us at the table."
"Can't we just talk out here?" I was never allowed in there. No one who didn't wear the colors was allowed. The thought made me vaguely uncomfortable.
"Nope." Bill walked into the back, leaving us no choice but to follow.
I took a seat next to Theo at the big dark wooden table. I'd had peeks at it, but never up close like this. The club colors were carved deep in the center - the horned devil’s skull, surrounded by a dust cloud with death’s scythe in the background. I traced the bit closest to me lightly. How old is this? It exuded club history. How many men had surrounded it through the years? I felt lucky to be there.
Theo squeezed my knee as the door closed and the men sat down.
"All right, Ivy. We need to know everything you can tell us about Viper."
The sound of his name made bile rise in my throat. "First," I said, "Have you heard anything about Irish? And where's Jester?"
Bill was trying to be as kind as he was capable , but I could read the impatience on his face. Still, he answered my questions. "Both alive. Both hospitalized. Jester got himself shot. They operated. Moron will probably have a limp the rest of his idiot life." The name-calling only told me that he was worried for his son. "As for Irish, he's out of danger but they don't know how much mobility he'll have in that arm yet." I covered my mouth. Poor fucking Irish. "They're going to live," he said, his voice a touch softer. "The rest can be dealt with." He sat back and waited for me to begin.
I told them everything I could remember. It was hard to keep the information I’d gathered in my head, but I’d tried. I told them how I’d deliberately tried to get close to Viper though I left out the gory details.
Mostly I focused on how he was creating a rift in the club; how some of the Eagles were with him, and some thought he was just plain psychotic. The Eagle’s president was away - Bill slammed a fist on the table at that fact, but indicated that I should continue.
“So, I didn’t gather whether or not the Eagle’s themselves are involved in the girl snatching that’s been going on, but, well, there’s definitely a lot of shady trading. And Viper’s scared. He’s obsessed with killing Theo but he knows he needs to run.”