Devil You Know(Lost Boys Book 1)(69)

He stood with his hands pushed into the front pockets of his jeans and he looked as vulnerable as I had ever seen him. An ache started in my chest because to look at him he seemed invincible and yet under that was the boy with the sad eyes who had irrevocably changed me. “This is amazing, but I still like your old place best.”

Understanding moved over his face as the sweetest smile touched his lips. “Yeah, that place was pretty great.”

I wanted to kiss him, and I knew he had read my mind when his sweet smile turned wicked. He abruptly changed the subject. “The bedroom and bath are back there.”

“I would like to take a shower if that’s okay.”

He growled then muttered, “I’m a fucking saint.”

I wanted to giggle. Mom was right; he was adorable especially when he was sexually repressed. He started across the room, taking my hand as he passed. “I’ll grab you some clothes.”

The memory drifted into my mind, the day in the rain after we had made love for the first time. He had gotten me wet and naked and after he gave me a pair of boxers and a t-shirt to wear while we waited for my clothes to dry. I kept them, stole them was more accurate, shoved them in my backpack when he wasn’t looking. I sometimes slept in them when I wanted to feel closer to him.

He didn’t walk with me to the bathroom, the man had his limit and I suspected we had passed his. He headed for the kitchen and I was just closing the door when he said, “You are safe here.”

I glanced up to see he had stopped, his head twisted and I had his complete focus.

“I never questioned that.”

I closed the door then pressed my forehead to it and tried to calm my wildly beating heart before I stripped and climbed under the spray. The showerhead was one of those rainwater ones and Damian’s soap, the subtle scent of it on my skin had my senses on overload. Once I changed into his clothes, clothes I wasn’t giving back, I rolled up my dress and left it on his hamper. He was in the kitchen on the phone when I joined him. He held the phone out to me.

“It’s Cam.”

“Oh God, Cam, you’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. They weren’t trying to hurt me, just scare me.”

“Well, they scared me.”

“They only pissed me off and made me more determined because I’m getting close. Stay near to Damian.”

Since that was where I wanted to be, near Damian, that was an easy request to agree to. “I will.”

“You sound tired.”

“I am, and in shock. I know you guys deal with this kind of thing all the time, but for me it is just a little hard to process.”

“I’m fine. Get some sleep. Love you, Thea.”

My heart twisted because he was more rattled than he was admitting to speak those words. Cam loved me, I never doubted that, but he rarely spoke the words. “I love you too.”

I handed the phone back to Damian.

“Do you want something to drink?”

“Water would be great.” My stomach growled. I forgot I hadn’t eaten yet.

“Have you had dinner?”

“No, my dinner meeting turned into a hunting session for Kit. Then you called.”

“How about eggs and bacon?”

It was just eggs and bacon and yet my chest grew tight because eggs and bacon was our thing, the one meal he made and often. Part of the reason I loved bacon now was the memory it stirred of him…us. I missed his eggs and bacon. I missed him.

“I want to say I waited. That I didn’t let another man touch me, but that would be a lie. There was one other. He was kind and good. I tried to love him. I really did, but your ghost was always in the room.”

He didn’t make an audible sound, but it felt as if his inhale sucked the air from the room. He lowered his head and pressed his hands to the counter like the very act of breathing brought him pain.

“I’m telling you this because I didn’t mail those letters and I didn’t call. I even avoided you, but I never stopped thinking about you. I never stopped loving you.”

I needed to retreat, needed to pull myself together and wrangle those emotions back into the box. “I’m really not that hungry anymore. Thank you for tonight.”

He hadn’t moved, standing alone in his kitchen with the weight of my ghosts on his shoulders too.



I didn’t know what woke me a few hours later. The apartment was very still and I assumed Damian was sleeping. The living room was lit enough for me to see that the sofa was empty. There was a second door near the one we had entered. It didn’t lead to the back of the building but to the gym. Silently I descended and noticed a cleaning crew had been through after the fights from earlier. It was quiet but for the man working the punching bag. Damian wore running pants and a black tank and as beautiful a sight as he was, that wasn’t what held my attention. He looked as he had when we were younger; his punches directed not at the bag but something that haunted him. Seeing him in the empty gym, a single light illuminating just him…he looked so alone. Tears burned my eyes and I so wanted to wrap him in my arms and hold him. I didn’t though. I watched him for a few minutes hoping whatever he battled he succeeded in holding it at bay then I turned to head back upstairs.