“Yes. It’s hard work, grueling, but it’s exactly what I needed.”
“I’m happy to hear that.”
“And you?”
“I love school, love the friends I’ve made.”
“But?”
I never held back with him, I wasn’t going to start now. “But when I close my eyes, when I dream, it’s about you. That hasn’t changed. I don’t think it ever will.”
There was so much emotion in his soft reply. “I dream of you too.”
“You do?”
“Every night.”
I let his confession fill me up for a minute before I asked, “Are you still at Fort Benning?”
“Yeah…” A strange look moved over his face before he added, “I’m heading overseas.”
My whole body went numb. “Where?”
“Afghanistan.”
The blood drained from my face and I couldn’t stop my body from shaking in fear of what he would find when he got there. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about him in the thick of fighting. I had deluded myself with images of him training, not fighting.
“When do you leave?”
“Two days.”
Two days. He was leaving in two days to head to a country ravaged by war, a place where he might never come back.
Tears filled my eyes looking at him knowing it could be the last time I ever did. “You asked me to let you go and I’ve been trying, but I’m not ready for that. Oh God, I’m not ready for that.”
We moved into each other at the same time for a kiss that was more than a kiss. Love and fear for him had tears welling in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. He broke the kiss, but his expression when his big hands cradled my face and his thumbs brushed the tears away was one I would remember always. He curled his spine and kissed me again, deeper, his tongue exploring and tasting…remembering.
My hands shook as I reached for the snap on his jeans.
“Thea.” My name sounded more like a growl.
“I need you.”
“I don’t have a condom.”
“I don’t care.”
The sound he made was felt in every nerve in my body. His hand moved under my skirt, his fingers curling around the silk of panties before he lowered himself down my body. He kissed the inside of my thigh before he stood, lifted me and pressed me against the wall.
“Are you sure?”
“Please.”
It wasn’t hard or fast when he joined us; it was deliberate and so beautiful feeling him skin to skin. My legs curled around his waist and my fingers dug into his shoulders. We didn’t kiss. It was so much more intimate to watch him as he watched me. He moved slowly at first, each shift of his hips causing immeasurable pleasure. In and out, the friction between my legs, his cock hitting my clit with each stroke started the tingles, the raising of the hair at the nape of my neck, the chills that caused my nipples to harden and my body to spasm. I slid my hands down his back to his ass as his thrusts increased, turning harder and faster. I ground into him as we climbed toward that edge. When I came, his hand covered my mouth to silence my scream and when he came he closed his eyes and lowered his head to my shoulder. For several long minutes after, we stayed wrapped around the other.
I felt the chain around his neck and pulled his dog tags free. My heart ached as I brushed my finger over them. I lifted my gaze to his. “Please be safe. The only thing worse than a life without you, is a world without you in it.”
A tear rolled down Damian’s cheek and that lone tear decimated me. I wiped it from his cheek and brought the finger to my lips. “Remember me like this. Just like this and know I’m remembering you.”
He kissed me, the most poignant kiss of my life.
He left not long after, my heart going with him. That night I prayed for the first time since I was a little girl. I believed when you wanted something badly enough you had to be willing to give up something you loved to see it happen, so I vowed that night that I would give up the dream of a life with Damian and in return all I asked was that he be kept safe.
Bullet gave the silent warning, we’d all come to learn his body language. The number of times that German shepherd saved our asses was more than I could count. He was a hell of a soldier. Matthew, his handler, called him back and we hunkered down until the threat was gone. I’d made it into the Green Berets; my team spent six months out of the year in Afghanistan doing special reconnaissance. We spent a lot of time behind enemy lines. Our missions were clear, we were to stay undetected and avoid combat as we gathered intel. I had always been quiet, but I’d learned to be really fucking quiet. We were on our way back to base camp now after an op and that was always the part that scared the shit out of me…being so close to safety. Anything could happen and had. Bullet kept us out of sight, warned us when enemies were approaching. We’d wait them out even when most of us wanted to engage…orders were orders.