Deviant

Prologue

The George Pub, London, England, 2006


“I’ve got a good one for you!” Mary’s squealing voice prompted our attention. “What is your darkest sexual fantasy? And I mean darkest. Don’t hold back. Betsy, let’s start with you.”

Everyone turned their attention to Betsy, to the right of Mary. She looked embarrassed. It certainly was an embarrassing question. Although it would be interesting to see if anyone would be honest with their answers.

“Um, I guess I’ve always wanted to be tied up.”

Betsy blushed and Justin shouted, “Fuck, this is going to be interesting tonight!” Everyone giggled.

When it was Justin’s turn, he looked at Betsy with a raised brow. “I would say I’ve always wanted to tie someone up.” Everyone chuckled.

“What about you, Ben?” Mary asked.

Scratching his head, Ben looked extremely uncomfortable. “I guess I’ve always fantasised about a girl forcing herself on me.”

“You are fucking kidding me, right?” Justin screeched. “You’d need to pay someone to force their arse on you.” Justin shook his head in dismay. “As if a woman could ever force themselves on anyone.”

“It does happen,” I protested. All eyes turned toward me.

“Nah, can’t believe that.” Justin’s tone was belligerent.

“You’re telling me a man can’t be raped?”

“It’s a physical impossibility.” Justin was laughing at how preposterous he thought this all was.

“If you don’t believe me, look it up. I’m sure you’ll find some cases.”

“Okay, clever clogs, how come you know so much about it?” Justin looked at me with an amused smile. Enjoying the banter, everyone listened attentively.

“I did an article in one of my classes about rape, and how it not only pertains to women. I’m telling you, it happens.” Taking a sip of my drink, I stared Justin down.

“Okay, tell me. What’s your darkest sexual fantasy, Tyler?” Mary said, trying to get them back on track.

I bit my lip, unprepared for the question to come to me so quickly. I didn’t know whether I wanted to share my darkest fantasy. I had never told anyone before.

I had twenty pair of eyes now on me, waiting for my answer. Do I tell them? Or do I try and make something up?

Fuck it, why shouldn’t I? It’s not as though it will ever happen in my lifetime. My fantasy is just too unreal to ever happen.

“I’ve always wanted to have sex with a stranger.” I bit my lip again, wondering what the others may think of me.

My best friend, Ian, frowned. “You mean meet someone in a club, or wherever, and have a one-night stand?”

I shook my head. “No. I mean someone I have never met. A faceless man who comes to me in the dead of night.”

Justin shrieked with laughter. “Shit, Tyler! Are you saying you want to be raped?”

I threw him a dirty look. “Of course not, Justin. Don’t be crude. I mean a sexy stranger who I know nothing about. Someone I have no clue as to who he is.”

Betsy’s eyes widened. “Oh, my god, Tyler. That really is dark. But I must admit—sexy!”

I smiled. “Just like I thought.”

Justin, not wanting to give up, states, “So you want a faceless man to come to you in the dead of night and have sex with you? With your permission, of course.”

I nodded. “I believe that’s what I said.”

Justin chuckled. “What’s your address again?”

The room erupted in laughter. Glaring at Justin, I realised this was going to be a long night.



Chapter 1

Tyler



Buckinghamshire, 1991



I started back at school today. I hated school. The only person who made school fun was my friend Ian, but because he was nearly two years older than me, I only ever got to see him at play times. I was standing by my normal spot at the bike shed. That’s where Ian and I always knew where to find each other, no matter what.

“Tyler, there you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

Ian had his school uniform on, but he always managed to wear it untidily. Every time I saw him, he made me giggle. His hair was lighter now that the summer was over. Even my hair looked white compared to my normal light blonde. Ian and I had spent most of the summer playing in our hometown of Buckinghamshire, but we spent some of that time at my parents’ home in Tuscany. We owned a villa in the rolling hills there, surrounded by lots of sunflowers. I loved sunflowers. My daddy always picked one for me every time we went. I was six-and-a-half now, and my daddy said I got bigger every time he saw me. Considering he got to see me every day, I found it hard to believe.

As Ian came closer, I noticed there was a boy right behind him. I wasn’t sure what happened to me, but the minute I saw him, my stomach started feeling funny. He looked really nice with black spiky hair and light blue eyes. He had his school tie on, but it was loose and kind of scruffy-looking. He was dressed just like Ian, but this boy made it look better somehow. When he saw me, he smiled and my cheeks started burning a little.

“Tyler,” Ian said, waving his hand in front of me. “This is Dean. He’s just moved here with his parents. He’s in my class now.”

I smiled at Ian, then turned back to Dean. For some reason, I just wanted to stare at him. I didn’t know why I did, but he just seemed so…nice.

“Hello,” Dean said, giving me a funny grin.

“H-Hello,” I said, feeling my cheeks burn again.

“Have you been running or something?” Ian asked. “Are you sick? Your face is really red.”

I turned away, feeling really silly. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me all of a sudden. “I’m fine,” I said, trying to turn my head even further away, but Dean came up to me.

Placing a hand on my cheek, he frowned. “You do feel a little hot. Do you want to go and sit down?”

I suddenly couldn’t move my legs because I was worried if I did, Dean would move his hand away. I was about to agree, but then I heard giggling, making me jump.

Turning my head, I saw Tim with a couple of other boys. I hated him. He was always chasing me in the playground and pulling my hair.

“You got a new boyfriend, Tyler?!” he shouted with a giggle. “It didn’t take you long, did it?”

If I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the boy next to him started shouting, as well, “Yeah. You better watch Ian doesn’t get jealous.”

I felt the tears well up in my eyes, but I was determined not to let them see me cry. “Shut up, Tim!” I shouted back.

“Or what?” he asked with a snort. “Are you going to set your new boyfriend on me?”

All the boys started laughing. Suddenly, Dean went up to the boy and punched him in the face. Everyone in the playground screamed and Tim bent over, holding his bloody nose.

“Don’t you ever talk to her like that again, do you hear?!” Dean screamed, yanking at his shirt collar.

Tim’s eyes went wide. He was afraid of Dean? I had never seen Tim afraid of anybody. It made me like this new boy even more.

Tim nodded, but before he could speak, a teacher came over and took Dean and Tim away. Dean followed the teacher, but he looked back one last time with a smile and a wink.

I smiled right back at him.



*****



It happened again today. I got back from work late and decided I should pick up another burger on my way home. This deadline my editor was imposing on me was going to kill me.

Walking into my apartment, I immediately noticed it. My pen. I left it on the dining room table, and now it had been moved back to my desk. It sat there as bold as brass. He may well have hung an “I’m here!” sign on my wall.

This had been going on for quite some time now. It was just little things like pens out of place, or clothes, which were hanging over my wardrobe door, were now miraculously folded back up inside my wardrobe. It was subtle little things, but things nonetheless.

When this all started three years ago, I was wondering whether I was going out of my mind. It wasn’t until I deliberately put a blanket on my sofa, then later found it right back where I retrieved it from that I knew I wasn’t going crazy. Someone was going through my house and moving my things. Why? I really couldn’t tell you. I just thought it would be good to document everything that happened, just in case this person suddenly came in the flat and thought it would be a good time to murder me.

Why hadn’t I gone to the police? Well, it may sound strange, but I didn’t feel scared. Call me stupid, but I didn’t feel this person wanted to hurt me in any way. I wasn’t sure if it was the beautiful, masculine musky smell he left behind, or the way I found his silly hiding games so comical. For some reason, he just wanted me to know he was here.

I was also being followed on a regular basis. I could sense that, too, but I didn’t feel intimated or frightened by it. I’d even started referring to this guy as “My Stranger”.

Now, this might sound absolutely crazy, but the thing that really bugged me about this guy was that he had a fetish for toilet paper being placed on the underside of the hook in the toilet. What annoyed me about it was I hate—and I mean hate it—when people did that. Don’t ask me why it bugged me so much, but it did. Toilet paper should be upside on the hook, not underside!



*****



The following day, I was spending my lunch hour with Ian. We were still best friends who relied on each other, and had been with each other through thick and thin. We’d practically known each other since we were babies. Our parents met before I was even born and Ian was almost two. It was strange why he hung around me, considering there was a two year difference. It all started at the age of five when I started school. Ian had already been there two years and felt the need to protect me. We became a lot closer after that. He was the golden boy, as far as my parents were concerned. He could never do anything wrong. They knew I liked Dean, but always pushed me towards Ian. I guess Dean punching someone on his first day of school didn’t help the impression they had of him. And this was what was wrong with today. The only person missing from our unit was Dean.

“You know, it’s his thirty-first birthday today.”

Looking up at Ian, I saw his sombre face. Ian was always a good-looking boy with golden hair and bright brown eyes. His hair was a wavy mess, which had never changed. He only grew to five foot ten, but that was still taller than my five foot five. “Whatever happened to him, Ian?” It still pained me whenever I thought about him.

Frowning, Ian looked off into the distance. “I don’t know. He just up and disappeared on us. I’ve never heard from him again. I don’t know whether to blame him or his parents. We were all good friends until he pissed off.”

Feeling the guilt surface, I sighed. “He was young, Ian. We all were.”

Ian saw the expression and frowned. “You know, I will never forgive him for leaving you like that. I’m not stupid. I know you two were close, and I know he said he would come back for you. The little shitbag never did and it hurts me to see you still like this, even after all these years.” Ian looked down at the floor and shook his head.

“Ian, it was thirteen years ago. A lot has changed since then.” I didn’t know who I was trying to convince…him or me.

Looking me in the eye, Ian sighed. “And you’ve never gotten over him, have you?” He saw me look away, so he gently grabbed my hand. “You can’t lie to me, Tyler. I’ve known you for too long. I can see in your eyes just how much you miss him.”

Snatching my hand away, I gave a deep sigh and smiled. “You can’t change the past, Ian. What happened, happened. Life has to move on. I won’t deny I still think about him, but what’s the point? I think thirteen years is long enough to let me know he’s not ever coming back.”

Sitting back in his chair, Ian gave me a cheeky grin. “You know, there’s always me. We don’t have long to go until that time, Tyler.” Ian winked at me, referring to the running joke we have that once I hit thirty, and we still hadn’t found anyone, we would get married to each other.

“We’d kill each other within the first year. I can guarantee it.” I winked back.

Ian shook his head in dismay. “You know, I’m a little disappointed in you, Tyler. I would have thought you had a bit more faith in our relationship after all this time.”

I started laughing. “You and I both know it’s true.”

Playing with his lighter, Ian sat up and grabbed a cigarette. “That’s the third one you’ve had in the last fifteen minutes,” I stated.

Putting it in his mouth, he lit it up. “I know. My nerves are shot to fucking hell today. I’ve got to write this article on the youths of today, and I can’t seem to focus. I’m expected to have it ready by three o’clock this afternoon.”

I looked at my watch. “You do realise it’s already one-thirty, don’t you?”

Rising out of his seat suddenly, his eyes bulged. “Fucking hell! I gotta go.”

Laughing loudly, I shook my head. “Go, go! I’ll pay up here.”

“Thanks, babes. I can always count on you.”

Rising from my seat, I smiled at him. “You’ll just owe me.”

“Sure, sure,” he said, running out the door.

Once I paid for our lunch, I took a leisurely stroll back to my office. For some reason, my editor-in-chief wasn’t breathing down my neck today, and once I got back to the office, I found out why. Louisa, one of my colleagues and close friends, came running towards me.

“Boss wants to see you.” Louisa frowned, showing me the little crinkle at the top of her forehead. Louisa had the most beautiful auburn hair I had ever seen. She had green eyes, just like me, but she looked like a runway model. She was tall and skinny, I was smaller and curvier. She had curly hair, I had straight blonde hair. She was also younger. It was only by a year, but that was one more year away from hitting thirty. I really didn’t want to think about that right now.

Placing my bag under my desk, I looked up to meet Louisa’s eyes. “Terry? What does he want?”

Shaking her head, she looked serious. “Not Terry. Andrew Walker.”

My eyes widened. “What did I do?”

Louisa stared towards his office and flicked her luscious auburn locks from her face. “I can’t see that you’ve done anything. You’ve been meeting deadlines and working your arse off. I would say more often than most here.” Louisa looked at a couple of people and scowled. She hated laziness.

“Okay… I suppose I better go and see what he wants.”

Placing my coat around my chair, I timidly proceeded towards his office. I never had many dealings with Andrew Walker. He was top dog for the newspaper I worked for and, normally, you only got called into his office when a reprimand was needed. To say I was shitting in my pants right now was an understatement.

Feeling everybody’s eyes upon me, I knocked on the door. “Come in!” I heard as I carefully turned the door handle.

There he was…Mr. Walker, bold as brass in his chair. He was very tall with what looked like an average build, but it was kind of hard to tell with the bulky clothes he kept on wearing. I think he was a little bit older than me, but he looked much older with his beard and glasses. He looked like he belonged as a headmaster in a school, rather than a publisher of the Daily London newspaper. One thing I did notice about him was that he did have nice light blue eyes, but that was about it for him.

“Ah, Tyler. Please sit down,” he said with his gruff voice. He even sounded older. He saw my timid approach and smiled. “Don’t worry. I won’t bite.”

Smiling and breathing a huge sigh of relief, I took a seat opposite his desk.

“Tyler, I know I don’t do this very often, but it has come to my attention that you’ve been working very hard these last couple of months. You’ve often come in early and stayed here late. I just wanted to thank you for your efforts.”

Oh shit, there it was. I giggled. Of course I did!

“What’s so funny?” Andrew asked, leaning forward on his desk, his hands clasped together.

“Sorry. Nothing, Mr. Walker. I just wasn’t expecting it, I suppose.”

He suddenly looked affronted. “Are you saying I’m such a hard-ass that I couldn’t possibly give praise where praise is due?”

I’m panicking! I’m panicking! “No, of course not, sir. It’s just that I’ve never been called in here unless it’s about a big story, or a meeting that needs to be addressed.” Swallowing hard, I felt the need to say more. “I appreciate everything you’ve said, Mr. Walker. I love my job. I always have. Journalism was something I wanted to get into since I was a little girl. I love writing, and I love meeting new people and telling their stories. It just makes me happy, I guess.”

Smiling, Mr. Walker relaxed back in his chair. “Have you got any new stories to tell, Tyler?”

I immediately thought of “My Stranger”. Shit, what a big story that would be! The only problem was no one knew anything about him. It was almost like he was my little secret. Something I wanted to keep close to me and only me. It sounded weird, but that was just how I felt.

Thinking about it some more, I had always wanted to do an article on childhood sweethearts. I pitched it to my editor, but she rebuffed it and said it was too soppy. I always thought papers sometimes needed a bit of soppy. Every once in a while, I thought people would like to read something good in the news for a change.

“You have something in mind, don’t you? I can see the wheels turning in your head.”

Debating it, I wondered whether Suzie would be pissed off with me for going over her head.

“It was just an idea. I’m sure you won’t like it.” I waved my hand in front of me, just to prove the point.

“I want to hear it.”

Sighing, I looked across at Mr. Walker. Maybe he wasn’t the hard-ass everyone made him out to be. “I wanted to run an article on childhood sweethearts. Just a nice article about children who have grown up together, who are still with each other, and may even be married with kids.”

Smiling, Mr. Walker leaned forward on his desk again. “I like the idea.”

Shocked, my posture straightened. “You do?”

Laughing, he said, “Yes, why not? Have you got a childhood sweetheart?”

Thinking about Dean, I often wondered what would have become of us if he had stayed. Feeling a little saddened by the idea, I shook my head. “No. I’m young, free, and single. I think a bit too single. I haven’t had a date in—”

Fucking hell, Tyler. What the hell are you doing?!

“Shit… I mean, sorry. That was a little too personal.”

“That’s quite all right,” he said, smiling. “I like the idea. Why don’t you run with it and let me see what you come up with?”

Feeling my heart drumming, I nodded. “Of course. It would be my pleasure.”

“Excellent. I’ll let Suzie know you’re working on something for me, and we’ll see what you produce. I’ll give you forty-eight hours to find some stories. How does that sound?”

Shit, that wasn’t a lot of time, considering I had to find people to talk to. Thank God for the internet. “Yes, that sounds fine with me.”

Banging his fist lightly on the table, Mr. Walker sighed. “Good. Now get to it. Before you go to your desk, can you please tell Suzie I want to see her?”

Taking that as my cue to leave, I quickly got out of my chair. “Of course. Thank you.”

I was out the door as quick as my legs could carry me, then went in search of Suzie to let her know Mr. Walker wanted to see her.

Scurrying back towards my desk afterwards, I sat down and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Louisa motioned with a thumbs up, a questioning look on her face. I smiled and gave her one right back. I knew she couldn’t get away for a chat, so a very brief thumbs up was all she needed to know that I was okay.

Slouching down in my chair, I thought about Andrew Walker and how much he surprised me today. He wasn’t at all how I imagined. In fact, he seemed nice. But it was the thought that he let me run this story I’ve wanted to do for years which impressed me the most.

With that running through my head, I started frantically searching for people to interview. I sent out message after message, and it was only once I’d finished my day that I got through them all.



*****



Once I was home, I sent a couple of messages back, thanking some people. I had managed to secure an interview with two sets of couples…one had met in school when they were ten, and the other was a step-brother/step-sister who had met when they were twelve. A little strange, but still a story nonetheless. People always got a kick out of that sort of thing.

I just finished my messages when I decided to get something to eat. My belly was rumbling and I knew it was crying out for something more substantial than burgers and fries.

I grabbed my car keys and made my way out to the car park so I could drive down to the local Chinese restaurant. It was only when I got to my car that the hyperventilating started.

I pulled my car into my spot every day. Now, however, my car was backed into my space. I had only left it there about two hours ago!

This led me down the path of only one solution. In the two hours of arranging emails and interviews, my stranger had been in my car, reversed out of my space, turned the car around, then reversed it back in again.

I should have been scared. This whole thing should be scaring me but, for some reason, all I did was laugh. Right there in the middle of the car park, I laughed my head off.

“Are you okay?” said a voice, startling me.

Looking to my right, I saw it was Alan, one of my neighbours, looking at me peculiarly. “Yes, sorry. I was just thinking how silly it was that I forgot my car keys.”

Looking down at my hand, he said, “But they’re in your hand.”

Laughing, I nodded. “Yeah, I know. I forgot that, too.”

Alan laughed right along with me and shook his head. “It happens to all of us, Tyler. Don’t worry. It’s probably old age.”

Pushing his shoulder, I scowled at him. “Hey, less of the old, mister!”

Alan laughed, but went on his way. All I could do after waving goodbye was stand there, completely bewildered. I knew my stranger was trying to communicate with me, but I wasn’t sure just how much further he would take things.

I would find out soon enough.





Chapter 2



Dean



If you prick us, do we not bleed?

If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

If you poison us, do we not die?

And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

William Shakespeare





Have you ever heard the saying, “Being betrayed is one of the most valuable lessons life can teach”? Well, that was me in a fucking nutshell. I was young, naïve, and ended up falling for a girl who betrayed me. It was at that moment in my life, when I was only eighteen, that everything changed for me. I was no longer the lovesick puppy dog that hung around a girl just because she fluttered her eyelashes at me. Tyler was just like any other girl. She was manipulative and greedy. She was a witch in fucking sexy high heels.

When I was young, I thought she wanted to be with me. When we first met and I punched that fucking twat Tim, I knew she was the one for me. Call it stupid, as I was only eight at the time, but just a simple smile and the flush of her cheeks was when I finally became aware of girls. Well, one girl.

We played together, spent time together…but, all that time, she was just playing me. I even gave her a locket with a set of angel wings because she reminded me of an angel. How fucking dumb was I?

I used to be soft, but since she betrayed me and went with that arsehole behind my back, I’d never forgive her. She knew how much I loved her, but the minute I was gone, she went with him. She was with me through good and bad, then she betrayed me in the worst way possible and rubbed my face in it. The witch completely blanked me and favoured his friendship over mine.

She’ll never be able to love again. I’ll make sure of it. Since that time all those years ago, I had grown and made myself stronger. If she saw me now, she would never recognise me. It took time to put my plan into action, but I was almost ready to act. She would pay for what she did to me, and she would never be able to heal once I was done.

Tyler O’Shea and her family would regret the day they ever betrayed Dean Scozzari and his family. I was going to completely damage her. I’d chew her up and spit her out. First of all, though, I was going to have some fun with her. I couldn’t wait to see her squirm when I started my games. Just wait and see how what I had in store for her would frighten and excite her at the same time. I’d lull her into a false sense of security—then I’d strike.

She was mine for the taking. She’d always be mine because once I finished my plan, I’d be leaving my permanent fucking mark.





Chapter 3



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 1991





“What did you do at school today?” my mummy asked me as we sat down to dinner.

I smiled brightly at my mum and started twirling my hair. “Well, Math was really boring, and I caught Mr. Branning picking his nose in English. Eww.” I scrunched up my face, but my mum and dad just stared at me. My sister, Rebecca, was only three, so all she did was carry on playing with her doll on the table.

“At playtime, me and Dean played hide-and-seek, but he kept on finding me.” I started laughing when I thought about Dean grabbing me when I was hiding behind the toilets. I thought it was a good place to hide, but Dean had obviously played this game lots of times before.

I looked up at my mum and dad, and could see them frowning at each other. My dad then turned to me with a sigh. “Did you not play with Ian?”

“Of course I did.” I smiled. “We all play together. We always play together.”

My mummy placed her hand on mine. “It’s just…every conversation is about Dean these days. Don’t forget who your old friend is, Tyler.”

I frowned at mummy and daddy. For some reason, they didn’t like it when I talked about Dean. “Why don’t you like him?”

I could feel myself growing sad and I knew my mum and dad didn’t like it when I got sad. “It’s not that we don’t like him, darling.” My mum smiled softly and stroked my hand. “It’s just, well…he did hit a boy the first day of school.”

I got angry then. I didn’t like it when they said bad things about Dean. “He only hit Tim because he was being really mean to me. He was being a good friend by sticking up for me.”

My mum smiled and nodded her head. “We know, sweetie. Just be careful.”



*****



The next day, I strolled down to my car. I had pulled it, like usual, into the space. I was expecting it to be parked the other way around and, sure enough, it was. Smiling to myself, I thought how nice of my stranger to park it that way so all I had to do was drive out. It was then that I thought to myself how nice it would be to thank my stranger/stalker, but how could I when I’d never even met him?

But then it came to me. A flash of inspiration, if you will. I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought of this before.

Rushing back upstairs, I thought there was no time to lose. I didn’t want to get to work too late.

Rushing inside my flat, I grabbed a notepad and pen. Scribbling on it, I wrote, Thank you for backing my car into my space. It was very thoughtful of you.

Leaving it on the table so it was a plain to see, I grabbed all my things again and left. The only problem now was that I couldn’t wait to get home and see if one, it looked like he’d read it, and two, and this was the scariest and most exciting part, would he respond?

Trying to bury that thought, I got to work with visiting the couples for my two stories I hoped were good enough to submit to Andrew Walker.

My first stop was the step-brother/step-sister, Daniel and Melody. I was interested to hear what they had to say, and hoped it would be rather juicy and romantic.

Once I had finished at their house and all was wrapped up, I got to work as soon as I could. Louisa was patiently waiting next to my booth. “Hey. I didn’t get a chance to talk to you yesterday. How did it go with big man in there?” Louisa pointed in the direction of Andrew Walker’s office.

“It went well. He just wanted to let me know how well he thought I was doing and how much he appreciated my hard work.”

Her eyes widening, she sat on my desk. “Wow.”

Putting my bag under my desk, I sat down. “But that’s not all.”

Louisa frowned, leaning in a little more. “It’s not?”

“No. I told him about a story I wanted to do, and he said he wanted me to go with it. That was after I told him about my freaking love life!”

Louisa gasped. “Noooo!”

“Oh, yes,” I said, nodding. “I don’t know what the hell came over me. I said I wanted to do a story on childhood sweethearts. He said it was a good idea and asked if I had one of my own. I told him no, but that’s not the worst part. The worst part was when I started blabbing on about not having a date in God knows how long.” I rolled my eyes and cringed.

Louisa laughed. “Oh dear. That’s not good. What did he say?”

“He smiled and said it was fine. I still can’t help feeling like an idiot every time I replay the conversation in my head.”

“But he liked the idea and wants you to go with it?”

“Yeah. At least that’s something. I just got back from visiting a step-brother and step-sister. They’re twenty-seven now, but have been together since they were twelve. It’s actually quite a funny story as they hated each other at first. They were attracted to one another right from the start, but they didn’t want to let the other one know how they felt.”

Smiling, Louisa played with her locks. “Sounds interesting, and I’m sure you’ll do a good job.”

Pulling my seat under my desk, I smiled. “Thanks.”

After a few seconds of silence, Louisa spoke. “You know, you have to remedy this.”

Looking up at her with a frown, I asked, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“This ‘I haven’t been on a date in forever’ thing. You need to get laid, girl, and I know just the place to take you. How about this Friday?”

I sat back in my chair and bit my lip. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. “I don’t know. I’m not sure what Suzie might have in store for me after this.”

Throwing her hands onto her lap, Louisa let out a frustrated sigh. “Oh, come on, Tyler. I know journalism is your life, but you’ve got to live a little, too. Just a few drinks, then some hot and heavy sex with some random guy.”

“You make it sound so easy,” I laughed.

“We do have it easy. All we need is a vagina, and we’re guaranteed sex wherever we go. Men just can’t resist us.”

Laughing, I thought maybe she was right. I had been neglecting myself in that department for a very long time now. “Okay. It’s a date!”

Jumping up from my desk, Louisa clapped her hands. “Great! Let’s meet outside Bo Jangles at eight. How does that sound?”

Bo Jangles wasn’t too far away from my apartment. “Sounds great.”

It was only a few minutes after she left that Ian came over to my desk. “How are you, sugar lips?”

Looking up, my eyebrow raised. “Sugar lips?”

Ian ran his fingers through his golden locks and smiled. “Yeah. I guess I’m feeling good about myself today.”

“Why? Did you get laid?” Trying to type an email, I looked up when Ian didn’t answer. I saw the big huge grin on his face and I knew that said it all. “You little arse. Who was she?”

Ian winked and leaned over a little. “Someone I met at a club in Soho. We hit it off, and once I thought I had a shot, I invited her back to my place. She accepted and… Well, I think you know the rest.”

Slapping his knee, I couldn’t help feeling jealous. Everyone was having sex right, left, and centre, except for me. “You jammy bastard.”

“No need to get jealous, sugar lips. I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone out there willing to sleep with you.”

Gasping, I very nearly lunged for the git. “You better get out of here before I launch my stapler at your head.”

“I’m sorry, Tyler. I couldn’t resist it. How about we go out this Friday night…after the Bolognaise, of course? I’ll buy the drinks, considering you paid for lunch the other day.”

Remembering how he had to rush out of the restaurant, I had to ask, “Oh, how did that go, by the way?”

Waving his hands, he dismissed it. “I managed to come up with something within the hour. No sweat.”

Looking at Ian, I couldn’t help but feel jealous of his nonchalant attitude. He seemed to work better under pressure, and he can do as he pleased with his time. I hate people like that.

“Well, I can’t make it for our normal Friday night. Maybe Saturday? You can come around for Bolognaise night then. What do you say?”

“Will there be sex involved?”

“Absolutely bloody not, Ian,” I scolded.

“Oh well. A man can try.” Getting up from his perch at the edge of my desk, Ian smiled. “What shall I bring around, red or white?”

Sitting back in my chair, I twiddled my pen. “Maybe a bit of both. You normally do anyway.”

“Very daring, Tyler. Okay, I’ll bring both. Maybe spin the bottle won’t be out of the question.”

Watching him stroll away, I tried throwing a paperclip at his head, but it missed him and landed right on the head of Thomas, one of the senior editors.

Trying hard not to laugh, I leaned back in my chair and scooted down as much as possible, trying to get out of sight. Thomas looked everywhere for the offending person, but shrugged once he realised he wasn’t getting anywhere.

I wasn’t completely out of the woods just yet. Looking around, I glanced over and just happened to see Andrew Walker walking past our cubicles. He seemed to study me somewhat curiously, then went on his way. Oh shit. How much did he see?

Trying hard not to think about it, I got to work on some things until it was time to go meet the second couple for my article.

This next set of childhood sweethearts was rather adorable. I was glad I taped the whole conversation between us as I couldn’t remember a damn thing once I left. The whole time I was there, I was fidgeting and getting antsy. I was dying to get home and find out if my stranger had replied to me.



*****



Once my day was over, I got back home and pulled into my parking space. I raced for the stairs. Unlocking the door, my heart was thumping so wildly, I thought it might just spontaneously combust.

Dumping everything on the floor, I went to my kitchen and found the note sitting where I left it this morning. I could see my writing on it, but couldn’t see a reply. I felt disheartened for a second because I had been thinking about it all day. I was looking forward to coming home and finding a little note back to me. In a sense, I felt a little angry.

Figuring I shouldn’t concern myself too much with it, I decided to get a drink of wine and sit down at the table.

Sipping the wine, I looked at the note again. It was almost as if I was willing the words to pop out at me. I didn’t know what I wanted him to say. I just wanted him to say something—anything. One word would do, just to let me know I wasn’t going bloody crazy.

I don’t know why, but something told me to turn the note over. I gasped. “Shit!” I’m not going fucking mad after all. All these years of thinking I was going crazy, thinking that maybe I had been dreaming this all up. Dreaming him up.

Not now, though. Staring at me now were two words. Yes, two. I actually managed to get two words from my stranger, and they were the most beautiful words I had ever seen.

You’re welcome.

For some strange reason, I felt complete elation with this tiny little note. For three years, I had been going out of my mind, wondering who the hell this guy was. It was only today that I came up with the idea of trying to communicate with him. If I had been doing this from the very beginning, who knows where we would be now.

Sipping my wine again, I wondered what I should write back. Should I ask him his name? Should I ask him why he’s been stalking me for the past three years? Should I ask him why he keeps moving my stuff? But, most of all, should I ask him why he keeps on bloody insisting on turning the toilet paper the wrong way?! He was obviously a little bit OCD with his need for things to be in the right place. He wasn’t even living here and he was taking over.

Me being me, I wrote the only thing I could think of on the note.

Do you like cookies?

How fucked up am I? Of all the things I could ask him, I ask him if he liked cookies? The only reason that even came into my head was because I bought some on a two-for-one deal down at the local supermarket yesterday when I went to get my Chinese food. I must be going mad!



*****



The very next day was even more exciting. The next morning, I left that note, along with a plate of three cookies, for him. Once I got home, the cookies were gone, the plate was cleaned and put back in its place, and there was a note from him.

Yes. Thank you.

Every day these past few days, I had been coming home and would pull into my space and, every morning, my car would be parked the other way. It was becoming a regular thing.

The other great thing that happened was submitting my story to Andrew Walker. He read it thoroughly and loved it. It was displayed on page five in the following day’s edition. Things were certainly looking up for me. Everyone loved the article. Suzie, once she realised I had gone over her head, was another story. I didn’t mind. Everyone said it was a great article, and the best thing about it was when Mr. Walker patted me on the back and gave me a huge smile. I didn’t care about anything else.

It did, however, start me thinking about a column for the newspaper. I got the idea and asked if I could see Mr. Walker about it. It was my stranger that made me come up with the idea.

The suggestion was I could head a column full of messages and poems from secret admirers. People could post names and little messages in the hopes that special someone they’d been harbouring feelings for would read it. Mr. Walker thought it was a fantastic idea and told me to set it up straight away.

The minute I got back to my desk, I set up a column called From Afar, asking people to get in touch with me at work with any messages of love and devotion for their secret crush. I didn’t know why I called it that. I guess my stranger had something to do with it. He seemed to be bringing out the creative devil in me, I guess.

Once I got home, I saw another note on the table.

Need more cookies.

After laughing for several minutes, I decided to get myself some dinner and start working on my laptop.





Chapter 4



Dean



Stronger than lover’s love is lover’s hate.

Incurable, in each, the wounds they make.

Euripides





I was so pumped tonight, I couldn’t seem to focus. In the end, I went down to my basement and took it out on my punching bag. I punished that thing every day but, for some reason, it needed more punishing today. Maybe it was because I was now starting to communicate with Tyler. I knew the day would come when I had to push things a little. I just always thought it would be me acting first.

After a gruelling half-hour, I decided to call it quits. I was in the middle of unwinding the tape on my knuckles when my uncle Humphrey appeared.

“What’s up, Deany boy? You look a little out of sorts today. Are you not getting enough pussy?” My uncle smiled, but I huffed in his direction. He always knew how to wind me up further than I already was.

“Don’t worry about me, old man. You just concentrate on your own love life. I haven’t seen you get any action in months.”

Humphrey shook his head with an unamused grin. “Hey, less of the ‘old man’, you fucking jumpstart. Just remember who’s lived longer and has more experience dealing with little chumps like you.”

I smiled. I had to give my uncle his due. He was right. He had been at this game a lot longer than me. He was in his fifties, now had greying hair, but still looked every bit the bad boy on the street that he used to be. We Scozzari’s had a bad name. My parents tried to hide me from their way of life, but then they fucking died on me. Who else, besides me, was going to carry on their empire? I had to learn a lot since their death, but it turned me into the man I was now. Actually, Tyler turned me into the man I was now.

“What have you come down here for anyway? Do you want to get in on a little one-to-one action with me? I can show you how a real man boxes, if you like.” I swiped the air with a couple of punches for good measure, but all Humphrey did was shake his head.

“I have no desire to put you out on the floor.” I rolled my eyes, but didn’t challenge him. “I just came to tell you that Jimmy called. He told me to tell you that the little errand you sent him on was done.”

I nodded with a smile. “Good. I’ll wire the money to him as soon as I’m done showering.”





Chapter 5



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 1993





“You can never escape me, Tyler. You know I’ll always find you.”

I threw my hand over my mouth, trying to stifle my giggle. He was so close to me now and probably already knew where I was. I think he just liked to make my heart beat faster. Dean always knew how to do that.

I was eight and he was ten now. Dean was getting so much taller than me, but I was getting tall for an eight-year-old, too. I think that’s why the three of us worked so well. It always bothered me to think that, one day, Ian and Dean would think I was too young to play with anymore. Sometimes it frightened me a little.

“Rosey,” he called out with a little hum in his voice. That had been my nickname ever since the day we first met and I felt my cheeks burning. It just stuck with me ever since.

“I can see you,” he whispered right in my ear.

I jumped, squealing, and ran out from my hiding spot behind the tree. Dean laughed, but caught me in his arms. “You can’t get away from me, Rosey. I’ve got you now.” He tickled me until I couldn’t breathe.

“Please, stop!” I shouted, giggling harder.

Dean stopped, then pulled me up to look at him. He searched my face and then smiled. “See, still rosey,” he said, stroking my cheek.



*****



Today was another good day. It was Friday, but what was so good about it was the untold amount of messages that had come in since my post in yesterday’s paper. Lots of people were thrilled about the idea. Some emails were a bit creepy, but the majority of them were messages of love. It was amazing how many people out there were secretly harbouring a crush of some kind.

Some of the messages were poems, some were little limericks. My personal favourite was from a man named Ned who was desperately seeking his school crush from twenty years ago. Her name was Melanie Cribbins, and she was his first kiss. Sometimes first kisses were just hard to let go of. I knew that more than most.

I was eager to get Ned’s message out there. I put it in the middle of all the others so it stood out for this mysterious Melanie Cribbins to see. It took me hours to go through all my favourites before submitting them to Andrew Walker for publishing.

He was happy with it, and also happy with the amount of responses I had since posting it yesterday. No doubt there would be even more messages over the next couple of days, especially if my first posting was a success.

This morning, I had left about five cookies for my stranger. Of course, by the time I came home, they were all gone and a message sat on my table, thanking me for the treat. If I thought things couldn’t get any weirder, they just did.

Dismissing it for now, I quickly got myself ready for my big night out with Louisa. I didn’t know why I accepted the invitation to go to Bo Jangles, but I guess I’d know later whether it was a good idea or not.

After taking a shower, I stepped into my royal blue dress and sleek black high heels. I always felt sexy, and rather tall, in high heels. Five foot five wasn’t exactly small, but I always wanted to be a bit taller. I just seemed to stop growing once I got to the age of thirteen. It was a little disappointing, but I quickly learned that high heels were my best friend.

Once I was ready, I called a cab. I know the club was only twenty minutes away by foot, but there was no way I was going to walk all that way in these babies. A taxi would do nicely. I got there and saw Louisa waiting outside the club. We gave each other a peck on the cheek and ventured on in. “You look amazing, Louisa. You always do, but damn!”

Laughing, Louisa grabbed my hand. “Thank you, sweetie. You look simply good enough to eat yourself. Nice choice on the little blue number.” She gave me a cheeky wink and smiled. “Now, let’s go find you a man!”

Feeling nervous as hell, I followed her in. We went to get ourselves some drinks and sat down at a table. I didn’t know why I let myself get talked into this but, in a sense, Louisa was right. It had been a while since I had a man in my life. My stranger was the only constant I had right now.

“What about him?” Louisa pointed to a tall man in his twenties with dark, spiky hair.

Sipping my drink, I shook my head. “Nah, not really my type.”

Fidgeting in her chair, Louisa looked around. “Okay, okay. What about him?”

I followed her finger to another guy of smaller height and build. This one also had dark hair, but his was slicked back. “Nope. Too small and skinny.” I was never a fan of skinny men.

Shaking her head, Louisa smiled. “Okay, let’s see.” She scanned the room again, while I sipped on my Margarita. It wasn’t long before her gaze fell on something she obviously liked. The way her lips curved up into a smile gave it away.

Following her gaze, I expected to see some boy band wannabe, as every other guy in here looked virtually the same. However, this guy stood out from the rest. He was tall and lean, with dark blonde hair and wary eyes. Not bad eyes, but sexy, dark eyes.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Louisa shouted.

Trying to feign interest, I shrugged. “He’s okay, I suppose…if you like that sort of thing.”

Louisa’s eyes widened. “Oh girl, come on! You have to admit that he’s hot.”

Smiling, I stuck the straw in my mouth and winked at her. “Maybe just a little.”

Slapping my arm, she chuckled. “That’s my girl. Now, let’s go order more Margaritas. He’s at the bar now, so now’s our opportunity. Come on. Drink up!”

Feeling flustered, I drank as quickly as I could. “Bloody hell, Louisa. At this rate, I’m going to get pissed before I’ve even started.”

Pulling me from the chair, she smiled. “All the more reason to drink quickly. It will make you braver. Now, come on.”

I got up and saluted Louisa. “Yes, sir!” I shouted with a smile.

Giggling, we walked towards the bar area where the sexy blonde guy was standing with two other guys. One of the other guys noticed us straight away and elbowed sexy blonde guy. Once his gaze set on mine, I instantly knew if I was going to sleep with anyone tonight, it was going to be him.

Trying to pry my eyes away so I didn’t look too keen, I set my gaze upon the bar. “Two more Margaritas, please!” I shouted.

“Good evening, ladies,” one of the guys said.

“Hello,” Louisa and I said together, and I noticed sexy blonde guy was gazing at me.

“Can we pay for those drinks for you? It would be our pleasure.” Looking at sexy blonde guy, I nodded and smiled.

“So, what are your names?” he asked.

“I’m Tyler and this is Louisa. What about you three?”

Sexy blonde guy smiled. “I’m Brad, and this is Calvin and Eddie.”

Shaking hands, we ended our pleasantries and got onto other things. “So, where are you from?” I directed my question at Brad, as he was the one I was thinking of bedding tonight.

“I’m from Stoke. A good Northern lad. What about you?”

“I’m originally from Buckinghamshire, but have been living in London for years now.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Louisa smile. She edged herself around me to be closer to Calvin and Eddie. I got the feeling she was leaving me to it.

“Do you get the same impression?”

Flustered, I looked at Brad. “What do you mean?”

Swinging his chair to face me, he motioned with his thumb over his shoulder. “That we’ve been forcibly paired off.”

I didn’t quite know how to answer that. I wasn’t sure if he was being rude or not. “Well, if it’s Louisa you’re interested in, you can just say so.” I wouldn’t blame him. Louisa was always beautiful, but she wore a little black number which showed off her model figure tonight, making her stunning.

Gently grabbing my arm, he smiled. “Of course not. I noticed you, not Louisa. Your friend’s kinda cute, but I don’t really go for redheads. I prefer blondes, especially with beautiful green eyes like yours.”

Catching my breath, I felt my cheeks redden. Brad just looked highly amused. “Don’t tell me you don’t get complimented very much. Surely a girl like you gets asked out all the time.”

I shook my head, amazed at how taken aback he looked. “I work too hard for that sort of thing.”

Brad took a look at my glass and could see it was going down just as fast as my last one. He looked up and motioned towards the barman. “What do you do?” he asked once he placed his order.

I sipped on the last little bit of my drink and smiled. “I’m a journalist. What about you?”

Eyeing me peculiarly, he cocked his eyebrow. “I’m a policeman.”

My eyes widened. “Really?”

Pulling his head back, he laughed. “Don’t look so shocked, young lady. Is it that much of a surprise for me to be a bobby?”

Shaking my head, I laughed. I don’t know why, but I found it comical. “I’m sorry, but you look more like Al Capone than a bobby—and I don’t mean that in a nasty way.”

Smiling, Brad pushed another drink my way. “I think I may let you off with just a warning this time.”

Realising I had already drunk my second drink, I picked up my new one with relish. “Why, thank you, officer. I don’t want to get into trouble now, do I? You might want to get your handcuffs out.”

I can’t believe I just said that!

Wanting to bury my head in my hands, I looked up at Brad with a half-smile. “Sorry. That was lame. I bet you hear that all the time.”

Laughing, he picked up my hand. “It’s true that I do, but not from women as beautiful as you.”

Staring into his lust-filled eyes, I couldn’t hold back the rising burn which was now coursing through me. Call it the alcohol, call it the way he looked with his sexy eyes and taut muscles. At that moment, I knew I wouldn’t be going home alone tonight.



*****



After another two hours of chatting, laughing, and dancing, Louisa left with Calvin and Eddie, and I left with Brad.

The whole ride home in the cab all I wanted to do was climb on top of Brad and kiss him with everything I had. I knew I was drunk, and I knew I was acting on impulse, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. It was why I went out in the first place, wasn’t it?

Getting out of the cab, I fumbled in my bag for my keys. All the while, Brad was kissing my neck from behind. It was making getting the keys out that much harder.

Giggling, I managed to somehow retrieve the keys and put them in the lock. Once I got it open, Brad pinned me to the wall in the hallway and ravished my lips. His mouth was soft, hungry, and inviting. It wasn’t as sexy as I imagined it to be, but nice nonetheless.

Pulling away, we quickly got in the lift and up to my flat. Once inside, I flicked the lights on. Brad grabbed me again and pulled me in for another embrace. I could feel how hard he was and knew he wanted me.

Managing to pry myself away, I looked at him breathlessly. “I just have to get some water.”

Brad nodded and I went off to my kitchen to perform my nightly rituals. I was like clockwork every day. One glass of water the minute I got in, even under these circumstances.

Walking into the kitchen, I opened the fridge door without switching on the lights. I went through the contents and found a bottle of Perrier. Just the ticket. Taking a swig, I still had the door open when Brad walked in and switched the light on. I smiled and closed the door.

Suddenly, his smile turned into a frown as he stared at the fridge. Frowning myself, I wondered what had caught his eye. I turned my head and got the shock of my life.

Dropping the glass bottle, I gasped. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing on my fridge door. He must have known I would come in with Brad, and he must have known the first thing I would do would be to get a glass of water.

Staring at me now was a note from my stranger, printed in big bold letters.

GET HIM OUT!

“Shit, you never said you were married or with anyone. I don’t do this kind of thing with girls who are attached. It’s too much fucking hassle.”

Still in shock, I followed Brad back into the living room, watching him grab his coat. I should have told him. He was a policeman, after all. I should have explained about my stalker who had been breaking in and rummaging through my flat on a regular basis for three years. For some reason, I couldn’t get the words out. I should have said them, but I had this need to protect this stranger. He was my stranger, after all.

After a few seconds of silence, the only thing that left my lips was, “I’m sorry. I thought we didn’t have that kind of relationship, but I’m obviously wrong.”

Sighing, Brad put his coat on. “What do you mean?” He shook his head and walked to the door. “Oh, never mind. Nice meeting you.”

Hearing the door slam shut, I just sank back in my chair. For some reason, I didn’t feel so drunk anymore. Also, for some strange reason, I wasn’t angry. I should have been angry. Whoever he was had been stalking me for God knows how long, been going through my belongings for over three years, and now it seemed he wanted to control my love life. He knew everything there was to know about me, and now he obviously felt like he had some sort of claim on me.

Thinking about it some more, I realized then that he must have followed me tonight. He must have known I was coming home with him and, somehow, got back to my flat before I did.

It was at that moment I wondered if he was still here. How could he possibly have gotten back, wrote that note, and disappeared before I came in? One had to wonder.

With anticipation crawling all the way up my body, I rose from my chair, stumbled a little, then proceeded to make my way through all the rooms.

I didn’t find anything, of course. It was only once I got into the bedroom that I saw another note pinned to my bed. Laughing, I realized he must have put it there just in case I didn’t stick to my daily water ritual.

Whoever this guy was, he wasn’t just jealous. He was possessive. The words scribbled across the paper told me as much.

You are mine!

Sighing, I found myself saying, “If you think I’m yours, why don’t you ever show yourself? Come out, come out, wherever you are.” I giggled.

Standing there for a few seconds, I began to realize all that was greeting me was silence.

Taking the hint, I dropped the note and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I wasn’t going to stew too much on this tonight. I was too drunk and too tired to dwell on what had taken place. Tomorrow was another day. I had to find out, once and for all, who this guy was.



*****



In my dazed sleep, I was vaguely aware of someone’s hands on me. Fingers were trailing up and down my arms so seductively, I couldn’t help my moans. It kind of felt like a dream, but the dream seemed all too real. Am I dreaming? Are these hands on me real? I didn’t know. My head didn’t seem to want to know. All my body wanted to do was feel, and I was lapping up every single morsel of the touch.

Shooting out of bed, I realized it was morning. I searched my bed, but there was nothing. Was it a dream? It felt too real. On the other hand, I was a little intoxicated so I was probably just hallucinating. Maybe having my stranger around me was playing tricks with my head. I was not only seeing things. I was feeling things now.

With a shake of my head, I got up to use the toilet. The paper was on the wrong damn way again. What was with him and this obsession with my toilet paper? “I live here, pal, not you!” I shouted into thin air. “Great! Now you’re getting me to talk to myself. Way to go, Tyler. You’re finally fucking losing it!”

I shook my head, but got on with it. I was eager to see if there were any messages today, so once I was showered and dressed, I switched my phone to silent and booted up my laptop.

I watched as all the messages came floating in. There must have been a hundred of them. Some were a little weird, some were just plain disgusting. With one click, I deleted those, then got on with the genuine ones. I was about halfway through when I spotted a message that piqued my interest straight away.



Hi. My name is Jeremy and I’m fifteen-years-old. For some time now, I have had this crush on a girl I met outside McDonalds, but I never had the guts to approach her and ask her out. I wanted to, but I can’t right now. You see, I’m sick. I’m at the hospital and have been for a few days. It’s obviously hard to declare my undying love to her now, and I feel I don’t have much time. The other thing is that I’ve never really kissed a girl, and if I do die, I would like to go knowing I had my very first kiss.

I actually have several other things on my list, like trying and liking vegetables. Yuck. I can’t understand how adults eat and enjoy vegetables so much. I mean, are they really that special?

Anyway, my secret crush’s name is Julie, and I would love for you to post this message for me.



Julie, for some time now, I have admired you from afar. When I first saw you standing outside McDonalds on Brent Street, a number of things happened. It was your hair that first attracted me to you and made me take notice. Your bouncy, strawberry-blonde hair swayed so magically, my breath immediately caught. When you looked at me, I almost fainted. You have the most unusual eyes I have ever seen. Then you smiled. It was only the briefest of smiles, as you were distracted, but it always made me wonder how much longer you would have stared at me. As for me, I couldn’t steal my eyes away.

If you read this message, I would first of all love to say how beautiful you are. Second of all, if you ever find that you like me, too, and you fancy a chat—or maybe even a little kiss—I would love to hear from you. Love, J.



I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t print my full name. I know several people at school who read your paper and I know I would never hear the end of it if they saw it.

Thank you for your time.

Jeremy



I sat there blinking for several minutes, and even re-read what Jeremy had written. I was immediately drawn to him, and had to find out who he was, so I sat there and wrote a reply.



Dear Jeremy,



I have just read your email and, I must admit, I was immediately taken with your words. You’re only fifteen, but what you said was very heartfelt and mature for someone your age. I, of course, will print this for you, and will endeavour to leave your name out. However, I would love to come and visit you, Jeremy. Could you please let me know which hospital you are in?



Many thanks,

Tyler O’Shea

Writer for the Daily London



I sincerely hoped I wouldn’t scare him off. I wanted to meet Jeremy simply because he intrigued me so much. His email touched me and made me appreciate how much I have in my life. It saddened me to think he may only have a short time left. I didn’t know what made him think that way, but I wanted to find out.

It was when I was just about to get up and make my second cup of coffee that another email came through.



I would love to get a visit from you. I don’t get many visitors. I just didn’t want anyone to find out it was me.



The minute I saw this, I hit REPLY and started typing.



Jeremy, believe me when I say I’m not wanting to see you from a journalistic point-of-view. I would just really like to meet you. I swear, neither your picture nor name will be printed in any of my articles. Unless, of course, you tell me to.



I hit SEND and waited. I could understand his apprehension, as journalists had quite the reputation. The problem I had with my line of work was that I wasn’t like a vulture. That’s why I always wanted to stick with my own column, interviewing people who wished to be interviewed.

It wasn’t long before a reply came. I suppose being stuck in the hospital gives you lots of time to kill.



Okay. I’m at St. Francis on Dexter Street. My name is Jeremy Crawlings and I’m in the Benedict Ward. Visiting hours are between 9am – 11am, and then again from 4pm – 6pm. Come whenever you want, but please bring Twiglets with you.



I sat there and laughed at the Twiglets request, but responded that I would do my utmost to fulfil his wish. He must be like me as far as Marmite was concerned. You either loved it or hated it, and I loved the stuff. It seemed Jeremy and I already had one thing in common.

With the emails dealt with, I decided I would go and do a bit of shopping for tonight’s dinner with Ian. Once I did all that, I could relax a bit before going to visit Jeremy. I was looking forward to meeting him.

It was when I was about to rush out the door that I had an email alert on my phone. It was from Louisa, so I instantly pulled it up.



Tyler,



You won’t believe what the fuck just happened!! Why aren’t you answering your fucking phone??? Anyway, I’ve just checked my mail and got an invite to the mansion!! Jesus, Tyler, do you realise just how long I’ve waited for this??? It’s for this Saturday and I can bring a friend. You are soooo going with me. If you say you can’t make it, I shall have to beat you and drag you with me.



Louisa xx



I had to laugh. I knew how important this was to her because she had been waiting on a list for months. This “mansion”, as she calls it, is a complete mystery. Every month, a select few got picked to attend a party. It was very strange, but only because no one knew who the hell owned the place. People just got invited, stayed the night if they wanted to, then went home. No speaking with the host, no knowing why the hell they went. It was like the mystery of it all compelled people to want to go even more. Louisa, being the journalist she was had been determined to find out all about it. I couldn’t say how many times she’d driven past it just itching to get inside to see what it was all about.

And now she wants me to go? Of course I’m going to have to go; otherwise, I would never hear the end of it. I knew my parents had been badgering me about coming to see them. Between their work and mine, we never seemed to find the time. I was going to suggest this weekend, but it looks as though that wouldn’t happen now.

With a sigh, I shut the door and hit REPLY.



I’m not a fan of getting beaten by my friends, so I think I’m left with little choice.



I pressed SEND, then opened the door and made my way down to the street. I wasn’t going to use my car today, but I couldn’t help but take a peak outside to see if it was backed in again. Sure enough, it was, but I was hardly surprised anymore.

The morning went the way I planned, and I even managed to pick up the all-important Twiglets for Jeremy. I was really looking forward to meeting him. He seemed like a pretty cool kid. I also got stocked up on wine and some mince for the Bolognaise tonight. Ian always said I cooked a mean Bolognaise.

I walked into my flat, bags in tow, and immediately headed for the bathroom. I could hardly be surprised at what I found when I got there. With a deep sigh, I tried calming myself before switching the toilet paper back around the proper way. My stranger was either trying to wind me up, or he thought this was a hilarious game. Either way, sometimes it grated on me. If this was a relationship, I would meet someone and ask them to move in with me, taking the consequences as they came. With this guy, I had no other choice but to put up with his annoying habits.

So, Tyler went about her business in her home where her stranger visits. In her home where he watches her and knew all about her. I must be crazy to put up with that shit.

All of it made me think about Brad for a minute. I would gladly have taken him to my bed last night but, for some reason, I was glad it never happened. My stranger obviously felt he had a claim on me. Why? I wasn’t sure. And what he would do about it, I wasn’t sure of that, either. I’m not saying I was glad because I didn’t want to piss my stranger off. But I’m not the type of girl to bring some random guy back to their place and sleep with him. In a sense, he kind of did me a favour. In another sense, though, it made me wonder about meeting someone. What if I did meet a guy and we got along really well? What if, at some point, I wanted to bring him back here? What if we wanted to build a relationship? What would happen to my stranger then? What would he do about it? I didn’t know the answers. At the same time, as it was freaking me out a little, it also made me a little excited, in a perverted sort of way.

I know I probably needed to see someone. I must be certifiable by keeping all this quiet. My parents and friends would go ballistic if they ever knew I was being practically stalked and I did nothing about it, said nothing about it. To be perfectly honest, I couldn’t understand the logic behind it myself. He must be a little crazy himself if he went around doing things like this. It obviously wasn’t normal. It was deviant behaviour, and I sat there wondering what the hell he was going to do next. He had been my constant for the past three years, but it never went beyond tidying up what I had messed up, or moving something to a spot he thought it should be. Did last night’s outburst change things? Will it finally set something in motion that will answer all my longing questions? Who was he? What did he want with me? Am I going to wake up during the night with him hovering over my bed and an axe in his hand? They were all perfectly logical questions. The only thing seeming to discredit the last one was the fact that if he wanted to harm me, he would surely have done it by now. There was no denying he had plenty of opportunities in the past to do exactly that. If he wanted me dead, why was I still here?

With that and other things milling around in my head, I went to work putting the groceries away, doing a bit of housework, and grabbing a small bite to eat before heading out to see Jeremy. The hospital was only around a half-hour walk from where I lived, so when it got close to three-thirty, I thought I should leave. I hadn’t been exercising lately, so a quick, brisk stroll to the hospital and back would be just the ticket for today.

With a bag of Twiglets stuffed in my bag, and a book I picked up for Jeremy at the store, I was well on my way. It was a cloudy day again today, so I made sure I took my umbrella just in case. I didn’t want to get caught in a rainstorm halfway to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, I gazed at the directory to try and find the Benedict Ward. The ward was on the third floor, so I walked to the lift. The hospital was busy. Even the lift had about ten people trying to squeeze their way in. I seriously started panicking that maybe I was in a lift with people who had all done bad things and were going to hell. I couldn’t deal with being visited by the devil today and being sent to burn for eternity. I had other things to do.

Once it got to the third floor, I breathed a sigh of relief and excused myself, walking out of the lift. All seemed quiet, apart from a couple who were standing by the doorway of the ward. The lady was crying, and the man beside her was comforting her as best he could. It made me feel a little saddened by the prospect that they had a child here who was ill…or worse.

Shuddering at the thought, I did my best to try and give them their privacy, quickly making my way in. My first shock was at seeing the amount of children on the ward. I didn’t realise so many children could get sick. I knew they did but it was a shock to see nonetheless.

“Can I help you?” a nurse asked as I looked around.

“Yes, please. I’ve come to visit Jeremy Crawlings. He is expecting me.”

“Tyler O’Shea!”

Looking over the nurse’s shoulder, I spotted a boy with no hair sitting up in bed. He was very good-looking with soft blue eyes and rosebud lips. Despite all of this, though, he didn’t look very well.

“Jeremy?” I asked, thanking the nurse and making my way towards his bed.

“Wow. You’re even hotter in the flesh. Your picture doesn’t do you justice.”

I smiled, thinking he had a little bit of cheek in him. I liked people who were cheeky. Some people get away with it, some people don’t. With Jeremy’s cheeky smile, I knew he was the “getting away with it” type.

“And it’s lovely to meet you, too,” I replied, sitting down beside him and reaching out my hand.

Jeremy smiled brightly at me and took my hand. “What, no kiss? I think I’ve changed my mind about Julie now that I’ve met you.”

Giggling, I rummaged through my bag. “As flattered as I am, I don’t think the law takes too kindly to grown women kissing fifteen-year-old boys.”

Jeremy pulled himself up a little on the bed. “Ah, that’s too bad. I suppose there was no harm in asking.”

I shook my head, laughing. “I suppose not. Now, I know you wanted me to bring you Twiglets, and I came through on my promise.” Pulling out the items, I handed them to Jeremy with a warm smile. He took them and his face was a picture. It immediately made my heart swell. I had taken to this boy instantly.

“You don’t know how badly I’ve been craving these. Thank you.”

I placed my bag beside the bed and looked back up at Jeremy. “You’re very welcome. But why won’t someone else bring you some?”

Jeremy’s face fell with a hint of sadness. “I don’t have many friends.”

My heart went from swelling to aching in a fraction of a second. “But why?” I couldn’t understand how anyone would not want to befriend him.

Jeremy shrugged and briefly looked up at me. “There’s no point in me making friends. There’s really no point in you being here, either.”

Rearing back, I gazed upon Jeremy in shock. “But why? I don’t understand.”

He looked at me with a pained expression. “You’re not going to write anything down, are you?”

“Of course not. I made a promise and I will keep it. Whatever you say to me will never leave this room, unless you want it to. I came here today because I wanted to meet you.”

“And kiss me?” he asked with a cheeky grin.

I gave him my best unamused look. “Don’t push it, kiddo.”

Jeremy waved his hand in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’ll behave. I just don’t want to let anyone close to me. I’ve always been on my own and it suits me. Then no one will miss me when I am gone.”

I wanted to grab this boy and hug him with everything I had. “What about your family, Jeremy?”

“I have no family. I’ve never had family. My parents didn’t want me. After living a life of foster care and hospitals, I decided it was best to keep my distance from everyone. No one wants to look after a sick kid. Nobody wants to ever get too close. And I can understand that. In fact, I’d be exactly the same.”

I sat there in complete shock and awe of this boy. A part of me wanted to hug the life out of him, but another part of me wanted to shake him a little, too. For someone who was only fifteen-years-old, he certainly seemed to want to carry a lot of weight and responsibility on his shoulders.

“What are you thinking about?” Jeremy asked when I was silent.

Looking up at him, I smiled timidly. “I was just thinking about how grown-up you are for someone who’s only fifteen.”

“So you agree with me then?”

“I didn’t say I agreed with you. I just think you’re putting too much responsibility on your shoulders.”

“So you don’t agree with it?”

I shook my head. “No, Jeremy. I don’t. I’ve only known you ten minutes and I already know I want you as a friend. I don’t care about anything else but that.”

Now it was Jeremy’s turn to shake his head. “No. You’re better off not being my friend. A friend is someone you have long-term. Someone you rely on for life. I won’t be around for long.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know. Call it gut instinct. I’ve been fighting Leukaemia for years. I don’t think my body can take much more. It’s hard to keep on fighting. It’s hard to have the will to keep fighting.”

Grabbing his hand, I looked into his light blue eyes. “Maybe if you let people into your life, you would want to keep fighting for them. Everybody needs somebody.”

Jeremy’s sad face suddenly lit up with a cheeky grin. “Are you wanting to be my somebody then?”

I shook my head and, with a smile, leaned back a little. “Not if it involves kissing you. I’ll leave that up to you and Julie to get it on.”

I saw the glint in his eye the moment I mentioned her name. “I like me Julie.”

I giggled a little at his reference to Ali G. “You should really tell your Julie.”

“That’s why I’ve got you here, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “I will make it my mission to run this in Monday morning’s edition.”

Jeremy smiled and sat back on his pillow. He saw the book underneath the Twiglets and pulled it out. “You haven’t read that, have you?”

He shook his head. “No, but I’ve heard the film is pretty good.”

I nodded because I had seen the film about a week ago. “It’s good. And I’ve heard the book is even better.”

Jeremy’s expression was one of amusement. “Isn’t that the way it always goes?”

I chuckled a little. “Yes, it normally is that way.”

“Well, thank you for the book. I’ll start reading it later. I have nothing better to do.”

I grimaced a little, feeling terrible that I could leave here and go back to my life. Jeremy only seemed to know this hospital ward.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked, pulling me out of my daze.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

I spied the cheeky grin and shook my head. “No, and I’m not looking for one, either. Don’t you ever give up?”

“I thought you didn’t want me to give up.” His eyebrow raised a little, challenging me.

“Touché, Jeremy. Touché.”

“So why don’t you want a boyfriend?”

I shrugged. “It complicates matters. Besides, I have my stranger.” The minute I said it, my eyes widened. Did I really just tell this boy, whom I’d only known a few minutes, about my stranger? I must be hearing things.

Jeremy clocked my shocked reaction and gave me a wry smile. “Your stranger?” I obviously did say that out loud.

“I’m not sure why I just told you that. I haven’t told anyone else.”

Opening a bag of Twiglets, Jeremy offered one to me. I took it and popped it in my mouth. “I’m trusting you with my life. Maybe you should return the favour. I promise not to say anything beyond this room.”

I sat back in the chair and crunched into the Twiglet. I couldn’t believe I was about to tell him this. I wasn’t sure what compelled me to reveal everything to a fifteen-year-old boy I didn’t know until ten minutes ago.

“For the past three years, I’ve had someone watching me. Someone who keeps coming into my house and moving things around.”

Jeremy sat up. “You have a ghost in your house? That’s cool.”

I shook my head. “No... Well, at least I think he’s real.”

Jeremy looked confused and I couldn’t blame him. “Hold on a sec. You have some strange man coming into your house? Not only that, he’s been doing it for three years?” I nodded my head and swallowed my nervousness. “Holy shit!”

I gasped a little. “Are you sure you should be saying things like that?”

He looked at me apologetically. “I’m sorry, but you got to admit that is one holy shit moment?”

I laughed. Who am I to tell him not to swear? “I suppose it is.”

“So what do you know about him? Haven’t you ever called the rozzers?”

I raised my eyebrow to him. “Rozzers? Have you been watching too much Top Gear?”

He gave me a huge grin. “Well, I do have the same name as one of them.”

“Yeah, but he says everything’s the best thing ‘in the world’. It is James May that says rozzers a lot.”

Jeremy suddenly laughed. “You’re pretty cool. I take it you watch Top Gear?”

I nodded. “Yes. I love it.”

“But you’re a girl.”

Gasping, I squealed, “And what is that supposed to mean?” Jeremy gave me that cheeky grin of his. “You’re winding me up, aren’t you?” He nodded. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I’m not sure, but I could surely think of a few things.”

I shook my head and made a little tsk, tsk sound under my tongue. “You stop that right now, young man.”

Pouting a little, Jeremy looked down sheepishly. “Sorry.” I nodded triumphantly and leaned back in my chair again.

“So, what are you going to do about this stranger of yours?” he asked, popping another Twiglet in his mouth.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s been such a huge part of my life. I don’t know where I would be without him. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s almost as if he’s become an old, comfortable shoe.”

Jeremy snorted. “I’m not sure he would like to hear that. He’s obviously One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest certifiable.”

I was shocked that, at only fifteen, he even knew about the movie. “And how do you know about that film?”

“I spend lots of time just sitting around. I’ve seen lots of movies, including The Bucket List. I have my own list. It’s not long.”

Feeling a little saddened, but intrigued, I leaned in closer. “Really? Would you mind sharing it with me?”

Jeremy sat and pondered this for a moment. In the end, he shrugged and dug into his pyjama pocket. “I guess so,” he answered, handing it to me. “You’ve trusted me with your big secret. I guess I can trust you.” He winked as I took the piece of paper from him.

Opening it up, I stared at the five items on the list:



To watch as many movies as I can.

Get David Tennant’s pictured autograph. 

Fly in a helicopter.

Go to Disneyland, Paris. 

Kiss Julie.





I stared at the list for a while before responding. “You have one, two, and four ticked. When did you go to Disneyland, Paris?”

Jeremy rolled his eyes a little. “I was lucky that one of the foster homes I went to had some government funding for a trip. It was a treat for eleven of us. I had a good time. At least I can say I did it.”

“Why do you want to go in a helicopter?”

His eyes suddenly lit up. “How many people do you know who have flown in a plane?”

I shook my head, trying to think. “I think everyone I know has flown in a plane at some point.”

“Okay, well, how many people do you know who have flown in a helicopter?”

Looking away for a moment, I tried to think. “I can’t recall that I know anyone who has flown in one.”

Jeremy nodded with a smug look. “Exactly.”

I regarded Jeremy for a moment. “Do you know that you’re the most interesting person I have ever met?”

Jeremy’s smug smile continued. “I take that as a compliment.”

I smiled back at him. “It was certainly meant to be one.” Thinking it was time to change the subject, I sighed. “So, tell me about Julie. When did you meet?”

Jeremy smiled and gazed off into the distance. “It was about five months ago. I spotted her outside McDonalds with a few of her friends. She looked beautiful. Ever since that day, we bump into one another now and then. We always say hi, but that’s about as far as it goes. Every time I turn to say more, my tongue gets all twisted in my mouth. It’s really annoying.”

“So you’re both aware of one another then?”

“Yes, but I think I am more aware of her then she is of me.”

Grabbing another one of his Twiglets, I shook my head. “You can never say that for sure. She could be just as tongue-tied as you.”

Jeremy shrugged again. “I suppose I will never know.”

I reared back again. “Don’t say that. You never know what life will bring you, Jeremy.”

He chuckled a little. “I know, I know. Maybe I need someone like you around. You’re apparent love of life is rather infectious. You even welcome strange men into your home. You probably occasionally even feed him.” He laughed loudly at his own joke, but then he saw I wasn’t laughing. “Holy shit. You are feeding him, aren’t you?”

Waving my hands in front of me, I told him to shush. “Stop it, Jeremy. I only feed him cookies sometimes.”

He was laughing harder now. “Cookies? That’s classic. He sounds like your pet.”

Now it was my turn to shrug. “He likes cookies.”

Jeremy slapped the bed. “Stop, stop. I think I may pass out from laughing so hard.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” I whispered to him.

Jeremy stopped laughing and placed a hand on his heart. “I swear I will not tell anyone.”

I winked back. “I know you won’t.”



*****



I actually stayed until I was exhausted. I was having so much fun, time just seemed to run away with me. I left Jeremy, letting him know that he had me as a friend for life and I was coming to visit him often, whether he like it or not. Jeremy just smiled at me and said he would like that. I was glad he gave into me in the end. I was half-expecting a fight from him, but the promise of Twiglets every time I visited won him over in the end.

I raced back to my flat as quickly as possible so I could prepare dinner. Ian wasn’t due for another hour, but I didn’t like to feel rushed. I liked everything planned out and ready in advance. I know Ian would approve of my last minute dashing. He always worked better under pressure and I hated him for it.

It was a little after seven-thirty when there was a knock on the door. I rushed over, glass of red wine in hand, and took a sneaky sip before opening the door. “Ian,” I sang.

“For me?” he asked, grabbing the wine glass and drinking it down in one gulp.

“Ian! You’re so fucking rude.”

Coming in for a quick kiss on the cheek, he lingered. “Do you know how hard you make me when you talk with that filthy mouth of yours?”

Pushing him away, I scowled. “Funny enough, it only seems to be you that brings out my filthy mouth.”

Placing his hand on his heart, he smiled. “I am honoured.” I giggled, but then he was looking in the direction of the kitchen. With a big inhale, he looked back at me. “Spaghetti Bolognaise?”

I nodded. “Yes, and no sneaking bits when I’m not looking.” He looked back at me, shocked. “Don’t give me that look, Ian. You know full well what I’m talking about. I’ve seen you.”

Ian waved his hand in front of him. “Oh well, what can I say? You make a mean Spag Bol, and because you’ve made it tonight, I think I may let you get lucky.” Ian winked at me, but I just rolled my eyes.

Ian and I had been in a position several times where we could have gone all the way…so many parties and so much fooling around. I think Ian was the only man who had seen all of me without it going further than a bit of playful banter. We had been friends for so long, we knew our boundaries. We knew when to stop. I knew that whenever Ian joked about us sleeping together, it was just that. He would never take it further than the odd grope when he got drunk. And it always seemed to stem from parties when we were both drunk. It was like the running joke that whenever we were out together, it would end up with us snogging or feeling each other up. It was a strange friendship, to say the least, but it worked. We didn’t want more than what we had because we didn’t want to spoil it. We loved each other, but not in the sense that we would get married and have babies anytime soon. Although Ian had joked that if we hit thirty and neither of us had found anyone, we would get hitched. I kind of agreed because I was drunk at the time and thought it was funny. There seemed to be a running pattern.

“So, what have you been up to the last couple of days? How did your night go last night? Did you get lucky?”

Walking towards the kitchen, I shook my head, smiling. “I did meet someone, but it didn’t go past second base.” I poured us another glass, handing Ian his.

“Do you know how boring that is?”

I gasped. “Ian, who is making you dinner here?”

He shook his head and pouted. “I’m sorry. I would just love to hear you talk about having sex with another man.”

“Pervert!” I scolded.

“I try my best,” he smiled cheekily.

“So you met someone last night and you never went past second base?” I shook my head. “What about Louisa?”

Come to think of it, she never mentioned it in her email. I think she was too excited about this party next Saturday.

“She didn’t mention it when she emailed earlier. She was too busy screaming that she had finally gotten an invite for her and a guest to attend the mansion next Saturday.”

Ian gaped at me, mouth wide open. “You are shitting me!” I shook my head. “Louisa got an invite to the mansion?” I nodded. “And she can bring a guest?” I nodded again. “Shit, what’s her number again? I want to go with her.”

I sipped my wine and smiled. To be honest, I wasn’t really bothered about going myself. It seemed everyone else was fighting over an invite. If it were my choice, I would let him go, but I knew Louisa would have none of it.

“I’m sorry, Ian. Louisa’s plus one is already taken.” I smiled cheekily at him.

“Bitch!”

Slapping him across the arm, I growled, “Hey, I can’t help it if she prefers me to you.”

Ian bit his fingernails as I stirred the Bolognaise. “Maybe I should offer her oral sex. Do you think she would take me then?”

I rolled my eyes at him and sipped my wine again. “I can’t see her going for that, to be honest.”

“Damn!”

“Don’t worry about it too much. I promise to tell you all about it.” I smiled.

“You’d better. I’m dying to find out what it looks like inside and what goes on. I heard orgies go on in there.”

I suddenly felt myself panic. “Where did you hear that?”

“John.”

My panic subsided. “John is just as sick and perverted as you are, Ian. Of course he would say something like that. He would want to twist it into something sordid.”

Turning, I reached into the cupboard and pulled out a couple of plates. Out of the corner of my eye, I spied Ian sneaking a spoonful of my sauce. “Hey, I saw that!” I scowled at him.

“Sorry,” Ian replied, not looking sorry at all. “I just can’t help myself when you cook so well.”

Shaking my head, I placed the plates down. “Go take a seat. It’s almost ready.” To my amazement, he did as he was asked.



*****



After dinner, Ian stayed for a while, laughing and joking. I told him all about my night out, and meeting Jeremy today. We watched a couple of episodes of Suits and generally “pissed about”, as he called it.

When I could feel my eyes drooping, Ian stood up. “I can tell when I’m boring someone. I get the hint. I’m going.”

I yawned. “I’m sorry, Ian. It’s been quite a hectic day.”

Ian wrapped me in a hug and whispered in my ear. “We could go into the bedroom, you know. I promise I would wake you back up again.”

Slapping him across the arm, I pushed at him back. “Ian, you better go before I kick your ass.”

He laughed. “I’d like to see you try.”

I took that as a challenge and raced to ram my foot up his backside. He soon moved out of the way. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I take that back.”

“You better.”

Picking me up, Ian gave me a genuine hug this time. “Thank you for dinner. It was fucking brilliant, as always.”

Rubbing his arm, I smiled. “Don’t mention it. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Ian opened the door and waved his hand. “You betcha.”

After shutting the door, I walked towards my bedroom. I didn’t even want to think about dishes right now. I’d do those in the morning. All I wanted right now was my bed.

When I switched on the bedside lamp on, I gasped. Sitting neatly in the middle of my bed was a flower. I didn’t know what it was, but it looked familiar. My stranger was bringing me flowers now? That was new. What was he going to do next?





Chapter 6



Dean



Revenge may be wicked,

But it’s natural.

William Makepeace Thackeray





I was sure things were going just the way I planned, what with the cookies and that fucking chump thinking he could come into my territory and take what was mine. I couldn’t let anyone spoil what Tyler and I had going at the moment.

And that’s precisely why I had to up my game. I needed to act as soon as fucking possible. So I set the wheels in motion. I felt calmer now after what happened Friday night. I wanted to murder someone, preferably Brad…the fucking numpty. Funny, really, because I was going to use Brad in my little game on Saturday. After all this, he was going to end up being my little pawn. It made me laugh a little thinking about how much he was going to look forward to this. Anybody who gets an invite looks forward to my parties.

And I was planning on making it the most memorable night of Tyler’s life.





Chapter 7



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 1994





“Dean, that’s so funny,” I giggled.

Running into the field, we were all panting after Dean’s dare. He had just buzzed on Mrs. Baxter’s door—something we seemed to do on a regular basis lately. It was her screaming after us that did it. She sounded like a cat.

Calming down, Ian turned to me when he saw I was staring at Dean. “Okay,” he said, trying to break our trance. “What you got for me?”

Pulling away from our gaze, Dean looked up to his other best friend. “I dare you to put on a blindfold for five minutes without moving.”

That was a strange one. Even Ian was looking perplexed. “Okay, easy peasy. What can I use?”

“Use this.” Dean pulled out a bandana from his pocket and handed it to Ian. Once he had it firmly in place, Dean motioned for me to come with him.

Holding out his hand, he tugged me up and off we went, running towards some trees. Crouching low, we giggled for a few seconds before calming.

“Why did you do that, Dean?”

Dean looked at me with his bright blue eyes. He was eleven now and I was only nine. I loved him, though. I loved him with all my heart.

“I just wanted to be alone with you for a few minutes.” Dean smiled, making my heart thump loudly in my ears.

Picking my hand up, he stroked it with his fingers. “You always have soft hands. I love touching them.”

Blushing, I turned my face away, but it was hard ignoring his touch. It felt really good.

“That’s what I wanted to see,” Dean said, startling me.

“What?” I asked, turning back around to face him.

Raising his hand to my cheek, he smiled. “My Rosey.”



*****



I couldn’t believe Louisa managed to rope me into this dinner function tonight. I was about to sleep in some stranger’s house, but it seemed everyone was vying for this invite. I didn’t know what went on behind closed doors, but the journalist in me was intrigued. I was also vaguely aware that I had yet to dust the cobwebs off a certain part of my anatomy. Maybe this night would be my night. Now that I wasn’t at home, my stranger couldn’t get in the way of any nookie I may feel needs to take place. My goodness, I needed the nookie.

Driving into what I can only describe as an entrance to a mansion, Louisa and I parked and couldn’t help but gawk at the place.

“Fucking hell, Louisa. What on earth kind of place is this? Who owns it?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s a total mystery. I’ve been trying for months to get an invite to this place. Then, all of a sudden, one turns up saying I could bring a friend. Of course, I had to choose you.” She smiled brightly, winking at me.

“Does anybody know who owns the place?”

She shook her head again. “I’ve been trying to find out. No one knows whether the owner is actually here when people show up. They say he is a recluse who only comes out at night.”

I frowned. “Is he related to the Great Gatsby or something?”

Louisa chuckled. “I suppose anything’s possible. I just can’t wait to get in there and have a snoop. I’m sure the journalist in you can’t wait, either.”

I was a little apprehensive about this, but smiled nonetheless. I was intrigued. Very intrigued. “Okay, then. Now that we are here, let’s go and snoop.”

Opening the car door, Louisa smiled. “Oh hell, yeah!”

Once outside the car, Louisa and I retrieved our bags from the boot, then walked up the grand staircase to the house. I wasn’t sure what it was, but this house was rather opposing. The weather was dull, which only made the house look even freakier. It looked old and grey, but grand at the same time. I was starting to wonder whether the Addams family might answer the door.

I certainly wasn’t prepared for what it looked like on the inside. After we rang the bell, we were met by a rather attractive older man sporting a rather interesting-looking moustache. He had greying hair and wore a black suit and bow tie. He smiled politely and asked if he could see our invitation and I.D. Once that was all over, we walked into the most modern hall I had ever seen. This was far from anything I expected. I thought it would look as old and imposing on the inside as it did on the outside.

Louisa gasped. “Shit. Of all the things I thought, I didn’t expect this.”

I nodded. “I thought we were going to walk in and find Lurch answering the door, and a bunch of suits of armour standing on either side of the walls.” I shuddered at the thought.

Louisa laughed, but then we were interrupted by the man who answered the door. “If you walk through this door, this is where all the guests are waiting. I shall take your bags to your rooms. Please take your keys. Miss Temple, you will be in room twenty. Miss O’Shea, you will be in room twenty-one.”

We both nodded and took the keys. “Thank you. Can you tell me if the owner will be here this evening?”

The man smiled at me. “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t. I have never met him so I cannot say.”

I highly doubted he was telling the truth, but nodded anyway.

Louisa and I stood and watched as he walked off. We were left feeling a little nervous about what we would find once that door was open.

Taking a deep breath, Louisa shrugged. “Here goes nothing, girlfriend.”

She grabbed the handle and pushed. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it wasn’t just a bunch of random people sitting around drinking and chatting. Most of the guests were men, but there were a couple of other girls sitting in chairs, eyeing us as we walked in. It made me wonder if they were another Tyler and Louisa…out of their freaking minds!

Of course, once we opened the door, all went silent and every set of eyes immediately snapped in our direction.

Like us, they were all dressed smart, but casual. At least I could breathe a sigh of relief that I had managed to wear something that could be pulled off for any occasion. For me, you could never go wrong with a little black dress. And don’t forget the high heels.

“Good evening,” one of the men said as we entered. “My name’s John, this is Jose, and the gentleman next to him is Pete. May I ask your names?”

“I’m Tyler,” I replied, offering him my hand. “And this is Louisa.”

I took a moment to regard John as he shook our hands. Every guy in here was handsome in their own right. The women were also pretty. I kind of felt a little exposed. I wasn’t sure whether this was on a list of criteria or not. What if I failed miserably in the owner’s eyes? I wasn’t sure why I even cared.

The other noticeable thing was that every one of them were either in their late twenties or early thirties. All looked like they had varying degrees of money, but none of them looked poor.

John was tall and well-built. He had dark, slicked back hair and blue eyes. He wore a white shirt with tanned chinos, and had a dimple of his left cheek when he smiled. Jose looked Mediterranean, with soft olive skin, light brown eyes, and wavy brown hair. Very nice. Pete was your average blonde, not so tall, but had a rather cheeky smile.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” I finally managed to say as I broke free from John’s grip.

“The pleasure is certainly mine.” John trailed his eyes over both Louisa and I, making us blush.

“I believe I’m missing out on the introductions.”

Everyone turned their attention to the voice behind us, and what I found nearly had me on the floor. Both Louisa and I gasped. “Brad?”

Brad smiled cautiously as he approached. I wasn’t sure whether he was still mad at me after the incident a few nights ago. “Tyler, nice to see you again. And this is Louisa, right?” Brad leaned in for a kiss on the cheek.

“That’s right. You remembered.” Louisa flicked her auburn hair, and I couldn’t help but notice Pete taking a breath at her sight. It certainly looked like she had an admirer already.

“It’s kind of my job to be as observant as I can. I don’t think that was a night I could easily forget.” Brad looked my way and I cringed a little.

“Don’t embarrass the poor girl, Brad. For fuck’s sake.” John glared at him.

Brad just shrugged and came in closer. “So, have you managed to figure out what kind of relationship you and this guy have?”

With Brad side-lining me like that, Louisa took it as her cue to carry on talking with John and the others. I did notice that Pete went muscling in there straight away. I think he wanted to stake his claim, and quickly.

“I’m not in a relationship, Brad. It’s really hard to explain, but I can tell you I’m not taken.”

Brad looked confused and I couldn’t blame him. “Are you being stalked or something? You know that’s against the law, right?”

I couldn’t help the laughter that escaped me. Brad seemed to see what it was before I could even wrap my head around it myself. I wanted to tell him, but I felt some sort of morbid loyalty to my stranger.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Brad looked at me sternly. “Tyler, if someone is breaking into your house and leaving notes like that, you need to report it to the police.”

I felt a sudden panic rise out of nowhere. “It’s fine, honestly. I’m taking care of it.” I smiled at Brad, but I didn’t think he was buying it.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a card. “I want you to take this and promise me you’ll call me if something like that ever happens again. Day or night, you can reach me. Okay?”

Taking the card, I nodded my head, but felt a little tingle at his concern for me. Suddenly, Brad looked even more irresistible than when we first met.

“I really appreciate you looking out for me. Thank you.”

Brad smiled and caressed my cheek. “I’m sorry I never stuck around long enough to hear you out. To be honest with you, I’ve been wondering for days what you meant.”

Before I could answer, I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Here you go, Tyler. A nice glass of bubbly, courtesy of the Great Gatsby.” Louisa winked and handed me the glass.

“The Great Gatsby?” Brad asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Tyler thought it up because we don’t have a clue who owns this place.”

“Who does own this place?” I looked at Brad, hoping he would be able to shed some light.

“I have no clue. I’m friends with John and he invited me. He said he’s been wanting to come for months, then an invitation turns up at his house.”

Louisa gasped. “Exactly the same as me.”

The only thing I could do was frown. “This seems weird. We’re not in a Saw movie where someone will pop out in a mask, asking everyone to hack each other’s legs off, are we?”

Both Louisa and Brad laughed. “It does sound a little strange,” he replied. “I suppose we’ll soon find out.”

Just as he said this, the sound of the door opening interrupted our conversation. Two men walked in. Again, both looked handsome, one more than the other, but I guess that was just my taste. The more appealing one had dark, spiky hair and sparkling blue eyes. He was extremely tall and muscular, with the most impressive five o’clock shadow I had ever seen. The instant I saw him, I gasped, thinking for a moment that my Dean was finally here to whisk me away.

He looked across the room and immediately spotted me, fixing me with an intense glare. It was so hypnotic, I didn’t even notice Brad had put his arm around me until he tugged me into him. I couldn’t help rolling my eyes.

Pretty soon, the intense glare was off me and he went on his way, the smaller, darker man trailing behind him. He completely passed me without a second glance and went to talk to the crowd of people in the corner of the room, including the two other girls. They practically jumped through the roof when he approached. I suppose it wasn’t my Dean after all.

“That was rude. Who was that?” I looked at Brad, John, and the others, but they all just shook their heads.

“I guess he’s just another guest,” John finally said.

“More like a pompous arse,” I huffed.

“Don’t worry about him.” Brad smiled and pulled me into him a little bit more. “We’ll keep you company.”

I smiled up at Brad as the man from earlier came in to announce that dinner was served. I had to admit, I was a little intrigued as to what we would find when we got there.

We were all ushered into a rather large room, an absolutely humungous table sitting regally in the centre. The plates, knives, forks, everything was placed neatly on the table. Bottles of champagne, white and red wine were resting neatly in the middle, as everyone took their seats. I made sure to sit next to Louisa, and Brad made sure he was sitting next to me. Pete reached out to grab the chair next to Louisa before anyone else could get the chance.

“Looks like you’ve scored,” I whispered to Louisa.

She blushed. “He is kind of cute, isn’t he? You better watch me tonight, Tyler. I may decide to get a little frisky with this one under the table.”

I chuckled. “And why not?”

Louisa nodded. “Why not, indeed.”





Chapter 8



Dean



Revenge is an act of passion; vengeance is an act of justice.

Samuel Johnson





I knew she wouldn’t fucking recognize me. It made me despise her even more. I had been watching her sucking up to that arsehole she picked up at the bar. Little did both of them know I set this whole thing up.

I shook my head, chuckling at the thought. She looked even more beautiful than I remembered. It almost made me regret planning to taint that beauty.

Almost.

I stared over when I saw Brad whispering something in her ear. She blushed a little and threw her head back in laughter. Seeing that had the visions flying through my head. Fuck, I wanted to sink my cock into her. I wanted to please her and punish her at the same time. I wanted to make it so I would give enough pleasure that she would be begging for more, but not enough that she would think I cared for her. I didn’t care for her. I wanted to see her suffer. I wanted to see her pain when she realized what she put me through. I wanted to see the fear and loathing in her eyes when she realized it was me all along. I couldn’t wait. I had been building up for that day. But, first, I still had some game playing to do. I had planned and built this up far too long to fuck up now. I had to stick with the plan and to hell with the consequences.

Getting the attention of my uncle, I whispered in his ear. Humphrey nodded and disappeared into the kitchen with a bottle of wine.

Let the games begin.





Chapter 9



Tyler





“You look stunning, Tyler. You really do.”

Brad had been drinking a little and I could tell it was heading to one place. To be honest, him stroking my cheek or my thigh didn’t help much. It was making me a horny mess. I was even starting to wonder what time we could finish this meal so I could take Brad upstairs and shag him senseless.

“Did you enjoy your chicken?” Brad asked, finally pulling away a little.

“Yes, thank you.”

From the corner of my eye, the man who answered the door came over and poured Brad another glass of wine. I thought he was coming to me next, but he completely by-passed me and went on his way. Weird.

Frowning, I shook my head and looked at Brad. “It looks as though you want something from me.”

Brad laughed. “I do. Very much. Maybe we can meet later. What room are you in?”

I shook my head. “A lady never tells,” I teased.

Brad raised his eyebrow. “Come on,” he said, nudging my shoulder.

Shaking my head, I said, “Room twenty-one.”

Leaning towards me, Brad kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, “I promise to make it a night you will never forget.”

I shuddered in pleasure. I was more than ready. I knew we would be expected to hang around for more drinks afterwards, but I wasn’t sure my loins could take much more.

Turning my attention to Louisa, I nudged her shoulder. I could see Pete already making his mark, nibbling on her ear as she giggled. “Having fun?”

She smiled and looked over in Brad’s direction. “As much as you, it would seem.”

“Touché,” I said, waving my hands. “If I went to bed a little earlier than expected, would you be mad at me?”

Louisa giggled and shook her head. “Funny enough, I was just thinking the same thing.”



*****



The plates were soon cleared and dessert was served, but I was already feeling stuffed from the first two courses. I only had soup and some chicken with potatoes, but my stomach was too busy swarming with butterflies to care about food.

By the time Brad finished his fourth glass of wine, he was looking even merrier. The fact his hand was now wandering even further up my leg told me that.

Once everyone had finished their meals, the scrapping of chairs could be heard. “Thank fuck for that,” Brad slurred. “Shall I see you in your room in about ten minutes, so it doesn’t look too suspicious?”

I nodded, grateful that he was thinking about my modesty.

Grabbing my glass of champagne, I said goodnight to Louisa and the others, then made my way upstairs to find my room. Staggering a little, I went in search of the first floor, but quickly found out they all started with a one. I found another set of stairs and proceeded up to the second floor. Once I saw number twenty, I knew I was in the right place.

I suddenly thought about the walls in the house. I hoped they weren’t so thin that both Louisa and I would hear everything going on next door.

With a shake of my head, I opened the door to my bedroom. It was a big room, with its own en-suite bathroom. The big four-poster bed was in the middle of the room, and I found my bag leaning against it. I was kind of glad I had packed some decent lingerie.

Quickly realizing I only had another few minutes, I went to work unzipping my bag, getting undressed, and trying to touch up my make-up. It was a little hard, though, as I had been drinking. I wasn’t so intoxicated that I didn’t know what I was doing. I knew I wanted this before I even started drinking.

Once everything was ready, I took a few seconds to glance at my reflection in the mirror. At least my hair still had some life left after this evening’s events. I was lucky. My hair was long, straight, and I never had to really style it. It just naturally dried and took shape.

Turning, I walked to the bedroom and proceeded to wait for Brad. I drank the last drops of my champagne and climbed into bed, pushing the sheets to the end.

Sliding my feet underneath them a little, I closed my eyes and let the feel of its comfort wash over me. The bed not only looked luxurious, it felt luxurious.

As the minutes ticked by, I lay my head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. Maybe Brad decided he didn’t want to have sex with me after all. Maybe something was just delaying him. Whatever it was, it had been twenty minutes with no sign of him. If he only realized just how ready I was for this, I’m sure he would have come a lot sooner.

After about a half-hour, I could feel my eyes growing heavy. If Brad wanted me, he should have come sooner. As the alcohol started to wear off, I was becoming tired. The fact this bed was so bloody comfortable didn’t help.

Before I knew it, I was sound asleep.



*****



Was that me who just moaned out loud? All I was aware of was someone touching me and, by fuck, it felt good. His hands were caressing my nipples, my waist, my hips— everywhere.

Shit, he was a fucking octopus, but I didn’t care if it felt this good. “Oh god!” I shouted, breathing heavily.

“Shhh,” a voice sounded from above me. “I’m here to make you feel good.”

His voice sounded so sexy all of a sudden. I should be mad that he was late coming up to my room, but right now, the way he was touching me was beyond erotic.

With a sharp push of my legs, he was on top of me in an instant. I felt how hard and how big he was as he pressed himself onto my stomach. I moaned again as he ripped my negligee apart and started ravishing my nipples. He was being kind of rough with me but, for some reason, it only heightened my arousal.

Not being able to take anymore, I pulled my head up to meet him for a kiss, but I was quickly halted by a pair of hands gripping my wrists.

“I say when you can fucking kiss me. You got that?”

What the fuck? Did he just dare to fucking bark orders at me? “Fuck you! Get off me!”

I was about kick at him, but he was too quick. Before it could even register, he ripped the rest of my negligee off and dove down towards my pussy.

He wasted no time with his tongue. It was on me within an instant, quickly halting any ideas I had about trying to stop this. How could he make me hate him and lust after him at the same time? I didn’t think Brad had it in him to be the caveman before me.

It was difficult to see. It was so dark in the room, all I could make out was an outline of a magnificent body. And, boy, was this body giving me everything I could have wished for.

With a flick of his tongue, he was driving me crazy. I had men go down on me before, but none of them had the expertise with their tongues the way this man did. It was almost as if he knew my body already, knew exactly what buttons to press.

With a tilt of my hips, he licked up and down from my clit to my pussy. I couldn’t help the moans escaping me.

“Oh god!” I shouted again.

“You like that?” he asked, growling against my leg. The vibrations of that almost had me coming.

“Yes…”

“I know exactly what you want, Tyler. I know every inch of you. Do you want me to make you come like never before?”

“Oh god, yes,” I screamed. I was already ready to blow. The way he touched me, the way he talked to me had my fires raging.

“You will come when I tell you to, and not before. You got that, Tyler?” He licked me again and my knees nearly caved. “Answer me.”

“Yes! Why are you doing this?”

“Because I own you. I own every single fucking inch of you. That’s all you need to know. And all you need to feel is me.” He licked my clit again. I didn’t know how he did it, but that just turned a switch for me.

I could feel it rising. My cheeks were getting flushed, and my body was quivering so badly, I wondered whether I could control myself once I did blow.

It was there now, right on the edge. My moans were rising higher, and my legs tensed at the impending orgasm.

Suddenly, he stopped and growled at me, “Did I give you permission to come?”

I was about to argue and tell him to go fuck himself, but he always managed to beat me to the punch. “Turn over!”

“No!”

“Tyler, turn the fuck over. I won’t ask you again.”

“No!”

With one flip of his hands, I was face down on the bed. I wanted to argue, I wanted to tell him to piss off, but my body just seemed to quiver every time he touched me.

If I thought I couldn’t get much more aroused, he suddenly slapped me. Hard. “Ouch! What did you do that for?”

I waited for him to answer, but then he pulled my hips up and thrust his cock inside of me. “Fuck!” I shouted. “Are you even wearing a condom?” He slapped my ass again. “Bastard!”

“Give me your hand.”

“No!”

“I’m getting tired of this, Tyler.” He thrust inside me again and I very nearly passed out.

“Oh god!”

“Tyler, give me your fucking hand. Do as you’re told.”

Reaching out, I felt him tug my hand towards my pussy. I instantly felt his hard cock resting inside of me. I felt around the edges and the condom.

“You happy now?” I nodded and he released my hand.

“Now, I’m going to move, but no matter how much you’ll want to come, you have to hold it. You got that? Not until I say you can.”

“Arsehole!”

With a hard thrust, he fisted my hair. “You ain’t seen nothing yet, baby.”

Before I could even argue, he started moving inside of me. With every thrust, I knew it wouldn’t be too long before the build-up came again. He felt good. Way too damn good. It was almost as if he was made for me, designed specifically for Tyler O’Shea.

I felt angry. Angry that he could treat me this way. Most of all, I was angry at myself for letting him. Angry at myself for loving every single fucking second of it.

“Oh no!” I knew it was coming, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop it.

“If you fucking come, I’ll punish you, Tyler!” he growled.

Saying that was all it took. I detonated on him, screaming and bucking underneath him. My orgasm just rained on and on, making every hair on my body stand on end. I had never experienced an orgasm like it.

“Fuck!” he moaned, as he fisted my hair tighter and pulled me up to meet him. Still pounding inside me, he pulled my head to one side and sucked me hard on the side of my neck.

It felt painful, but it somehow heightened my excitement even further as a second orgasm started rippling through me.

“Fuck, Tyler!” he shouted, then let go of my neck and thrust one more time as he came.

He soon collapsed on top of me, our breathing harsh and unforgiving. In a few moments, we fell silent. I started trying to comprehend what the fuck had just happened here. Did he really just degrade me, then gave me not one, but two fucking orgasms? I had heard of multiple orgasms, but I never thought I would ever experience it myself.

“You disobeyed me, Tyler. You will be punished for that.”

I tried turning over to give him a piece of my mind, but he had me lying on the bed in a vice-like grip. “You will go to sleep now like a good little girl.”

I had enough of this shit. It was one thing telling me what to do while having sex. It was a completely different ballgame now. “Fuck you.”

“I believed I just fucked you, Tyler. Not only that, but you had two of the best fucking orgasms anyone has ever given you. Am I right?”

I fell silent, knowing he was fucking right, and I hated him for it.

“That’s better. Not such a smart fucking mouth when you know I’m right. One day, I’ll fuck that pretty little mouth of yours.” He trailed his fingers along my lips, making my pussy come to life again.

“You want me to fuck you again, don’t you, Tyler? You want my mouth on your pussy, my tongue on your clit. You want me to bury my cock inside of you until I make you scream. Don’t you?”

“Yes,” I said, breathlessly.

“Yes what, Tyler?”

“Please.”

“I may have done it if it wasn’t for the fact you disobeyed me. I will make you come again, though. I can promise you that much.”

With a swift shift in movement, he was off me and quickly spooning me from behind. He laid gentle kisses along my back and stroked my arm until I could feel my eyes growing heavy again. I knew he was doing this on purpose so that I would fall asleep, but I just didn’t care. He felt way too good to fight it.

Feeling completely sated and relaxed, I quickly drifted off into a peaceful sleep.



*****

The next morning, I woke aching in places I’ve never ached before. My pussy was sore, which I could handle, but it was everywhere else that felt strange. Stretching my arms, I rolled my head to one side and felt the pain on the side of my neck. Grimacing, I touched where it hurt, wondering why it felt so sore.

It was then I remembered. Brad.

Swiftly turning my head, I looked at the bed. Empty. That was strange. I would have thought he would at least have stayed the night with me. It kind of upset me that he could just turn up unannounced, fuck me better than I’ve ever been fucked before, then hightail it out of my room.

When I thought about it, I wondered how he got in my room without a key. Shrugging, I tried not to dwell on that too much. Maybe he got a spare set, maybe he was just good at picking locks. He was a policeman and maybe he knew some of the tricks of the trade.

Staggering into the bathroom, I turned the shower on and went back to the mirror to tie my hair up. When I caught a glimpse of myself, I nearly screamed. No wonder my neck was sore. I had a big huge bite mark. It was so huge, I didn’t think any amount of make-up would help mask it.

In a panic, I raced into the shower and quickly washed up. Once finished, I ran towards my bag and dialled Louisa’s number. Hopefully, she would be up by now. It is after ten.

“Tyler, is that you?” Louisa asked groggily.

“I need your help, Louisa. Stat!”

“What’s the matter? Are you okay?” Suddenly, her voice didn’t seem so groggy.

“I’m fine, Louisa, but my neck… You have to help me. I think a vampire snuck in my room last night and had a field day!”

I heard her chuckling into the phone. “So we had a good night then? Is Brad with you now?”

Feeling my annoyance rise, I huffed. “No, he’s fucked off. The prick. He’s done this to me and disappeared. I’m going to give him a piece of my mind when I see him.” Or a piece of something else, I thought

I didn’t know what had come over me all of a sudden. I like to think of myself as a strong-minded woman. I left my parents’ home and their dreams of me becoming a high-profile lawyer, like they wanted, to pursue my dream in journalism. I’d never once bowed down to a man before. Ever.

“I’ll come over as quick as I can with the emergency kit.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

Hanging up, I quickly rummaged through my bag and pulled out a pair of jeans and a V-necked jumper. A fat lot of good the jumper will do, but I never dreamed I would have a life-sucking arsehole bite the hell out of me. If he wanted to leave his mark and send a message to every other man out there, I believe he had done it.

Waiting for Louisa to show up, I scanned the room. I looked everywhere for my ripped negligee, but I couldn’t find it. So, not only had he bitten me, he took my clothes? Arsehole.

If he hadn’t given me such good orgasms last night, I think I would be fuming by now.

In my musings, I almost missed the knock on the door. “Tyler, are you in there? It’s me.”

The sound of Louisa’s voice made me smile as I jumped off the bed to answer. When she saw me, she smiled, but then she looked at my neck.

“Holy fucking bat balls!”

Waving at her to calm down, I pulled her inside and shut the door. “Shh, someone will hear you.”

“I knew you said it was bad, but man. Tyler, is he some crazed super-caveman or something? Because he’s certainly staked his claim on you, my friend.”

I shook my head. “I know. It’s so fucking juvenile, isn’t it? I feel like I’m at school again and Tim Baker has come at me.” I shuddered at the thought, remembering all those years ago.

“I hear what you’re saying, but I have to ask. Was it worth it?”

My eyes widened, revealing to her that it was more than worth it. “Louisa, it was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Louisa gasped. “Shit! Really?”

“Oh hell, yes…unfortunately. He was so good that if he asked me again, I doubt I would be able to say no.”

She looked confused. “Why in the hell would you say no?”

Frowning at her, I pointed to my neck. “Look at what he’s done to me?”

“Why did you let him do it?”

I blushed a little. “He was… How can I put it? Overbearingly domineering. He told me that if I came without him telling me to, he would punish me. I guess this is my punishment.”

If I thought her eyes couldn’t widen anymore, I was wrong. “Fucking hell, Tyler! I don’t know whether I find that extremely disturbing, or extremely hot!”

Just thinking about him made me ache for him again. “I know.”

“What are you going to say to him when you see him?”

I pursed my lips, thinking about it. “I’m not sure. I’ll have to think of something. But first, could you help me clean myself up? I really don’t want people seeing me like this.”

Louisa gave me a gentle look and smiled. “Of course. Let’s get right to it, shall we?”

While Louisa was fixing my neck, she told me all about her expeditions with Pete. It would seem she had as good a time as I did. It sounds very much like Pete is smitten, and I couldn’t blame him.

“He’s asked me to go out with him again tomorrow.”

“Really? And what do you think about that?”

Louisa shrugged. “I told him I would have to see. I don’t want to seem too keen. I do like him, though. I know they say good things come in small packages. Let me tell you, it’s certainly bloody true!”

Giggling hard, Louisa set her foundation down and looked at me. “There. I think I’ve done the best I can.”

Getting up, I looked in the mirror. You could still see the faint outline of what looked like a bruise, but it was much better. “Thank you so much, Louisa. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Louisa smiled sweetly and laid her hand on my shoulder. “No sweat, Tyler. Now, it’s time to kick some ass!”

Once the laughter subsided, we went in search of Brad. All seemed quiet around the mansion, making me think everyone had gone home already.

Leaning over, I whispered in Louisa’s ear, “Considering the fact we were thinking with our loins last night, don’t you think we should try and snoop around a bit this morning?”

Louisa nodded eagerly. “Oh, yes. I still want to find out who owns this place.”

“Me, too. You’ve got me intrigued now.”

At the bottom of the stairs, the gentleman who opened the door last night appeared. “Good morning, ladies. I trust you had a good night’s sleep?”

I nodded. “Oh, yes. It was perfect.”

The man smiled, and it was almost like a knowing smile. I suddenly felt paranoid. “If you come with me, I will lead you to get some breakfast.” He motioned for us to follow him and we did so without another word.

It wasn’t long before we were at a set of doors that he pushed through. It was a big room which was brightly lit from the sun. There were small tables situated everywhere, which kind of reminded me of a dining room in a hotel. I could smell the distinct aroma of coffee, bacon, and sausages. Whatever it was, it was making my stomach growl.

“Please, take a seat and help yourself to any food and drink available.”

Louisa and I nodded, then turned our attention back to the room. I soon spotted Brad sitting at the table, his head in his hands. He didn’t look too well, and I didn’t know if I was secretly pleased with that or not.

Giving Louisa a knowing look, we marched up to his table. It would seem that everyone else was gone because Brad was the only one sitting there.

“Brad,” I demanded, once we were at the table.

He looked up, and I took a step back. He looked ill. His handsome face was drawn, red rims underneath his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept all night.

I couldn’t let this lie, though. He marked me and I needed to know why the hell he did it.

I was about to ask, but then he noticed my neck. “What in the hell happened to you?”

I huffed. “As if you didn’t know, Brad. Come on. You sneak into my room, and…”

Brad shot up, waving his hands in front of him. “Hold on, Tyler. What are you talking about? I passed out on one of the sofas. I was there all night.”





Chapter 10



Dean





I was secretly watching this whole spectacle with a smile on my face. The look of shock on everyone’s faces was a picture. In fact, I should take a photo so I could look back at it and laugh.

Grabbing my phone from my pocket, that was exactly what I did. I could only imagine what must be going through her head. It would eat away at her all day, trying to figure it out.

Thinking about it had my cock springing to life. I knew that sinking my dick into her again would feel good, but I never thought it would feel that good. I was in control until she came, then I fucking lost it. I couldn’t let her do that to me again. I couldn’t let her gain control. I had to fight her fucking powers before she consumed me. I only had her once, but couldn’t wait to have her again. I’ll play with her for a while, then do something that will frighten and shock the life out of her.

Picturing her panicking made the laughter erupt inside of me. The first game was set. After last night, I knew she would be craving more. I would certainly give that to her. I would be as obliging a lover as I can be without giving her what she truly desired in the end.

She would want me to kiss her. She would want me to hold her all night so she felt a connection with me. I would make it so that she would seek me out in the dark. I would be the one that satisfies her ultimate fantasy. A stranger who sneaks into her room. Someone who gives her the ultimate pleasure, but also seeks to give her the ultimate pain. Pain she’s never had to endure. Pain that would eat away at her until there was nothing left.

She was my nemesis, I was her lotus. And payback was a bitch.





Chapter 11



Tyler





I wanted to think maybe Brad was either lying or couldn’t remember what he did last night, but seeing the way he looked told me otherwise. My first reaction was that I couldn’t move. My second reaction was to grab a coffee and think. Maybe once I had a drink, I would be able to think clearly and come up with a solution as to what in the hell happened to me last night.

I walked over to the coffee pot, a shocked Louisa and a stunned Brad following me.

Pulling on my arm, Louisa leaned in to whisper, “If Brad wasn’t the one to give you the best sex you ever had, who was?”

“What are you whispering about?” Brad asked. “Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?”

I looked at both of them and shook my head. “I honestly don’t know.” I was answering both their questions because I really didn’t have a clue.

“Well, tell me this,” Brad said. “Who did that to your neck?”

I looked timidly away and poured myself a coffee. “I thought it was you.”

Turning back around, I saw Brad’s eyes open wide. “I know I can’t remember anything about last night, but I certainly wouldn’t do that to you. I would never mark you like that.” Rubbing his head in confusion, Brad sat down on the nearest chair. “I swear I wouldn’t do that to you.”

I could see his confusion, and could tell he was starting to doubt himself. He was a little out of it last night.

Somehow, though, I knew it wasn’t him last night. I didn’t know Brad that well, but I could tell he would never hurt me like that. The way he kissed me that night after the bar told me that much.

In my haze, I suddenly found myself looking around the room to see if I could spot anything out of the ordinary. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but the paranoia was setting in big time.

With a snap of his head, Brad looked up at me with concern. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Oh, shit. He thinks he did this to me.

Feeling I needed to diffuse this situation as quickly as possible, I walked over to him and rubbed his shoulder. “Brad, you were fine last night. Honestly. I had a brilliant time.”

I looked at Louisa and she smiled. “Brad, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I can tell you that Tyler is feeling rather good this morning.”

He looked up at me, hope in his eyes. “Really? I didn’t hurt you?”

I shook my head. “No, Brad. You never hurt me.”

Everyone seemed to calm a little…everyone but me. I knew for a fact I was going to stew about this all day. I was trying to figure out who could’ve gotten into my room. He knew my name, so it must have been someone I introduced myself to.

I thought about John and Jose, but I couldn’t picture their accents from last night. Jose had a slight Mexican or Spanish sound. John had a slight Scottish accent. The man from last night had a hint of London. He wasn’t cockney, but he wasn’t posh by any means, either. His voice was rough, commanding, territorial, and damn sexy. The thought of him both excited me and frightened me to death. I wanted him again, needed him again. I hoped he would come to me again. It sounded sick, but I couldn’t get him out of my mind. The way he touched me, the way he caressed me with enough edge that he wouldn’t hurt me. I know he marked me, but it felt erotic that he was staking his claim on me. It was almost as if he was telling the world I was his and, for some unfathomable reason, I wanted it to be true.

“Are you ready to do some snooping?”

Louisa’s voice stopped my daydreaming. “Sure, why not.” Placing my toast on the plate, I got out of my seat.

Brad still looked ill, and I couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. “Are you okay, Brad? Can I get you anything?”

Brad laughed. “I did that to you, and you’re asking me if I’m okay? I’m supposed to be an officer of the law who catches bad people, not become one myself.”

I pulled Brad into my arms. He stiffened, then wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace.

“Brad, please don’t worry yourself over this. You did nothing wrong. What if I told you I asked you to do this to me?”

Abruptly, he pulled away. “Did you?”

I nodded, but felt the heat flush my cheeks. “I believe I did,” I lied. I couldn’t send Brad home feeling the way he did.

With his expression changing, I knew he was feeling better. “You know, you’re rather sexy when you blush.” He pushed his groin into me to make that point.

“Really?” I asked with a timid smile.

Brad nodded and came in for a kiss.





Chapter 12



Dean





I don’t know what came over me just then, but the sight of Brad wrapping his arms around her and kissing her had rage rushing through my veins. She wasn’t his to claim. She was mine. I owned her, and she should fucking realize that by now.

The thought had my fists clenching. I could feel my fingers digging into my skin. My heart was pumping, and my head was swimming with rapid visions of me sinking my cock and my teeth into her. I almost lost it. I almost ruined everything and ran out there to claim her as mine. It was a stupid, idiotic thought, and I knew that. But this woman brought out the worst in me every time. I wanted to take her, possess her, dominate her, ruin her. I wanted to ravish her, please her, consume her until I couldn’t take much more.

With the rage still pumping, I quickly noticed something…something I didn’t notice before because I was too busy filling myself with rage.

She didn’t want him. Her body language said it all. She even stiffened slightly when he leaned in to kiss her. It was unnoticeable to anyone else, but I distinctly saw it.

When he pulled away, she smiled awkwardly at him.

It was then that my rage calmed. It was then that my hands relaxed. It was then that my heart slowed and my jaw unclenched.

Then I realized something about her. I had been studying her far too long now not to know how she felt. I knew everything about her. From the shadows, I watched as she dressed, ate, brushed her teeth, even played with herself. I knew what made her tick. I knew exactly how she wanted and needed pleasing. And I was going to make damn sure I gave that to her.

I definitely could tell what she was thinking about. To put it in one simple word: me. I would stake my wealth, my life, you name it on that fact. She had that same glint in her eye when she thought about me as she was writing notes down about what I had done that day. It was the same glint I always used to see when we were younger. My plan had worked and I knew she would never turn me away.

She wanted me and I would not disappoint her. I would come to her a lot sooner than she thought. I needed to feel her anyway. I needed to enforce my will, degrade her, and ravish her with everything I had.

Tyler O’Shea would not know what hit her.





Chapter 13





Tyler





It was so strange. I wanted Brad before, but after last night, I couldn’t get whomever visited me out of my head. It was almost as if he knew me from the inside out already. He was a master in anything erotic. The thought of it just had the burn rising through me again.

“I’m going to head home now. I still don’t feel well.”

I smiled and nodded. “That may be a good idea.”

“Listen, you have my card, right?”

I frowned, trying to remember what I did with it. “Hold on a sec. Let me go check.”

I rushed up the stairs before Brad could reply and went through all my things. I couldn’t find his card anywhere. Biting my lip, I tried to remember where it was. I thought I placed it on the bedside table. Whatever I’d done with it, it was gone. Maybe I dropped it on the way up.

With a shake of my head, I went downstairs where Brad is waiting. He looked so ill, he probably couldn’t wait to get home. “I can’t seem to find it anywhere,” I told him.

Brad frowned, but then reached into his pocket and pulled out his card. “Here’s another one. As I said, it’s got my number and email address on it. Next time you want to see me, just give me a call. It would be nice to take you on a proper date.”

I saw a hint of shyness in Brad, and it was then that I definitely knew he wasn’t the one who came to me last night.

Taking the card from his hand, I smiled. “That would be nice.” With a swift hug and a kiss on the cheek, we said our goodbyes.

“He doesn’t seem the type,” Louisa said, making me jump.

“Sorry?”

She shrugged. “He doesn’t seem the type to do all those things in the bedroom.” She paused a minute, then smiled. “Mind you, it’s always the quiet ones that you have to watch out for, though.”

Something caught Louisa’s eye as she turned toward the stairs. “Speaking of which…”

Looking over, I saw Pete rushing down. “I’ve been looking for you,” he said, rather breathlessly. “I wondered where you could have gone in such a hurry.”

“Tyler had an emergency that we needed to take care of.”

Pete looked me over, his eyes quickly landing on my neck. He winced. “Did a vampire visit you last night or something?”

I smiled cheekily. “With the evidence on my neck, I think you already know the answer to that question.”

Thank goodness it was the end of autumn because I knew I would have to wear some high-neck tops if I were to ever get away with concealing what he had done to me. I should have been scared and hopping mad but, for some reason, all I could think about were those two orgasms he gave me. All I could think about was how much I wanted him again—whoever he was.

Pete smiled at me, but wanted his attention on someone more important. His gaze very quickly drifted to Louisa, looking her up and down a heated glint in his eyes. “I was hoping we could have gotten even better acquainted this morning,” Pete purred as he grabbed hold of Louisa’s waist.

Timidly, Louisa looked over at me, but all I did was smile and roll my eyes. “Maybe I should take a walk around and leave you two lovebirds alone for a bit.”

I could see Louisa was about to protest, but Pete was faster. He had his lips locked on her so fast, she barely had time to breathe. With a shake of my head, I proceeded to look around the place. I didn’t know whether I would be able to get into any of the rooms, or even get past Mr. Butler if he showed up this morning. Whatever happened, I was determined to have a look around before we left. I needed to find out more about this mysterious Mr. Gatsby guy. I looked up the stairs and thought if there ever was a good way to start, it was from the top.

So I headed up the stairs.





Chapter 14



Dean





It was hard not to laugh at Tyler trying to sneak her way around my house. She was determined, I’ll give her that, but she was never going to find anything. This was my house, but I didn’t live here. I just used it on occasion to host parties and fuck girls I selected. I did my homework before I slept with someone. I couldn’t just fuck anybody. I had needs like any other man, but I would never sleep with just anybody. I had selective taste when it came to women. Strangely enough, if it wasn’t for what Tyler did, I would never have entertained the idea of sleeping with her. She wasn’t very elegant. She didn’t hold herself very well. She was extremely clumsy at times, and had a potty mouth that would make any man cringe. I don’t do potty mouths.

The other thing about Tyler was she’s smaller than what I normally went for. She was a blonde, I normally went for brunettes. She was curved, I normally went for athletic women. She was everything in a woman that I didn’t desire, but I can’t fucking get the woman out of my head now that I had a taste of her. She didn’t help her cause by fucking with my head all those years ago. I made a point of never going anywhere near anyone that remotely resembled her. She truly was a witch in sexy high heels. A devil-woman who had haunted me since I was a young, naïve, stupid lovesick kid.

Yet I sat there watching her, without her knowledge, and I couldn’t help the way my dick twitched at the sight of her rounded ass as she bent over to take a look in one of my drawers. It was just there, fucking teasing me with its big, juicy cheeks ready for me to fucking take a bite out of. What I wouldn’t give to push her head into the wall and fuck her senseless. And she would love every fucking minute of it. I bet she was even waiting for me now. I bet even now, as she looked around the room to see if anyone was watching her, she was wondering if I’d appear and give her the fucking she truly desired.

I wanted to push my limits with her. I wanted to feel her pleasure. I wanted to feel her fear and her pain. I wanted to take as much as I could from her before destroying everything she held dear. She was a selfish, manipulative person who didn’t deserve happiness. She didn’t deserve to feel joy. She didn’t deserve to feel me but, just for a little while, she had me. Once I’d used her up and spat her out, I would go back to my life, but Tyler O’Shea? I would ruin her. I would take her apart piece by piece so that she’d never be able to mend herself.

I couldn’t help the smile that crept up on my face as Tyler’s shoulders dropped in defeat. She jumped a bit when she heard a noise, and I could tell her heart was racing against that perky chest of hers. In a sense, she was a marvel to watch. She had these certain idiosyncrasies which both annoyed and fascinated the hell out of me. She bit her fingernails when she was nervous—filthy, disgusting habit. She picked at her food a little too delicately. I know it was because she didn’t like to get her fingers dirty, but it drove me nuts. And the fucking killer was I couldn’t seem to help myself. I just sat there, glued to her every fucking move, like it was some kind of compulsion.

I shook my head, trying hard not to watch her. I didn’t need to watch her because I knew she would never find anything. I worked hard to cover all my tracks. What Tyler didn’t know about my family was we were wealthy. When my parents had me, they wanted as normal a life as possible. We moved and settled into a quiet life so they could give me as normal an upbringing as they could. But things changed one day and we had to move. My father was never one to dabble in the ordinary. Let’s just say that most of his earnings were never very legal. I kind of had my hunches, but never really knew until that day we had to move suddenly. All I was told was my father had a job up in Scotland and we had to move as quickly as possible. At first, I didn’t want to leave Tyler. It absolutely fucking killed me. But I went, as the dutiful son should, with the promise to come back to her. But it was once we had settled in a couple of months later and I wanted to come back for her that my parents told me about the letter sent to their enemy. I didn’t think Tyler knew, let alone betrayed me in that way. I simply had to go, I had to see it for myself. What she didn’t realise was I actually did go back, and it was then that I saw it. She fucked with my head so badly, I wouldn’t have cared whether I saw her again or not. But then my stupid, pathetic self pined for her. I pined so much, it caused arguments with my mum and dad. One night, it got so bad, I ran away. Then it happened. That was the night my parents were killed. It was that night that changed everything for me.

Shuddering, I looked away from Tyler in disgust. Every time I thought about it, I felt the anger rise like an unseen force. It just gripped me and took me by surprise, and there was only one thing I could do when I felt this way. It was time to hit the gym. I had to be focused tonight. I had a plan of action, and I had to make sure it went according to plan.

Time for the games to begin.





Chapter 15



Tyler





I felt deflated. There was nothing here. I could feel myself pouting as I stepped to the door. I wasn’t sure what room I was in, but it looked like an office. Everything in this house screamed old-fashioned, especially with its mahogany walls and high, decorative ceilings. All you could see for miles were very old, very expensive furnishings. The desk alone looked like it cost as much as I made in a year, maybe two.

As I stared briefly at the David head statue on the far side of the room, I pondered who on earth could live here. For some reason, I couldn’t see this infamous Mr. Gatsby guy as being as old as all these relics made him seem. Although everything around me screamed maturity, I had this feeling that he was quite young. It may have been the fact that all the people at the party seemed to be around my age. It may have had something to do with the fact I couldn’t imagine a very wealthy fifty-something having parties and lurking in the shadows, instead of being the host he should be.

Shaking my head, I put one foot in front of the other, only to hear a noise that stopped me dead in my tracks. Whatever it was, I had this sudden urge to either flee or jump, like an action film, towards the back of the desk. However, all I could do was stand there like an idiot, ready to face whatever could be behind that door.

No one came in, though, so I shrugged and made my way out the door and down the stairs so I could find Louisa. Hopefully Pete would have let her go by now. As I got to the bottom of the steps, a sound alerted me. It was muffled, like grunting. It sounded like it was coming from the basement, but I couldn’t tell. Like always, my intrigue got the best of me and I made my way down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, there was a closed door, but I knew there was someone behind it. The sounds were almost animalistic. It was frightening, but erotic at the same time.

In that brief moment, I wondered whether I would be brave enough to take a peak. I couldn’t be certain, but it sounded distinctly like someone was boxing. With my heart beating rapidly and my throat dry, I grabbed the door handle.

It was then that my heart shot into my mouth at the feel of someone’s hand on my shoulder. “Miss, you can’t go in there.”

Jumping, I swung around to find the butler staring at me with an unimpressed glare. It was also then that there was silence coming from the other side of the door. Whoever was in there must have heard us.

“I’m so sorry. I was just trying to find a toilet.”

I inwardly cringed. Way to go, Tyler. That wasn’t an obvious lie at all.

Looking in the direction of the stairs, he turned back to me. “If you go up these stairs, there is a door to your immediate right. That is where the toilet is.”

I took that as my cue to leave and did so as graciously as possible, my tail between my legs. As I got to the top, I briefly turned and saw that the butler had disappeared. He must have gone into the “grunting” room.

“There you are, Tyler. I’ve been looking for you.”

Louisa’s voice made me jump as I spun around. Everything was making me jump this morning. It may have had something to do with the fact I knew I was snooping.

“Hey, Louisa. Has Pete finally let you go?”

She laughed as her cheeks reddened a little. “Yes. We’ve said our goodbyes. Seen anything good?”

I knew Louisa would have been eager to come with me earlier, but sometimes your loins win out. They certainly did for me last night.

“Nah,” I stated with a shake of my head. “Not a damn thing. I looked in every drawer I could and couldn’t even find a single piece of paper. It’s almost as if this place is a museum, rather than a home.”

Louisa sighed a little. “Oh well. Maybe I’ll get the dirt on this elusive guy one day, but it doesn’t look like today is going to be my day. Are you ready to get going?”

I nodded. “Yep. Let’s go before the butler comes in.”

Within ten minutes, we were packed and placing our bags into Louisa’s boot. It was raining and I hated the rain but, for some reason, I was ready to curl up in my jim-jams, eat lots of chocolate, and watch the reruns of Suits. I loved Suits, especially Harvey. He could be my lawyer any day. Harvey could be anything he wanted to me any day. He was just so damn delicious.

“Are you daydreaming about him?”

My gaze drifted to Louisa. “Actually, I was just thinking that today would be the perfect day to curl up on the sofa, pig-out, and watch TV.”

Louisa stared ahead, but smiled. “Hmmm, okay…,” she giggled.

“Are you seeing him again?”

Louisa frowned a little. “Who? Pete?”

“Nah, the butler guy. He was kinda hot.”

We both giggled a little as Louisa continued to stare ahead. “I’ve given him my number. It’s up to him to call now. I have a feeling I’ll be hearing from him soon, though.”

Louisa smiled, then we both fell silent again. I started to wonder whether I would hear from my elusive caller from last night. I felt kind of disgusted with myself for letting a complete stranger into my room to do all those lovely, erotic things to me. But, then again, whoever it was tricked me. He didn’t say who he was in the beginning, so I assumed it was Brad. But having said that, did this stranger realise that himself? I could never know for certain. All I knew was that whoever it was gave me the best sex I’ve ever had. And I was just itching for more.





Chapter 16



Dean



Man must evolve, for all human conflict,

A method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation.

A foundation for such a method is love.

Martin Luther King, Jr.





When I heard her at the door, all my muscles tensed. I was working out, giving that punching bag all I had. Trying to ease the tension from this morning was working. With every punch, I felt more focused, more determined. Then I heard her. She was at the fucking door and could have blown everything if she had turned that handle. Luckily, Humphrey was on the ball and managed to catch her before it was too late.

Then she was gone. My uncle had managed to get her out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind. I could get back to working out. It just meant I had to start my regime all over again. I needed to punch until my lungs ran out of air. I needed to carry on until all my muscles cried out in pain. I had to rid myself of the memory of her from last night. The way she felt when I was inside her. The way her hair caressed my arm so gently that it made my body shudder. I didn’t want her affecting me that way, but it seemed she was just as fucking toxic as she was thirteen years ago. She was seeping into my pores, entering my head, and the last thing I needed was for her to think she had a way into my heart. She would only find coldness there. The ice there would sting her. For her, it would be unbearable to the touch. I was not a nice man. I didn’t do relationships. I wasn’t the lovey-dovey, make-yourself-sick-to-the-stomach cuddly kind of guy. I could have been once. I could have given everything to Tyler if she had let me. Not now, though. Not after what she did. I toughened myself up. I had to. After what happened all those years ago, I had no other choice.

“Dean, I don’t think it was a good idea letting her come here.” Humphrey stood there, tall and straight. Although he was in his late fifties, he was surprisingly sturdier then he seemed. He was tall, just a couple of inches shorter than me. His hair was greying and he sported a little moustache which curved up at the edges. He reminded me of Terry-Thomas because he looked just like him. Of course, Humphrey realised that and got annoyed when I’d call him by that name. He got even angrier when I called him an old man. He called me names, too, so I guess we’re even on that score.

All dressed up, he looked every bit the part he played. It was Humphrey who suggested he play the butler. He had been a constant presence, especially in the last thirteen years. I owed him a lot. The only problem was he did take his role here a little too seriously. He even joked at times and called me Master Wayne. I was no superhero, though. I was the villain, and my nemesis was Tyler.

“It was necessary, Humphrey. I needed her to feel comfortable.”

“By pretending you were someone else so you could fuck her? I don’t think that would be a very comforting thought.”

I stopped punching and looked at Humphrey. “If I would have gone to her in her own room at her own home, she would have freaked. I had to make sure she was ready for me. By tonight, she’ll know who entered her room last night. I’ll make fucking sure of it.”

I carried on punching and Humphrey left me alone. He knew I didn’t like being disturbed when I was down there.

After another half-hour, I was done. My muscles were burning, my breath was coming in short bursts. I stood in front of my mirror, studying my frame. I was built for this sport. Built for any fucking shit who wanted to cross me. And many had wanted to cross me. If I learned anything in life, it was that having money attracted unwanted attention. Especially when it involved some lowlife from my father’s past who had lost everything and thought he could come to me to take what the fuck he wanted. I wasn’t a fucking charity, and I wasn’t a fucking pushover.

Unwinding the tape from my hands, I watched as the tattoo of a lotus flower danced on my shoulder. It was the second tattoo I had ever gotten. I’d gotten several since, but the first one I will always remember for reasons which now make me sick. I was only eighteen when I had it done, getting piss-assed drunk before I went in. I might be tough, but I have never been a fan of needles. Call it my one weakness. The only thing was I couldn’t afford to be weak. That was why I went back several times and got several more tattoos. I needed to break myself of that one fucking phobia. That way, nobody could get to me. I was invincible.



*****



A little after midnight, I knew it was time to get going. Tyler, if I knew anything about her, would be sound asleep in her bed. She was like clockwork—a little bit too predictable.

Once I got to her car park, I smiled. I didn’t think she had been anywhere today, but her car was pulled, just like it always was, into the space. I had to break her out of that habit. If you were ever in an emergency, getting away as quickly as you could was paramount. Trying to get away as quickly as possible in a car that wasn’t backed into the space was impossible. Trying to shuffle your way out just wasted too much time. Call me a little OCD, but that was me. It was just common sense.

So, I did what I normally did and backed my car into the usual spot and got out. It was a typical, quiet Sunday, people readying themselves for the work week. When I got to Tyler’s car, I fished her keys out of my pocket. I had always made sure I kept a spare key. With easy access to her home, I had everything at my fingertips. I must admit, I thought it would be a lot harder to integrate myself into her life the way I did. I figured I could just play on her fantasy, the one Justin told me about over a drink one night. It wasn’t hard getting the information out of him. Everything about him screamed desperation. He wanted friends, no matter how pathetic he looked. He was eager to please, and I was eager to keep plying him with drink, as long as I got what I needed from him.

Smiling and shaking my head, I got into Tyler’s car and did what I had to do. It was something that had to be done, no matter how much I wanted to get to her.

After reversing her car into her spot, I got out and locked the door. I walked a few paces and found my usual entrance in. I was the only one who used this entrance.

You see, the thing about me was that I had been planning this whole thing for years. Tyler was my puppet and I was pulling all the fucking strings. I owned this building she lived in, and I made sure she couldn’t refuse. It was the lowest rent for something so nice in this area. I knew she would want to be close to work, so I used it to my advantage. I had every key for every apartment, but I was only interested in entering one.

Once I got to the top floor, I turned right to Tyler’s door. There was only two other apartments on this floor and both of them were empty. I couldn’t risk being caught by someone. Plus, it was handy knowing I had somewhere to escape to quickly if things got a little out of hand in her flat. If she would ever chase after me, I would be able to enter the other flat as quickly as possible. Besides, she would never dream I would be right next door. The first place she would look would be the fire escape or the lift, both of which were away from the apartment doors.

With the key to her flat in my hand, I entered and held my breath. These moments always had my heart pounding, no matter how many times I did it. It wasn’t because I was frightened. I could handle Tyler if I had to. It was just such an adrenaline rush knowing I was doing something I shouldn’t be. Tyler needed to be punished after disobeying me last night. Tonight was about teaching her a lesson. Tyler was about to enter Lotus’ classroom.





Chapter 17



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 1995





I heard tapping at my window. Lately, Dean had been climbing up to my window and sneaking into my room while my mum and dad were downstairs. He would never stay long, but I always enjoyed his company.

I had to smile to myself as I got off the bed to open my window. I was ten and Dean was twelve. He and Ian were still my best friends, but in a completely different sense. Dean and I were closer—much closer. I didn’t know what it was, but I felt things around Dean that I never felt with Ian. Things I never felt with anybody.

As I opened the window, I looked down at Dean with a smile. He looked really nice with his hair all spiky and his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

When he saw me, he did his usual thing of waving me back so he could climb into my window. He was becoming an expert at it.

“Where are your parents?” he asked as he pulled one leg in after the other.

“They’re downstairs watching Law and Order,” I whispered back. It was their favourite show, so I knew we would be okay for at least the next forty-five minutes.

“Good,” he smiled. “I brought some Gobstoppers with me. Let’s see who can talk first after chewing one of these bad boys.” He started laughing and my heart sped up. It was such a strange reaction, but one I was used to by now. I didn’t need a Gobstopper to stop me from talking. Just looking at Dean did it.

“Does your mum and dad know you’re here?” I asked, as Dean tried to open the packet.

“Of course they do. They think you’re my girlfriend.”

Gasping, I held my hand over my mouth. “They don’t, do they?”

Dean looked up at me, a confused look on his face. “Would it be that bad to think other people thought that?” His face looked sad and I hated that look on Dean.

“No, I don’t care what people think. It’s just, well… We’re just friends, right?” I bit my lip and Dean noticed straight away.

He smiled. “Of course we are.” I sighed in relief and Dean carried on, opening the packet, “But you’ll be my girlfriend one day.”



*****



I could feel him stroking my arm again. It was so tender and erotic, I couldn’t help but moan.

“Tyler,” he whispered into the dark. “Tyler, it’s time to wake up and receive your punishment for disobeying me last night.”

I woke with a start, panicking in the darkness. “Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered in my ear as he sat beside me. “I’m only here for pleasure, Tyler. Always pleasure.”

“It’s you? My stranger?”

He trailed a finger down my arm, making me shiver. “Yes.”

I should have been scared. I should have been screaming but, for some reason, I was rooted to the spot. In the end, I had my suspicions about what happened last night, but I put it down to me just being paranoid. It was my stranger who came to me last night. It was my stranger who fucked me, made his mark, and left without a trace.

“You marked me.”

I felt his nose trail up and down the base of my neck as he circled my breast with his finger. Within an instant, my nipples reacted to his touch, just bursting for him to feel them.

“It was necessary to let everyone know who you belong to. Who do you belong to, Tyler?”

His finger was suddenly there, brushing up against my nipple as I caved into his touch. I’m not sure what kind of power this man possessed, but all he had to do was open his mouth and the fires burned like nothing before. I couldn’t understand how he could make me feel this way. I didn’t even know what he looked like, but something was telling me he was powerful, raw, tough, and so fucking sexy. My body insisted on telling me this. It was the only thing that gave me away to him every time he touched me.

“I don’t belong to anyone,” I managed in a shaky voice.

My stranger giggled into my neck, making me shiver again. His hands were masterful as he caressed every inch of me. He seemed to know exactly what parts made me go crazy.

It wasn’t long before his hand trailed from my breast to my pussy. He tenderly stroked my clit before pushing a finger inside me. I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped me.

“So ready for me already, aren’t you, Tyler? You may deny me, but your body doesn’t. Your body gives you away every time. It wants me to touch it. It wants me to send it to fucking heaven. Isn’t that right, Tyler? Do you want me to send you to heaven?”

I couldn’t help the moan that escaped my lips as he brushed his thumb against my clit. His arm was strong and straining against my entrance. As I caressed my hand across his arm, I felt every muscle, every tweak, and every flex as he pushed his finger deeper. “Yes,” I gasped breathlessly, unable to hide my desire.

“I can show you all there is to know about desire, about need. I can show you the world if you let me, Tyler. I can show you just how fucking good it feels. I can make your dreams come true, fulfil every fantasy. Would you like that, Tyler?”

His thumb brushed my clit again as his lips found the base of my neck. He was pushing every one of my buttons. “Yes,” I said, unable to hide how fucking turned on I was. I didn’t know this guy, but that only heightened my desire for him.

It wasn’t long before his beautiful onslaught started taking its toll on my body. I could feel the build-up, feel the climb as my orgasm was about to rip me apart at the seams. My stranger seemed to sense my impending explosion, and sped up. This was only our second encounter, but he seemed to know my body.

I could feel it even harder now. It was coming thicker and faster as his movements sped up. I was going to go at any minute and I knew it was going to be beautiful.

But just as my moans were about to escape my lips, releasing me of my climax, he stopped. “No!” I screamed, unable to hide my disappointment.

“Shh,” he replied, holding a finger to my lips. “Remember when I said I was going to fuck that pretty mouth of yours?” He trailed his finger over my lips, making me taste the evidence now on his hand. “Do you?” he asked again, nibbling my ear. I nodded. “Well, I suggest you take that pretty mouth of yours and suck my cock.”

I didn’t know why, but he demanding I suck him made me more turned on than I have ever been. I wanted to suck him, but I also wanted to feel my release so bad that it was burning me from the inside out.

“Will you finish what you started if I do?” He nodded. “Okay.”

Holding my arm, he manoeuvred himself to the edge of the bed. “Now,” he said, pulling me up. “Get down on your knees.”

I was standing there and got to see him properly for the very first time. He was wearing a hoodie so I couldn’t see him very well, and he was so careful in the way he guided me, I couldn’t possibly see his face. I wonder what I would see if he let me? It all fascinated me so much, I instantly thought of Beauty and the Beast. Not that I’m saying I’m beautiful, but it was the similarities in this little game he liked to play. I could tell he was strong, I could tell he was definitely all man, and I could tell he liked to keep fit. I only had to touch him to realise that.

As I kneeled down in front of him, he glided his trousers down his hips. They were not fully down, just enough for me to take him into my mouth. He sprung free, fully erect and ready for me. It only excited me more to know that I turned him on as much as he did me.

Grabbing my hair forcefully, but gently, he guided me down to the tip of his cock. It was so big, I almost moaned in pleasure.

It wasn’t long before I slipped my tongue out and trailed it around the tip of his cock. My stranger stiffened, but breathed out his appreciation. I licked all the way down and back up again before licking the top of his cock again. With one push of my head, he made me take all of him into my mouth. It almost made me gag, but I held strong.

“That’s good, Tyler. So fucking good,” he cooed. I could have told him to go fuck himself after that stunt, but his praise halted me in my tracks. I wanted to please him. I wanted to give him the pleasure he gave me. Call it sick, but I craved it just as much as his touch.

With his hand in my hair, my stranger guided me down again, keeping it at a steady pace. I let him guide me.

With a flick of my tongue, I lapped him up like he was the best fucking lollipop on earth. He moaned, which just made me want to go that much faster.

“Steady there, Tyler. I don’t want to come too quickly. Your mouth is so fucking good, I want to savour it as long as I can.”

It was hard not to want to keep going at a fast pace. Just having him underneath me like this and moaning made me feel like I had the upper-hand. I didn’t, of course, because I was on my knees. Even with his dick in my mouth, he still wanted to assert his level of authority.

I pulled my mouth back up, slightly grazing my teeth against his shaft before sinking down on him again. He hissed through his teeth and the noise had the ache burning between my legs. I wanted him inside me. I didn’t know why I felt that way because I knew nothing about him. He totally had the authority and, for some unknown reason, I was loving every single minute of it.

“Tyler, you’re going to make me come if you keep doing that. If you don’t want it to be in your mouth, I suggest you stop.”

I should have stopped. I should have pulled away. But every single word that came out of his mouth just made me want to keep going. So I quickened my pace. I could feel his grip tightening in my hair, but he was letting me set the pace now. He was so close to losing it, which just kept me going.

“Fuck, Tyler. I’m going to...” His growl radiated around the room as I felt his hot semen shooting down the back of my throat. I took him all in as I felt his body tense.

As I eased him out of me, I licked my lips, feeling the relief from the ache of having his large cock in my mouth. And he was bigger than I’m normally used to.

“I knew that pretty mouth of yours would feel good, but I wasn’t prepared for how fucking fantastic it would actually be.” My stranger stroked my hair to emphasise his point. “Get back on the bed and spread your legs,” he commanded.

I didn’t hesitate. I was ready for him. I could still feel the charge running through me from my near-orgasm earlier.

With his hand held out to help me up, I climbed onto the bed as he zipped his trousers up. “Good girl. That’s it. Spread your legs a little. Hmmm, perfect,” he hummed as I did as I was told. I just couldn’t seem to get enough.

My stranger stood there for a while, his haunting black gaze coming from underneath his hood. I still couldn’t see his face. I still couldn’t tell whether he was happy, sad, angry. All I could see was this beautiful outline of a man who was so big and so strong that seeing him just took my breath away.

I lay there naked, waiting for him to come to me, waiting for him to please me just like he did the night before. I was itching for him with such intensity, I thought I would burst.

After a few seconds of gazing at me, he made his move. I thought he would slide those big, strong fingers up my thigh. I thought he would fuck me with his fingers, lick me with that delectable tongue of his until I came apart around him. But he didn’t do any of that. Instead, he just turned away from me and headed out the door.

For a minute, I thought I was going crazy. Maybe he was fetching something. Maybe he was in the kitchen and getting a knife because he had gotten what he wanted and now he would murder me. That thought scared the hell out of me.

Finally finding my courage, I moved off the bed and tiptoed into the living room. Why I was tiptoeing in my own fucking apartment, I have no idea. I searched the living room and the kitchen. I made sure all my knives were still present. Nothing seemed out of place.

It was then that I realised he was gone. It was then that I realised he had duped me. What a fucking bastard! He worked me up until near-orgasm, made me go down on him, then fucked off. Who did he think he was?! “Fucking arsehole!” I shouted into thin air. Yes, I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I was just so hopping mad that he would do something like that to me.

It was at that moment, standing in the living room naked, I started replaying everything in my head. What was it that I did so wrong that he would play me? “Tyler, it’s time to wake up now and receive your punishment for disobeying me last night.”

Shit, why didn’t I take in what he said to me when I first found him on my bed tonight? Why did it not fucking register? I thought him marking me was my punishment, but no. He had to take it one step further and play me. Well, if he thinks I’m going to bow down to him again, he has another thing coming.

Storming back into my room, I felt something underneath my feet. What was that?

Turning the light on, I saw what was on the floor. I picked up the little pieces of paper and studied it for a moment. I saw a letter B and realised what this was. It was Brad’s business card.

Well, that answered another question. He’d been watching us this morning. He’d been stalking me outside of my home and decided to stake his claim again. I didn’t know whether to feel crazy mad or insanely turned on by this.

Gathering the bits of paper, I took them towards the bin. He had made sure to cut it up so there was no way I’d be able to put it back together and decipher the telephone number.

With a shake of my head, I put my foot on the pedal, placing the bits of paper into the bin and watching as they trickled from my hand. I shook my head, both in amusement and frustration. “Okay, I get it. Not only can I not come unless you tell me, I’m also not able to have any other men in my life.”

What was wrong with me? Having this stranger in my life was making me crazy. I was not only letting him rule me, I was now talking to myself? I needed to get a grip.

Taking my foot off the pedal, I walked back to my bedroom. “Well, if you think I’m going to let you do that to me again, you’ve got another thing coming.”





Chapter 18



Dean



The old law about “an eye for an eye” leaves everybody blind.

The time is always right to do the right thing.

Martin Luther King Jr.





With a hasty retreat, I was down the stairs and in the car, driving away. I needed the speed now. I needed to feel the roar of my V8 Dodge Challenger engine beneath me. I needed to let go and just drive. I had several other cars, but nothing beat the punch my Challenger gave me. She was sleek, fast, and purred like a fucking cat. I needed that after leaving Tyler the way I did. She unnerved me tonight. Again, her poison leaked into me and I couldn’t get her, or her fucking gorgeous mouth, out of my head. I was a master at control and I’d been that way my whole life. I called the shots, I made the demands. But tonight, just like last night, she made me fall apart beneath her. I wasn’t expecting her to take me like that. I wanted to give her the option to pull away and let me come all over her perky tits. I would have done that if she said. In fact, I was expecting it. I wanted to mark her as much as I could. In a perverted way, I wanted to see my seed spreading all over her. I wanted to watch her face as she saw me marking her—branding her as mine.

And she was mine. I made sure of that the minute I set foot in her apartment. I knew exactly where she kept all her business cards. I knew everything about Tyler. So when I marched over to her drawer by her telephone, I looked inside and there it was. It was the first thing I did before going to her tonight. I smiled a little, thinking she would probably have spotted it by now. No doubt she would come looking for me, but I would be long gone by then. She was naked so I highly doubted she would come chasing after me. That was another thing I had to my advantage. Every time I took Tyler, I would make sure she was always naked. I would be dressed to conceal my identity, but Tyler would always be bare. She would always be open and vulnerable. The thought of that made my dick twitch. Everything about her made my fucking dick twitch.

As I drove along the M5 motorway, I gripped the steering wheel, trying not to lose it. I was in control. I controlled her, not the other way around. I wasn’t going to let her play me like a sucker again.

As I turned off the junction to head home, I couldn’t help the small smile that crept on my face when I thought about going to her again. I was sure she would be resistant next time. She would be so mad that I just left her like that, and I knew I would have a fight on my hands upon my return.

But I had an ace up my sleeve. I always did when it came to Tyler. She would get used to me eventually and when that time came, I would strike.





Chapter 19



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 1995





Dean was in my room again, and we were playing Twos and Eights. He told me we had to play cards so that he would be distracted from what he really wanted to do with me. I was only ten and didn’t really know what he meant by that, but I was hoping what he really wanted to do was kiss me. When Dean wasn’t looking, I often sat there and just stared at his lips. I would lick my own, trying to imagine what his would feel like on mine. It was silly because I was so young. On the other hand, Dean was twelve so he was a little older and, quite possibly, more experienced than me by now. It made me mad to think of Dean kissing another girl, but if he had, he kept it quiet. I certainly didn’t hear about it from other girls, either. They all wanted him, though. I saw the way they looked at him and giggled. I hated the fact that they knew I was friends with him and used it to their advantage. They would be friendly with me and ask me questions about him. They were false. I hated false people. I wasn’t so naïve that I thought they would ever truly want to be my friend. Dean and Ian were my true friends.

“Aha!” Dean cried, making me jump. I had been staring at him a little too long—again. “Unless you have another two, Rosey, you have to pick up four cards.” He looked up, catching my stare, and smiled. I felt the familiar burn in my cheeks, so I looked down at my cards. Darn it, I didn’t have a two.

Reaching out, I grabbed four cards and placed them in my hands. I now had ten cards and Dean only had four. He was always better than me at this game, but that was probably because I spent too much time looking at him.

“I don’t want you to go,” he suddenly said. I looked up and saw how sad he looked. My stomach ached at the thought of not being near him for the next three weeks. We were all going to Tuscany again, but Dean had to stay here. My parents didn’t want Dean to come, no matter how much I begged.

“I don’t want to go, either,” I replied. I had always looked forward to our summer holiday in Tuscany, but not since I met Dean. Ian and I still went away together, as our parents got along so well, and although I still had a lovely time by the pool, I missed Dean terribly.

Placing his cards down, he reached up to place a strand of hair behind my ear. When I shivered, he smiled, and the butterflies ran through my stomach. “I’m going to miss you, Rosey,” he said, stroking a finger against my burning cheek.

Closing my eyes, there was only one thing I could say. “I’m going to miss you, too.”



*****



I didn’t sleep very well last night. Call it frustration at my lack of orgasm, call it anger that he never gave me one. All I knew was that he would come around again. I didn’t know when, but I’d be damned if I was going to let him take over like that again. He was not only a deviant. He was a sexual deviant. Sure, he gave me some amazing orgasms, but it was always at his command. I’d be damned if I was going to be suckered in like that again.

Getting myself ready, I headed into work. When I got back yesterday, I made sure everything was ready for print this morning. I was eager to see Jeremy’s letter in the paper, and I was also eager to see Jeremy. I had already made sure I had another pack of Twiglets, and the sequel to the book he was reading. I was really hoping I would be able to get leave by five today so I could go see him. I was never sure what each day would bring me, but I was going to try my best. It wasn’t because I felt sorry that he had hardly any visitors. It was because I genuinely enjoyed his company. Despite his obvious loneliness and his desire to keep everyone from getting too close to him, Jeremy was just an average teenager. He loved Top Gear and, judging from his David Tennant picture, he also loved Doctor Who. He liked going out to have fun, just like any other teenager, and he also loved girls. Judging by his reaction to me, he maybe even liked the occasional mature lady.

With a smile and a shake of my head, I was in the office by eight-thirty, a cup of coffee in tow. I looked across at Andrew Walker’s office and could see that he was in, too. He was rubbing his beard, a deep look of concentration on his face. He was obviously reading something. Maybe one of the editors gave him something to read before printing. Whatever he was doing, he looked busy and it made me think that I should be getting on with some work myself.

Sitting down at my desk, that’s exactly what I did. I was there about twenty minutes when my phone rang. I looked down to see who could be calling, and it was Andrew.

“Good morning, Mr. Walker,” I nervously said into the phone.

“Good morning, Tyler. May I see you in my office, please?”

I looked up to see him at his desk and, sure enough, he was looking right at me. “Sure. Right now?”

He chuckled a little. “Yes, please.” He hung up and that was my cue to get my arse into gear. I was a little nervous about what he wanted.

As quickly as possible, I got to his door and knocked. He looked up and smiled, gesturing for me to come in. I opened the door, closed it behind me, and timidly walked towards his desk.

“Take a seat, Tyler. Don’t worry. I’m not going to bite.”

I smiled and released a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. I really didn’t get why I was so nervous around him. It was probably because he was my boss, and everyone was always nervous around their boss.

Taking a seat opposite him, I waited.

“I’ve been looking at your column this morning and, I must say, I’m impressed. Can you tell me whether you have had a lot of interest in this?”

I eagerly nodded. “Oh, yes. Definitely. I’m getting hoards of emails a day regarding this column. It’s amazing how many people are out there that secretly harbour feelings for people from afar. With technology these days, I think it makes it a lot harder to approach others face-to-face. We have become an age of computers and mobile phones, instead of friends and new faces.”

Andrew smiled at my comment and leaned back in his chair. “Quite,” he replied, threading his fingers together. “I’ve been thinking, Tyler. I know you’ve been wanting an actual column of your own for a while. I know you started this with the intent of getting people to reach out to one another, but what if this is something you could do full-time?”

I straightened my posture. “You mean my own permanent column?”

Andrew leaned forward, his hands still clasped together. “Yes. If it’s successful, why not? Let’s give it a month and if you’re still pulling in the messages and gaining the interest, we’ll make it a permanent feature in the newspaper. What do you think? It would mean you working twice as hard, but I’m sure with your dedication and tenacity you’ll be able to pull it off.”

I smiled so brightly that he couldn’t help one of his own. “That sounds perfect. I will endeavour to do my utmost to make this successful, Mr. Walker. I promise you that.”

Unclasping his hands, he placed them on the arms of his chair and pulled himself up a little. I knew this was him telling me the conversation was over. “I’m sure you will, Tyler. Just let me know if you have any problems.”

Getting up, I nodded my head. “Sure, sure. Of course.”

I was at the door and about to turn the handle when I heard his voice. “Tyler?”

I turned around. “Yes?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m intrigued by this Jeremy boy. He’s a young lad and people always love to hear stories about young love. Is there any chance we could do a feature on him? Maybe set up an interview? Try and get in touch with this Julie girl perhaps?”

I immediately felt myself tense. I knew Jeremy wanted to remain anonymous, and I wasn’t going to break my promise, no matter what it did to my career.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Walker. He wants to remain anonymous. He gave very little away in his email. The only hint was that his name was Jeremy, he’s fifteen, and he has a crush on a girl named Julie. I must admit, I did try emailing him back for more information, but he must have set up the email address purely to get the message out about how he felt. Unfortunately, mine bounced back as failed.”

I gripped the door handle as tightly as possible so that I had a grip on something. I didn’t want him to think I was lying. I was and I hated it. It was necessary in order to protect Jeremy, though. I certainly wasn’t going to betray his trust in me—at any cost.

Andrew sighed a little and sank back into his chair. “Very well. Hopefully, another story like that will come along and the boy, or girl, is a bit more forthcoming.”

I inwardly sighed in relief and smiled. “Let’s hope so. Thank you, Mr. Walker.”

He waved his hand. “Don’t mention it.”

With a turn of the handle, I was out the door in a flash and rushing back to my desk. I flopped down and buried my head in my hands to conceal my deep breath. I really didn’t like lying to my boss, but I had no other choice.

“Are you okay, Tyler?”

Looking up, I saw Louisa’s concerned face as she stared down at me. “I’m fine. I’ve just come out of Mr. Walker’s office.”

Louisa sat down at the edge of my desk and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, mate. Was it really bad?”

I chuckled a little and shook my head. “No. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. He’s so impressed with the From Afar column, he’s letting me run it on a permanent basis. That’s assuming it does well, of course. He’s giving me a month to see how people react to it.”

Louisa took her hand away with a gasp. “Tyler, that’s fantastic! It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

Louisa frowned a little. “Then why did you look so stressed out when I saw you just now?”

I sighed, trying to think of an excuse. It looked as though my lying wasn’t over just yet. “I’m just worried about it failing, that’s all. It’s my first real column and, I must admit, it’s kind of freaking me out a little. What if I fail?”

Louisa looked down at me with her judgmental eyes. “Tyler, you worry too much. If you’re going to have this notion in your head that you’re going to fail, you probably will. Remember what I’ve always said?”

I nodded with a smile as we both said, “Positive mental attitude.” We giggled and I took her hand. “You’re right, of course. I’m just being silly. It will work because I’m going to make damn sure it does.”

Louisa gripped my hand tightly for a second before letting go. “Of course you will.” She looked towards her desk for a moment, then got up. “I better get back to work. I have an article about Judge Lyons to write and I know my chief wants it pronto.”

I nodded and watched Louisa stroll back to her desk. That was the other shocking piece of news that came up. A high-profile judge had been delving into the world of underage prostitution. Not only was it a shock to everyone, it also meant that every case he had ever tried in that area could be brought back for re-trial.

It made me think of my mum and dad for a moment. I had to wonder if this would affect them. Deciding to be a loyal daughter, I quickly fished out my mobile and gave my mother a call.

“Tyler, I must admit, I’m thrilled to hear from you, but a little disappointed it wasn’t sooner.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, Mum. Things have been so hectic.”

I heard her sigh. “You know, I’ve always been proud of you, honey. However, I must admit that I think I would have sometimes preferred it if you had become a teacher like you always said you wanted if you couldn’t be a journalist. You know, your sister could get you into America with no problem at all. Maybe could be a kindergarten teacher there.”

I had to laugh. “Mum, you say you want to see me in one breath, then you’re trying to move me over four thousand miles away in the next.”

She giggled a little. “I know but, as unbelievable as it sounds, I get to see Emily more than I get to see you.”

I chuckled a little, remembering all the dreams I used to have when I was younger. I always wanted to be a journalist, but my second choice was a kindergarten teacher. As strange as it sounded, I loved kids. The thought of working with them always filled me with a sense of pride and achievement. I think it was the thought of watching them as they grew, seeing them learn new things. You could always see the most dramatic differences in their first years. It would have been a joy to teach them and watch them grow up.

I must admit, it was sometimes tempting to seek out the more tranquil side of life. Not that teaching small children was tranquil. It would just mean my life would be more ordered than it is now. I certainly had the qualifications to become a teacher. As well as my degree in English, I also held a degree in Education. I was always so enthusiastic when I was younger. I just thought if it turned out I hated journalism, I always had my other qualification to fall back on. It helped I had a sister who was married to an American. I had the choice to either be a teacher here or in the U.S. At least I had options.

“I’m sorry about that, Mum. I promise I will visit you as soon as I can.”

“Well, I hope you do. Your father misses you, too.” I heard her sigh again. “Listen, honey. I’m due in court in five minutes. I really need to go.”

Remembering that’s why I called, I sat up a little. “Okay, but that’s one reason I called. I take it you know about Judge Lyons?”

She sighed in frustration. “Yes. What a shitstorm that is. It looks as though all his cases will be reviewed again. It’s a fucking mess. Sorry, sweetie.”

I laughed, knowing that she was apologising for swearing. “That’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

I heard her muffled voice saying she was coming before she said, “I really have to go. They’re calling me in.”

“Okay, Mum. No worries. I’ll speak to you soon.”

“You better,” she replied before hanging up.



*****



The day went really quickly, simply because I was frantically going through all my messages and picking out all the ones I considered the best. I was getting hundreds of them in. It was quite exhausting on my eyes, as well as everywhere else. I loved it, though. It was actually nice to feature something positive for a change. For once, I felt like I was helping the outside world. I knew it sounded silly, but there simply wasn’t enough love. I felt I was helping the people, even if it was a tiny population, reach out to one another. Nothing can be more gratifying than that.

The other reason I had to get everything done as quickly as I could was because I was anxious to see Jeremy. He needed to know I was going to be there for him whether he liked it or not. It was hard for me to get away near five o’clock, but I was determined to do it for him if I could, even if it meant me coming in at seven every morning.

The only thing that disappointed me was the fact that I didn’t get a response to Jeremy’s message. Maybe it was a little too soon, or it may be that she would never get to see it. The latter did fill me with a certain unease. I really wanted Jeremy to get his first kiss.

Rushing to get everything done, I managed to leave a little after five. Both Ian and Louisa raised their eyebrows at me, but I wasn’t going to hang around long enough to hear what they had to say.

I managed to get to the hospital just in time to squeeze in the last half-hour with Jeremy. I walked through the door and spied the same nurse who would smile at me, but never said anything. Jeremy had his head in a magazine, as every other patient had family members or friends milling around them. It made my heart ache. It just didn’t seem right that he was always on his own, fighting his cancer alone. I just couldn’t comprehend how he would want this in his life.

“Jeremy,” I said after managing to compose myself a little.

He looked up, crinkled his cute nose a little, and smiled the most heart-warming smile I had ever seen. “What are you doing here?” he asked, placing the magazine back down on his lap. It was a Top Gear magazine, of course.

“Is that the way you normally greet people?” I replied, sitting down with a frown on my face.

Looking away for a moment, Jeremy grinned cheekily. “Well, that depends on whether the said people bring me Twiglets.”

“Have you really gone through them all already?”

Jeremy looked at me as if I was crazy. “Well, it has been two days.”

Placing my hand in my bag, I pulled out the Twiglets. “Well, it’s good I brought these then, isn’t it?” Jeremy’s face lit up and, at that moment, every bit of stress I had today was all worth it just to see him smile.

“You’re hot, and you bring me Twiglets. How could I not fall in love with you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Steady there, kiddo. We’re not going back to the kissing subject again.”

Jeremy thumped his bed a little. “Darn it! I was hoping you would have come around by now.” He smiled cheekily and I giggled. “Did you get your visitor last night?”

My face immediately flushed, remembering what had taken place. Jeremy spotted my embarrassment and smiled. “He did, didn’t he? And what did he do this time? Cook himself a meal, bake some bread, or did he eat your muffins this time?”

I almost choked on the muffin comment. Unfortunately, there was none of that going on last night.

“He’s becoming a pain in the arse, Jeremy. Excuse my language. He keeps turning the toilet paper the wrong way around. He’ll also insist that if there is anything he considers out of place, he puts it where he wants to. It’s like he’s ruling the roost. I’m surprised he hasn’t taken a pee around my apartment yet, just to mark his territory.” I screwed up my face in distaste, then wondered if I had maybe taken my eagerness to tell Jeremy things a little too far. Sometimes it was hard to picture Jeremy as only a fifteen-year-old lad when he has had to deal with so much.

I realised that Jeremy was fine with it. In fact, his burst of laughter was so loud, it had everyone in the ward looking. Most were intrigued, but the nurses smiled brightly. I think they were just glad someone was around for him.

“You two sound like an old married couple. To be honest, I would be frightened for you and tell you to call the police, but you say he’s been doing this off and on for three years?” I nodded. “Have you ever considered that this person might be a friend of yours? He might secretly admire you from afar and this is the only way he can communicate what you mean to him.”

I was about to retort that him annoying me wasn’t getting him very far when I suddenly thought of Ian. I know we had quite an unconventional relationship, and I know we’d always made sure it was playful, but what if Ian wanted to take it further?

I thought, wondering if I could connect the mystery voice and body to Ian, but nothing quite matched. The voice was husky and masculine. Ian’s was deep, but it certainly didn’t have that edge of sexiness to it. He could have altered his voice so I didn’t recognise him. But his body didn’t match, either. Not that I’d seen my stranger’s body. He had always made sure he was completely covered. He almost looked like a villain about to rob me. The problem was, he does rob me. He robs me of my body and leaves me wanting more. Despite what he did to me last night, I still wanted more. Nothing about it made any sense. It was probably because he was so mysterious and made my body quiver. Hell, he didn’t even have to touch me. Just opening his mouth and whispering to me with that husky voice was enough.

Shaking my head, I couldn’t see Ian doing all this. It did make me a little suspicious, though, and I suppose this was one avenue I would need to explore more, but I doubted it would get me anywhere.

“I’m really not sure, Jeremy. But I’m glad you brought it up. It is something I will look into. I know I should really try to find out more myself.”

Jeremy smiled, opened a pack of Twiglets, and popped one in his mouth. “Glad I could help.”

I shook my head when he offered me one. “I’m a little full from lunch. Anyway, I’m sick of talking about me. How are you feeling today?” He looked a little pale.

He shrugged. “I’m feeling a bit tired, but generally okay. I don’t think I can run any marathons, but I can’t complain. I had Chemo yesterday, so I’m still feeling the effects from that.”

He popped another Twiglet in his mouth as I grabbed his arm. “Can you promise me something?” Knowing he was alone through all of this tugged at my heart.

He stopped chewing for a moment and spied me peculiarly. “Depends on what it is.”

I reached into my bag and pulled out a card with my work number on it. With a pen, I turned it over and wrote my home phone and mobile number. “Here, take this,” I said, handing him the card. “I want you to promise me that if you need me, and I don’t care what time of day or night, you call me on any of those numbers. Okay?”

I looked at him sternly, earning myself a cheeky grin. “Come on, admit it. You are in love with me, aren’t you?”

I smiled, but shook my head. “I’m being serious, Jeremy. I want you to promise me. I don’t care what time it is.”

Holding his hands up, his eyes widened a little. “Okay, okay. I promise.”

Sinking back into the chair, I sighed. “Thank you. Oh, one more thing.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Oh god. What is it this time?”

“Jeremy!” I scolded, making us both chuckle. “How are you getting on with the book?”

Jeremy smiled at me triumphantly. “I finished it earlier this afternoon.”

“Really? That was quick.”

“Well, as you can see, there is so much for me to do here…” he replied, rolling his eyes at me again. I know he meant it as a joke, but it still didn’t stop the pang of sympathy in my gut.

“Did you enjoy it?” I finally asked. I’d only known Jeremy for a couple of days, but I could already tell the last thing he wanted was anybody’s sympathy.

“I loved it. I want more,” he replied, bright-eyed.

Digging my hands into my bag, I fished out the sequel to the book. “Well, it’s good I bought you this one, as well.”

His face lit up again as his hands frantically waved for me to hand it to him. “You must be my angel,” he sighed. “Thank you.”

Grabbing his arm again, I squeezed it gently. “Don’t mention it, kiddo.”

“Excuse me, miss,” a gentle voice called over to me. I spun around and saw the same nurse from yesterday. “Visiting time is over.”

My eyes widened and checked my watch to make sure she was correct. I sagged my shoulders and looked at Jeremy. “That went by too quick.”

Jeremy smiled and looked up at the nurse. “That’s because she’s in love with me.”

“Jeremy!” I shouted, knowing I was making a habit of this.

“You can’t help it, of course. Every nurse here is in love with me, too. I guess I just have a natural charm all you ladies love.”

The nurse laughed, but rolled her eyes. It seemed I wasn’t the only one he was constantly hitting on.

“I think you should be concentrating on eating, Jeremy, instead of hitting on all the ladies. You need to get your strength up if you’re going to go around catching any girl’s heart,” the young nurse said with a smile.

“Who says I need to catch any girl’s heart? I already have a million lining up to add to my already large pile.”

Shaking my head, I got up. “You’re incorrigible, Jeremy. Just make sure you do as the nurse asks. You do look a little pale. And just remember what I said.”

Jeremy saluted me with a smile. “Yes, ma’am.”

I smiled. “I’ll try to visit you as often as I can, but if there are ever any days I can’t come in, please know it’s because of work and not because I don’t want to see you.”

Jeremy shrugged and picked his magazine back up. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll understand.”

I knew by the way he said it that he cared more about it than he let on. He was desperate for my company and, I must admit, I was a little desperate for his, too. I didn’t even know him very well, but I cared for him very deeply.

“Okay, well, you take care of yourself,” I smiled as I turned towards the door.

“Okay. You, too.” He waved with a small smile. He immediately went back to reading and I knew I had no choice but to leave.

Once I got closer to the door, I turned and motioned to the nurse. “Excuse me. Can I have your name?”

The blonde nurse smiled. “Yes. It’s Kimberly.”

I nodded with a smile, grabbing another card from my bag, writing my home and mobile numbers on it, then handing it to her. “Could you do me a favour? If he ever needs someone, could you please call me? I gave him a card, too, but I’m not sure he’ll use it. He seems as stubborn as a mule.”

She bit her lip, a little unsure. “I’m not sure. I’ve been told to contact the foster home if there were ever any problems.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes. I can see the people at his foster home are really caring enough to come visit him.” She chuckled a little like she agreed with me, but I still looked at her pleadingly.

She sighed. “Okay. I’m not really supposed to do this, but I will keep your number and call you. As long as you don’t say it was me if I ever do.”

I crossed my heart. “I promise.” I smiled, but remembered something else. “Oh, and another thing. Can he ever leave the hospital—like, just for a few hours to go somewhere?”

Kimberly inhaled, looking deep in thought. “Sometimes he has good days, sometimes bad. It also depends. If you’re looking to take him out, you would have to seek permission from Social Services. He is still only fifteen. Mind you, he will be sixteen this coming Sunday. I suppose he is free to do what he wants after that.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Really? He never mentioned that. It’s a big birthday. Normally kids his age are dying to tell people.”

Kimberly sighed, looking sad again. “I know. I don’t know you, but you seem like a nice lady. I’m glad he has someone in his life. He tries to tell us it doesn’t affect him, but we all know it does. We try our best here, but there is only a certain amount we can do.”

I nodded my head. “Of course. All you nurses do a stand-up job. I take my hat off to the lot of you—and I really mean that.”

She smiled brightly. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

I was about to leave, but I needed to know more. I doubted Jeremy would be forthcoming. “Can you tell me more about his condition?”

Kimberly bit her lip again, looking over her shoulder. “Well, I’m not supposed to, but I can tell you a little. Jeremy has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia. It’s a type of cancer which affects the white blood cells. You see, the white blood cells in your body help protect you from infection and diseases. In Jeremy’s case, his are cancerous and, not only that, they multiply. He’s being brave, but I know this must be affecting him. He was in remission for a little while, but he got ill and the cancer came back. It was almost as if he decided that was it. He has given up. We keep trying to make him see things positively, but I think that has just made him quite depressed.” Her eyes widened a little as she looked away. “Sorry. I really shouldn’t be telling you all of this. It’s not my place.”

Laying a hand on her arm, I smiled. “I’m glad you did, Kimberly. I promise I will keep what you said strictly between us. I’ll go now as I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I’m really glad you told me.”

Kimberly smiled. “That’s okay. You enjoy the rest of your evening.”

I smiled back. “You, too, Kimberly.”

I could have taken the bus but, once I walked out of the hospital, I decided to take a walk. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, which seemed a little selfish when Jeremy was going through everything he was. In a sense, I wished there was something more I could do. So, on the way home, I bought another multi-pack of Twiglets, and the third book in the series he was reading. It would be something to look forward to giving him on my next visit. And I was determined to visit as often as I could.

When I got home, I placed my bag and coat by the door, and rushed into the kitchen to open a bottle of wine. I placed a Chicken Tikka Masala frozen meal in the microwave, pressed the button, and proceeded to get undressed to take a shower. I was exhausted, so a nice warm shower, a glass of wine, and an Indian meal seemed just the ticket for me.

Once I got in my bathroom, I nearly flipped. The little fucker had been in my flat again and had turned my toilet paper the wrong way around. “Arrgggh!” I shouted in frustration as I turned it the right way. “If I wanted a husband to piss me off, I’d fucking get married!” Seriously, what was wrong with me? I was now making a habit of shouting at no one? I wonder why the neighbours haven’t sent the men in white coats to come and get me.

I sighed in frustration again, but headed for the shower. I took my time getting washed, feeling good as new afterwards. I put on my pyjamas, put my meal onto a plate, and went to grab my glass of wine from the counter.

I stopped dead in my tracks. All the wine in my glass had miraculously disappeared.

I stood there for a moment, wondering what the hell to do. My heart was thumping, my loins were tingling, and the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up.

Once I composed myself, I put everything down and searched every corner of the apartment, but there was nothing. I even jumped out, growling like an idiot, a frying pan in my hand. If I would have found him, I would have hit him, serving him right after playing me last night. I would also get to have a glimpse of the man that had been a part of me for the last three years.

It would seem he had come and gone. He made sure I was in the shower, played his little game, then left. There was only one thing left for me to do. I put the frying pan away, refilled my wine glass, and sat in front of the TV with my meal. He could play games all he wanted. I certainly wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of thinking his actions bothered me.

I think I even knew what he was doing. He wanted me to think about him. He wanted me to know he was always there, always a part of my life whether I liked it or not. And I hated that I liked it. I hated that he brought out so many emotions in me. And I hated that no matter how many times he tried to remind me he was still here, I could never forget him. I never wanted to forget him. He was my stranger. The nameless, faceless man who visited me…not only in my waking life, but in my dreams. He was always there, always in the back of my mind. While I loved it, I also hated him for affecting me so much. He even sabotaged a possible relationship with Brad. Yet I sat there and acted as if I didn’t care. And the reason was because I couldn’t seem to get my stranger out of my damn head.

With my meal finished and half the wine gone, I set to work washing up and getting everything I needed for work packed in my bag for my day tomorrow. As I lay in bed later, I wondered if my stranger would come to me tonight. I wanted him to just so I could give him a piece of my mind—just so I could hear that sexy, husky voice of his.

It took a while to get to sleep, but my eyes were too heavy to care about whether my stranger would come. It wasn’t long after that I fell asleep.



*****



“Tyler…,” his voice whispered in the darkness. “Tyler, I’m here for you now. I’m here to finish off what I started last night.”

I didn’t know whether I was dreaming or not, but the feel of his hands on me was making me think otherwise. I felt his hands all over me, caressing me, touching me in places he knew would make me moan under his touch. Then I noticed his musky smell. It was filling up my senses and making my loins light up with a rich intensity. His hot breath tickled the base of my neck. He was gentle when he wanted to be, but was a little rough sometimes. He never hurt me…well, not so much that it would cause me real pain, but he obviously liked to dominate.

Suddenly, I was fully awake because I realized I couldn’t move my hands. I tried in vain to reach out and touch him, but my hands wouldn’t move.

“What’s going on?”

He was there again, on top of me with his finger pressed against my lips. “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you. I’ve come to say sorry for my punishment yesterday.”

“By tying me up?”

He laughed and I could feel the sound rumbling into my chest. It made me shudder. “I promise what you’re about to feel will only be pleasure. It is time for you to receive it all, Tyler. I’m here to give you all the pleasure. But, first of all, I have to check one thing.”

I felt him slide off me and watched as he walked away from me. He was wearing that hoodie again, the one that should have caused me nightmares but, instead, made my toes curl and my knees weak.

I suddenly realised he was going into my bathroom. “I swear to God, if you turn that toilet paper around the other way again, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.”

I heard a noise in the bathroom. He started walking back to me. “I doubt very much you could kick my ass, Tyler, but I would love to see you try.”

I was going to retort, but he was back on me again, filling up my senses and digging his hard cock into my stomach.

With a finger to my lips again, he trailed them gently down my chin. “Shh, Tyler. Try not to make a sound. Can you do that for me? Will you be able to hold your squeals of desire? Can you keep that pretty little mouth that sucked me hard last night quiet?”

Oh god, I couldn’t help it. I moaned. “Tyler, I’ve barely touched you, yet you can’t seem to help yourself. So disobedient.”

I was desperate for him and I knew it. But I was also desperate for something else: information. I needed to know more about my stranger. I needed anything he could give me. “What’s your name?”

I felt his hand trail down the side of my torso and all the way down my thigh, making the goosebumps stand at attention. “I love the fact you’re always naked when I visit you. You always need to be naked in bed. Always,” he whispered into my ear, making me moan again.

“What’s your name?” I asked again, determined not to let him get the better of me.

“Always with the questions, Tyler. The only thing you need to do is to feel. Only feel.” With a swipe of his hand, he pinched the end of my nipple, causing me to arch my back.

“You come to me at night. You fuck me, mark me, make me suck your cock, but you won’t give me your name. Tell me,” I demanded.

I felt him sigh a little, but his head lowered to my other nipple, tantalising it with his tongue. “Lotus,” he breathed, taking my whole nipple into his mouth.

I moaned again, my reaction telling me to move and touch him, but I couldn’t. Every instinct was telling me to rub my hands on him. Give him as much pleasure as he was giving me, but I was restricted. And it both frustrated and turned me on at the same time.

“What kind of name is Lotus? That can’t be your real name.”

With his mouth on my nipple, I felt his hand trail down from one breast, all the way to my entrance. He placed one finger inside, causing me to gasp. “Always so wet for me, aren’t you? Lotus is my name, Tyler, and if I could, I’d fucking carve it into you so everyone could see that you are mine.”

With a moan, I shuddered, unable to hold on to my desire for him. “You ripped the card up,” I answered breathlessly. Right now, I couldn’t give a flying fuck that he did, but I needed him to know what an arsehole he was. “You had no ri—”

“Shh,” he whispered again, his finger on my lips. “Brad could never give you what I give you, Tyler. You know it and I know it.”

I did know it. But my stranger hadn’t kissed me once. Not once had I felt his lips on mine. I needed, craved that connection with him. “Kiss me,” I demanded through his finger.

“There is one thing you need to know about me, Tyler. I don’t kiss. I fuck, and I’m going to fuck you until you see the stars falling out of the sky. Do you understand?” He pushed his finger back inside me, causing me to cry out. “Do you understand?” he growled.

“Yes!” I shouted. I fucking hated and loved that he could command this power over me. Right now, I was at his mercy. I should have been scared shitless, but all I cared about was his hands and that beautiful mouth of his, kissing and caressing every inch of me. I didn’t know what he was going to do to me, but I knew I was going to love every fucking minute of it.

“I’m going to make you come, Tyler, and when you do, you’re going to scream my name. I want to hear it on your tongue. I want to be able to almost taste my name when you scream it. Say my name, Tyler. Speak it now.”

“Lotus,” I uttered breathlessly as his lips were caressing my stomach.

“That’s a good girl,” he cooed, lowering his head towards my clit. At first, I thought he was going to lick me. In fact, my pussy was aching for it. But instead, he pulled up, unzipped his trousers, ripped a condom packet with his mouth, placed the condom on, and rammed himself into me. Hard.

I screamed in pleasure and in pain. It was almost as if the two were meshed together. I knew he wasn’t going to give me the ultimate connection of intimacy, but he sure knew how to fucking make me weak with need.

“Rise that fucking gorgeous ass of yours into the air, Tyler.” I did, seeming to act on autopilot. “That’s it.” He slammed back into me again, causing me to cry out.

“Fuck!” he growled as he started pounding into me. He wasn’t gentle, either. He had hold of my hips and was using them to dive into me harder. I wasn’t used to being used and abused like that. But, for some reason, having my hands tied in this way with him calling all the shots had an orgasm already on the way. “Lotus,” I cried, watching as his masculine frame took charge of my body. And all I could do was watch. All I could do was feel. And that was exactly what he wanted me to do.

The pressure from this angle was intense. It was a little awkward being tied up and having to keep my arse in the air like this, but it was definitely worth it. With each thrust, he was hitting that sweet spot, and I knew I was going to blow soon. No matter how much I wanted to relish this feeling of him inside me, I knew that if he kept on at this pace, it wouldn’t be long.

And there wasn’t any stopping him. He was pounding harder, faster. He was even doing his best at holding me in place so I didn’t fall. I couldn’t understand from where he got his strength. He was like an unrelenting force of nature, and I knew there was no one out there that could even come close. Now that I’ve tasted my stranger, my lotus, there was no turning back.

And that’s what had the fire raging, the heat surfacing, my screams bellowing. “Lotus!” I screamed, unable to hold it in much longer.

With a grip on my hips, he just delved in harder. I knew he was forcing my orgasm to come. There was no telling me to stop this time. He wanted me to have this. He was telling me to have it.

“Come for me, Tyler. Let me hear you fucking scream my name.”

That was it for me. I exploded around him, screaming and hollering his name, just like he wanted me to. I could feel myself tightening around him as my spasms seemed to rage on around his cock.

“Fuck, Tyler!” he screamed as his pounding intensified. I could feel him enlarging inside me. He was going to come any moment and I wanted to capture it and keep it for life.

“Fuck!” he screamed again and as he collapsed on top of me.





Chapter 20



Dean



Revenge is sweet and not fattening.

Alfred Hitchcock





Fuck, what was that? I fucking lost it again. What was with this woman and her fucking voodoo magic? Her pussy seemed to have me under some kind of hypnotic spell. It was almost like she was taunting me and I was quickly being sucked in.

I was on top of her now, breathing in her beautiful cocoa butter smell. I remembered that smell as a kid. It always made me want more of her—even then.

So I lay there, still inside her, our breathing heavy, savouring that smell like it was my last sense to go. And I was losing all my fucking senses around her. It was almost as if I was becoming pussy-whipped. And there was no way in hell that Dean Scozzari would ever become pussy-whipped. Not now, not ever.

With a frustrated grunt, I climbed off her, took the condom off, and walked towards the bathroom.

“Are you going to let me go?” I heard her call out.

Flushing the condom down the toilet, I zipped up my trousers. I was going to leave. I was going to just fuck her, untie her, and be gone. But, for some reason, I felt I needed to stake my claim on her again. I needed her at my will for longer. There was nothing more fucking erotic than to see a woman tied up with nowhere to go. It was just too tempting for words.

Every bone in my body wanted to bolt. Every thought was telling me to get the hell out of there. But why should I? Why should I feel the need to run from her? She was just a good fuck, plain and simple. Just a game to pass my time until I struck. She will soon know who I am, but I needed to fucking get a grip and see this through first.

With a shake of my head, I walked back inside her bedroom. Funnily enough, she was exactly as I left her.

Vulnerable.

Naked.

Flawless.

Fucking sexy.

I watched as she watched me. I could make out her eyes trying to squint to see if she could see me. I always made sure I stayed hidden around her. I couldn’t risk her seeing me and, potentially, recognising me.

“Are you going to untie me now?” she asked, and I couldn’t help the smile that crept on my face. She wasn’t demanding. She was asking, and it made my dick spring back to life.

I then knew that I couldn’t possibly leave. I had to taste her. I had to feel her squirming underneath me, tantalising me with that fucking magic pussy of hers.

“I’ll let you go, but there is something I need to do first.” Reaching down towards her toe, I pinched it a little, causing her to yelp.

“What are you going to do?”

I could hear a slight anxiety in her voice and it only made me harder. I didn’t want to frighten her but, at the same time, I wanted her to feel something—any little feeling of how I felt all those years ago, the years that were robbed from me.

Crawling onto her bed, I slid my hand up her thigh as I began my journey towards that delectable pussy of hers. As always, she responded to my touch. She never could seem to get enough of it. And that was just what I wanted. I thought I would’ve had to work harder at gaining her total trust, but all those years of stalking her paid off. She was getting so used to me now, like a comfortable pair of shoes—but I wasn’t fucking comfortable.

“Tyler, do you have any idea just how fucking sexy you look tied up right now?” I heard her murmur and I knew she would be willing for me to take her again. I bet she was even expecting it.

Looking up at her, I saw her lust. I saw the desperation of her wanting to touch me. Her pulling at the red ribbon tied above her was telling me that much. But I couldn’t let her gain control.

Grabbing her exposed breasts, I took one of her nipples into my mouth and sucked a little harder this time. She cried out in pleasure and I knew I hadn’t hurt her. That thought alone had me spurning on even further. I so wanted to sink my dick into her again, but I had only planned on just the once. I couldn’t have too much of her. That’s why I disciplined myself by only bringing one condom. I knew exactly what was going to take place before I even got here. I planned it down to the last detail, and part of that plan involved doing something to her again tonight. I was just waiting for the right moment to strike. And I knew exactly when that moment would be.

“Why do you let me do the things I do to you?” I whispered into the darkness.

She froze for a moment, then lightly chuckled. “I don’t have any other choice.” She pulled at her restraints to emphasise her point.

“But you had no restraints last time.”

I heard her breathe a sigh. It was almost like a sigh of resolution. “Like I said, I have no other choice.”

I kissed her nipple and nuzzled it with my teeth a little, but her comment seemed to play around in my head. “Why?” I asked, trying to search for the answer in her face.

She gave a sigh. “Because it feels like you’re all I’ve ever known.”

I stopped. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried hard to force the words from seeping into my head. Little did she know, I was all she ever knew. I was all she ever said she wanted. But what she had done was irreplaceable of all that. She needed to be punished. She needed to be branded. And that’s exactly what I was about to do.

“I need you to open your legs for me, Tyler, and tilt up those beautiful fucking hips of yours.”

She sighed. “Do you ever not swear?”

I sighed right back at her. “Do you ever not ask questions?”

I heard her annoyance. “Ask questions? I hardly know anything about you. All I know is you’re my stranger, you smell nice, you fuck like an animal, and you say your name’s Lotus. What is your real name? Who are you?”

I didn’t want her asking me those things. I was prepared for that and I knew it would come. I actually thought it would have been sooner than this but, for some reason, she always let me take control.

“I am the man of your dreams, Tyler. And, right now, I’m going to make your dreams come true.”

I plunged my finger into her again, feeling how wet she still was. I knew then that I had her. I knew she would relent and give into my commands.

Rising off her some more, I looked down at my sweet, beautiful devil woman as she wriggled underneath me. “Now, Tyler,” I said, caressing her bottom with my other hand. “I need you to lift up a little bit more. I’ll support you, but you need to raise your hips a bit further.” She did as she was told and my dick throbbed against my trousers.

Taking my finger from her pussy, I wandered down a little bit further until I was at another interesting part of her body. I immediately felt her tense, which I was expecting. I doubted anybody had ever been near her there before.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you, Tyler. I promise. Just feel.”

With my finger, wet from her pussy, I moistened her down there. I teased her for a while with my finger and, to my surprise, she responded. With my other hand, I started messaging her clit a little. Not too rough, but just enough to relax her and get her nice and ready for me. It wasn’t long before her moans were radiating around the room.

Knowing she was willing, I gently placed my finger into her ass. I wasn’t rough, as I knew that was not how she would want it. She was untouched down there, so I had to be careful not to push her too hard.

To my surprise, I felt her push herself down a little to meet me. She was enjoying this, which made it that much harder not to yank my trousers down and fuck her hard again.

“Lotus…,” she whispered, causing me to grip my eyes shut. I had to focus on what I was doing. I had to make sure she felt all the pleasure. This wasn’t about me now. Now was my build-up. I had to make her see there was just no living without me.

With one finger thrusting inside her, I bent my head and pushed my tongue into her pussy. She wriggled and moaned, and I could feel her wanting more. I could tell she just couldn’t get enough.

“Oh god!” I heard her shout as I started licking her clit relentlessly. I loved the taste of her. She was like the sweetest honey on earth. I couldn’t seem to get enough of it.

I mercilessly licked and thrust my way inside of her, fucking her beautiful ass with my finger. I knew the moment she was going to come. I could feel her tensing up. I could hear her breathing become more and more shallow. I could feel her clenching against my finger as her orgasm was about to rip her apart. And just before she was about to come, I pulled my finger out, took my face away from her pussy, and hovered over her. I placed my hand on her pussy and, with one finger inside her and another on her clit, I finished her off. She came, screaming my name, then I struck. I dived my head to her neck and sucked her with all my might. All this did was cause her to scream louder. She was still coming and I was still sucking. All I wanted was to fuck her senseless again.

As soon as I felt her calm, I eased my hand and my mouth away, watching as she closed her eyes. She looked beautiful with the tiny bit of moonlight resting on her face.

But then she moved slightly. Her head fell to the side, and it was then that I caught it. I don’t know why I hadn’t seen it on her before now. The locket. The fucking locket I gave to her when we were young. What the fuck would she want with it now? Why the fuck was she still wearing it?

With that thought in my head, I shot up off the bed. How dare she think she could play me like this. How dare she think there was any connection with us after what she had done.

“Lotus, what’s wrong?”

I had to get out of there, fast. The rage was flowing through my veins. All I could see through my closed eyes were my parents. I needed out and I needed out fast.

With a quick tug, I loosened the ribbon that was holding her hands together on the bed. It wasn’t enough to free her, but enough for her to set herself free.

“Lotus?” she questioned, obviously wondering about my sudden change in temperament. But I wasn’t going to stick around to answer her. The moment I freed her enough, I was gone.





Chapter 21



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 1996





“Do you like flowers, Tyler?” I nodded with a smile.

“When we get married, I’m going to buy you a flower every day until the day we die.”

My heart exploded with love for this boy. He was so tall and getting bulkier now, but always had the cheekiest, lopsided grin you ever saw. His hair was still dark, almost black, but he had the most striking blue eyes I had ever encountered. He was simply beautiful.

“You don’t want to be thinking about marriage when you’re only thirteen, Dean. Don’t be silly,” I giggled.

Dean looked serious as he took my hand. “I’m not being silly,” he said, looking deep into my eyes. “I’m just stating a fact.”



*****



The moment I heard the door shut, I knew he wasn’t coming back. I didn’t know what I had done to cause him to get so upset with me, but I couldn’t think about that. I had to get my hands free. They were starting to ache now that the fun was obviously over.

Moving my hands around a bit, I was able to break free of the ribbon and sit up. My wrists and my neck felt a little sore, but not as sore as my heart felt. For some reason, the feeling of rejection was rising through me and it almost caused a little sob to escape.

I couldn’t understand it. What did I do wrong? What could I possibly have done that changed his attitude so drastically?

I shook my head, wondering what on earth was wrong with me. He was a deviant who snuck into my room, did the most erotic things to me, stalked me, and knew everything there was to know about me. So, why was it that I was the one obsessing over him, left wondering whether he would ever come back? It was almost like I was lost to him now. I was once his obsession. Now it looks as though I was just as sick with it as him.

Sighing, I got out of bed and made sure he definitely wasn’t in the apartment anymore. I walked into my bathroom and found that he turned the toilet paper the other way. “Mother fuc—” Don’t do it, Tyler. Don’t let him win. Deep breaths, just take deep breaths.

I stood there for a moment, eyes closed and breathing out my frustration. It still bugged the hell out of me. That would never change. Bending down, I switched the toilet paper back around before flicking on the overhead light by my mirror. When the light came on, it blinded me a little, but not so much that I didn’t notice the bite on the other side of my neck. What was it with him and marking me?

Sighing, I trailed a finger over the bruised area, gazing at my reflection. My hair looked like it had been dragged through a hedge backwards, but I was tied up and abused in the most glorious way.

Shaking my head, I realised I had let him near the one place no one had ever explored before. I thought it would hurt, but he just seemed so gentle, and it just felt so right, that I found myself wanting more. I never thought I would enjoy something like that, but he seemed to know exactly what he was doing. And it both frightened and excited me.

I cleaned myself up and got back into bed, but I didn’t think sleep would come easy. I was exhausted, but I was also wound up tightly. He seemed to suddenly blow hot and cold on me. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going.

I know I was mostly coming, but there was something about him that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I didn’t know whether to feel frightened, excited, anxious, or all of the above. All I knew was there was something familiar about him. There was something so tender and so right that it topped all of the rest of it. Treating me this way didn’t seem to matter in the grand scheme of things. Not when he was the only one since Dean that had made me feel this alive.

On instinct, I touched the angel wings, remembering the day he first gave them to me. He made me make a promise and I kept that promise, but Dean hadn’t kept his. He never returned and I never heard from him again. It took a year to stop looking over my shoulder, hoping he would come back. It was a year of crying into my pillow, jumping every time the phone rang or someone knocked on our door. In a sense, I still had never truly gotten over him. He was my first love, and that’s hard to beat. My stranger was doing a good job of it, though. He was the first man who has ever come close to Dean. He was the first man to ever make me feel things I’d never felt before. He was the first man to ever open my eyes and make me see the true Tyler breaking free. I knew I was a little dark in that respect.

I had a boyfriend named Alan once. The sex was okay, but I never felt it was enough. One evening, I asked him to fuck me hard from behind and spank me. He looked at me as though I had asked him to jump off a cliff.

Suffice it to say, we didn’t do it because he wasn’t comfortable about possibly hurting me. It was only a week or so after that we ended things between us. It was just as well. I was even shocked at myself for suggesting it, and to carry on as normal after that was not going to happen.

Sighing, I turned over in bed and stared at a shadow on the wall. I knew it was just the light from outside illuminating a section on the top of the wall, but it still looked kind of creepy nonetheless. It looked like a black crow with its beak open, its wings spread like it was ready to pounce on its prey. Maybe it was trying to tell me something. Maybe I was the prey. I knew I was my stranger’s prey. But I loved every second of it.

I stared up for what must have been several minutes. I watched as this creepy shadow seemed to morph into what looked like a vampire bat. Quite an apt shadow, I thought, in my sleepy haze, considering my stranger liked to bite me so much.

It was soon after that I found myself suddenly in the corner of my room. I was scared and frightened, hiding from something, but I didn’t know what.

From the shadows, a figure appeared. I thought he was a monster out to get me, but when he came closer, I realised it was Dean. My Dean was here!

My thumping heart slowed as the boy I loved when I was younger came and kneeled down beside me, smiling. I smiled back, feeling absolutely euphoric at the thought that he was here to save me. My Dean had come back, just as promised, and he’d come to rescue me from the monsters.

“Tyler, what are you doing?” he asked, a lopsided grin on his face.

It was then I remembered exactly why I was there, cowering in the shadows. “I’m hiding in the shadows so the monster can’t find me.”

Dean laughed, but came closer. Leaning against my ear, I could feel his hot breath. “Tyler,” he whispered, making me shiver with the feel of his mouth so close to my ear, “you can’t hide in the shadows.”

“Why not?” I asked, wanting so much for him to take me away from here.

“Because it’s the shadows which are chasing you.”

I bolted up in my bed, sweat dripping. It was dark, I was scared. I couldn’t quite catch my breath. I flicked the light on in my room. Everything was still dark and quiet. So, so quiet.

Getting out of bed, I checked my bathroom and turned on my shower. Everything was still in place, the toilet roll as I left it.

As I jumped into the shower and let the warmth envelope me, I started wondering about what my dream meant. Why was Dean in it all of a sudden? Why was he so scary? Closing my eyes, I remembered what my last thought was before I went to sleep. I was thinking of Dean and looking up at the sinister shadows on my wall. It all made sense now. My fuzzy head cleared and I felt calm in the knowledge it was just my subconscious playing tricks on me. Dean would never hurt me. He always said I was his girl, and I always believed him. I still believe him to this day. I just wished I knew where he was and what he was doing right now. Just to know that he was alive and happy would be enough. It was the not knowing that frustrated and worried the hell out of me.

After calming down a little, I shut off the shower, dried myself, and headed back to bed. No shadows were haunting me now. Everything seemed normal—as normal as things could be, at least. I lay there waiting and hoping sleep would find me. It seemed I was more exhausted than I had thought, and I didn’t have too long to wait.





Chapter 22



Dean



Revenge is the naked idol of the worship of a semi-barbarous age.

Percy Bysshe Shelley





No amount of driving could help me. Normally, speed would help alleviate the pressures of the day, but I was wound up far too tightly tonight. What the fuck was she doing wearing that necklace? Why the fuck did she care enough about it to still wear it? It didn’t make any sense.

Smacking the steering wheel, I gripped it tightly. Of course! The witch was using her tricks again. I had been sucked into her voodoo spell. Well done, Tyler, but it won’t happen again.

I appreciate that she didn’t know who I was and had no clue what she was doing but, nevertheless, she was poison. And she used to be my cure. She always knew the right things to say and do. I cherished and loved her in a way that no one could ever come close.

It didn’t matter because Tyler had done a number on me now. I’d be a psychiatrist’s dream…if I ever had one. I was sick and twisted, but she was a little sick and twisted, too. I mean, who in their right mind lets a stranger roam their home and does nothing about it? Who in their right mind would let someone they didn’t know come into their home and do things to them that had never been done? In a sense, it frustrated me that she let me. I could be anyone, but she just opened her door and let me in. And I knew it wouldn’t be long before she let me into her heart. I just had to make sure she never thought she could enter mine because I didn’t have one, plain and simple.

Sighing, I signalled left to head towards the Barnes area. I had far more important things to deal with right now. I had to meet Jimmy in a half-hour so we could deal with a little…annoying matter. One of my men betrayed me and I couldn’t have that. No one betrays Dean Scozzari.

No one should ever dare.





Chapter 23



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 1997





“What movie do you want to go see, Tyler? Our treat.” Dean smiled and Ian ran his fingers through his hair, waiting for me to answer.

“I’m not sure,” I said, biting my lip. “I would like to see Dumb and Dumber, but it’s rated twelve.”

Both Dean and Ian laughed. Ian placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze. “You’ve already forgotten that you’re twelve today?”

My eyes widened and we all laughed. “Oh, shoot. I guess I’m being a little blonde.”

Dean winked at me, making me blush. “Or a little beautiful.”

We stared at each other for a little while, then Ian cleared his throat. “Let’s go and line up for the tickets then.”

Nodding, we got the tickets and made our way to the theatre. We sat down with about ten minutes to spare before the film.

Ian turned to us. “I’m going to get some popcorn. Do you want some?”

Dean and I shook our heads, as Dean held up a packet of salt and vinegar Hula Hoops crisps. “I’m set, but thanks, Ian.” Ian nodded and went up the aisle to get his popcorn. Moments after, the room fell dark and everyone stopped talking and rustling with their packets of food.

Out of nowhere, Dean grabbed my left hand and held it gently. I looked up at him with a smile as he gently played with my fingers. “You have such delicate hands, Tyler. They’re so perfect. Why do you have to be so perfect?” he asked, the light from the movie screen bouncing off his eyes.

My breath caught. It always did when Dean was around. I loved him just as much as the very first day I met him. I knew I was only six back then, but I knew. It never changed. It just grew stronger the older I got.

“I wouldn’t say I’m perfect,” I whispered, his gentle touch making me shiver a little. He always knew how to make the goosebumps rise throughout me.

Dean ignored my comment and took a Hula Hoop out of his packet. He inspected the size for a moment, then turned to me with a smile. “One day, this will be a real one,” he said, placing it on my finger.

He never said a word after that. He smiled, giving me a little wink before turning his attention back to the film. I was left completely shocked and mesmerised by this one and only boy I would ever love.

The rest of that day and into the next, I never took that Hula Hoop off my finger.



*****



The next few days went by in a haze. I worked my ass off, visited Jeremy after work, and planned a little surprise I had up my sleeve. I had been working hard to get it off the ground and make sure everything was ready. I contacted the hospital and squared it with them and, out of courtesy, I contacted Social Services. I knew once Sunday came, though, I wouldn’t need to seek their permission. I just needed to make sure Jeremy was strong enough to leave the hospital.

In the past few days, my stranger didn’t visit. I was sad and angry, and I was also mad at myself for feeling sexually frustrated. I was mad that, on a couple occasions, I woke up screaming his name, my fingers playing with my wet pussy. I was unashamedly wanton for him. I craved him like my next meal. I wanted to devour him and, most of all, I wanted him to devour me. I wanted him to take me. I wanted him to fuck me until I was raw, until I was used up and spat out. I wanted anything from him he could give. He was becoming an addiction and I hated myself because of it. I hated that made me weak with need. I hated that the longing for him was becoming my obsession. And I hated him for making me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. Call it stupid, but I was quickly falling in love with this man without a face. He was all I ever wanted, all I ever thought about, and it was, quite frankly, killing me.

Louisa invited me to a Halloween party in Soho this Saturday. I’m going to go, of course, because it beats sitting around, hoping and praying he would come for me. If only there was something I could do to exact some sort of revenge for leaving me in the lurch, for making me wait, for making me hope, for making me want him here with me.



*****



On Saturday, I was getting myself ready for lunch with my mother. I hadn’t seen her for a while and was looking forward to it. My mother was something familiar and soothing right now. I needed her distraction and I needed her motherly comfort. No matter how old you get, a son or daughter will always need his or her mother.

Grabbing my keys, I left the apartment to check on my car. For some reason, I felt a pang of sorrow when I saw that it was where I left it yesterday. I was so used to coming down and seeing it parked the other way. In a sense, it kind of felt as though my stranger was abandoning me, or punishing me for something. I wished I knew what it was. I didn’t know what I would do about it, but it’s the not knowing that was driving me crazy.

Walking the twenty minutes or so, I approached the Italian bistro on High Street. I had always loved Italian food. Dean probably had a lot to do with that. His family, of Italian descent, introduced me to all sorts of Italian dishes. He told me his parents named him after the famous singer/actor, Dean Martin. It was a traditional thing to do, considering his uncle was named after a famous actor. I think it was Humphrey Bogart, but I wasn’t too sure. I had never met Dean’s uncle.

“Darling,” my mother chimed, rising out of her seat to give me a kiss. My mother, as always, looked pristine. She always kept her blonde hair immaculately tied up in a bun, her long eyelashes were always accentuated with the perfect amount of mascara. Never a hair out of place, never an imperfection to show us that she was normal. She only ever dressed in the finest designer clothes, only ever mixed with the highest of society. And who could blame her? She had worked really hard to get to where she was now. She earned fantastic money and commanded only the finest of clients…because she could. Everyone wanted her to be their lawyer. She was once nicknamed the “Rottweiler” simply because she was a vicious beast once she got in the courtroom. Her reputation was such that every other defence lawyer secretly hoped and prayed they weren’t up against her in court. She simply never loses, and I thought that was what made people cower away from her.

“Hi, Mum. How are you?” I asked, sitting down in the seat opposite her.

“I’m happy now I get to see my other favourite daughter.” She smiled. It was a lovely smile. No matter her reputation, she always had the most tender smile for me.

“So, how is life, Tyler? Met a man yet?”

Yes, I have met a man. I haven’t a clue of his real name. I don’t know what he looks like or who he really is, but he fucks like no other man out there and no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about him.

“No. No man for me as yet,” I replied with a smile.

My mother frowned a little. “What about Ian? I thought you two had this little pact going. You’ll be turning thirty soon.”

I shook my head. “Please don’t remind me.” I had another ten months to go yet, but it was the one birthday I was dreading.

“Ian’s a nice boy.”

I laughed. “He’s not a boy anymore,” I replied, thinking about the very un-boyish things he liked to do, especially once he’s had a few to drink. He was like an unstoppable force, grabbing my ass or copping a feel of my breasts.

“I always thought you two would get together, especially after Dean disappeared.”

The pain hit me as fresh as it was on the last day I ever saw Dean. On instinct, I grabbed a hold of my angel wings and stroked them, hating myself for wanting something back I never truly had.

“Why did you hate Dean so much?” I had to know. My mother and father were always pushing me towards Ian. The more they pushed, the more I rebelled. It was Dean. It was always Dean.

My mum crossed her legs. “I never hated Dean. I just thought he was a bad influence on you. Ian was always the one who had your best interests at heart. He cares for you and always has.”

I shook my head, and was about to retort when a waitress came over with two glasses and a bottle of Prosecco. “I took the liberty of ordering the Prosecco. I hope you don’t mind.” I shook my head, but I was itching to get back to our conversation.

“What would you like to order?” the waitress asked, looking from me to my mother.

“I’ll have the Spaghetti di Mare,” my mum replied.

“Molto bene,” the waitress replied with a giggle, then turned to me.

“Can I please have the Carbonara?”

Writing it all down, the waitress nodded her head. “Si, perfecto.” She took the menus from us and walked towards the kitchen.

“Don’t you think that dish is a little fattening, Tyler?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve hardly eaten a thing these last few days. I think my body could cope with a little bit of something naughty for a change.” My mum was always one to make sure no one was even remotely overweight in our house. When my sister and I were growing up, she was constantly watching what we were eating, scolding us if we wanted to eat a piece of chocolate or order a cake after a meal in a restaurant. My mother cared, but that was because she was so high maintenance.

“Why have you hardly eaten?” She frowned with concern, picking up her glass for a sip.

I did the same. “I’ve just been swamped with work and stuff. It’s no big deal.” I placed my glass back down and waited for her normal response.

“I worry about you working yourself too hard. I thought you were doing this column for yourself. Wouldn’t that help ease things a little?”

It did, but I wasn’t about to divulge all my secrets regarding Jeremy, my stranger—all the things that were keeping me inherently occupied at the moment. “It does, but I still want everything to be perfect.”

Laughing, my mother crossed her legs and leaned in a little. “You were always so devoted to anything you were interested in. Even as a child.”

I cocked my eyebrow. “Oh yeah? And I wonder where I got that from.”

My mother smiled. “Touché, Tyler. I suppose you were always going to be the fighter. It is in your genes, after all.”

I laughed a little, but the annoyance from earlier was still running through me. “So, back to where we were. Why is it so important that Ian and I get together? We’ve known each other since we were practically babies, and apart from the odd playful banter, we both know that the banter is as far as it goes. I have no interest in Ian in that way. We were, and always will be, extremely close, but I have to tell you the truth. I miss Dean. I think about him every day. I wonder what on earth happened to him and why he never returned to me.”

My mother flinched at my words. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I never realised you felt that way.”

I sighed, feeling myself relax a little. “I didn’t think it was that hard to see, Mum. I pined for him. In a sense, I still do. I know it sounds crazy, but he was my first love. Surely you remember your first love?”

My mum smiled, a hint of nostalgia in her eyes. “His name was Blake and he was considered the bad boy at my school. I was infatuated, but your grandparents couldn’t stand the boy. I guess history truly does repeat itself. But the difference for me was I grew out of the bad boy that he was and, as I got older, I started focusing on more important issues in my life. By the time I was about thirteen, I knew I was going to be a lawyer. I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of that.”

“Do you know what happened to Blake?” I asked. I never knew this side of my mother, so this was more than a little intriguing.

My mother smiled, a little mischievously. “Funny enough, Blake was my third case to trial. He was twenty-four by then, and had been in and out of prison for various things. His case was a triple burglary, and four counts of being in possession of an illegal substance. When I saw him, I thought I wouldn’t be able to get through the case. I considered dropping it, or fumbling my way through. But I was just starting out. I had won my last two cases and I wasn’t going to let anyone come between that. My career was my life.”

“So you sent him down?” I asked, eager to hear the rest.

“Yes. It didn’t help that one of the houses he robbed belonged to the mayor. I think he realised that was a huge mistake right there. He got sent to prison for fifteen years, but was out after seven.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “Wow! Didn’t you ever worry about—?”

“Revenge?” she asked, interrupting me. I nodded. “I did for a bit, but when he came out, it wasn’t long before he was back in again. It would seem that a life of crime and prison was all he was meant for. He did have his chance to seek retribution, but I kind of knew he wouldn’t do anything.”

I saw the glint in her eye, so had to ask, “Why?”

My mother took another sip of her drink. “Because he wrote to me while he was in jail. He said that being sentenced by me was the hottest and most unforgettable experience he had ever had. He said he knew he was going down, and if anybody had to do it, he was glad it was me. That he would gladly replay the case over and over in his head. That it would be the one pleasant memory he would cling onto in prison. He ended by saying he would love it if we got together again, but knew I was married with a baby on the way. He wished me only happiness.”

Wow, that was just too much to take in. It seemed instead of clinging to hate and revenge, he accepted his fate and used my mother as his idol. I didn’t blame him one little bit for that.

“That must have been a boost, knowing he must have fantasised about you, and secretly hoped that you could be together again one day.”

My mother nodded. “Of course, but Blake and I were two different people, wanting different ways of life. I respected that and so did he.”

The little devil in me had to know. “Yeah, but haven’t you ever thought about what things would have been like if you had waited for him? Haven’t you ever considered that if it wasn’t for Dad, you would have considered meeting up—even if it was just the one time?”

My mother sat back against her chair, deep in thought. “I guess a part of me always wondered what things would have been like if I had lived my life vicariously, stayed with the bad boy, and let him wickedly ruin me.” My mum raised her eyebrows, making me laugh.

“But, at the end of the day, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t have met your father. I wouldn’t have had two of the most beautiful and healthy daughters anyone could have asked for. I’m happy with my life now. Your father gives me everything I need…and more. Why would I pine for anything else?”

I nodded my head, but the wicked version of me wondered about this Blake guy. I wondered what he was doing now, and if he still thought about my mother. I bet he still did. The romantic in me wished that simply because it gave me hope that Dean still thought about me. Dean was my Blake—not that he was a bad boy. He just had this titillating way about him, a small glint of delectable wickedness…a part of which had me falling in love with him. And I thought that’s how he felt about me.

I had to sigh a little, wondering if he were married now with kids of his own. If he was married with kids, was there a day where the thought of Tyler popped into his mind? Although I would never condone another man thinking of me while being with his wife, it didn’t stop the little seed of hope that sprouted within me.

After my mother’s finished telling her story, the waitress came over with our meals. Most of the conversation after that was just small talk. My mother and father were going to visit my sister next week and were disappointed I couldn’t come. I would one day, but I just had too many things going on right now.

We left the restaurant with a hug and a promise that in two weeks, when they’re back, we would all meet up again. I was stuffed from my meal, but also a little giddy from my mother’s story. I guess, in a sense, history does repeat itself. I just wondered if I would ever find my happily ever after like my mother did. My future was filled with possibilities and uncertainty. It was scary, but also a little exciting. Lord knows what tomorrow may bring.

A little later, I took a shower and looked through my wardrobe to pick out my fancy costume for tonight. It was a little risqué for me as the skirt was rather short. It did have a cape, though, so I could hide my modesty a little. I was going as a vampire tonight. A dark princess who liked to bite and suck her victims’ blood.

I laughed a little as I thought about how apt it was, considering my stranger liked to bite me. I was sure if he could draw blood, he would. I don’t know why, but the thought of that had my heart pumping and my pussy throbbing. I never thought I would want someone to bite me, but ever since my stranger did it, I just ended up wanting more. For some reason, my orgasms just seemed more intense when he bit me. It was like the pain meshed with the pleasure, causing an undiluted force that took my breath away.

Shaking my head in dismay, I took the costume and concentrated on getting ready. I wouldn’t allow myself to think of my stranger tonight. He was obviously having some kind of tantrum, throwing his teddy in the corner and making me pay for something I hadn’t even realised I’d done. If he wanted to behave like that, I was going to let him. I refused to think about him tonight, so I did the only thing I could to forget. I got dressed, put more make-up on than I truly intended, and made my hair a mass of sexy curls. My femininity and sex appeal was going to be my revenge tonight. I refused to let myself be affected by him. He had to know he couldn’t treat me like that and get away with it. Next time he came by, if he ever did, I would refuse his advances. He had to see that Tyler O’Shea didn’t take any shit from anybody.

I just wished he could see me now. He wouldn’t know what hit him.





Chapter 24



Dean



While seeking revenge, dig two graves—one for yourself.

Douglas Horton





I followed Tyler all the way to the club. I already knew she was going and had planned accordingly. It was a good thing it was a Halloween party, so being dressed in my normal hoodie with the Mike Myers mask on would look completely normal tonight.

I parked my Challenger in a safe spot nearby and walked towards the club. It was packed, with a long line going around the building. I had already made arrangements and I would sneak in through the back. I also made arrangements for Tyler and Louisa to be let in straight away. I gave my instructions, including a picture of what she looked like, and a description of what she would be wearing. I wasn’t the son of a crime lord for nothing.

I knocked on the back door. The bouncer, Tony, a.k.a Teddy, opened it. He was a big black bald guy, with the most impressive muscles I had ever seen. I knew I was tough, but even I wouldn’t be stupid enough to go up against a guy like him. Luckily for me, he was wary of me. Everyone who knew me was wary—and that’s just how I liked it. Having people wary of you commanded respect, and everyone respected me. They had no choice—unless, of course, they wanted a bullet to the head.

“Hey, Dean. How ya doing?”

I smiled at Tony. Although he was huge, his smile gave him away. He was a teddy bear at heart—hence the nickname Teddy.

“Evening, Teddy. What’s up?” He let me though the door and closed it behind me.

“Not much,” he said with a shrug. “I’ll be on duty outside for the rest of the evening. Which reminds me. Your girl, Tyler? I take it she is in line? Is she wearing the outfit you told me about?”

I almost closed my eyes, trying not to think about it. Knowing she was dressed up in that sexy vampire outfit with the short skirt at the front, and the cape trailing behind her made my cock come to life. No matter how hard I willed it to calm, just thinking about her was all it took.

“Yes,” I stated, flatly, handing him my phone. “Here’s a picture I took of her tonight.”

Tony took the phone from me and eyed it a little too long. “Damn!” he shouted. “No wonder you want to hit that.”

Without thinking, I snatched the phone from him. For some reason, hearing him talk about her like that made my blood boil. She was mine, nobody else’s. “Just do your fucking job, Tony.”

Tony reared back a little in shock. “I’m sorry, man, I didn’t mean to offend. I’ll go find her now. You have a good evening.”

Feeling myself calm a little, I slapped his back. I had to keep a lid on my temper. I shouldn’t care if another man letched after her. “You, too, Teddy.” He was gone in an instant, and I was left to roam the place as much as I wanted. It was great to have power. It was great to command courtesy from people. I was fair—as long as people didn’t cross me.

With my mask in hand, I walked along the hallway towards one of the staff entrances to the hall. It was quiet back here, but I put that down to the fact that most of the staff were outside doing their job. The only noise I could hear was the faint sounds of “Thriller” echoing through the walls.

Facing the door, I stood there, fastening my mask and smiling at the thought of surprising Tyler tonight. She wasn’t going to expect me, so seeing me here would definitely shock her. I was counting on her observation skills to spot me. I knew she didn’t know what I looked like, but she sure knew my hoodie by now. I think I could safely say that she knew my shape by now, too. Considering those were the only things she had to go on, I was confident I wouldn’t have trouble gaining her attention.

I placed my hand on the handle and turned, hearing the music more clearly. It was blaring, but I was used to that. I practically lived in clubs as a child. Tyler never knew that side of me. She was just an innocent—at least that was what I thought. She was virtuous, untouched, pure. I never wanted her tainted by that side of my life.

Walking through the door, I let my senses take everything in. The club was filling up, the music louder, the outfits even more so. The club was dark, but the strobe lights overhead flickered across the room, illuminating all the zombie dolls and mad faces.

I made my way to the bar and ordered a beer, then ventured over to the corner to take a seat. I knew the club like the back of my hand. I knew all the entry and exit points, all the best spots to sit and watch…just like I always did.

It was another five minutes of sitting and nursing my beer before I noticed Tyler. She walked in with Louisa, her hair a mass of tight, curly waves. She had black eyeliner and bright red lipstick to accentuate her sexy vampire look. Her legs went on for miles in that skirt, and all I could think about was grabbing her, marching her out of the club, and hiding those legs from the rest of the world. Nobody should ever see her legs. They belonged to me and only me.

The green-eyed monster that raged in me suddenly calmed when she walked in and jumped out of her skin at one of the dummies to the left of her. She threw a hand over her heart and giggled along with Louisa. A sound left my own chest where, in a moment of madness, I laughed along with them.

Shit, I had to focus. She was doing her voodoo magic on me again without even fucking realizing it. She wasn’t someone to admire, to laugh with, to do the hearts and flowers thing with. She was my nemesis, my focal point for destruction—nothing else. I had to get my shit together and concentrate on the plan.

The moment she calmed, she and Louisa walked to the bar and ordered their drinks. With sickening interest, I sat there. I was practically drooling at the sight of her, and the only thing I wanted was to take her like I always did. Possess her, own her, remind her to whom she belonged. To whom she will always belong. But I also had to remind myself of the reason I was there. I had this dire need to take as much as I could from her. She needed to know there was no escape, even after I was long gone.

So, I sat and waited, biding my time, watching her as she slowly got a little tipsy. They danced, they giggled, they looked like they were having a good time. There were a few moments that guys tried to cut in and dance with her, but I was glad to see she turned them all down. Maybe I was rubbing off on her.

It wasn’t until about an hour or so in that I made my move. I emerged from the shadows, leaving my beer on the table. I wasn’t here to drink. I was here to watch. I was here to take my prize.

Tyler was a little closer to me on the dance floor than she was before. If she looked my way, she would undoubtedly see me. I watched and waited for another ten minutes as she danced and swayed to the music. She seemed a little intoxicated by the rhythm.

It was about halfway through the song that I had made arrangements to send my message. I had no doubt that she would look up the minute she heard the song.

Just as I had planned, the song came to an end and my song came blaring through the speakers. She froze and I could see her eyes widening as The Police sang “Every Breath You Take”.

On instinct, she searched the room and, just as I had planned, her eyes fell on me. I could see the sparkle of recognition in those hazel eyes of hers. They captured mine, and even though she couldn’t see me, I knew I had captured her. She knew who I was. She knew I was here to claim her.

As she watched me, I made my move around the room. I was deliberately slow so she could take in every move I made. Louisa was dancing with that Pete guy, completely oblivious.

As I circled the room like a lion ready to pounce, another animal, bordering on domestic fucking cat, stepped behind Tyler and grabbed her by the waist for a dance. I thought she was going to tell him no, like the others, but she looked at me, challengingly, and accepted the man’s advances.

My blood boiled. Every instinct in my body was telling me to rip that man’s throat apart, to cut off his fucking hands because he dared to touch what was mine.

As I gripped my fists tightly, I watched as she bore daggers into me. She closed her eyes and started swaying against him, running her fingers through his hair. I knew why she was doing this. I knew why the sudden change in heart. She was trying to punish me. I didn’t know who she thought she was, but I was certainly going to show her soon enough.

Trying to calm myself, I walked again, slowly, deliberately, edging closer and closer to my target. Tyler opened her eyes, trying to find me. When she did, she smiled coyly and carried on wiggling that gorgeous ass of hers into this jerk-offs crotch. Every part of me wanted to punch this guy’s lights out, but I think Tyler secretly hoped for a scene. She was hoping I would lose my cool. What she didn’t realise was how dangerous I really could be. I could snap this man’s neck before she could even blink. I could crush his windpipe within a fraction of a second. My hand would move so fast, she wouldn’t even register that he was dead until she gazed down and found his eyes bore no semblance of a soul.

So I moved slowly, trying to keep my pace despite the fact I was ready to blow every time this man placed a hand on her hip or trailed his fingers down her arm. I walked, just as controlled as before, until I reached my target. I tapped his back, motioning for him to beat it. He did what I thought he would and shrugged me off like I was some kind of nuisance. So, I grabbed his fingers, crushed them until I could feel the snap, and watched as his face turned bright red from the pain. I could have admired the sight for a little longer, but I had much bigger fish to fry.

Tyler turned, saw that I had my hand on his, and watched as Teddy came and took him away. To say her face looked shocked was an understatement. She knew my power now and it made my dick throb harder than ever.

Yanking her to me, I trailed my fingers up and down her arms. At first she stiffened, unable to comprehend what on earth was happening, but my touch was too powerful. It would always be too powerful for Tyler to resist.

Within an instant, she relaxed into the curve of my body, swaying to the voice of Sting telling her I’d be watching her. I’d always be watching her. And she now knew she belonged to me. Every breath she took, every step she made, every smile she faked, I’d always be there, watching her, waiting for her.

As she moved her ass into my crotch, I hissed, trying to gain back my control. With her outfit, she was acting every bit the seductive, dark princess that she truly was inside. I knew Tyler had a dark side just itching, just waiting to break through the surface. Why else would she let me into her home and let me do all the things I have done to her? She secretly loved every fucking second of it.

With a tug of her hip, I ground my cock into her ass, fisting a little of her hair. With a yank, I pulled her head back so I could see her eyes. She had them closed, but now looked up at me with a heated desire. She wanted me. She craved me. She desired me.

Trailing my hand down from her hair, I moved along the curve of her back, pushing her long cape out of the way a little. Hitching it up from the back, I reached in to find the lining of her panties and grabbed a hold of them. I looked around to make sure no one was watching, and with one quick yank, I ripped them from her body. Tyler shuddered under my touch. At last I had her. She was under my spell now.

Placing the panties into my trouser pocket, I spun her around to face me. Her face was filled with lust, her breathing was harsh, and her eyes were glazed over with want. I bet if I were to feel her now, she would be wetter than she has ever been. I had to know. I had to find out for myself.

Holding her in place, I discreetly placed my hand in between us and reached down to the crevice of her pussy. I was glad she wore such a long cloak. It made doing this without being caught that much easier.

Tyler’s eyes widened, but she never stopped me. She was way too turned on to stop me. I had the power now and she knew it. Instead, she stared up at my mask like she was boring her eyes into it, desperately trying to see the face behind it. She wouldn’t see it, though. Not tonight.

With a move of my finger, I reached in to find her clit. Tyler gasped, closing her eyes as she let me delve my fingers into her. She was wet…oh, so fucking wet. It almost made me explode myself, knowing just how fucking much she wanted this.

As carefully and as discreetly as I could, I held her tight to me as I finger fucked her pussy, trailing my thumb up and down her clit. I carried on leading her, helping her sway to the music as her resolve quickly began to crumble. I had to take charge in every way. I possessed and controlled every part of her now, and there was no way she could stop me, even if she wanted to.

I watched Tyler’s expression as an erotic frown crossed her beautiful face. She was in sweet agony under my touch. As I quickened my pace a little, Tyler bit her lip, knowing that she would come soon. I knew she was close. I wanted to feel her come on my fingers. I wanted to feel her lose control. I wanted her to trust that I could take her control and keep her safe. Here. With me. No one else.

And there was nobody else. The room was packed, filled with dancers swaying and moving to the beat of the music. Nobody cared about anybody else, and that was just how I wanted it. It was just me and Tyler. Tyler and me.

I gripped Tyler’s waist even tighter now as I could feel her moans reverberating through her chest and into mine. She was close to that breaking point.

With another finger, I applied pressure to her clit, moving and sliding over her wetness. I wanted to taste it. I wanted to lick every single drop of it up. Tyler stiffened. Every muscle in her body giving way to her orgasm as I felt her come apart around me. I could feel her pussy tightening around my fingers and that alone almost had me come undone. She bucked a little as I carried in my onslaught, but I held her in place. I wasn’t going to let her go. Not now. She was too beautiful to watch. She was almost too beautiful to tarnish. If I didn’t know any better, that was.

As I pulled my fingers out her tight, wet pussy, I held her in place as she calmed. It looked like she needed time after that. I could tell it must have been one of the most intense orgasms she ever had. I smiled a little, realizing Tyler was a secret exhibitionist. She fed off the fact that there were people around us who could have possibly been watching the whole thing. I was careful, though. I was always careful. It was what I lived off day after day. It was what I had to be. I was constantly watching over my shoulder, making sure whoever could sneak up to me would never get as far as ten feet before I struck. I wasn’t dumb enough to know there were people out there that wanted me to disappear, just like my parents. I was determined it wasn’t going to happen to me. It never would. I was simply too good at what I did.

Gazing down into Tyler’s eyes, I knew she was satisfied. She was practically humming after her orgasm. What she didn’t reaslise was I wasn’t done with her quite yet. She seemed content to stay in my arms, just rocking and moving to the music. There was a different song playing now. Another song, which could have been made for Tyler, was now blasting through the speakers. I chuckled a little as I listened the lyrics. “It always feels like somebody’s watching me” blared into my ears as Tyler looked up at me with a smile.

I couldn’t let her get too complacent with me. It was almost like I was a comfort to her now. I needed to show my authority again. I needed her to know.

With a tug of her hand, I led her away from the dance floor and back towards one of the staff exit doors. “Surely we can’t go back here,” she said, but I didn’t answer. The crippling need to bury my cock in her took over. I had to claim her body. I had to show her who was boss. She tested me tonight and she needed to know what the punishment was for that.

Still pulling at her hand, I led Tyler into a darkened storage room. It wasn’t comfortable or cosy, but it wasn’t meant to be. You could smell dampness and the faint smell of bleach from the cleaning products they kept here. I chose this room purposefully. I wanted Tyler to know she wasn’t as special as she thought she was. I could still use her. Just enough to piss her off, but not so much that she completely turned away from me. I had her now and she knew it. I could virtually do whatever the hell I liked to her and she would let me.

With her breathing harsh, Tyler looked around the room with distasteful interest. She inhaled, no doubt catching the aroma. Eventually, though, curiosity got the better of her as she turned to face me. “Do you own this club or something? Why is it you seem to command such power? That man out there, and the security guard—”

I placed my finger to her lips, stopping her incessant questions. “Take off your cloak,” I demanded.

Tension sizzled in the air. Her eyes squinted and I knew she was having a debate in her head. Her body wanted to do as instructed, but her head was yelling at me to fuck off. When she didn’t comply, I stepped closer. “Take. The. Cloak. Off.” I was more than demanding it. I was commanding.

A hint of a gasp left her lips as I watched her chest rise and fall. She wanted me to fuck her. My fingers only weren’t enough to soothe that dying need inside of her. She ached for this. She lived for this.

Her stranger.

Her Lotus.

I waited, thinking I would have to take action myself and rip it from her, but Tyler surprised me. Her hand rose to her neck, pulling at the string. The cloak fell to the floor and an involuntary growl left my lips. Tyler shuddered a little. Even the sound of my voice affected her.

My cock sprang to life. I thought I would have to work harder to ruin the dark princess before me, but it looked as though I already had. She was mine. Utterly, totally, incomprehensibly mine. I wanted to grab her and fuck her harder than she had ever been fucked in her life.

I looked around the room and spotted a table in the corner. “Get over there and bend over…now.”

To my surprise again, she complied, walking towards the table and bending over to show that gorgeous ass of hers again. I walked towards her and almost circled her again, like she was my prey. I had to take in the sight. She was magnificent to watch. Her body almost quivered and quaked with need. She ached for me to touch her. The intensity was like a rich aroma, taking my sense of smell into overdrive. She was desperate for me and the thought had my cock acting on autopilot.

I approached from behind, hitching up that small skirt of hers. I circled my hand on her ass with slow deliberation. “You didn’t dance with any man tonight until you saw me. Why?” I kept on circling as I waited for her answer. Her breathing was still harsh. She didn’t know what the hell I was about to do to her and it had her body shivering with desire.

“I can dance with who—”

I slapped her ass hard, noting that her yelp of discomfort was laced with arousal. I patted her behind and carried on my circular motion. “Shall we try that again?” I asked. “Why did you dance with that man knowing I was watching you?”

Her eyes closed for a brief moment, her breathing even more erratic than ever. “Fuck you,” she seethed through her teeth.

I felt her tense, so she knew it was coming. She wanted this. She knew she would be punished if she didn’t answer the question, so she was deliberately provoking me. What a kinky little bitch you are, Tyler O’Shea.

The sound of the smack echoed around the room as Tyler desperately tried stifling her moan. It was no use, though. Her body was eager to betray her.

“Tyler, I am disappointed in you. You need to stop fighting me and tell me the truth. I know why you did it. I just want to hear it from that gorgeous mouth of yours.” Fisting her hair, I yanked her up towards me and rubbed my throbbing cock onto her ass. She closed her eyes with a moan, letting me savour her dying need for me.

“Did you want that jerk-off to fuck you?” I hissed into her ear. “Did you want that fucker’s hands on you?” Putting my hand on her breast, I cupped and squeezed her nipple, feeling them hard and ready for me.

“Please,” Tyler moaned again. She was desperate for me to take her.

Reaching down to her ass, I gave it a little stroke before spanking her again. “Wrong fucking answer, Tyler.” I gripped her tightly to me, hand still fisted in her hair. “Did you want that man to fuck you?”

“No,” she breathed, an air of longing in her voice.

My hand found her breast again as I fondled and played with her nipple. Leaning closer to her ear, I closed my eyes for a second, savouring her coconut scent. “Why not, Tyler?” I whispered, puckering her erect nipple with my fingers

“Because,” she moaned again under my touch, but I couldn’t lose her just yet.

I reached down and slapped her one more time. “Because why, Tyler?”

She roared like the caged tiger I knew she was. “Because I want you to fuck me. I always want you to fuck me!” Her eyes blazed with wanton fury, setting off a burning inside of me. Crippling need took over as I unzipped my trousers and let my cock spring to life. I almost sighed with relief. It had been aching to get out all night. It had been searching for its release, and I was about to give it to him.

Tyler moaned, knowing full well what was happening behind her. I didn’t envisage touching her down there to see if she was even wet, but the gentleman in me had to know she was ready. I reached down and, sure enough, she was soaking wet.

“You’re going to receive your punishment now,” I stated.

Tyler tried to turn, but I held her in place. “What is that supposed to mea—?”

I didn’t let her finish. I plunged my cock inside of her, watching as her eyes sprung wide open, and her lips parted with a groan.

I knew what she was thinking. I was going to do this another time, but seeing as she behaved the way she did tonight, I felt the punishment was quite fitting. She was wondering how fucking her was a punishment at all. It wasn’t, but she would see afterwards what I meant by that.

“Oh god,” she whimpered as I thrust myself into her again. I didn’t mean to, but my grip loosened in her hair and it was only when she stuttered out a “no” that I realized she liked it.

Fisting her hair tighter, I yanked as I plunged deeper inside her. Every emotion in me tried to shut down, but it was no use. I could feel her. It was almost as if she was made for me. She was so tight, so warm, so fucking delectable around my cock, I couldn’t possibly hold back the growl that escaped my lips.

Tyler shuddered again, making me pump faster and harder. I tried to stay focused because I had to stay focused, but every instinct in my body was telling me to let go and just feel her. Enjoy her. Take her like she wanted to be taken. I couldn’t possibly let my emotions get the better of me. Yes, I had to take her pleasure, but I couldn’t turn it into a longing for her. I didn’t long for Tyler. I only needed her for my own twisted desires.

Grabbing her hip with one hand, I pulled her against me, using leverage from the one fisted in her hair. She had no other choice but to let me take full control and completely possess her. “Who do you belong to, Tyler? Who is the only person allowed to touch you?” I rammed myself into her to emphasise my point. Tyler cried out.

I kept going. I kept pushing my cock deeper and deeper into her wetness. I wanted to crawl inside it. I wanted to consume every inch of her.

“Who do you belong to, Tyler!” I demanded again, feeling a familiar sensation taking over me. I couldn’t come. Not yet.

I yanked at her again and Tyler let out strangled cry. “Oh, god! I’m going to come!” she screamed.

“Tyler!” I shouted, demanding that she tell me.

“Lotus!” she screamed as her pussy tightened around me. “I am yours, Lotus! I’m fucking yours!”

The sensory overload took over. She felt so good, squeezing my cock with her climax. She sounded good screaming my name, telling me she belonged to me. It was all too much. With one last grip of her hips, I roared, pounding my own orgasm into her.

I breathed out, trying to spark my body into action. I had to get out of there. I couldn’t stay there with her, basking in the calm of both our orgasms. Tyler was spent. Her eyes closed, she practically hugged the table with both hands as her own breathing tried to calm.

A small, evil smirk lifted my lips as I stared at her. She looked beautifully broken, and it was all caused by me. She would probably hate herself after this. I bet she had never let anyone treat her like that before. Not only that, I bet she has never asked anybody to treat her like that. She loved it, and I bet she was going to hate me for it.

Pulling out of her, I tucked myself in and zipped myself up before it was too late. There was something else she was going to hate me for now. Her punishment. And I knew it was going to be a while before she forgave me after this.

Just to add salt to the wounds, I smacked her gorgeous derriere one last time before turning for the door.

“Lotus?” I heard her questioning as I turned the handle. “Lotus!” she shouted as I walked out the door.

That was wicked of me and I knew it, but I still couldn’t help the smile that crept up on my face. For the first time since this little venture of mine started, I felt like I had achieved something.

I would still have Tyler O’Shea watched tonight. I would make sure she got home safe. I wasn’t that much of a bastard. But as far as having my fill of her? I think, for this evening, I was done.





Chapter 25



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 1998





“Marco!” I shouted, trying to find my way around.

“Polo!” I heard both Dean and Ian shout back. I giggled. I couldn’t help it. This seemed like such a childish game for someone my age. I was thirteen, practically a woman. Well, a teenager, at least.

“Marco!” I shouted again, frustrated and scared that I didn’t know what was within my reach. I was frightened I might fall, or bump into something that would hurt me. Then again, Dean was there. I knew I could always trust him to protect me. He would be there for me, care for me. My best friend in the whole world. It was hard to think that because we had Ian in our little unit. We have all been friends for seven years. Dean was, and will always be, my favourite, but I couldn’t let Ian know that. It would hurt his feelings. I knew I wouldn’t like it if one of them favoured the other over me.

“Polo!” they both shouted, as I acted on the only sense I had. My ears pricked, telling me they were both behind me. Dean seemed to be closer, but I really couldn’t tell.

Smiling, I kept going. I took one step, then two, desperately feeling around me for something to grab onto.

“Marco!” I shouted again, feeling my adrenaline spike up a notch. I really wanted this over so someone else could take my place.

“Polo!” I heard them bellow out. I could tell Dean was within my reach now. With an adrenaline rush, I lunged towards his voice in the hope I wouldn’t trip. I caught him, or I thought I did.

“Tyler, I underestimated you. You were being so timid right up until that point.”

I giggled. “Not such a sissy girl after all, am I?”

I felt Dean’s hand rise up and I thought he was going to undo the bandana across my eyes, but he tenderly stroked my cheek instead. I sucked in a breath and held it as my heart started beating frantically. I wanted to melt my body into that touch. I wanted to reach up and cup his hand with mine, stroke him tenderly like he was stroking me. Instead, I just stood there, trying to hide the moan that wanted to escape my lips.

Feeling him tenderly stroke my bottom lip with his thumb, I gasped. “I never said you were, beautiful,” he replied before giving me my sight back.



*****



I felt like I had been used and abused, but wasn’t that what I wanted? Was I not encouraging him to slap me about and pull my hair? Who was this Tyler O’Shea? Who did she belong to, and why did she have the most explosive orgasm of her life because of it?

These questions, and many more, circled around in my head. I was left with a barrage of emotions that swam through me. I was obsessed with my stranger because I was just as sick and twisted as he was. I knew what we had was completely unconventional. I knew what we had could never last, but I still couldn’t help the fact my body called out to him. Night after night, I sought after him, waiting and hoping he would come to me. Unsuccessfully, I tried to gain back some control tonight, but all he did was squash it down with a flick of his hand. Who was this man that commanded so much power? Who, with a snap of his fingers, had everyone bending to his will? I suppose I could find out who he was now. He was obviously well-known in this club, which meant one of two things. One, owned the club, or two, he knew the owners very well. At least I could do some digging around to see if I could get some answers.

I sighed a little, thinking how undignified I must look hunched over this table after I’d just been fucked by a man without a face. What was wrong with me? And why did he just up and leave so fucking soon after he came?

It was then that lightning struck. He said he wanted to punish me. Sex with my stranger was always intense, but tonight it felt more real for some reason. More electric. Not only that, why did I feel something inside me when he came?

Standing up, I felt a little woozy, but held onto the desk for support. The orgasm was still humming through my body, telling me to take stock. But I couldn’t stay forever. I needed to get out of there.

It wasn’t until I fully stood up that I felt something wet trickling down my leg. I gasped, holding a hand over my mouth. I didn’t need to feel it to know what was now trailing a line down the inside of my thigh.

Looking down, I saw it and instinctively wiped it away with my hand. I needed the bathroom, a tissue, anything just to clean myself up.

As I was looking at the sticky texture in my hands, I caught a small whiff and almost fainted. He came inside of me? My stranger punished me by not wearing a condom!

Shit, now what was I supposed to do? What if he had diseases? What if he had HIV, or worse? Was he not thinking the same of me? But, then again, if he did have HIV, would he care whether I did or not?

“Fuck!” I shouted. I was panicking. I had to think rationally about this. Just for my own peace of mind, I would get tested. It was as simple as that. Would he really be that sick that if he was diseased, he would deliberately not wear one? He wanted to punish me. Maybe he thought my panic would be my punishment. He was probably laughing at me, knowing full well I would be going out of my head with worry. I was, but I had to try and think about this logically. He liked to play games. This was just another one to add to the list. It was sick and twisted, but it was a game. Pure and simple.

With my panic easing, I walked towards my cloak and picked it up. I dusted it off and threw it on in the hopes of concealing what it was that just happened in here. There had to be a toilet somewhere close by that the staff used. It might be better if I used a staff one anyway. I needed privacy so I could clean myself up a bit.

Timidly, I turned the handle and opened the door to hear the muffled sound of music. I had been a little tipsy tonight, but after what had just happened, I immediately sobered up. I couldn’t believe I let him touch me in the club within full view of everyone. But, above all, I couldn’t believe just how fucking turned on it made me. Everything that man did surprised and turned me on. I never had this kind of experience with anyone before. Well, there was Dean, but I was younger then and not as sexually mature as I was now. This man—my stranger—made my knees weak, my body hot, my insides churn, and my belly dance all at the same time. As well as becoming my obsession, he was also becoming my addiction, and it was beginning to frighten me beyond repair.

After walking down the dark hallway, I came to a door that read “Staff Toilet”. I was a little apprehensive about walking inside. What if there was someone in there? I wasn’t sure whether I would get in trouble for being back here or not.

“Excuse me, miss.”

The voice startled me. Spinning around, I saw the big guy that let Louisa and I into the club in front of everyone else. “You need help with anything?” He smiled. Despite his size, he definitely didn’t intimidate me.

“I’m sorry. I’m a little lost. I just really needed to use the bathroom. I hope that’s okay.”

The big guy nodded, showing me perfectly white teeth. “Sure, but you must head back to the club once you’re done. You really shouldn’t be back here.”

I smiled at him shyly. “I know. I’m sorry. I think I just got led astray.” There was a hidden meaning in that sentence and I think the big guy knew it. His cheeky smile said it all.

“I hear ya,” he said, winking at me. “I’ll wait for you to finish what you need to do, then I can escort you back into the club. You should be safe back here, but you never know when the odd clubber could come out here, sniffing for trouble.”

It should have either irked me or scared me to think about him standing out here waiting for me as I cleaned myself up, but I was quite grateful actually. I also needed to ask him questions, but the longer I stayed out here, the more conscious I was that he could smell the sex coming from me.

I nodded, and went inside. Luckily, the toilets looked clean, and they smelled a damn sight better than the storeroom Lotus took me into.

Why on earth was I calling him Lotus when it obviously wasn’t his name? And what kind of name was that? I knew that was an avenue I needed to explore at some point, but I had to get cleaned up first.

Grabbing some tissues, I went to work trying to rid myself of any possible smell. Once I had finished, I looked at myself in the mirror. Shit, it looks as though I’ve been royally fucked! My hair was all tangled and misshapen from Lotus yanking it. My lipstick was a little smudged, but I couldn’t figure out how…considering he never kisses me!

Shit, what must I have looked like to that bouncer out there? No wonder he was smiling at me the way he was. I had no doubt he knew exactly what went on back there, yet he turned a blind eye. This, amongst other things, I needed to find out.

Cleaning myself up as much as I could, I checked myself in the mirror one last time before venturing out. Sure enough, big guy was standing about six feet away from the door, leaning against the wall. “Feeling better?” he asked with a crooked smile.

I smiled back. “Yes, thanks.”

He stood up and motioned for me to go in front of him. “After you, Miss O’Shea.”

And there it was. My confirmation he knew exactly who my stranger was. When he saw I didn’t move, he frowned. I smiled at him a little, then started walking.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Tony, ma’am, but people call me Teddy.”

Pulling my head back a little, I looked up at him. “Is that because you look like a big teddy bear?”

Tony chuckled. “Yes, ma’am.”

Considering he seemed relaxed, I went in for the kill. “Tell me, Tony. Who is he?”

Tony stiffened, knowing exactly who I meant. There was something else I saw when he stiffened. It was a hint of fear in his eyes. How could someone this big and strong-looking be so frightened at the mere mention of my stranger?

“I’m not sure who you mean, ma’am.”

I shook my head, tut-tutting at him. “Come on, Tony. We’re not strangers here. Call me Tyler. You already know it anyway.”

His eyes widened a little and I saw the distinct bob in his Adam’s apple before he spoke, “I’m just a bouncer here, Tyler.”

He smiled, but I knew he was getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute with this conversation. I didn’t like pressing him, but I couldn’t help it. “You deliberately picked me and my friend above the whole line of people outside the club. You were there within an instant when he hurt that man’s hand. You took him away. No questions asked. Not even a word to the man I was with. It’s because you know him. It’s because he told you to do all this. Isn’t it, Tony?”

His pace quickened as he halted outside a door. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I don’t know what you mean.” He placed his hand on the handle and was about to turn it when I stopped him. Tony looked up, fear in his eyes.

“I’m sorry I’m asking you this. You are obviously afraid of him. I can tell. Just please tell me one thing and I’ll go. Should I be afraid?”

Tony closed his eyes. I could tell he was having a huge debate in his head about whether he should divulge anything. I thought he was just going to shrug me off, push me out of the door, but he surprised me.

“I’m not sure what he wants with you, Tyler. It’s really none of my goddamned business. But I will tell you one thing. Just be careful. Okay?”

I nodded with a smile, grateful to Tony that he gave me that. When he knew there was no more to add, he opened the door and gestured for me to enter.

Squeezing his hand a little, I mouthed Thank you, and headed out the door. Shit, my head was spinning. After five minutes with the bouncer, I learned that not only was he powerful, he was dangerous.

But just how dangerous was he?





Chapter 26



Dean



Revenge proves its own executioner.

John Ford





I went back home to my guests, and the party I had long planned for tonight. It was only ten o’clock and I’m sure they wouldn’t have missed me much. I had to have them here tonight as witnesses. Something was going down later and I had to make sure all my avenues were covered.

Parking my Dodge Challenger in the garage, I ventured into the kitchen where I knew Humphrey would be waiting for me. Sure enough, he was standing by the kitchen island, pacing. He looked anxious and I knew why.

The minute I shut the door, Humphrey’s head snapped up. I immediately saw the mixture of relief and anger on his face. “Fucking hell, Dean. What’s taken you so long? Why the fuck did you decide that tonight, of all nights, you fuck off to chase the girl?”

I sighed, throwing the keys on top of the island. “It’s okay, Uncle. I have it covered. She’s putty in my hands now.” I smiled wickedly, showing him just how relaxed I was.

“You’re losing your shit, Dean. She’s getting into your head, just like you said you weren’t going to let happen.”

I had enough. I banged my fist on the countertop. “Enough!” That gained his attention. I certainly wasn’t going to let him speak to me like that. I didn’t care if he was family. “I am not losing my shit, Humphrey. She was going out tonight and I saw it as my opportunity. It was bad timing, I know, but I got the ultimate prize in the end. She’s crumbling, Humphrey. I can sense it already.”

Shaking his head, Humphrey ran his hands through his greying hair. “As long as you don’t go down with her, Dean. You’ve worked too hard for this. You can’t let anyone see you weak. It was stupid of you to go out when all this shit is about to go down tonight. Not only that, but what if she starts sniffing around the club, asking questions? Have you even thought of that, Dean? What if someone blows your fucking cover after years of setting this whole thing up?”

I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and took a long swig. “You underestimate me, old man. No one will talk. I can guarantee it.”

Humphrey closed his eyes for a moment. “Yeah, well, you better be right. I would hate to think you cocked up this whole operation just for a bit of pussy.” I shook my head, smiling. Humphrey smiled right back. “And less of the old man, asshole.”

I shook my head again, knowing Humphrey had calmed down a little. “So, how have the guests been?”

He threw his hands in the air. “As well as can be expected. They’ve just eaten, but were wondering where you were. Especially our special guest, Chief Superintendent Carmichael.”

Shit, I’d forgotten about him. He was my star guest simply because I needed him if the shit hit the fan tonight and the police came calling. “Don’t worry about him. I’ll go out there now and see to the old fart. I’m sure introducing him to one of my girls this evening will perk him up.”

Humphrey nodded, but still didn’t look one hundred percent happy about the whole thing. I guess I shouldn’t have gone tonight. I was about to do something that demanded my full attention, and the more witnesses, the better.

Just as I thought this, my phone chimed. I flicked it open and looked at the message. “It’s Jimmy. He’s on his way there.”

Humphrey sighed. “Well, you better get your ass out there now before he gets there.”

I saluted him. “Yes, sir!” Humphrey was so paranoid at times.

“I swear to fuck that you’re so laid back, I’m surprised you’re not lying horizontal all the time.”

I swigged the rest of my water and threw the bottle in the bin as I headed for the door. “Everything happens for a reason, Humphrey. What’s the point in getting stressed out about things? If they happen, they happen. Just let nature take its course.”

Humphrey patted my back. “You and this karma shit. I think you’ve let it all go to your head. What man in their right mind gets a flower drawn on their shoulder?”

I turned to him with a scowl. “Hey, it’s a lotus flower. Besides, are you saying I’m a fucking pussy?”

“Nah, I’m saying you’re a chump.” He smiled at me triumphantly.

“You might be older than me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take you on, old man.” I was teasing him again and he knew it. He hated it when I called him old.

“Just fucking go, will ya? You’re really starting to piss me off.”

Laughing, I opened the door to the hallway. I quickly called Jimmy back, then rang a couple of my girls to come over as quickly as they could. I had no doubt they would be here within the hour.

Pulling off my hoodie, I placed it on the rack by the door and wandered over to the lounge. No doubt all my guests would be drinking, well on their way to sharing secrets they would regret in the morning. I couldn’t be like them. Drink only deludes the mind. I could never get drunk. It just places you in a vulnerable position, and this was exactly what was wrong with this chump that Jimmy’s on his way to get now. Too much booze and pussy. He was weak and needed to be put out of his fucking misery once and for all.

Sex, drugs, and alcohol will always sell, and I could offer people plenty of that. This was the advantage I had tonight. I had a horny, drunk chief superintendent sitting amongst others in the lounge, probably bragging about his status. The man made me sick, but he was serving his purpose tonight. I was going to make sure I paid him generously for being here.

Sure enough, as I walked in, Carmichael was at the centre of the show, a glass of my finest scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other. “Catching scumbags is what I live for. I’ve been doing my job for twenty years now and have earned every fucking stripe.”

Everyone turned when they saw me, but Carmichael was the last to look. “Hey, Deaney, my boy. How are you, son? I’ve just been wondering where you were.”

The man was pathetic. He made my skin crawl. I would love nothing more than to grab my folding knife and cut his fucking tongue out. Instead, I smiled eagerly and took my seat next to the old fart. “Sorry. I had, um…women problems, shall we say.”

Everyone laughed, but carried on with their discussions. Carmichael leaned in with a wink. “Did you manage to sort her out?”

The man was a fucking perv, but I had to give him what he wanted. I was sure that’s exactly what he was here for anyway. “I gave her enough so that she won’t complain for a little while. Let’s put it that way.”

Carmichael patted me on the back. “That’s my boy. That’s my boy.”

“I’m sorry I was so late. She was at Buddies, so it took a little longer than I imagined.”

Carmichael raised his eyebrow. “Buddies, eh? There’s normally some fine pussy at that club.”

I nodded with a smirk. “That there is, Aidan. That there is.”

“So, what have you been doing with yourself lately?”

That was one thing about Carmichael. He was a nosey bastard. No doubt he knew I wasn’t in the most legal of empires, but he would always ask me the same question in the hopes he would catch me. I never told him anything he didn’t need to know. I just told him what I thought was enough to keep his fucking big gob shut.

So, I sat there and told him about some property I was thinking of buying in Europe now that the collapse was here. If you had the cash and could afford to sit on them for a while, I knew there were some bargains to be had in places like Spain, Italy, or France. I knew this would all bore him, but that’s exactly what I wanted. It would make the surprise coming up all the more special for him.

It was roughly around forty-five minutes later that Humphrey came in and whispered in my ear, “The girls have arrived, and they’re waiting in the other lounge.”

I smiled up at him, then across at Carmichael. “Excellent. Aidan, I have a little surprise for you. I’m sure you’re going to love it.”

Just as I thought, his drunken grin surfaced like the cat that got the fucking cream. “What are you going to show me?” he asked, licking his lips.

“You’ll see. I can guarantee it will be good. Let Humphrey lead the way and I will be there in one minute.”

He nodded, getting up from his seat, and left. I turned my attention to the others in the room and excused myself. “Stay and drink as much as you like. I just have some business with Mr. Carmichael to attend to.” Everyone nodded, not caring much. As long as they got the free food and drink, they didn’t much care about anything else. Life sucking assholes, the lot of them. But, unfortunately, I had to put up with them because they served a purpose.

Just as I was on my way to the other lounge, the expected text came through.

We have him ready for you. Whenever you’re ready.

I typed a response.

Be there in thirty. Hold fire.

I opened the door to the lounge and, sure enough, Carmichael was sitting on one of my chairs, Samantha on one knee and Katie on the other. Samantha was always the favourite as she had long blonde hair and big double E breasts. What made her so unique was that she was natural. I liked all my girls to be as natural as possible. Katie, on the other hand, was a brunette. She had smaller breasts, but they were big enough to cup in one hand. That’s all a man really needed. Anything more was just greedy. That’s what I loved about Tyler’s breasts. They just fit perfectly in my hands. They were silky soft with the most beautiful nipples. Just thinking about her got me hard. And, tonight, I needed to play the perfect role of a horny host.

“Aidan, I see you’re getting to know my girls already,” I smirked. I sat down in the opposite chair and watched as Carmichael drooled over these two women. They were gorgeous. Way out of his league, but that’s what made it more exciting for him.

Katie was playing her role well, nibbling on his ear and playing with his chest. Samantha had her hand on his belly as she caressed his hair with the other.

“They’re simply delicious,” he stated and the girls giggled.

“I can more than guarantee you’ll love them, Aidan. Katie, here, can suck you harder than any fucking hoover out there, and Samantha has a pussy I swear is made of fucking gold.”

Both girls gasped, but giggled again, playing their roles very well. I had no idea if this was true, but I had heard from very satisfied customers that this was the case. That was why I picked them both for tonight. I had to make sure he was kept occupied for a couple of hours.

“So you’ve sampled them for yourself?” Carmichael asked, a glazed look of lust hanging over his hooded eyes. He looked at Katie, licking his lips.

Noticing this, I motioned for Samantha to come over to me. She diligently complied and sat on my knee. With a tug of her head, I kissed her gently and massaged her breast. She moaned under my touch. I knew she was enjoying it but, truth be told, I was getting nothing out of it myself. She had nothing on Tyler.

Stop thinking about Tyler, you pussy. Maybe you should just fuck Samantha so you can get her out of your head!

I didn’t need this right now. I had to get my shit together and concentrate on the task at hand. I pulled away, smiling up at Samantha before turning my attention to Carmichael. He was watching with a heated level of interest. I could tell he was getting off on this.

“I’ve sampled and I’ve loved so much that I keep coming back for more.” I smiled across at Carmichael, then turned my attention to Samantha.

“Samantha, take your top off. Show this lovely gentleman your wonderful assets.”

Samantha smiled, got off my lap, and unbuttoned her blouse. The whole time, I was looking across at Carmichael, but all he had eyes for was Samantha. He licked his lips again, a bead of sweat forming at his brow. The horny fucker would come in his pants if he didn’t calm down.

Samantha stood, her pert breasts staring back at Carmichael. “Come here, Samantha. I want to reward you for being such a good girl.” She did as she was told and took a seat on my lap again. I immediately sprang, latching my mouth on her nipple. Samantha moaned and threw her head back. I knew she had always wanted this from me, but I never as much as touched her hand, let alone sucked her nipple.

“Dean,” she breathed, fisting her fingers through my hair. Fuck, I wanted to hear Tyler call me by my name when I fucked her.

Pushing that thought away, I hitched Samantha’s skirt up and exposed her pussy to both Carmichael and Katie. “Isn’t she beautiful?” I purred, trying hard to keep up with my role. Every instinct was telling me to finger fuck Samantha, give her what she wanted, just so I could prove to myself that Tyler wasn’t getting to me. But I wouldn’t normally touch Samantha under any other circumstances, so why would I now?

Fuck this shit! That damn fucking voodoo woman with her magic pussy was playing tricks with me again. All I wanted to do was shove Samantha off me and get the fuck out of there.

“Yes, she is,” Carmichael answered, breathing heavier than ever. I knew this was enough. I had him hook, line, and sinker. Not that he needed much encouragement. I could have asked Katie over to put on a little show for our chief superintendent, but I had more urgent, pressing matters to attend to. Now was my time to act.

“Aidan, would you like to go somewhere a little more private so you can get more acquainted with Katie? To be honest, I am just dying to reacquaint myself with Samantha.” I smiled cheekily towards him and slapped Samantha’s ass. She jumped, giggling again, and that had the smile turn up a notch on Carmichael.

“I would love to,” he growled, staring up at Katie with nothing but lust in his eyes.

With a tap on Samantha’s ass, she got up. I sat up with her, holding her hand. “If you’ll excuse me, Mr. Carmichael,” I said with a smile, heading for the door. “Katie, could you take Mr. Carmichael to room thirty-six?” She nodded, but still sat on Carmichael’s lap. “Aidan, when I’ve finished with Samantha, would you like it if I sent her to your room?”

He smiled like a fucking Cheshire cat. I was beginning to think he thought all his Christmases and birthdays had been wrapped up into one day.

“If her pussy is made out of gold like you said, then fuck, yeah!” he boomed.

I chuckled, but felt sick to my stomach. Time to end this charade. “Samantha, after you,” I said, motioning her to the door. She walked through, blouse in hand, tits bouncing as she went. For any man, this would be the turn-on of the century, but for me, she did nothing to raise the beast.

Once we were in the hallway, I grabbed Samantha’s blouse and offered to place it back on. She diligently complied, turning around with a smile.

“Thank you for playing your part,” I said, pulling the arms of her blouse up. “If you wouldn’t mind, go hide out in room thirty-four. Give it about an hour, then leave to see to Carmichael. I have to go.”

She nodded and I turned to leave, then I felt her hand on my arm. “Dean, if you fancy carrying on later where you left off, I would be more than happy to visit you. Just give me a place and time, and I’ll be there.”

I shook my head with a smile. “I don’t touch any of my women, Samantha. Rule number one.”

Walking towards me, she placed her finger on my lips. “You touched me tonight,” she purred, trailing her finger along my lips. “I liked it and I want more.”

I stepped away, motioning for the stairs. “That was just a one-time thing, Samantha. Now, do as you’re told and get up the stairs before Carmichael and Katie come out here. I have somewhere I need to be.”

I walked off, noting that Samantha was going up the stairs with a not-too-pleased expression on her face. This was one of the reasons I never touched my girls. They could get clingy, which would complicate matters. When I did fuck girls, I made sure I vetted them beforehand. And I also made sure they knew it would only be a one-time affair. I never fuck a woman more than once. It had been my motto since I was eighteen. Well, it was until I met Tyler again. She was the exception to the rule. She was my puppet for revenge.

Walking through the garage, I took the keys of the hook for the Aston Martin Vanquish. I felt like I needed style for today. Something sleek and soothing to help me relax before what I was about to do.

“Taking the Vanquish this time?” Humphrey noted from the shadows, as I placed one foot in the car.

“I feel like I need the change. Be back in forty-five minutes.” He nodded, I got in and, with one click of the button, the garage door opened. I drove a little forward and, just before I left, I looked out the open window at Humphrey. “Make sure all our guests are taken care of, old man.”

With that, I sped off, noticing Humphrey scowling, throwing something in my direction. I laughed, but soon had to concentrate on the task at hand. Pulling out my phone, I rang Jimmy. “Jimmy, is he still ready for me?”

I heard him laugh, then a smack. A cry came reverberating through the phone. “Yep. I’m keeping him warm for you.”

“Good. I’ll be there in fifteen.” Tossing my phone onto the passenger seat, I pressed my foot on the accelerator, listening to the purr of the V8. It got me every time. It was hard not to resist closing my eyes and just giving in to that sound.

The cold coming in through the window filled my nostrils and invaded my lungs. I needed this now—this bite. I needed to keep alert, stay focused. I had been planning this for years and I was finally getting my ultimate revenge.

Once I pulled up outside the warehouse, I flicked open my glove compartment and pulled out my knife. It had a nice serrated edge, and I was going to use it to my full advantage tonight.

As I stepped out of the car, the smell of pollution from the River Thames hit with a pungent force. In a sense, it soothed me, knowing this was where Antonio Pinzano’s final resting place would be. He deserved to rot in a polluted river, as he was just polluted as it was.

Feeling my breath hitch with adrenaline, I walked over to the sliding door and pulled it open, saying hello to Nicky as I went. I walked in and the smell of burning flesh hit me. I could never get over that smell. No matter how used to it I was, it still caused me to gag.

I breathed it in, forcing it down my throat so I could get used to the smell quicker. It never left you, though…even long after you had left the dead.

I walked up the stairs to the landing and all was quiet…until I heard the hissing sound of a hot poker on skin. A voice cried out in Italian, screaming that Jimmy was a fucking asshole. I had to laugh at that. Even after all this time of being tortured, Pinzano still tried to show some balls. The thing was, he wouldn’t have any left once I was done with him.

When I walked in, Pinzano was hanging upside down over a burning pit. Most of his hair had been singed away, causing blisters to form at the top of his head. The smell was worse up here, but I forced down the urge to gag. I didn’t know how Jimmy managed it. He looked as cool as a cucumber.

As he hung there, I watched the blood dripping from all the various burns and cuts that Jimmy had inflicted on him. With each drip, the fire hissed, causing the flames to burn brighter. That certainly wasn’t good news for Mr. Pinzano.

“Ah, our star guest has arrived, Mr. Pinzano. You will be pleased.” Jimmy beamed towards me, and Antonio Pinzano strained against his restraints. He couldn’t see me because he was blindfolded. I requested that. I wanted to be up close when he finally saw me. I wanted to be up close when I stared into the eyes of the man who ordered my parents’ deaths. To see the shock and the fear in his eyes when he realized who was behind his sudden kidnapping.

To be honest, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. His love of alcohol and women was ultimately his demise. I got one of my girls, Serena, to coax him to a flat nearby that I owned. I hardly ever used it and it was in a perfect spot to plan my revenge. I never wanted the flat. It was just a strategic buy. That was how long I had been planning this day. Pinzano was becoming weak and predictable. He was using the same bar time and time again. He picked up women and left his men outside whilst he went in to fuck them. He was getting complacent but, just like always, I was watching him. For years, I studied his daily routine and quickly picked up his pattern. Ultimately, it was his downfall.

“How is S?” I asked, meaning Serena.

“She’s fine. She parked her pretty little ass on his lap and he was gone. Apparently, he couldn’t get his dick out fast enough once she got him back to the flat. It was just as well I turned up when I did. I think she found him revolting.” He laughed and I chuckled along with him. I should imagine a lot of my girls felt like that most of the time. I never forced them. I just asked that if they weren’t up for the job, they should leave. They always had the right to refuse a client. I just asked that they had a decent reason why.

I calmed and took a look at Pinzano hanging there, practically burning alive. Every now and then, he would whimper or howl as the burns got to be too much. It was time to put him out of his misery.

Crouching down, I gazed at the face of the man who ruined my life. Raising my hand, I untied the bandana from around his eyes, getting ready to look into them one last time.

Once it was off, Pinzano blinked a few times, then his gaze settled on me. He frowned, trying to place who I was, but then a spark of recognition flared. There it was. That look I had been waiting to see for the last thirteen fucking years. The euphoria inside felt like nothing I had ever experienced.

“Pinzano, you sick fuck. How the devil are you?” I smiled like he was my long-lost friend.

“You!” he cried, although it was pained. “I should have sent my men to look for you that night.”

I nodded. “Yes, you should have. You underestimated that skinny, fragile-looking boy. Not so skinny and fragile now, am I?”

“Mi metterò per questa (I will get you for this)!”

I shook my head, tut-tutting as I took my knife out. “That’s no way to greet the boy whose parents you took away from him, is it? But I’ll let you in on a little secret, shall I? You won’t be getting me at all. And do you know why? Because in approximately, say, five minutes time, you will be dead.”

“You fucking asshole!”

I looked up at Jimmy and shook my head. “He’s not happy, is he, Jimmy?”

Jimmy shook his head, smiling. “No, boss. He’s not happy at all.”

Turning back to look at Pinzano, I frowned. “Do you think I should try and put a smile on his face?” I looked back up at Jimmy.

“Oh, yes,” he said, nodding. “It’s the least we can do.”

Positioning my knife, I held it horizontally in his mouth. Pinzano started screaming, panic radiating through his veins. With one forceful shove, I pushed as hard as I could, hearing the flesh being cut as I went. Pinzano screamed and even whimpered, but I couldn’t give a fuck.

I stepped back, the heat from the fire pit getting to me. I stood there with Jimmy, our heads cocked to one side, admiring my handiwork.

“I think I could have done a little better with the left side of his face. What do you think, Jimmy?”

Jimmy bent his head further down to get a better look. He frowned, then nodded. “Yeah, just a little bit crooked there, but it’s better to see him smile now. He was starting to depress the fuck out of me.”

Leaning forward a bit, I wiped my blade on Pinzano’s clothes. “It’s awfully fucking messy, this killing business.” I patted Pinzano’s protruding belly. “Don’t you worry, sunshine. This will all be over in a bit. There’s just one more thing I need to do before you rest with da fishes.” I laughed and could hear Jimmy laughing, too. He knew just what I meant, though, so he fetched me the Samurai sword I had designed just for this day. Jimmy walked back from the corner of the room, handing it over. I inspected it for a moment, admiring its shine. At the base of the sword was an inscription of a lotus flower. It was truly magnificent.

Pinzano saw it and the panic rose again as I positioned it to his right wrist. “You know, I’ve always wanted the day to come where I get to chop off the hands of the scumbag who killed my parents. Now that I am here, I think I need to take a breather. You know, just to take it all in.”

Closing my eyes, I took a deep, relaxing breath. I could hear Pinzano whimpering. He knew what was coming and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

As I opened my eyes, I struck. It didn’t take much effort to chop off his right hand. It was on the floor within a fraction of a second. Pinzano screamed, but it was a little difficult considering half his face was cut up. “That was for killing my mother, Isabella Scozzari.”

I didn’t waste any time. I walked over to the other side and struck at his other hand, watching it fall to the floor. By now, there was blood everywhere. It amazed me how he was still alive. “And that, my little shit-bag friend, was for my father, Michael Scozzari.” I handed the Samurai back to Jimmy and retrieved my serrated knife.

I knelt down again, looking into the pained eyes of my nemesis. “And this,” I said, placing the knife at his throat, “is for the family they left behind.” With one quick swipe, I cut his throat. Pinzano gagged and gargled but, pretty soon, his body went lax.

Pulling out Pinzano’s handkerchief, I wiped the blade again, then placed the handkerchief back into his top pocket. Once I was ready to leave, I turned to Jimmy. “You okay with taking care of the rest.”

Jimmy nodded. “I have Nicky waiting out front. He’ll give me a hand. Don’t worry. We have it covered.”

As I walked towards the door, I patted Jimmy on the back. “Thanks, my friend. The rest of the money has been wired already.”

Jimmy nodded. “It was my pleasure.”

Nodding to Nicky on my way out, I made my way back to the Vanquish. I had to get home to make sure I was there in the eventuality Carmichael would want to leave—after being fucked into oblivion, of course. I knew the girls would have their work cut out for them. No doubt that the minute Katie had her mouth around his cock, he probably came within ten seconds. Fucking chump.

I looked at my watch, noting that I had been gone for forty minutes. Everything was going according to plan. I just needed to make sure I got home in a hurry—and without being spotted by the police. Every instinct in me wanted to put my foot down and embrace the speed. I wanted to wind down my window, have the cold breeze hit my skin, hear the roar of my V8 as it raced down the road. I couldn’t, though. I would have to save that for another time. For now, getting back without being caught was my number one goal.

I couldn’t help the smile, though. I couldn’t get the image of Pinzano upside down like the pig he is, being burned slowly and roasted alive out of my mind. How many times had I dreamt of this night, planning it down to the very last detail? Now that the scumbag was gone, I could concentrate on Tyler a bit more. No doubt she was a little pissed at me for leaving her for so many days, and she would probably be pissed at me for not using a condom.

My dick strained against my trousers, seeking out her soft, wet pussy. It wanted more, craved more, like she was the beat to my heart. But I didn’t have a heart. If it did exist, it was black with rage, filled with an everlasting void of hate and desire. Desire to crush, desire to hurt, desire to avenge my past. It coursed through my veins and raced through my blood like an endless tide. Never stopping. Never quitting. Never backing down.

With a turn of my steering wheel, I eased the Vanquish back into the garage where Humphrey was waiting. He smiled reassuringly and I knew that was my answer to whether everything was okay.

I switched off the car and got out. “Fifty minutes, Dean. I’m impressed.” He patted my back as we entered the kitchen.

“I take it everything is okay here?” I asked, wanting to get to the point.

“Of course. The leeches are still downing your booze like it’s the last they’ll ever get, Katie is with Carmichael, and Samantha is still upstairs in her room, just as you requested.”

I nodded, but I was anxious to get this night over with. “Good, but I got to go up and make sure I’m in that room before he comes out and catches me running up the stairs.”

Humphrey nodded, knowing that explaining what happened would just have to wait a little while longer. Straight away, I had an idea, and raced to the fridge. I pulled out a bottle of champagne and fetched two glasses. I pulled my top off, discarding it in the laundry room. Humphrey, as loyal as ever, handed me a bottle of aftershave. “Put that on. You reeked of smoke with that shirt on, but even with it gone, I can still smell you.” I nodded, grateful that he had thought of everything.

Racing up the stairs, I was in the middle of the third flight when Carmichael appeared. “Oh, there you are. I was just about to come out and find what was taking Samantha so long.”

I laughed, but was fucking thankful I had this bright idea. “I was just bringing Samantha and me a bottle of champagne. She gets even kinkier when she’s had a few.” We both laughed, but I had to carry on my act. “Are you done with the lovely Katie already?”

Carmichael shook his head. “Of course not. In fact, I’m glad you’re here so I can ask.” He whispered the words, so I knew he wanted me closer. I walked up the rest of the stairs to hear what he had to say, but I was conscious that I may still smell like smoke. I couldn’t have things shot to shit now, not after everything I’d done to make this night go smoothly.

“The girls,” he said, motioning with his head to the rooms. “Do they ever, you know…get together sometimes?”

With a knowing smile, I patted his shoulder. “You want to see some girl-on-girl action, don’t you, Mr Carmichael? I swear, you surprise me every day.”

Carmichael laughed, his fat belly bouncing in the robe that he was provided. “Well, it’s every man’s fantasy, isn’t it?” He winked.

I nodded. “I guess so. In fact, I was tempted to ask them when we were in the lounge, but I was just too keen to get Samantha in my bed.”

Carmichael threw his head back, laughing. I could see his double chin wobbling as he chuckled. “I can understand that. Hey, why don’t we go back to my room and they can put on a show for both of us? We can enjoy it before getting some pleasure for ourselves. What do you think?”

I didn’t want this. Every bone in my body repelled against giving into this chump, but what was I supposed to do? I had to keep up with this fucking charade; otherwise, Carmichael would get suspicious. So I sucked in a deep breath, fetched my phone out of my pocket, and dialled the number.

“Humphrey, fetch me another bottle of champagne and two more glasses, please. Carmichael and I have a party to attend to.” With a wicked grin, I looked at Carmichael and saw the absolute joy in that pig-like face of his. He kind of reminded me of Chief Wiggum from the Simpsons. He was fucking dumb if he was letting himself get roped into this. He must know that Samantha and Katie were working girls. The trouble was that his dick ruled that pea-like brain of his, but it worked to my advantage. I just never thought my evening would end up like this. I thought he would use the girls, get everything he could, and fuck off. It seemed that he wanted to get me involved now. Did he somehow not believe me tonight when I said I was disappearing upstairs? Did he see right through me? I inwardly shook my head. Of course not. He couldn’t have been suspicious. I was acting too well in my role. Of course he believed I went upstairs and fucked Samantha’s brains out. Why wouldn’t he?

Shutting my mobile, I motioned for the stairs. “After you,” I said, closing my eyes as he turned.

How the fuck do I play this now?





Chapter 27



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 1999





“Dean, what’s wrong? Why weren’t you at school today?”

Dean smiled, showing me that lopsided grin that always sent my heart racing. He looked tired, though, and it worried me a little.

“I’m fine. I just didn’t get much sleep last night. My parents took me to a club that my uncle owns.”

My eyes widened. “Why did they take you there, Dean? It was a school night.”

He chuckled a little and held his hand out to me. I instantly took it and sat down beside him. “I often go to my uncle’s club. It’s no biggie. I get to sit and drink as much pop as I like and listen to all the great music.”

I rolled my eyes, but felt an uneasy sensation rise through me. “And I suppose you get to see all the hot dancers there.” It flew out of my mouth before I could even register I was saying it. The green-eyed monster hit with a force unknown to me before.

“Are you jealous?” he asked, the look of tiredness now replaced with my fresh, jovial Dean.

“No!” I snapped, trying to look away.

Grabbing my chin, Dean made me look at him. “Knowing you feel jealous about me possibly looking at other girls makes me think things I shouldn’t be thinking. I’m sixteen and you’ve barely turned fourteen, but you make it so hard for me.”

My breath caught as I gazed into the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. I would never tire of those eyes.

“Tyler, the only person I ever look at is sitting right here, penetrating me with those hazel eyes of hers.”

An ache I didn’t know existed throbbed and burned between my legs. I really wanted him to kiss me right now. I really wanted him to do whatever he wanted to me.

“Stop looking at me like that, Tyler.”

Snapping my head back a bit, I frowned. “Like what?”

Dean shook his head. “Like you want me to kiss you.”

I didn’t know where this brave new Tyler came from, but my body was overruling my head right now. “Don’t you want to kiss me?”

Dean laughed, but stroked my cheek. “Tyler, I have to restrain myself from kissing you every day. If I do, I worry I won’t be able to stop. I refuse to touch you like that until you’re sixteen.”

My shoulders sagged, but my heart swelled at the knowledge that he wanted me. Thoughts of us getting married and having children filled my head. I had only ever wanted Dean. I will only ever want Dean.

“Don’t worry, Tyler,” he said, squeezing my hand. “Our time will come.”



*****



The next morning, I woke up with a pounding headache. Not because I had drunk too much last night, but because I slept too deeply after such an eventful night. I dreamt a lot of Dean and my stranger, the dreams kind of morphing themselves into one, becoming both my nightmare and my ultimate fantasy. I dreamt of Dean’s tenderness and my stranger’s rough touch as they pulled at me from both sides. It was almost as if my dream was asking me to make a choice. Who did I want, Dean or my stranger? I couldn’t deny that I wanted both. I wanted Dean’s gentle touch, but I also wanted my stranger’s grip as he tugged at my hair and pushed his fingers deep inside of me. In my dream, I waged a war, screaming and shouting inside my head. I arched my back, parted my lips with a moan, unable to hide my desire these two men sparked within me. As the dream continued, I suddenly had both of them beside me. Dean gently stroked one nipple, while my stranger pulled and tugged at the other with his teeth. Every touch, every pinch, every caress, and every bite had me careening towards that orgasm I knew would rip me apart at any moment. I thought that Dean and my stranger would fight, but all they did was concentrate all their efforts solely on bringing me to that beautiful precipice. I was wanton, and I felt selfish that I could demand such an act from these two men. Who was I to ask such as task from them? And why on earth were they giving it to me? They were offering themselves freely, worshipping and adoring, and my stranger was even using every part of my body.

With Dean on one side and my stranger on the other, Dean lapped my nipple into his mouth and gently sucked. He rubbed my clit so gently, so tenderly, my body cried for its release. At the same time, my stranger had my other nipple in his mouth, sucking hard and fast. He was pounding my pussy with his fingers, sending me into delirium. The gentleness, combined with the brutality, had my orgasm coming thick and fast. It blew and the sound of fireworks went off in my head. Bright colours seemed to dance before my eyes as I screamed and writhed beneath their every touch.

It was the most erotic, intense dream I ever had. I had never fantasised about two men like that before, but the dream seemed to open my eyes. I knew it was only because it involved Dean and my stranger, but the thought of them worshipping me like that had my pulse react quickly. I wanted that dream to be true. I wanted Dean’s caress and my stranger’s rough hands on me. It filled me with a desire I never thought I could ever imagine.

I threw my duvet off and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water and some aspirin. I didn’t know what time it was, but I knew it must have been quite late. I got back just after one in the morning, but I couldn’t fall asleep at first. I just kept thinking of Lotus and what he did to me last night. As always, I let him command me. Instead of punishing him, he ended up throwing it back around on me. I could have hated him, but all I wanted was for him to smack my ass and throw me over the kitchen table. My god, what was wrong with me?

With a shake of my head, I made my way to the shower. I glanced at the time as I went and, immediately, went into panic mode. Shit, it was after twelve and I was supposed to be at the hospital at one.

As quickly as possible, I jumped into the shower, then got dressed and headed straight out the door. I didn’t bother putting make-up on. I barely even brushed my teeth. I had to get to the hospital and I had to make sure it all went according to plan. Jeremy was my priority today and I was determined not to let him down. I was determined to give him the best sixteenth birthday he could ever dream of.

Racing to the hospital, I got to the ward with only a couple minutes to spare. I walked in, and Jeremy looked up and smiled, making my heart light up.

“What are you doing here? It’s not visiting hours yet,” he said, smiling brightly. “Oh, by the way, you look like shit.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, eyeing him with an unamused grin. “Well, good afternoon to you, too, you little shit.”

“Hey, you can’t say things like that. I’m young, remember?”

“Well, now that you’ve turned sixteen, I can talk to you any way I like. Suck it up, birthday boy!”

He shook his head with a smile. “It’s like that, is it?”

I nodded. “Oh, yes. It’s like that. You and I need to leave this joint. I got somewhere I need to take you. Are you up for a little adventure?”

Jeremy’s face lit up. “Are you serious?” he whispered.

Holding out my hand, I nodded again. “As serious as I’ll ever be.”

Throwing the covers off, Jeremy got out of bed. “Then what are we waiting for?”

I giggled at his eagerness. “Well, one, I wanted to make sure you were well enough for this, and two, I don’t think it would be a good idea if you left the hospital in your pyjamas.”

Jeremy frowned and looked down at himself. “Oh, shit. You’re right.” He saw my look and shrugged his shoulders. “What? I’m allowed to say that now. I’m sixteen.”

Just as I was about to tell him how young he still was, Nurse Rachael came over with some clothes. “Hi, Tyler. How are you today?”

I smiled, happy in the knowledge they all knew me around here. I was becoming such a regular feature in the ward.

“I’m fine, thank you, Rachael. How’s Fluffy doing. Any better?”

Rachael smiled, nodding. “Much better now, thanks. I took her to the vet and it turned out she had cat flu. She’s been on medicine for the past couple of days and is getting much better already.”

“That’s great,” I said, smiling.

I knew that was a big deal for Rachael. She was young and let it slip to me that, apart from her job, her cat, Fluffy, was the only other life support for her. It was amazing how much information on a person’s life you can get just by asking a couple of questions. I suppose being a journalist helped me be that much more forthcoming. People just seemed to open up to me for some reason. In just a few days of knowing Rachael, I learned she was twenty-four, recently single from an abusive relationship, and all she felt she could rely on now was Fluffy. I knew she was extremely important to her and that’s why I had to know how the cat was.

“Hold up,” Jeremy suddenly piped up. “You named your cat Fluffy?” He raised his eyebrow and Rachael blushed.

Once I saw her embarrassment, I cut in. “Leave her alone, you.” I gave him a reproachful look and turned to Rachael. “Are those Jeremy’s clothes?”

She nodded. “Yes. I knew you would be coming in soon, so I got everything ready for him. I checked on him earlier. His blood pressure is a little low, but as long as Jeremy is feeling okay, he’s good to go.”

He grabbed the clothes. “Thanks, Rachael. I’m so ready to go.”

I frowned. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want to push you too far if you’re not up to it. I can always cancel and rearrange for another day.”

Jeremy vehemently shook his head. “Please don’t take this day away from me, Tyler. I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. Wherever you take me, I’ll be up for it.”

I smiled but, in my dazed state, I didn’t move. Jeremy stared at me for a moment. “What?” I asked.

“Well…unless you want to see a bit more of me, I suggest you turn the other way while I get dressed.”

Snapping myself out of it, I moved. “Oh, sorry,” I replied, laughing.

Rachael smiled and pulled the curtain to give Jeremy some privacy. “You know, you’re the best thing that’s happened to him in a long time,” she said, moving away from his cubicle. “Before, he used to just sit during visiting hours and read. I used to watch him. He would always say he was okay with it but, deep down, I knew he wasn’t. Sometimes, with a hint of sadness, he would look up at the others in the room. But since you walked into his life, he won’t stop laughing and joking. He watches the time like a hawk and when it gets to be four, he constantly looks up to see if it’s you that’s heading in. He would see something in the corner of his eye and snap his head in that direction, secretly hoping it’s you.”

My heart swelled. I knew Jeremy really must have felt this way. No one wanted to ever be alone. I just wished he would talk to me more, instead of hiding his pain through jokes and flirtation. But, then again, now that he knew he had me, he was able to talk whenever he liked. When he was ready, if he was ready, I was here for him.

“You know, I’m right here and can hear everything you’re saying about me. Just because you close the curtain doesn’t mean it shuts out the sound.”

Jeremy pushed the curtain to one side and came out with a big smile. With his clothes on and standing tall, he looked different. At five foot, seven inches, he was about two inches taller than me. He was wearing a pair of trainers with dark denim jeans and dark navy hoodie. I kept my little chuckle inside thinking about the hoodie. It was similar to my stranger’s hoodie, except my stranger’s was darker. That could be because he visits me in the dark all the time, though.

Jeremy also had on a baseball cap. He looked every part the sixteen-year-old now. “Wow, you look... How can I say it? Cool?”

“Dashingly attractive?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Always got an answer for everything, don’t you, Jeremy?”

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

Tugging at his cap, I chuckled. “Are you ready to go?”

Jeremy sighed and rolled his eyes. “Haven’t I been trying to tell you that for the past ten minutes? Geesh!”

“Don’t get cocky, mister. Come on.” I motioned for Jeremy to go ahead of me, but he didn’t need much persuading. He was heading out of the ward faster than I could register.

“Oh, blimey,” I said as I started walking towards the door.

“Have a good time!” Rachael shouted from behind me.

“We will. Thanks, Rachael.”

“Anytime!”

I was running for the door as quickly as I could to try and catch up with him. For someone who looked so pale and skinny, he could run pretty fast. “Hey, hey,” I shouted after him. “How do you know where you’re supposed to be going?”

Jeremy stopped for a moment and spun round to look at me, a sad expression on his face. “I’m not sure where you’re taking me, Tyler. I just want out of this hospital, even if it is just for a few hours. You can understand that, right?”

He looked at me with his tired blue eyes and, right then, all I wanted to do was hug him. “I totally understand that. You go as fast as you want to, but you better be ready for a race. Starting from…” I didn’t even finish the sentence. I was off, laughing as I went.

“Hey. That’s cheating!” he shouted from behind me, but he was soon gaining on me. I didn’t mind. I secretly wanted him to have this.

Soon, we were side-by-side. Then he was past me, heading towards the lift. Jeremy managed to squeeze into it at the very last moment, waving his fingers at me as the door shut.

I didn’t waste any time. With a smile, I huffed and headed straight for the stairs. I hurried as fast as I could without bumping into anyone. The last thing I wanted was to bash into a sick person. That wouldn’t look too good.

I got to the bottom floor so fast that the lift doors were opening as I passed. Jeremy spotted me and, with an intake of breath, rushed out to catch up. I was almost at the door when I saw Jeremy out of the corner of my eye. He zoomed past me and, within an instant, was out the door.

Stopping momentarily, I shook my head, smiling. This boy never failed to amaze me, even in this short period of time we had known each other. Jeremy was quickly becoming like the little brother I never had.

Once I pushed the door open, I spotted Jeremy hunched over, trying to catch his breath. I instantly cringed, feeling guilty for pushing him too hard.

I rushed over to him. “Jeremy, are you all right? I’m so sorry. I never should have...”

Throwing his hand up, he looked at me reproachfully. “Don’t you take this away from me, Tyler. Please. I’m fine, honestly. Just treat me like you would any other day. Treat me like a regular sixteen-year-old about to embark on an adventure. Please, just give me that.”

Trying to fight the tears, I nodded. “Of course,” I replied, grabbing his shoulder.

With a smile, Jeremy looked down at my hand. “You just can’t keep your hands off me, can you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Jeremy, do you ever quit?” I shook my head with a smile.

“I’ll quit when I’m dead. Now, I have two questions. First, where are you taking me?”

I stood there motionless, waiting for the other question. When he didn’t respond, I waved my hands for him to continue. “And the other question?”

Jeremy gave me a cocky grin. “Well, this is the most important question of all. Have you brought me some Twiglets?”

Laughing, I dug into my bag and pulled out the Twiglets. “Okay, your most important question is answered, but as far as the first one is concerned, you will just have to wait a little longer.”

Jeremy didn’t have the most amused expression on his face, but I wasn’t going to let him badger me. This little gem of a surprise would just have to wait. “Come on, Jeremy. Let’s get going. We have a timetable to keep. We can’t be late.”

Jeremy shook his head, but followed me to my car. “Is this yours?” he asked, heading around to the passenger’s seat.

I nodded my head. “Yep. This is my baby. I saved for ages to buy this.” It was only an Alpha Romeo Spider, but she was my baby.

As we both got in, Jeremy hummed his approval. “You have good taste for a chick.”

I chuckled. “Gee, thanks.” I started the car and we were on our way.

Jeremy just kept on gazing out of the window, watching everything like it was the first time he had ever seen it. It was hard tearing my gaze away from this boy who seemed so strong underneath his fragile body. He looked the happiest I had seen him and, of course, it made me feel great that I aided to his happiness in some way.

“What are we doing in this area?” he suddenly asked, making me jump a little.

“Oh, you’ll see soon enough.” I pulled into a parking space and quickly got out to check the time. We still had five minutes. “We have a little three minute walk to your surprise.”

Jeremy nodded, but I could see him looking around. We were in Redhill Aerodrome, so he would probably guess soon enough what was happening. My heart was thumping. I just hoped he likes his surprise. In fact, I hope he loved it.

Tugging him towards me, I linked my arm in his and gave him the brightest smile I could muster. “Walk with me, Jeremy.”

He nodded and did as he was told, walking beside me with an eager expression on his face. I could tell he was excited.

As we rounded the corner, his expression nearly floored me. His mouth dropped and his smile spread wider than I had ever seen it. “Holy…fuck,” he whispered.

“Jeremy!” I scolded, laughing.

He looked at me, his mouth still wide open. “I’m sorry, but you have to admit that this is pretty much a holy fuck moment.”

I giggled, giving in. “Okay, I’ll give you that.”

Once he closed his mouth, he looked at me. “Is this what I think it is? We’re not just going to, like, stand here and watch it take off, are we?”

Pulling at his arm, I laughed. “No, of course not. I wouldn’t be that cruel.”

Jeremy scratched his head. “But how do you...? How could you have...? I mean, this is really expensive, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “Normally, but I’m good friends with a pilot who works for one of the major newspaper companies. He gave me this contact and I got a really good discount.”

Suddenly, Jeremy swung round and pulled me in for a big hug. “I don’t know how to thank you. This is just so huge.”

Pulling out of his embrace, I grabbed his shoulders. “It was worth every penny to see that smile on your face. Happy birthday, Jeremy. Now, do you want to come and fly with me?”

Jeremy beamed. “Do I ever!”

Giggling, I made my way over to a man standing by the helicopter. He looked up, saw me, and gave me a smile. “Are you Tyler O’Shea?” he asked as we got closer.

I nodded. “Yes, and you must be Charlie. Nice to meet you.” I offered him my hand and he accepted with a bright smile.

He turned his attention to Jeremy. “And this must be Jeremy.”

“Yes, sir,” he answered.

“Do you want to climb aboard, Jeremy? The weather looks to be about perfect for the trip.”

“Do I ever!” Jeremy shouted again, making us all laugh.

“I tell you what,” Charlie said with a wink. “You can be my wingman. How about you sit up front with me? I might even let you fly a little bit.”

Jeremy gasped, but sprang into action, climbing up into the helicopter. Charlie laughed and I could tell he was just as taken as I was.

Before getting in, Charlie turned to me. “He’s quite the boy, isn’t he?” I nodded with a proud smile. “Is he your bother or something?”

I shook my head. “No, although I kind of wished he was.” Then, at least, he would have had a better life then he has, I thought.

Charlie smiled, but didn’t press on. He helped me climb in and made sure I was strapped in before he got into his seat to help Jeremy.

Jeremy looked like he could barely contain himself. He was in awe, looking at all the controls and firing question after question at Charlie.

He took it in stride and told us we were about to take off. I had only booked a half-hour flight because that was as much as I could afford. I was actually quite excited myself. I had never been in one, so this was a first for me, too.

Within an instant, we were off the ground and my stomach immediately dropped. It was a strange sensation. I had been on planes, but this was a little different. I felt less in control for some strange reason. Maybe it was because you could see a lot more, and we were going up vertically. It wasn’t terrifying, though. In fact, I was enjoying it. And, by looking over towards him, so was Jeremy.

It wasn’t long before we were up in the air, a birds-eye view of London below us. As we neared inner London, everything came into focus more as I looked across the horizon. The city looked amazing from up here. Up ahead, you could see the London Eye and the Shard standing tall and proud. The clouds were sporadic and the sun was shining, giving us the great day for which I was hoping. If anyone deserved it, Jeremy did. He was looking anywhere and everywhere he could, almost as if he was desperately trying to take it all in.

As I tried to keep one eye ahead, I couldn’t help gazing at Jeremy. As if sensing I was watching, he turned and gave me that heart-warming smile. “I wish I had brought a camera with me,” he shouted.

Then I remembered I had bought one specifically for him. It was a disposable camera so he could use them all up, then I could get them developed for him.

Delving into my bag, I grabbed the camera and nudged Jeremy’s shoulder. He turned, saw the camera, and gasped a little. “Thank you!” He beamed at me, turning to take a picture of everything he could.

As he snapped away, I looked down and admired all the boats along the River Thames. In the distance, I could spot Grosvenor Bridge and Victoria Station. Seeing everything from up here felt strange. It made me see London in a completely different light. It was like I was seeing the city all over again, but from a different perspective. I loved it.

“Hey, Tyler!” Jeremy shouted.

I turned and he took a picture. “Jeremy, I wasn’t ready for that!”

He just smiled. “Come on. Let’s take a selfie.”

Smiling, I moved myself forward so Jeremy and I could move in as close together as we could. Jeremy quickly snapped our picture and I moved away. “That’s going to be my favourite,” he shouted.

I nodded. “I think it will be mine, too. I will have to get a copy and blow it up.” Jeremy smiled, then went back to staring ahead.

It wasn’t long before we were passing the House of Commons, following the river past Tower Bridge. It was a little way past there that Charlie suddenly turned and we were flying back to Redhill. We were soon over the countryside, which amazed me. I didn’t realise England could get so green so quickly once you left London.

“Now, do you want to have a go at the control?” Charlie asked.

Jeremy looked excited, but also a little hesitant. “Don’t worry,” Charlie said. “I won’t let you fall from the sky.” He chuckled and Jeremy soon followed. I, on the other hand, didn’t find that comment so amusing. Maybe I was a little more scared of flying than I thought.

Charlie motioned to Jeremy to grab the joystick and held his hand in place for a minute to show him how to control it. Once Charlie was satisfied, he let Jeremy take control and even asked him to slowly turn to the right a little. He did and we went a little off course, but Charlie soon had us back on track. I think I lost a few weeks of my life.

“Are you okay back there?” Charlie asked, noticing my worried expression.

Shaking myself out of it, I smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you. This is all new for me, too.”

Charlie chuckled and looked at Jeremy. “He’s a natural. I may have to worry about my job with this kid around.” Charlie smiled and Jeremy beamed with joy.

“So,” Charlie continued. “Now that you’ve had a try, would you come again?”

Jeremy nodded enthusiastically. “In a second! This has got to be the best day I’ve ever had in my life.”

Jeremy continued to beam, but I couldn’t help feeling saddened by his comment. In such a short amount of years, Jeremy never got to have days like this where he was spoiled rotten by someone who cared for him, and it wasn’t right. It shouldn’t have been that way.

As we got closer to Redhill, Charlie took back the controls and started descending towards his landing pad. I checked the time and it was a little more than the scheduled half-hour. I smiled a little, hoping that was because the pilot was enjoying Jeremy’s company so much that time simply got away from him.

As we landed, my stomach seemed to come back down to earth, and I sighed. I did enjoy the ride. I just got nervous when people joked about falling from the sky. I’d always feared dying in a plane crash or drowning at sea. It was something I knew I should never think about, but I thought about it nonetheless.

“How was that?” Charlie asked me as he switched everything off.

“It was great. Thank you. It’s certainly been a memorable day.”

“You’re welcome.” Charlie smiled. “Maybe next time you could come and take some lessons.” He looked at Jeremy with a wink and I could tell he was getting a huge kick out of this.

Getting out of the helicopter, Charlie opened the door for me, handing me a card. “If Jeremy’s interested in some lessons, I can give him a very good discount. He really does have a natural talent.”

Taking the card from his hand, I smiled. “Thank you, Charlie. It’s definitely something to consider.”

And I did consider a lot of things when we, eventually, said goodbye and headed back to the hospital. Although Jeremy looked over-the-moon about his birthday present, I couldn’t help this nagging feeling that he was hiding how he was truly feeling.

“Are you okay?” I asked when we were in the car and halfway home.

Jeremy took his eyes away from his window and stared at me a moment. “Me? I’m fine. A little tired, but feeling great after that. I can’t thank you enough for this day. It is one I will never forget.” He smiled brightly, turning his head back to stare out of the window. Out of the corner of my eye, though, I could see Jeremy’s hand motioning a little my way. With his palm upturned in a gesture of affection, I couldn’t help the teary smile that overwhelmed me. I took his hand and he wrapped his fingers tightly around mine, squeezing slightly. He never looked over, never said a word, but I knew Jeremy was trying his best at giving me something other than his normal jovial, flirtatious self.

I kept my hand in his for as long as I could, but once we neared the hospital, I had to admit defeat and let go. I didn’t like that I had to break the connection because I just didn’t know if I would ever get it back again.

Parking the car, we both got out and walked to the main entrance. I couldn’t help noticing Jeremy was walking a lot slower now than when we first started out. The black circles were under his eyes again and his breathing was a little harsh. I didn’t say anything, though. I was just glad I was getting him back to the hospital.

As we got into the elevator, Jeremy started swaying a little on his feet. I held him steady, my heart rate picking up. I was praying the elevator would hurry up and get to his floor. I was scared. He was looking more and more ill by the second.

“Jeremy, are you okay?” I just needed some reassurance. However, I knew no matter how much he reassured me, there was no escaping the fact there was obviously something seriously wrong.

“I’m fine,” he said, then collapsed on the floor. The lift doors opened and I started screaming for somebody to help me. Rachael and another nurse soon appeared. I was almost pushed aside by the many nurses as the doctor ran up and checked his pulse. Motioning to the nurses, the doctor helped them pick him up and carry him out of the elevator.

“What were his symptoms before he collapsed?” the doctor asked me.

My breathing hitched, my palms were sweaty, and the tears were now pooling in my eyes and threatening to run. I had done this to him. This was all my fault.

“He...he was complaining that he was tired. His breathing was shallow and he was unsteady.”

Out of nowhere, Jeremy started convulsing. I thought I was going to crumble into little pieces. If I hadn’t pushed him too hard… If I had just listened to that nagging person in the back of my mind telling me maybe today was a bad idea… Jeremy was sick and I was responsible for making him worse.

As they wheeled him into a room, away from prying eyes, I followed, desperate for somebody to tell me he would be okay.

Slowly but surely, Jeremy was calming down. I grabbed his hand. “Jeremy, don’t you dare quit on me. You now have someone here you need to fight for. Don’t you give up on me. Fight for me, Jeremy. Fight!” I released a sob and Rachael was soon by my side and grabbing me by the shoulders.

“It’s all my fault,” I cried. “I shouldn’t have pushed him.”

Rachael shook her head. “You can’t blame yourself for this. Yes, Jeremy is a very sick boy, but you must have given him one of the best days he’s ever had. We all agreed he deserved that today. You can’t blame yourself for this. It’s just one of those things.”

Calming down a little, I remembered Jeremy’s smiling expression in the helicopter. I remembered the look of joy when he told me this was the best day in his life.

“Is he going to be okay?” I finally asked.

Rachael smiled. “He’s going to be fine. Sometimes when the white cells are too low, patients with Jeremy’s type of leukaemia can have a seizure.”

“He has a little fluid on the lungs,” the doctor said. “We need to get a chest x-ray done immediately.”

The nurse beside him nodded and my heart went into panic mode again. “What does that mean?”

“Pneumonia, more than likely,” the doctor answered. “Because he has such a weak immune system, he is vulnerable to all sorts of infections.”

“Is he going to be all right, doctor?”

He frowned a little and that worried me. “It’s too soon to tell without an x-ray and some blood tests. Once we have the results, we will be in a better position to know. Jeremy is a fighter, though, so I’m sure he’ll fight this with all he has.” Probably in an attempt to try to alleviate my fears, he smiled brightly.

“Can I stay with him?” I didn’t think they’d let me, but I had to ask.

The doctor shrugged. “Of course because, as of first thing this morning, you are Jeremy’s next-of-kin.” The doctor walked away.

I stood there, absolutely shocked. It was only when I felt a hand on my shoulder that I jumped and looked at Rachael. “The minute Jeremy woke up this morning, he asked if he could put you down as his next-of-kin. That seemed like a birthday present for him.” Rachael smiled softly and left to move Jeremy into x-ray.

All I could do was stand and wait, shocked and bewildered about the whole day. Jeremy never said a word to me about naming me his next-of-kin. I was delighted, of course, but a part of me thought I didn’t deserve it. Not after this happened. No matter what anybody said, I couldn’t help blaming myself for all of this. I couldn’t help telling myself over and over again that I should have known better.

It seemed like hours before Jeremy was wheeled back onto the ward, a breathing mask over his face. It made me feel sick to my stomach. He looked so pale and so ill compared to normal. There were purple circles under his eyes, and his skin was virtually yellow.

Sitting beside him, all I could do was hold his hand and stare at him. What started out as a fantastic day had turned into a nightmare. He should be out celebrating his sixteenth birthday, not unconscious in a hospital. He was so young and had his whole life ahead of him. It just seemed cruel that he could have had this wonderful day…only for it to be ripped away from him.

So all I could do was sit. I took up my position next to his bed, determined I would be the first person he saw when he woke up. He had me now and I was going to make damn sure he knew it. I was never going to give up on him, and I just hoped he wasn’t going to give up on himself.





Chapter 28



Dean



“I'm a fighter. I believe in the eye-for-an-eye business. I'm no cheek turner. I got no respect for a man who won't hit back. You kill my dog, you better hide your cat.”

Muhammad Ali





What a fucked up night last night was. I thought things were going great until that fucking numpty, Carmichael, wanted to share his ultimate fantasy with me. In the end, of course, I fluffed it. I went in, pretending I fucking loved the show, then “decided” I wanted a little blowjob action from Katie. I left Samantha with Carmichael and went down to the lounge to down a couple of bourbons. I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but I thought the night warranted it. I needed to let off steam…badly. I knew what I should be doing and this morning was going to be the morning I got it.

Going down to my basement, I put on my sweatpants and started pounding the bag. Every muscle ached as I hit that bag over and over again. All the while, I replayed the night’s events. I replayed Carmichael and his fucking horny ways. I replayed Pinzano and his pathetic cries as I tortured him before his ultimate demise. I replayed Carmichael again as he coerced me into watching two ladies go at it. Normally, I’m game, but last night, I wasn’t focused on anything but getting my story straight. I was never interested in Samantha or Katie, and I never would be. I was just lucky that the silly fuck couldn’t last longer than ten minutes with Samantha. And I’m guessing he made her hold on for the extra nine minutes of that before he left the room. He made some excuse that he needed to go and I was left breathing a huge sigh of relief. He was one less stupid fuck I needed to worry about.

“Don’t wear yourself out too much!” Humphrey’s voice shouted from afar.

I stopped abruptly, looking up. “I just needed to let off steam after last night,” I replied as I carried on punching.

Humphrey came in a little closer and sighed. “You realise that now you’re untouchable, don’t you? Now that you’ve gotten rid of Pinzano and made it look so fucking easy, no others will dare try to take your place. Everyone will be too scared of you. I thought that’s what you wanted? Why aren’t you looking happy?”

“I am fucking happy,” I snarled, grunting every time I punched.

Humphrey huffed. “You could have fooled me, Dean. You look like you’re wired up tight, ready to blow. What’s the matter?” Humphrey went quiet for a moment and I knew what was coming next. “It’s her, isn’t it?”

Closing my eyes, I tried to gather my composure. “Don’t fucking bring her into this. What happened last night had nothing to do with her.”

Humphrey tut-tutted. “But, yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave her alone last night, could you? You had to go and see her, despite the fact it was one of the most important nights of your life. Despite the fact you had been planning this night for years!”

I clenched my fists in anger, but hated the fact he was right. With me, I thought the best defence was a good offense. “Last night worked, didn’t it? Stop getting on my case, old man!”

Humphrey closed his eyes and shook his head with an exasperated sigh. “Listen, I’m going to say this simply because you’re my brother’s son and I care about you. Don’t you think you’ve done enough? If she’s getting to your head, then quit. No one will think you’re a loser because no one will have to know. I will never think differently of you.”

Pulling my fist up, I tapped the punching bag a little and closed my eyes. “No, I can’t give up on this now. I’ve come so far.”

“But don’t you think you’ve ruined her now? Don’t you think if you pushed much more, things could get ugly pretty quickly?”

I could feel the anger rise. “Hey, whose side are you on?”

“Yours, Dean, for fuck’s sake. I’m just worried you’re getting in a little too deeply and you might get burned. She was once important to you. She still is, but for different reasons now.”

I didn’t want to hear anymore. I didn’t want the truth of his words burning into my head and, eventually, into my soul. “Can you call Shifu for me?”

Humphrey’s eyes widened. “It’s really that bad?”

Taking my gloves off, I threw then into the corner of my room. “Shall I go do it myself?” I asked with a snarl.

Humphrey waved his hands in front of him. “No, of course not. I’ll go call him now.”

Humphrey left, but I couldn’t help noticing the evil smile plastered across his face. He knew me calling Shifu meant I was expecting my ass to get whipped, but the way I was feeling now made me think otherwise. I was ready to kick some ass myself.



*****



Shifu arrived promptly. When it involved being paid triple the amount he normally was, he always did. People said money never talked, but it always fucking did in my line of work. Money, sex, drugs, and plenty of fucking alcohol to top it off.

“Are we in for a little ass whopping?” my karate teacher asked. I met him when I was eighteen and still a scrawny little fuck. He helped shape me into the man I was now. He taught me how to fight, and I quickly went on to become a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. To say it had gotten me out of a few scraps in my time was an understatement. Shifu just happened to be one out of very few people I owed my life to.

Fisting my hands, I cracked my knuckles, intently staring at him. “Bring it on, sensei,” I said, winking at him and motioning him forward.

Shifu gave me a half-smile and frowned a little. “It seems we are full of heart today. Let’s see where it takes you.” We took our positions.

With a lunge, Shifu came at me, his fists flying from one side to the next. With an outside block to the left and then the right, I managed to meet his every move. My focus was spot on this morning, which was one of the reasons I needed this. I had to get back on track, and this workout was the one thing that would help me do it.

With a left kick, Shifu tried to strike me in the head, but I grabbed his foot and threw him to the ground. I smiled down at him. “It seems having a full heart makes me strong. I guess you’re not running rings around me today, ha?”

Shifu scowled, quickly hoisting himself up. He looked a little pissed and a little unfocused, which wasn’t like him at all. He came at me again with a straight punch, upper cut, hook punch…all of which I met with precision. When that didn’t work, Shifu tried a double round kick, but I blocked that, as well.

After a few minutes of this, I had enough. I went on the attack, striking at Shifu a few times with a number of kicks and punches. I could tell he was backing down after a while, but I was still on fire. I could feel the frustration pouring out of me, making me feel more level-headed than I had in a very long time.

With one more lunge, I had Shifu in a headlock—something I hadn’t ever been able to do to him. I suddenly felt powerful, taking down the one person who had always gotten the better of me.

With his head in my arms, I didn’t waste any time. I manoeuvred the back of my body into his, lifted him up in the air and slammed him down to the ground. With a wicked smile, I taunted, “Guess you’re not as young as you used to be.” I winked at him for good measure, but offered my hand to hoist him up.

Shifu scowled and knocked my hand out of the way. “I must just be having an off day, that’s all. One of these days, I’ll get you back.”

I shook my head. “Okay. Whatever you say, sensei.”

With every muscle warm and my head feeling better, I said my goodbyes to Shifu and headed for the shower. Now that I had my adrenaline release, I needed another kind of release. A release that, lately, only Tyler could help me with. I felt good after taking down Pinzano, and even better now that I’d kicked my karate teacher’s ass. All I felt now was horny, and the more I thought about burying my cock inside Tyler, the hornier I got.

With my shower out of the way, I prepared for the rest of my day, trying to get some business taken care of before my visit with Tyler.

As the day turned to night and the night dragged on into the early hours of the morning, I got into my Dodge and drove over to her apartment. I was pumped and ready for her. I needed to feel her tight pussy around me. I needed to hear her moans as I sank myself deep into her. I needed to feel her come all around me, begging me to fuck her hard.

Once I parked, I walked towards my normal secret entryway, a smirk on my face. The closer I got, the more my dick got stiff at the thought of her soft, wet flesh. I really wanted to come inside her again. I wanted to bury my seed deep. I wanted to fucking mark her so badly, the thought made me want to blow.

Eventually, I reached the top of the stairs and pulled out the key to her apartment. I let myself in, noting that all lights were off—like normal.

Once I got to her bedroom, my breathing hitched, my heart thumped, and my dick throbbed against my jeans. On instinct, I licked my lips, already tasting her sweetness on my tongue. I was like a starved animal, ready to stalk, ready to pounce, ready to devour.

With a push of her bedroom door, my eyes adjusted and landed directly on her bed. When I saw she wasn’t there, I began to panic a little. What if she was hiding and waiting for me? What if she was getting ready to pounce on me? The thought of this had my dick throbbing harder, and my head pounding faster. I couldn’t let her get the best of me. That would defeat the whole purpose. I was the one stalking her, not the other way around. I needed to gain focus for a moment. If she was hiding somewhere, I needed to be just as ready for her as she was with me. I had to make sure all exits were covered and, more importantly, the lights. I couldn’t afford to have Tyler switching on any lights. It would reveal who I was. And I wasn’t quite ready for that yet.

Carefully, I searched behind the door, under her bed, and in the bathroom. I made sure I kept myself on high alert the whole time I was moving around. The more I searched, the more I thought she wasn’t here and I just looked like an idiot…something else I couldn’t abide by.

With all angles covered, I looked around the room once more for any clue that she may have been here at all today. I walked over to her phone and could see she had three messages, with the first one sent at one-thirty today. Either she hadn’t been in at all since then, or she was in too much of a hurry to check her messages before leaving. Where the fuck was she?

Somehow, Tyler had gotten the better of me today and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one fucking bit.





Chapter 29



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 2000





“Why do you always have to look super sexy in anything you wear, Tyler?”

Looking up at Dean, I blushed. I had just finished school and was wearing the same old dreary school uniform. I never felt sexy in my school uniform. It was just a pleated skirt, a white shirt, and tie. Over that was my black-and-red blazer. Nothing fancy and certainly nothing sexy.

“Dean, stop,” I protested, nudging my shoulder into his.

“I’m only telling the truth. Can I walk you home?” His sexy lips curved up into the most beautiful smile. I always felt weak in the knees whenever Dean smiled. Somehow when he did, he always made me feel like the most precious and treasured girl on earth. It was almost as if that smile was made for me and me only.

“Of course you can,” I finally managed to say after my heart calmed down a little. “But I think Ian is coming out in a minute. He will want to walk with us, too.” Ian was in sixth form now, but Dean decided to work for his dad. That worried me a bit. Dean was only seventeen, and I knew his dad worked with people I didn’t like the look of.

“Okay,” he replied, gently placing a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’ll just have to capture your stare until he arrives.”

And he did. We stood there for an age just locking me with those blue eyes of his. It was so easy to get lost in those eyes.

And I never wanted that feeling to end.



*****



I woke with a start, wondering where on earth I was for a minute. Of course. The hospital. I had ended up falling asleep hunched over Jeremy’s bed again. I had been here four days now and, for four days, there had been no change. The only time I left was to go home, grab some belongings and my laptop, and hauled my ass back over to the ward. I worked from the hospital and told Suzie I couldn’t come into work because I was ill with the flu. I thought that was as good an excuse as any. I knew it had been going around the office and I kept thinking it was marvellous I hadn’t caught it by now.

The good thing about it was I could still do everything I needed to do, just without physically being there. I knew people would question why as I had never taken a sick day since I started there three years ago. I figured I was owed some sick leave by now.

The other thing I made sure to do was get Jeremy’s photos developed. I was determined for him to see them when he finally woke. I picked out the one of Jeremy and me, and got it blown up as promised, including one for myself. I bought a frame for my copy and I was determined to hang it up on my wall once I got home. We both looked so happy. It seemed like a million years ago.

The doctor came around a couple of times a day to check on him, and his vitals were getting that little bit stronger every day. I had hope in my heart because that was all I could hold onto. I told him day after day that he had me and there was no getting rid of me. He simply had to get better because I wouldn’t let him give up. I was just as much his anchor as he was mine. We needed each other. Our bond was too strong to let go of it now.

Wondering if I should move, I stirred a little. I had a feeling every bone and muscle in my body would cry out the minute I lifted my head.

“Who’s Dean?”

Jeremy’s voice startled me, making me snap my head up quicker than I had planned. I was right. It did hurt. A lot.

“What?” I asked, still a little groggy, but once my eyes fixed on Jeremy, I gasped. He looked so much better. “Jeremy!” I cried, jumping out of my seat to give him a big kiss.

Jeremy laughed. “You missed me that much?”

I nodded and gave him a little nudge. Already the tears were threatening to run. “Don’t you ever do that to me again! I was frightened out of my wits.”

Jeremy laughed. “I know. Rachael’s already filled me in. You really stayed at the hospital this whole time?”

I nodded and saw a hint of moisture in his eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered, turning his head away a little. I knew he was getting emotional and I knew he was trying desperately to keep his tears in check.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, trying to change the subject for him.

“I feel a lot better. I still feel a little tired, which is weird because I’ve been out for the last four days.” He chuckled a little and looked towards me as I touched his hand.

“I’m so sorry, Jeremy. We shouldn’t have gone out that day.”

Jeremy’s smile vanished as he tugged my hand. “Don’t you dare take that away from me. I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. It was the best day of my life. Something else to cross off my list. The only thing left now is a kiss from Julie.” He smiled.

Not wanting to remember this “Bucket List” of his, I went on to tell him what I thought. “Well, that is something for us to look into once you’re better and out of this hospital.”

Jeremy looked sad and stared at his bed. “It frightens me a little—you know, leaving here. I don’t want to end up in some kind of centre for kids my age.”

I gave Jeremy a cheeky smile. I had been planning this in my head for the last four days. It just felt right. “When you’re better, how would you like to move in with me? You could stay, get into school, and once you’ve found your feet, we can take it from there. I’m not going to see you homeless, Jeremy. No way.”

“Are you serious?”

I nodded. “As serious as I’ll ever be.”

As quickly as his smile came, it vanished and he shook his head. “I can’t. You have enough to deal with without a teenage boy hanging around your flat. It wouldn’t be fair for you. And what about your stranger? He might not like me living with you.”

I must admit, the thought had crossed my mind but, in the end, that didn’t matter.

Grabbing his hand, I squeezed it. “Don’t be silly, Jeremy. If he’s not happy, he can go and find some other apartment to eat cookies and move things around in,” I laughed. “It will be fun. I have a small room I use for work, but we can buy you a bed. I can move all my work things into my room. There’s plenty of space in there anyway.” When he didn’t say anything, I bit my lip. “Come on, Jeremy. I want you with me. I want you to know you have someone. I’m here for you now. I told you that you weren’t getting rid of me that easily.” I gave him my cheeky grin and he finally smiled.

“Fine. I’ll come and stay with you, but on one condition. No funny business. I can’t have you sneaking into my room at night, no matter how irresistible it can be.”

I laughed, but crossed my heart. “I promise.”

Listening to what Jeremy had just said about sneaking into his bedroom made me think about my stranger. I wonder if he’d been into my apartment. I wonder if he’d been getting frustrated, not knowing where the hell I was. The thought had me smiling.

“Holy shit!” Jeremy shouted. I raised my eyebrow at him. He just shrugged his shoulders. “You got to admit, this is definitely a holy shit moment.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I think I have to agree with you there.”

Suddenly, Jeremy sat up. “Now that we’re going to be roomies, are you going to tell me about Dean?”

My back straightened and my eyes widened. “How on earth do you know about him?”

Jeremy smiled. “Just before you woke up, you moaned and whispered Dean. I just figured he meant something to you. Does he mean something to you?”

I cringed. Of course he meant something to me. He meant the world to me. He was my first love, then disappeared without a trace. Something I don’t think I’ll ever get over. I shrugged. “It’s complicated.”

Jeremy wasn’t buying it. “Complicated as in you still have feelings for him?” When I didn’t say anything, he rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, Tyler. It’s me you’re talking to. Don’t pretend I can’t see what’s really going on. Tell me. What’s your story?”

I sighed, but accepted the fact that Jeremy was now a part of me and probably knew more about me than anyone. I trusted him implicitly, and I hoped he felt the same about me.

Shifting in my seat, I began my story. “Well, when I was six-years-old, I lived in Buckinghamshire. Ever since I could remember, I was best friends with this boy named Ian. I started my second year of school and the first day, Dean arrived. We were inseparable. We grew up together, played together, went through puberty together. We all had a connection, a strong bond we thought would last until the day we died.”

Jeremy quickly cut in. “What happened?” He looked really interested and it made me smile a little. It also made me a little sad thinking about all I had lost.

“As I said, we grew up together and were all really close, but Dean and I were closer. We would do things together.” I saw Jeremy’s eyebrow hitch, and I swatted him. “Not like that, Jeremy. He was always a gentleman. He told me he wanted us to be together, but because he was two years older, he wanted to wait until I was at a more mature age.” I saw Jeremy smile. “Stop that. Why does everything have to be smutty with you?” I joked.

Jeremy shook his head with a smile. “It doesn’t. Please, go on. I want to hear the rest.”

I saw how serious he was, so I continued, “Dean made his intentions clear. He even hinted at marriage and flowers—”

“Flowers?”

I nodded. “Yeah, flowers. He said I was the type of woman that should have a flower brought home to her every day, and he would do that with me once we were married. He was waiting for me, and the more he waited, the more I wanted it all to be true. I loved him, Jeremy. I know that sounds crazy to say when I was so young, but it’s just something—”

“That you will never get over,” Jeremy finished.

I smiled, but nodded. “Yes, exactly.”

“So, what happened? I mean, something must have happened; otherwise, you would have mentioned him by now. Not once have you said his name. If it wasn’t for that dream, I’m guessing I never would have known about him at all.”

I laughed a little, thinking how perceptive he was for someone so young. “I’m still really good friends with Ian. We never lost touch. We went to school together, the university together, and we’re now working together.”

“But Dean?”

“Dean disappeared one day. He and his family just up and left without a word. Dean warned me he may be leaving, but I never really thought it would happen. He promised me he would come back for me if it did, but he never returned. To this day, I don’t know why he left, or why he never returned like he was supposed to. Like I said, he was my first love and someone I thought I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Did you and he...?” Jeremy asked, a smile on his face.

“No,” I smirked back. “But we were supposed to once I turned sixteen. He was determined to wait for me until at least then.”

“So he left before you were sixteen?”

“No, just after.”

“So you never had a chance.”

“No.”

“So, who did you finally lose it with?”

I sighed. “Once I had passed all my A-levels at eighteen, we all went to a friend’s house. It was a huge party because everyone was celebrating their end-of-year results. I got a little drunk and met someone. We immediately hit it off. His name was Dillon and I liked him simply because he was kind of mysterious. You see, he had a lot of hair, but I knew there was someone I wanted to get to know underneath it all. With the alcohol running through my system, I told him I was still a virgin. He was shocked because I think every girl my age had slept with at least one person by now. I was in the minority. Anyway, one thing led to another. He offered, I accepted, and the rest is history.”

“Was it good?” he asked, excited.

I winced a little, remembering that it was a little painful. “It was how I expected for my first time, but Dillon was unbelievably gentle. He was patient and kind, making the whole process more pleasurable than I could have imagined.” Why on earth I was telling him this, I had no idea.

“So what happened to Dillon? Did you see each other again? Start a relationship?”

I shook my head. “No. I never saw or heard from him again, and that was fine by me. Dillon made sure I got what I was after, and if I had to do it all over again, I would. I would much rather have it like that than some random guy who didn’t give a crap about my feelings.” I sighed, sinking back in my chair before looking up to meet Jeremy’s eyes. “Why am I telling you all this?” I asked with a laugh.

Jeremy shrugged. “It’s easy to tell all your secrets to someone who you know won’t judge you, or who has had a lot of history with you. That’s the problem with friends at times. Once they know you, they judge everything you say and do. They always have advice and always want to take over.”

I saw Jeremy’s expression and knew he had been hurt before. “I understand what you mean, Jeremy, but not all friendships are like that. You have friends so you can share experiences and offer guidance when needed, without control or judgement. Anyone who tries to take over your life is never truly your friend.” I sat silently for a moment, wondering whether he wanted me to push further with this. “Did someone sting you, Jeremy?” I asked.

He looked down and nodded. “Yeah. His name was Stuart and he was the son of one of the foster parents I went to stay with. We were roughly around the same age so we became friends really quickly. I felt like I had finally found someone I could trust. The problem was that he was just using me to get away with murder with his parents. Whenever he did something wrong, he would blame me for it. I kept wondering why I would get accused of things I didn’t do. The third time, he stole money from his parents and told them he had caught me going into his mum’s purse. When his mum and dad told me Stuart had caught me, I finally realised what he had been doing. I was never his friend. I was just his scapegoat.”

I placed my hand on his. “I’m sorry to hear that, Jeremy. I hope whoever this Stuart is got his comeuppance in the end. He was never worthy of your friendship and I hope you realise that. I also hope you realise not everyone is a Stuart. I would never, ever intentionally hurt you or let you down. You have my word on that.”

Jeremy smiled and tugged on my hand. “You look tired. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep? We can both get some sleep and you can come visit in the morning. Unless, of course, you need to go to work.”

I shook my head. “No. I’ve been working from the hospital the last four days. Tomorrow’s Friday. I may as well have the week off.” I smiled brightly. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Although I was exhausted, the shock of the last four days was taking its toll. I didn’t want to leave him. Seeing Jeremy lying on the floor like that and feeling completely helpless had left me utterly shaken and bewildered.

He nodded. “Of course. It gives you an excuse to get me some Twiglets on the way in tomorrow.” Jeremy winked with an impish grin.

“Okay,” I answered, still a little unsure. “I still want to be called if anything happens. They told me what you did the morning of your birthday. I was touched.”

Jeremy gave me a shy smile. “Aww, shucks. I’m glad I could touch you.”

I gasped. “Jeremy, stop that right now.”

Jeremy laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh right along with him. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help that. You’re so easy to wind up. Living with you is going to be fun.”

Looking at Jeremy, I saw a hint of happiness for the first time. He looked practically radiant with it. With that thought in mind, I was determined to make sure he fought this thing because now he had me to fight it with him.

Just as I got up, Rachael came over. “I see we’re a lot better now,” she playfully scolded.

I nodded. “Oh yeah. He is definitely on the mend.” With a roll of my eyes, I shook my head.

“She secretly loves it,” Jeremy whispered to Rachael.

I laughed and looked at Rachael. “I’m going to go now.” I made my voice sound a little hard as I stuck my tongue out at Jeremy. Both he and Rachael laughed as I grabbed my coat.

“If he needs me for anything, no matter what time it is, please call.” Rachael nodded and Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“I’m right here, you know. I can hear everything you say.”

I cringed. “I’m sorry. I just worry about you. I never want to see you like that again.”

He saw the tears in my eyes and his face softened. “I know. I don’t really want that to happen again, either.”

I sucked in a breath, trying to get my feelings in check. “Well, we’re all in agreement then.” I leaned over Jeremy’s bed and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “Sleep well and I’ll see you tomorrow.” I turned and started to walk away.

“With the Twiglets!” he shouted.

With a wave, I laughed and walked out of the door. “With the Twiglets.”

Once I was outside, the cold night air hit me and I gritted my teeth. It was dark and freezing, and I just wanted to get to my car. For some reason, the last four days were catching up with me and I could feel the need to burst rising throughout me.

I got to my car and started her up. I put the heat on and grabbed the wheel with a deep breath. I didn’t want to lose it here. I couldn’t. I had to get home first. I had to lock myself away from prying eyes and just be alone in my bed. It was only nine at night, but I didn’t care. The first thing I would do when I got in was shower and get straight to bed.

And that’s exactly what I did.





Chapter 30



Dean



Revenge is barren in itself. It is the dreadful food it feeds on.

Its delight is murder, and its end is despair.

Friedrich Schiller





I was wound up tight, wondering where she had been the last four days. I even found myself outside her parents’ house, wondering if she had found out who I was and decided to flee to the safest place she could think of. However, a part of me didn’t think Tyler was the type of girl to run and hide. She would face me head-to-head. I knew that because that was the girl I fell in love with all those years ago. The girl I thought I would marry. The girl who turned me into the beast I am. What Tyler didn’t realise was I would have given her everything if she had asked. She would have never been lonely, never been scared, never would have wanted for anything. I had the means to give her everything beyond her wildest dreams. Even if she wanted a trip into space to see the stars up close, I would have gone to hell and back to get it for her. The only thing I would have asked for in return was her love, affection, and complete and utter loyalty. I didn’t think that was too much to ask. Now I was a man incapable of love. A demon who sought to hurt and destroy. A beast who sought revenge.

I was getting a little too antsy. I wanted to know where she was and who she was with. In the end, I found myself driving towards her apartment a little earlier than normal, just so I could make a decision on my next move if she wasn’t there. I took the Vanquish tonight, simply because I could do with a rest from the Dodge. I had driven up here too many times in that car. It was best to remain elusive in my actions. I didn’t want to become too predictable.

I parked in my normal spot and took the stairs. My heart was thumping again because I didn’t know what I would find. I didn’t want the disappointment of knowing there was an empty apartment that hadn’t been used in days.

With a careful turn of the key, I pulled up my hood and pushed the door open a little. Everything was dark so I assumed she wasn’t home again. But then I saw her bag, coat, and keys, and knew she must be here somewhere. I shut the door behind me and, as quietly as I could, I edged towards her bedroom. When I got to her door and pushed it open, what I saw floored me. Tyler was lying on the bed with a nightie on. She was curled up into a ball, holding onto some tissues. She had been crying. A part of me wanted to rush to her, scoop her into my arms, and tell her everything was going to be okay. Me, the one who wanted to harm her, suddenly had this urge to protect her from the horrible outside world? What was wrong with me? I needed to get a fucking grip. For a moment, I thought maybe I should leave. In fact, I turned to do just that when I heard her voice.

“Please hold me,” she whispered, a whimper in her voice. My whole body tensed, my teeth clenched, and my heart thumped at the thought that Tyler needed me. Of course she needed me. That was what I had planned all along. But why was she here after being away for days? Why had she been crying? Who the fuck did that to her?

Against my better judgement, I walked over to Tyler’s bed and lay beside her. She curled her back into the curve of my body, and I immediately caught that familiar whiff of her coconut lotion. I couldn’t help it. My dick reacted. It always did around her.

“Where have you been?” I asked a little sternly.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Please, can you just hold me?”

The burn in my stomach surfaced at the thought that someone had done this to her. “Did some fucker hurt you?” I asked without thinking. It sounded like I cared, and I’m not supposed to care. I’m not supposed to want to rip apart whoever dared to come within five feet of her. I shouldn’t give a shit but, for some reason, another ugly demon surfaced within me. I could feel the rage at the thought of another man touching her, another man daring to come near her, another man hurting her. If anyone needed to fulfil that desire, it was me. I shouldn’t want to protect her, I shouldn’t want to care for her, and I certainly shouldn’t want to fucking scoop her away and never let her go.

“No one hurt me,” she whispered again. The way she said it was like her heart was breaking. It was all too much to listen to. When I was about to ask her what happened, she turned to me. She tried, but failed to find my face. I could see her twinkly eyes trying to find me in the dark.

“Kiss me,” she breathed, a hint of want in her voice. “Please.”

I instantly stiffened. I wanted to kiss her, but I knew the minute I did, I would be lost. I knew what it was like to kiss her, and I vowed I wouldn’t put myself in that position again.

“Kiss me,” she pleaded again, gripping onto my sweatshirt. I knew there was something wrong with her. She was in pain and I’d be damned if it didn’t fucking kill me to see her like this.

Fuck, I needed to get a grip.

When I didn’t answer, she gripped me tighter. “No,” I finally managed to say. Immediately, she let go, and I didn’t know why I felt sudden disappointment clouding me.

“If you won’t let me kiss you, let me see something of you. Anything. Please.”

I was going to say no, but then I thought about it for a moment. Is she really going to figure out who I am just from seeing a part of me? I had said no before, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to deny her this.

Turning away from her, I lifted up my top to bare my back. For a moment, she didn’t move, but then I felt her get off the bed and open the curtain a little. With the moon shining on my back, she could finally see the faint outlines of my tattoos.

I felt the bed dip and Tyler scooting over to touch them. She surprised me by kissing each one and, fuck, did it make my dick stiff.

I felt her tracing the outline of my dragon tattoos. “Are they fighting?” she asked in a soft voice.

“Yes,” I answered, feeling her trail her fingers across each one.

“Why?”

I sighed, wondering whether to answer her. “Because they represent good versus evil.”

Feeling her fingers trail down my back, I almost shuddered. “Do they represent you?”

I tensed. I wasn’t even sure showing her the tattoos was a good idea, let alone telling her what they represented.

“Yes,” I finally answered.

“Do you think there is good and evil in you?”

“No. I don’t think there is any good in me at all. I think the dark dragon wins.”

“I can’t believe that,” she answered in a stern voice. “I don’t believe there could possibly be evil in you.”

I didn’t like where this was heading. I didn’t like that she was trying to reach into my soul and see the goodness in me. I hid it away for so long, it couldn’t possibly be there anymore.

“A dragon is capable of love, just as I am capable of loving a dragon,” she whispered softly.

Shit, she wasn’t hinting that she loved me, was she? Closing my eyes, I tried to gather momentum. “You could never love me, Tyler. I am a demon.”

“Can’t demons love, too?” she asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because a demon has no love to offer.”

I heard her sigh softly. “I don’t believe you,” she whispered again. “What does this represent?”

I felt her fingers at my lotus tattoo on my shoulder. “It’s a lotus flower.”

“Ah,” she said, with a hint of recognition. “Because you are Lotus. What does that represent?”

I kind of knew she would ask me, so I gave the honest answer. It certainly wasn’t what it represented, though. “A lotus flower blooms from muddy waters.”

I felt her finger stop trailing for a moment. “You’re a wealth of contradictions. First, you say you have no good in you, then you give me symbols of rising from muddy waters. Are you saying you’re in the muddy water? If you are, there must be good in you. One day, you will flower, Lotus. One day, you will rise from those murky waters.”

I suddenly got angry at her. “You don’t know anything about me, Tyler. I would suggest you stop trying to fucking psychoanalyse me. I’ve already told you I have no love to give. We fuck. That’s it between you and me.”

I felt her recoil and instantly regretted being harsh with her. I couldn’t let her unravel me. I couldn’t let her see the old me. I thought she was going to get angry and start sulking, so I was surprised when she kept going with her finger.

“What does this one represent?”

Her finger was at the crevice of my back. I knew she was outlining the Japanese calligraphy that ran all the way down the crevice. “It is kurobi, which is Japanese for ‘Black Belt’.”

She stopped her finger and I heard a small gasp. “You’re a black belt in karate?”

“Yes, in Tae Kwon Do.”

Soon, Tyler was tracing her finger all the way up the other shoulder. The one that was hidden from her view. I couldn’t possibly let her see that tattoo.

“Why can’t I see your other shoulder?”

I knew she would ask and I knew then that the tattoo admiration was over. Pulling the sweatshirt back over me, I sighed, “Close the curtain, Tyler.”

I knew I was cutting her off, but I didn’t care. She was getting too close for comfort now. The tattoo she was so desperate to see was the first one I got done just before my parents died. It was a set of angel wings with Tyler’s name in the middle. I got it done for her. I was going to show her as soon as I came back. I wanted her to see just how much she meant to me.

“Why won’t you open up to me?”

“Why won’t you tell me why you were crying when I came in?”

She stopped talking after that, just like I knew she would. Two could obviously play that game. She got up, closed the curtain, and came back to bed.

I was going to turn around to face her, then I felt her hands crawl underneath my shirt to caress my back. “Thank you for showing me your tattoos,” she breathed and I knew she was switching tactics. She wanted me now and, of course, I was going to give her what she wanted.

“You came inside me,” she stated, rubbing her hands up and down my back.

My lips curved into a smile. “I’m clean, so you don’t have to worry.”

“I know,” she answered. “I got tested.”

I wanted to ask how she could have done that so quickly, but her parents had just as many connections as I did

“Is that why you’ve been hiding away from me these last few days, because you were angry with me?”

She laughed a little and scratched my back. Fuck, this woman did things to me I wished she didn’t. “No. Where I’ve been has nothing to do with you.”

That answer both upset and angered me. I had let her slip and was damned if I would let it happen again. From now on, if I wasn’t watching her, I would make sure somebody else was.

Suddenly, Tyler got off the bed. She knelt in front of me, looking up towards my hoodie. With her right hand, she reached out to grab my zipper.

On instinct, my hand reacted, grabbing her wrist tightly. I could see the hurt and shock in her eyes, but she was daring to take control here. I couldn’t let that happen.

“Please,” she said, looking up at me. “I want to please you. I need this.”

I saw the pain in her eyes and, for some reason, I didn’t have the heart to tell her no. Instead, I released my grip, making her smile timidly towards me.

With a tug of my zipper, she freed me. The moment she did, I felt a huge relief. I had been wanting her touch for too long now. If I admitted it to myself, I needed this just as much as she did.

Darting out her tongue, Tyler gently licked the tip of my cock. I hissed a little, desperately wanting her to carry on. Stroking her hair, I gripped it tightly and heard a moan escape her lips. It had been so fucking long, I had forgotten that Tyler liked it a little rough.

Tyler sucked down the length of my shaft. I was impressed that she could take so much. That thought alone nearly had me coming in her mouth, and there was no way I was going to come in her mouth tonight.

Tyler carried on teasing me with that fucking delectable tongue of hers. She trailed it up and down my shaft before reaching the tip. With a flick of her tongue, she dived down onto my cock with relish. For a while, I relaxed and let her take centre stage. I fisted her hair and guided her down, needing to push as much of me in her as possible.

As the pleasure built, I grabbed her hair and pulled her off. “Stop,” I breathed heavily. “Get up,” I ordered. She did as she was told and I gazed upon her in her nightgown. Her breasts were beautifully pert, and her nipples were straining against the fabric. “What have I told you about wearing things in bed?” I asked. She was going to answer, but I didn’t give her a chance. Instead, I ripped the fabric from her body, watching as it fell to the floor. Tyler gazed at me with horrified lust in her eyes. She couldn’t believe I had done it, but she fucking loved that I did.

“See, this is what fucking happens when you wear something in bed. Now you know for next time.” I gazed upon her beautiful body. Tyler was never a skinny girl, but I loved that about her. She had curves in all the right places, and breasts that were the perfect size. Not too small, not too big.

“Turn around,” I ordered again. “Walk backwards towards me.” She did as instructed and I found myself stroking her backside. That was something else to admire of hers. Tyler’s ass was round and perfect. Everything about Tyler was perfect.

Trailing my hands up around her waist, I journeyed towards her breasts. I grabbed one in each hand and pinched her nipples. She threw her head back and moaned.

“I wonder how wet you are for me, Tyler. I wonder if you’re as soaking wet for me as I think you are.” I carried on pinching and messaging her breasts. She was practically wiggling under my touch. She ached for a release only I could give her.

I heard her murmur something unintelligible as my hand wandered down towards her stomach, then down to her pussy. My finger parted her lips as I delved deeper to find her drenched and swollen for me. “So fucking wet for me. All. The. Fucking. Time,” I stated, plunging my finger inside her a little. She bucked, leaning forward a little and raising that fucking pert ass of hers in front of me.

My cock throbbed, almost as if it were smelling her. It sought her wet heat out like a radar. I wanted so much to grab her and plunge myself deep inside her. Instead, I manoeuvred my hand around the back of her and fingered her from behind. I plunged in and out, with her meeting my thrusts time and time again. Pulling out, I moved a little further up until I found that little nub of hers. I pinched it gently and she almost fell at my touch. I fucking loved that she had this reaction to me. I loved that she was so in tune with me. I loved that she was at my fucking mercy.

“You love it when I touch your pussy, don’t you, Tyler?” She moaned and I rubbed her clit harder. “Don’t you?”

“Yes,” she answered breathlessly. “Lotus, please. I need you inside me. I need to feel you.”

I ignored her pleas and kept going. Once my fingers were wet enough, I moved a little further back towards her ass. She tensed at first, but then, as if she remembered, she relaxed and even presented herself to me. I took that as my permission and plunged a finger into her ass. She moaned again, giving me that pleasure of hers. My dick ached. It was almost becoming unbearable.

Pulling my finger out, I grabbed her hips and positioned her over my cock. “One last chance, Tyler. I can put a condom on, but—”

“Please,” she begged, interrupting me. “Just fuck me.”

I smiled at her pleas, but didn’t want to wait any longer. “As you wish,” I stated and plunged her down on my cock. Tyler cried out, and my dick practically celebrated as it felt her familiar wet heat surrounding me. Her pussy clenched a little and I couldn’t help the growl that escaped me.

With a lift of her hips, Tyler rose up and down on my cock, trying to take control as she rode me. I was going to let her for a little while, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to last too long. I liked to be in control. It was all I had ever known since my parents’ death.

As Tyler spread her legs a little, I felt her reach down to stroke my balls. That was when I knew I needed to gain the control back.

I reacted fast, holding her in place on top of my cock. She moaned in frustration, but soon enough, I had her surrendering to me as I stroked her clit and fondled her breasts. She tried to move again, but I stopped her. I needed to be the one to dominate. Despite the fact she was on top of me, I knew I needed this.

Carrying on with my rubbing, I felt Tyler cry out as her orgasm was getting close. With no time to waste, I grabbed her hips and forced her up and down on my cock. I made her ride me fast, her breathing and moaning becoming out of control.

“Lotus,” she cried as she moaned and writhed beneath me. “Bite me,” she said.

Her request almost shocked me, but this was the wild side of Tyler coming out. The side that yearned to be fucked relentlessly and treated with debauchery.

I steadied her with one hand, and yanked her hair back with the other. Tyler cried out as I pulled her back towards me. Knowing I couldn’t do all this with only one hand, I let Tyler ride me as I squeezed her breast.

“You want me to bite you?” I whispered into her ear. She moaned again so I grabbed her hair. “What do you say, Tyler? What do you fucking say to me?” I gripped her hair tighter in my fist, causing her to shudder and moan even louder.

“Bite me, please,” she begged, and I almost came inside her right then.

Rising my hand up to her breast, I carried on, moving until I got to her chin. I pulled her head back towards me and latched onto her neck. I sucked and she moaned, desperate to move faster, but also desperate to feel my mouth latched onto her. As she rode me, I placed a finger down on her clit, swiping across it. Tyler cried out and I felt her clench on my cock. Closing my eyes, I sucked harder on her neck, knowing that my release was not far behind. Tyler screamed and I let go of her, grabbing her hips and plunging my cock deep within her. She let me set the pace again as the pleasure of her pulsating pussy squeezed my cock in a vice-like grip. I could feel the pressure rising in my balls. I let it build as I guided her up and down, grunting.

With a growl, I felt myself shoot inside of her. My cock pumped and pumped as my release went on and on. Tyler moaned again as I thrust myself one last time into her.

Letting go of my hands, Tyler stayed there, resting on my cock. I closed my eyes, breathing her in and basking in the glow of my orgasm. No matter what, she always knew how to drive me crazy.

Knowing I couldn’t stay around, I smacked her ass to make her move. Tyler yelped a little, but took the hint. Standing up, she winced, making me want to ask if she was okay. Why the fuck should I care if she was okay? The woman was a witch, working that voodoo magic of hers for all it was worth. I couldn’t let her get me under her spell. I couldn’t let her trap me like she did all those years ago. I was weak and vulnerable back then. I was also in love. A pussy-whipped fucking numpty. But not anymore. I couldn’t let her in.

“You’re going to leave me now, aren’t you?” she whispered a hint of sadness running through her voice.

“You know the rules, Tyler. Are you telling me you didn’t enjoy what just happened? That I didn’t satisfy your ultimate desires?”

I heard her chuckle a little, and couldn’t help but turn around to look at her. She looked amazing sprawled across her bed, completely naked and completely mine. Always. Fucking. Mine. She didn’t need to say anything. Just her presence alone was enough to make my body vibrate with need, my cock pump with blood, and my head thump in agony. I was in turmoil whenever I looked at her. A part of me wished I could take back that day and forget it ever happened. Take Tyler in my arms and tell her who has been sneaking into her room for the past three years. I had always been there, always been around in her life in one form or another. She didn’t know, but I practically grew up with her as much as Ian had. I had never disappeared like she assumed. I had been with her more than she knew.

“I just wish you would stay a little longer,” she purred, giving me the perfect outline of her body. I watched as her hair splayed around her shoulders towards her pert breasts. I watched as the curve of her body dipped into her waist, then out again as her hips cried out for me to grab them.

No way. Oh no, Deany boy. You’re not letting her fucking voodoo magic work its wonders on you now. Go! Go before you make a huge mistake.

So I fastened up my zipper and stood up, noticing Tyler was still lying on her bed. She saw me move to leave and pouted a little bit.

“Don’t sulk, Tyler. I’ll be back for more. That is always one thing you can guarantee with me.”

“You’re such a tease,” I heard her whisper as I headed for the door.

I let out a rough chuckle. “You’re the tease, Tyler. You’re sprawled across your bed, looking like a fucking sex goddess. How can you expect me not to want to take you again?”

Rising from her position, Tyler turned herself towards me, opening her legs slightly so I could get a better view. I couldn’t help it. I growled. My dick swelled and my heart pumped faster as I gazed upon her naked form. When she heard my growl, Tyler shuddered and smiled that sexy grin of hers. Closing her eyes, she made a little satisfactory moaning noise as her eyes searched for my face.

“Why not take me again? Take me anyway you want, Lotus. Why don’t you come over here and fuck me again? I want you to fuck me. You can fuck me hard just like you know I like it.”

What. The. Fuck?

What was she trying to fucking do to me? Did she not know the buttons she was pressing? Could she not see the hidden demon within me? The one that wanted to ravish, tarnish, and devour her until there was nothing left?

Fisting my hands tightly, I growled again. Tyler let out a little gasp, and I knew she was just dripping wet for me now. I only had to be here and that was enough to get her pussy throbbing. She was the fucking devil in disguise.

Closing my eyes, I tried desperately to calm myself down. No matter how much my body yearned to take her again, no matter how much my dick throbbed in protest, I couldn’t let her win. I was in control—not her.

I took a deep breath, then opened my eyes again, trying hard not to look at her too much. I knew if I did, I would relent.

Instead, I tried my best to bring back my playful composure. “You can never have too much of a good thing, Tyler. Good night.”

I started moving, waving as I went, and walked out the door. I was pumped, but also horny as fuck. I didn’t know when enough was enough when it came to Tyler. What I said definitely had an element of truth. If you had too much of a good thing, you just got complacent with it. I never wanted Tyler to get complacent with me. I wanted to keep her on her toes, begging for more. Always begging for more.

As I neared my Vanquish, I pulled out my phone to call Jimmy. “Hey. What’s up, boss?” I heard his gruff London accent say as I got in my car.

“I need you to do another job.”

“Okay. Who do you want me to take this time?”

Gritting my teeth, I shook my head. The thought of Jimmy taking Tyler filled me with rage. “I don’t want you to take anyone. I need you to watch someone for me for a little while.”

“Give me the details.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to share Tyler with anybody, but I couldn’t be everywhere at once, and I needed to know what she was doing during the day. Why she had been away for a week, and who it was that fucking upset her. If I found out somebody hurt her, I would rip their fucking heart out and feed it to their dog.

“I will send you a picture of her later but, for now, I need you to be at this address by seven o’clock tomorrow morning.” I ran off the address of the building.

“I’m watching a female, am I?”

I heard the tone in his voice and it made my blood boil. “Yes, and you can keep any fucking ideas of going anywhere near her to yourself. You’re just to watch her, Jimmy. Nothing else.”

“Whoa, Dean. Don’t fucking go nuts. I hear ya.”

Shit, I didn’t need this. Now Jimmy knew I had a weakness. A weakness for a witch in fucking sexy high heels. This was how I had managed to grow as strong as I have. My empire was as big as any other out there simply because I never showed anyone my weaknesses. If you did that, you were showing your vulnerability. Tyler would quickly become a target if Jimmy ever wanted to screw me over.

“All you need to do is follow her and report back to me if she does anything other than go to work and come home. You got that?”

“Sure thing, boss. What is she to you anyway?”

I sighed deeply, trying to keep myself in check. “It’s none of your fucking business,” I stated matter-of-factly.

“You’re not planning on hurting her, are you? I mean, I don’t mind being involved in anything, but I won’t be involved in hurting any women or children, Dean. That shit is fucked up.”

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I was planning on hurting her, just not in the sense that Jimmy was referring to. “Jimmy, if you have to ask, you surely don’t know me. Have I ever asked you to hurt a woman, or be involved in hurting a woman?”

“No.”

“When we went that time to Tommy’s house to teach him a lesson and found him there with his wife and kid, did I not tell you the plan was off?”

“Yes, you did. Sorry, boss. I wasn’t thinking.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I started the car. “I just need her watched. I don’t need you asking questions why. All you need to do is watch and tell me if she does anything out of the ordinary. Can you do that for me?”

“Of course.”

“Good. I’ll send you more details shortly.”

I hung up and drove out of my parking space, heading for the mansion. I didn’t want to stay there, but I had to for the next few days. I hadn’t heard from the police, but I took that to mean they hadn’t found Pinzano’s body yet. No doubt the bloated fuck would surface somewhere shortly—if he hadn’t already.

As I neared the garage, I pressed the button for the door and parked the car next to my Jaguar XF. I hadn’t used that car in a while. I suppose I should so that I’m not seen too much in the same vehicle.

As I got out, I placed the keys on the hook and made my way through the door and into the kitchen. Humphrey was there smiling, and I knew what that meant.

“Enjoy yourself this evening?”

Pulling the fridge door open, I grabbed a bottle of beer. I opened the top and took a swig. “A gentleman never tells.” I smiled.

“Hmm,” he answered. “Strange how you’ve always told me about your conquests, but Tyler is off limits? What is so special about her?”

I knew where this was heading, but I did my best not to let him get to me. “Tyler is special and you know full well the reasons why.”

Grinning, Humphrey grabbed an apple and bit into it. “Yes, but you’re not one to have the same pussy for too long. You’re motto was always once was enough. When was the last time you fucked anyone other than Tyler? I know you didn’t fuck Samantha or Katie the other night, but not once have you invited a girl back to your place to do just that.”

I grunted and took another sip of my beer. “I’m too fucking busy to worry about a whiney woman right now, Humphrey. And that’s just what they are. No matter how many fucking times I tell them it will be one time and one time only, they always want to be the one that breaks me. To be the one that finally catches Dean Scozzari.”

Humphrey sighed, taking another bite of his apple before reaching for the door. “From where I’m standing, Dean Scozzari has already been caught. In fact, he was caught a long time ago. I just don’t think he quite realises it yet.”

Humphrey walked out the door and I was left reeling over what he just said. It pissed me off that I was feeling more for Tyler than I wanted but, more than that, it pissed me off somebody else could see it.

Downing my beer, I walked down to the basement and into my cinema room. I never used this place as much as I should but, tonight, all I wanted to do was watch a Bruce Lee film. Before setting it all up, I sat down with another beer and sent all the info about Tyler to Jimmy. Once all was done, I tried to get lost in the movie. It was no use, though. Normally, Bruce Lee did the trick, but not tonight. Tonight, all I could see was Tyler’s body moving up and down on my cock as she moaned my name. She was everywhere in my head and I fucking hated it.



*****



I was in Tyler’s bedroom and could see Lotus. He was hovering over her with a knife and she was screaming at me to help her.

“Dean! Dean, please help. Please make him stop!” she cried as she bore her eyes into mine.

In a blind panic, I roared and rushed to tackle Lotus to the ground. I wanted to kill him for daring to touch her. I wanted him dead for even thinking it was okay to hurt her. But something was blocking my path. It was like I had an invisible glass in front of me, blocking me from saving her. I banged and kicked with all my might, but it didn’t break or give way. It was stronger than me and I felt weak.

I could see the fear in Tyler’s eyes, and the feeling of helplessness surrounded me. I wanted to help her. I wanted to save her from the demon.

Lotus—myself—turned to me as I stood there, giving me an evil smirk. He was goading me, knowing there was nothing I could do to stop him.

With a turn of his head, he went back to Tyler and raised the knife in the air. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, and I felt myself beginning to lose it, thinking I would never see Tyler again.

As the knife came down, Tyler looked at me one last time before screaming my name, “Dean!”



“Dean!”

I woke with a start, sweat dripping down my face as I scrambled to gain control. For a fleeting moment, I didn’t know where the fuck I was and the panic rose like never before. I felt a tug on my shoulder and was about to turn and swing…until I saw it was Humphrey.

“Fucking hell, Dean. You look like shit. What the hell is wrong with you? I was calling your name, and all you were doing was shouting something I couldn’t understand.”

Knowing it was all a bad dream, I felt my breathing calm a little. I could still see her pleading eyes, and I could still hear her screams for me to save her. Just as I had told her, the demon always won. Tyler would never listen to me, even when we were young.

“I’m fine. What do you want?” I asked, knowing I was snapping.

“The cops are here, Dean. They’re waiting for you upstairs.”

Rubbing my face in my hands, I sighed and looked at my watch. Fuck. It was ten-thirty? I had almost slept for ten hours?

“Okay. I’ll come right up.”

“Don’t you want a shower first? I can hold those fuckers up, if you’d like. It would be my pleasure.”

I looked at Humphrey’s smiling face, knowing just how much he loathed the cops. A while back, he did a stretch for an auto theft ring he had set up. It was very successful for a while, then he got too complacent with it and started making mistakes. Of course, the police were tailing him for a while, but Humphrey never knew anything about it. Then, one night, they raided his garage, confiscated the cars, and arrested him.

“No, it’s okay. Let’s get this over with. We knew they were bound to come at some point.” I raised my eyebrow at him. I think he knew what I meant. I didn’t need to kill anyone around here to raise any suspicion. If any whiff of a gang-related incident happened around here, I was immediately suspect number one. I’d never been caught simply because I was always careful. My parents were good at what they did, but there were lessons learned and I learned along with them. One thing in my favour was that I took everything in like a sponge. That was why I’d learned so much in so little time. With the sudden death of my parents, I was really left with little choice.

I walked past Humphrey and took the stairs up to the lounge. I knew exactly where to go as Humphrey always knew where to take guests like this.

As I opened the door, the two police officers sitting on my three thousand pound sofa stood up. One of the officers looked to be in his late thirties, whilst the other looked like he had only just left the clutches of Hendon, a police training academy. He was barely a kid. A snot-nosed rookie who was, more than likely, brown-nosing all the higher ranking officers.

“Gentleman, what can I do you for?” I smiled sweetly at both of them, holding out my hand. The older cop smiled, shaking my hand, but I didn’t even try to offer it to the younger one. He had the look of “he’s guilty” before I even got in the room. I was, but everybody was innocent until proven otherwise.

Sitting down, I motioned for them to take a seat. All the while, snot-nosed kid was watching my every move and, no doubt, sulking that I never offered him my hand.

“Can I offer you a drink? A coffee or tea, perhaps?”

Snot-nosed kid was about to speak, but the older cop beat him to it. “No, but thank you. I must say, Mr Scozzari, you look a little tired this morning. Did you have a late night?”

I chuckled. “You could say that. Sometimes women can be a handful, but I certainly am not complaining.” I winked towards the older cop, who laughed along with me. The snot-nosed kid didn’t find it so amusing. More than likely, he probably hadn’t even been laid himself yet.

“I suppose you’re wondering why we’re here,” older cop said, looking serious all of a sudden. I knew then that pleasantries were finished. “I’m Detective Sergeant Cartwright and this is Detective Constable Tomlinson. We are heading a murder investigation into a man whose body was found in the Thames River around the Kingston area on the early hours of yesterday morning.”

He paused and I nodded, looking perplexed. “That’s terrible. Do you know who it is?”

Cartwright cleared his throat a little. “He was a little unrecognisable when we found him. It seems he was tortured before his death. But initial reports suggest he was Antonio Pinzano.”

I clenched my teeth, but gave the officer a wry smile. It was deliberate, of course. This gesture, though, somehow confused him. “It looks as though you’re quite happy about this, Mr Scozzari.”

I nodded, leaning back in the chair, feeling completely at ease. “Let’s not beat around the bush, Detective Cartwright. I believe you’re here because you already know my history with the man. He was responsible for killing my parents. Who wouldn’t be happy that he was dead?”

Cartwright’s posture straightened “Allegedly responsible.”

I smiled. I couldn’t help it. I knew exactly what his tactics were, as I was expecting them. He was hoping I would get angry at his comment and lose my cool a little. Maybe reveal something in the heat of the moment. I was a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them.

“Quite,” was all I answered, showing him his comment didn’t mean a damn thing to me. Cartwright wasn’t happy with my calm demeanour—far from it. In a sense, he was the one starting to lose his cool.

“Are you admitting that you are responsible for his death in some way?”

Straightening a little, I put on my best “offended look”. “Was there any word in my last sentence that suggested I, in anyway, had anything to do with his death?”

“Well, you did admit that you were happy he was dead.”

“Yes, I did and yes, I am, but that in no way implicates me in the cause of his death. Let’s make no mistake, DS Cartwright. I hated the man. He allegedly killed my parents, and I would have loved to have been the man that drew the last breath from his body, but that doesn’t mean I did it.”

Cartwright smiled a little. “So, let’s get this straight. You had nothing to do with Mr Pinzano’s death?”

I shook my head. “No, of course not. I may be the son of a Scozzari, but that doesn’t mean I am one of them. If you look into me, which I know you must have by now, you will see I own many legitimate businesses which earn me a legitimate income.” I leaned back in my chair and smiled at them both. I didn’t need to act it because I felt it. They had nothing on me.

“Hmm,” Cartwright mused. “I understand that, but you must have thought about revenge, Mr Scozzari. Anyone would if they believed someone had killed their parents and gotten away with it.”

The word “revenge” swam around in my head. It was what I lived and breathed for my entire adult life. Of course I wanted revenge. I needed revenge, and I exacted my revenge. Who wouldn’t?

“There is a big difference between thinking of revenge and acting the revenge out, DS Cartwright. You, as a man of the law, know that above all else.”

He nodded and looked down at his notes, as snot-nosed Tomlinson just stared ahead. If this situation wasn’t so serious, I would be laughing by now.

Flicking through his notes, Cartwright suddenly looked up. “Mr Scozzari, can you tell me where you were between the hours of around eleven o’clock Saturday night until three o’clock in the early hours of Sunday morning?”

Looking up in the air, I appeared as if I was thinking. “Hmm, Saturday night. I was here at that time. I had a dinner party.” I smiled brightly as I knew what was coming.

“Okay. Would you be able to give the names of all your guests so that we can verify your story?”

I nodded. “Of course, but there was one particular guest I was with most of the evening. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind verifying my story.”

Cartwright looked a little pissed at the news, but not as pissed as he’ll be in the next few seconds. Poised with his pen ready, Cartwright looked down at his notepad. “Okay. Who was this person?”

With a megawatt smile, I thrummed my fingers on the sofa’s armchair. “I don’t think you need to write his name down. You all know him fairly well. The name’s Carmichael. Aidan Carmichael.”

Cartwright looked up, a shocked expression plastered all over his face. Snot-nosed Tomlinson just stared, his mouth wide open.

“You mean Chief Superintendent Aidan Carmichael?”

I smiled with a nod, then leaned forward. “The one and only,” I said in a whisper before I gave them a cheeky wink. I know shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t fucking help myself.

“He was here from around ten o’clock, I believe, and didn’t leave until about four in the morning. I was a little late showing up because I had a meeting with a business associate of mine at Buddies in Soho. I was there until about ten. I was certainly home by ten-thirty, then I stayed in the whole night. Carmichael can certainly vouch for that.”

Cartwright smiled resolutely, slightly shaking his head as he wrote all this down. “Okay,” he said, rising out of his seat. His little shadow soon followed suit and I knew that was my cue to be polite and show them to the door.

“I will go and speak with Chief Superintendent Carmichael when I get back. In the meantime, if you could write down a list of names of the other people that were here with you, that would be great.”

I smiled and nodded my head. “Sure thing. If you leave me your number, I’ll get it faxed over to you by this afternoon.”

Cartwright dipped into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “That would be great. Thank you for your cooperation. We’ll be in touch.”

I nodded. “No problem at all. You have a good day now.” I shook both their hands, but didn’t offer a goodbye smile to the snot-nosed kid. He was too busy being pissed off that he wasn’t carting me off in his brand new shiny little handcuffs that hung from the brand new shiny belt of his.

They left and I watched as they drove away. I couldn’t help the little wave I gave them as they went.

“You have no shame,” Humphrey whispered to me from behind.

I turned, noticing him shaking his head as he laughed. I couldn’t help the smile that formed. “What?” I asked, trying to act all innocent.

“Nothing,” he said, laughing a little louder. “It just somehow scares me just how much you’re like your father, but even more cunning. No wonder you get away with murder.”

I knew he was trying to be funny, so I just laughed along with him. “Fuck off, old man,” I replied jokingly. “Haven’t you got a certain lady friend you should be visiting now?” I looked at him a little quizzically. Humphrey had been dating this woman named Sonia who owned a clothes shop in Ealing. He was loved up and he knew it.

He looked at the time, then back up. “Hmm, I suppose I should be getting ready.”

I shook my head. “And you say I’m pussy-whipped.”

Humphrey waved a finger at me. “Ah, yes, but the difference is that I admit it. You wouldn’t.”

I shook my head and turned to leave, but Humphrey said, “If you have any problems with Carmichael later, let me know.”

I nodded. “I’m sure I can handle Carmichael, but thanks.”

I waved and took to the stairs to take a shower. No doubt the cops would be on their way back to the station by now, and their first stop would probably be to their chief superintendent. It made me smile a little. I had known Aidan Carmichael for a little over five years now. I followed him, got to know all his habits, his strengths, his weaknesses. What he liked, what he didn’t like. I took it all in, then “accidently” bumped into him at a bar one evening. His favourite team, Chelsea, was playing that night, and I pretended to be the ever-loyal fan that I knew he was. We got along splendidly. I invited him to functions and he invited me to his house to meet his wife, Cynthia, and his two daughters, Kerry and Maisy. I had never been interested in the weasel. He had a wife and two kids at home, but preferred to go out, use his status as a chief superintendent, and screw anyone he could get his hands on. I loathed men like that. If there was one thing I could definitely say about my father, it was that he had a lot of respect for women, and an even deeper respect for my mother. He doted on her and would constantly tell me how important it was to respect a woman. “When you find a good woman like your mother, you never once take advantage of the fact she is always there. And you never once stop looking at her without thinking just how goddamned lucky you are to have her. Every second you cherish, every moment never wasted. You treat her as you wish to be treated yourself. But I’ll tell you something else, son. That doesn’t mean you take no prisoners. You have to give respect when earned. If you find someone and she lets you down, don’t ever let her see she broke you. You stand tall, head held high, and you show her that a Scozzari never gets fucked over.”

Getting undressed for my shower, I shook my head with a smile as the memories of my father swam around in my head. He was always my inspiration. “Firm, but fair” was the best way to describe him. He would always be there to offer a hand, or simply smile and offer advice when needed. But if you ever fucked him over, you lived to regret it. There was no two ways about it.

As I stood under the shower and let the warm water massage my back, I thought about what my father said and how much his words inspired me to seek my revenge for what Tyler had done. I knew he would approve of what I was doing. No one fucks over a Scozzari. Nobody. Tyler would have had everything if she had let me in…if she hadn’t screwed me over.

Walking out of the shower, I dried myself as I went to into my room to find some clothes. As I was looking, my phone started ringing.

“Yes,” I answered abruptly.

“Dean, it’s Jimmy.”

Taking a seat on my bed, I smiled. “Jimmy, what have you got for me?”

He hesitated a moment, making me panic slightly that something was wrong with Tyler.

“She left the apartment a few minutes before nine and walked to St. Francis Hospital on Dexter Street. She’s back home now.”

I was confused. I couldn’t think of a reason she would be missing work and going there. Tyler never missed work, and I knew for a fact she hasn’t been in all week.

“What the fuck is she doing at the hospital?”

Jimmy hesitated again and sighed. “I don’t know.”

“What the fuck, Jimmy? What do you mean you don’t fucking know?”

Again he hesitated and I wanted to crawl through the phone and rip his throat out. “Hospitals freak me out.”

I laughed. “You are fucking kidding me, right?”

“I’m not kidding. I can’t go into a hospital.”

I shook my head in frustration. “Jimmy, you’re six foot five, weigh probably two hundred and thirty pounds. You’re the sickest fuck I know, who tortures people as a hobby, but you’re afraid of a fucking hospital?” I couldn’t believe my fucking ears!

“I’m not afraid,” he snapped. “They freak me out.”

I rolled my eyes. “And there’s a difference?”

“Yes, there’s a fucking difference. They have sick people in there with germs and shit.”

Grabbing my towel, I yanked it off me and went in search of some boxers. “Listen, Jimmy. I’m paying you well to follow Tyler around for a bit. I need to know exactly where she is going and who she is visiting. If she goes back to that hospital again, I don’t care how much you think you’ll catch the black fucking plague, you follow her in there and find out what the fuck she’s doing. You. Got. That?”

Jimmy sighed resolutely. “Yes.”

“Good. Now, is there anything else you like to tell me about that freaks you out? How about clowns, Jimmy? Do they freak you out? A dentist, perhaps?”

I heard Jimmy growl. “Fuck off!”

I laughed hard and ended the call. Silly, scared little fuck. The man’s a giant, yet he’s scared of a building? Jeez.

As I got dressed, I thought about what Tyler could possibly be doing in the hospital. Was she sick? When I went to her last night, she had been crying. Had she found out something bad at the hospital? Fucking numpty, Jimmy! If he’d just followed her in there, I would have known by now. I couldn’t fucking do it because it would risk me getting caught, especially now that she saw me that night at the mansion.

Thinking about this set me up in a bad mood all day. I found myself on edge and snappy, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. She looked healthy enough, but that didn’t necessarily mean shit in the grand scheme of things. Whatever was wrong, I had to find out. If Jimmy couldn’t fucking do it, I’d have to get someone else. I may need to fucking hire someone just so I didn’t use anybody that I knew. I didn’t like the fact I wasn’t in control here. I knew everything there was to know about Tyler but, somehow, I had missed this. Whatever reason she had taken a week off of work for must have been important. Tyler was many things, but a slacker wasn’t one of them.

So, throughout the day, I went to work, made calls, worked out, and generally let off steam. By evening, I was a little more relaxed, but it didn’t stop the nagging feeling in my gut. I hated it because someone could easily misconstrue this as worry. I didn’t worry about Tyler because she meant nothing to me.

“Dean, it looks like Carmichael is parking outside.”

Good, that meant he could come say what he had to say, then I could get back to my penthouse. I didn’t like staying here too long. It was a house filled with ill-repute and free-loaders. Fucking scum of the earth.

Pouring myself a drink, I offered one to Humphrey. He shook his head. “What’s the matter, Dean? You look shaken or something.”

I gritted my teeth. “I’m fine.”

I really did need to get a fucking grip. If Humphrey knew there was something wrong, so will Carmichael. I couldn’t let whatever shit was going on in my head affect my business here. This was my priority now, not her.

“Fine,” Humphrey said as the doorbell rang. “I’ll go answer that, shall I?”

I nodded with a smile and took a swig of my drink. I wasn’t sure what to expect when Carmichael got in here, but I sure had an inkling.

“Dean,” Carmichael boomed as he came into the lounge.

“Aidan, how are you? Care for a drink?”

I saw his hesitation but, in the end, he shook his head. “No. I assume you know why I’m here.”

I smiled wickedly at him. “Hmm, I had a little visit from a couple of your men today. Nice chaps.”

Carmichael sat down and placed his hat on the sofa. “Did you have anything to do with this, Dean? Did you use me that night?”

I put on my best offended look and frowned. “Of course not. Listen.” Walking over to the drinks cabinet, I poured him a large bourbon and sat down opposite him. Despite him denying the drink initially, I knew he really wanted it. “How long have we been friends now, Aidan? Five years?” Carmichael nodded and took a sip of his drink. “We have always been there for one another when we’ve had parties and such. Saturday night was just like any other night. Well, apart from the ladies, of course.” I smirked, but Carmichael remained aloof.

“I’m not stupid, Dean. Although you’ve never told me, I know there must be things you’re dealing in that are not legal. Those girls were a prime example. They were prostitutes, weren’t they?”

I gasped and got out of my chair. “Of course not,” I said, dumbfounded. “Samantha and Katie are two very good, very fuckable friends. Sure, they hang around me for my money and parties, and they take advantage of that every chance they get, but that doesn’t mean I pay to sleep with them, Carmichael. Women don’t see me. They see wealth. When they see the fucking pound signs shining in their eyes, they’d sleep with just about anybody.”

I could see Carmichael visibly relaxing, but he was still a bit on edge. “I don’t know, Dean. Everyone believes that Pinzano killed your parents, then he ends up in the river on the night of your party?”

I shook my head. “Pinzano had a lot of enemies, Carmichael. You must realise that. There must be countless people out there that he’s screwed over. It wouldn’t have been just me. Besides, why would I wait so long?” When I saw him deep in thought, I took my seat opposite him again. “I grew up in that kind of lifestyle and look what happened to my parents. I vowed I would never follow in their footsteps. I don’t want that kind of life for me or any children I may have later. You can understand that, right?”

Carmichael looked up and hesitated for a moment before smiling. “Of course. Sorry I doubted you, Dean. I should never have thought you’d use me like that. I apologise.”

Silly fuck!

“Don’t worry about it.” I smiled. “Apology accepted and all forgotten. Cheers,” I said, raising my glass. Carmichael smiled and clinked his glass with mine.

“I guess you’re wondering what I said to them? I, of course, corroborated your story as it was the truth. I obviously left out the part about Samantha and Katie, and I trust you did the same.”

I nodded. “Of course. That goes without saying. You are a married man, after all. The more we hide this, the better. For your family’s sake, as well as yours.” I said it in the most caring tone, but I was anything but. Carmichael was lowlife scum, plain and simple.

“I appreciate that, Dean. I love my wife and children. I can’t let them get hurt through something like this.”

Well, if you love them so much, why are you screwing around, you dumb fuck?

“What happened in this lounge that evening and upstairs in those rooms stays there. You have no worries about that, Carmichael.”

He gave me an appreciative smile and gulped down his drink. “How are Samantha and Katie, by the way?”





Chapter 31



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 2000





Walking through the park on the way to meet Dean and Ian, I was thinking about the fact that I turned sixteen soon. The prospect filled me with hope and desire for my future. Well, mine and Dean’s future. In the last few weeks, he had been looking at me funny. It was almost like a knowing look. Every time he did it, my knees went weak. He always knew how to do that but, lately, the stares he gave me were more intense. He was looking at me in a way that meant more than just a boy who simply liked a girl. It was potent, powerful, passionate, and damn fucking sexy.

Smiling, I bit my lip, thinking about the first time he would kiss me. He kept his promise, even to this day. He was the perfect gentleman, but I’d be damned if I didn’t sometimes wish he was less of one. It simply made me want him more—if that were possible.

“Tyler?” a voice called from behind me. “Tyler O’Shea?” I turned toward the voice and squinted at this boy I thought I should recognise from somewhere. I smiled, but it was a confused smile.

“You don’t recognise me, do you?” I shook my head. “Tim Baker from primary school. I was only there a couple of years, then moved. We’ve moved back, and I got a job on Sydney Street.”

I gasped a little, remembering that day when I first met Dean and he punched Tim for being rude to me. He looked a lot bigger and older now with short dirty blonde hair and an attempt at growing a goatee. He was trying, but it didn’t suit him. He was still too young for that trend.

“Ah, that Tim,” I said with a little chuckle.

He nodded, looking a little embarrassed. “Yeah, that Tim. Sorry about that day. I was young and stupid.”

I waved my hands to let him know it was okay. In fact, it was more than okay. It was then that I realised Dean was the boy for me. “Don’t worry about it.”

Tim edged closer and smiled at me. “You know, I have a confession to make.”

Raising my eyebrow, I smiled. “Oh yeah?”

Tim laughed a little, but came in even closer. “The real reason I chased you around the playground and pulled your hair was because I really liked you. I think I was kind of jealous.”

I started laughing. “No shit, Tim?” I couldn’t believe the boy who was so mean to me actually liked me.

“Yes, shit,” he laughed. “And nothing has changed. You’re still as gorgeous as ever.”

I blushed a little and looked away. It was difficult for me to receive a compliment. I had a lot more guys noticing me lately, and Dean had been going out of his freaking mind because of it. I secretly loved that.

“Are you seeing anyone, Tyler? I’d love it if we could maybe go for coffee or catch a movie sometime.”

I smiled, but my heart raced. I didn’t want to go out with him but, at the same time, I hated turning people down. “I’m, er...I am kind of with someone.” I knew I was doing badly here and he could tell.

“You’re kind of with someone? As in, you’re not really with someone? You can still go out and see other guys, right? I’d love to take you out.” Tim stroked my arm, but it made me a little uncomfortable. “How about now?” he asked, trying to grab my arm.

“I can’t now. I’m sorry,” I said, trying to pull away from him, but things turned ugly pretty quickly.

Before I knew it, Tim grabbed me and tried to kiss me. I pushed at him, but he was strong. “I’ve always dreamed about this moment, Tyler,” he said before pressing his lips to mine. His lips were everywhere. As his arousal grew stronger, he tried to suck on my neck before meeting my lips again.

I struggled and I fought, but it was no use. He was strong and I was quickly running out of air.

From out of nowhere, Tim was suddenly yanked from me and flying through the air. When I saw it was Dean, my lungs finally filled with air.

“That’s twice now I’ve had to teach you a lesson, you stupid fuck.” Dean marched over to where he lay, but Tim was trying hard to hold out his hands in surrender.

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I didn’t realise you two were together.”

It was too late though because Dean was on fire. Grabbing Tim’s shirt collar, Dean punched in hard in the face. I heard a crack and it made the nausea surface and my head feel suddenly woozy.

“Are you okay, Tyler?” Dean asked, his fury now replaced with concern.

I nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. Really, I am.”

When he was satisfied I wasn’t going to faint, Dean turned his attention back to Tim. “Now, if I ever see you around here again, I won’t be so lenient. You got that? Tyler is my girl and nobody fucking touches her.”

Holding his bloody nose, Tim nodded furiously.

“Now, get the fuck out of here before I change my mind.”

Tim didn’t waste any time. He was off, and as soon as he was out of sight, Dean turned to me and placed an arm around my shoulder. “That fucker didn’t hurt you, did he? I don’t mind going after him again if you want me to.” He smiled cheekily and I nudged him.

“Dean, I think you’ve done enough, but thank you for coming to rescue me.”

Turning, he grabbed hold of my chin and gently rubbed his thumb under my bottom lip. “I would go to the ends of the earth to protect you, Tyler. No one gets to hurt my girl. No one.”



*****



Four weeks came and went quicker than ever. Things were going well with my column, Jeremy was getting a little bit better with each treatment of chemo, and my stranger still visited me occasionally. I still asked him to kiss me, asked him for more, but he never would give me anything. I wanted more and I craved after him so much, it was simply quite frightening. How could I fall in love with a man I didn’t know? It just seemed impossible. It was just that he had everything I called out for. He felt familiar and right. He felt dangerous, but fucking tantalising. He was dangerously tantalising, in fact.

In the four weeks, I prepared Jeremy’s room by ordering another bed and moving my desk into my room. I set up everything he would need, including a little stand filled with books for him to read. He was intelligent and the more I could try and stretch the intelligence, the better. I knew he could be great at something once he settled into school and set his mind on whatever it was he wanted to be. He actually hinted one day that he wanted to be a doctor because doctors have been helping him his whole life. He felt he needed to give something back.

The other thing I’d been secretly doing was looking for Jeremy’s Julie. As often as I could, I visited that same spot outside McDonalds, looking and hoping to find a girl with the same description. I really wanted to be the one who helped him tick off all the items on his list. Not because it would mean he had fulfilled everything before dying, but simply because it could give him momentum for life. To give him that boost he so sorely needed to get better and get himself out of that hospital. I knew it was driving him crazy and, quite frankly, it was driving me crazy having him in there. I wanted him with me so he could start his new life. I wanted him to go back to school and start learning all about being a doctor, if that was what he truly wanted.

It was Friday evening and I was just getting ready to go out and celebrate. If all went well, Jeremy should be leaving the hospital in a few days. I had Ian and Louisa coming around for dinner, then we were going to hit a nightclub. It was Spaghetti Bolognaise night, after all, and Louisa had yet to try my culinary skills.

Deciding to keep it simple, I dressed in a fitted, knee-length white dress, my red high heels topping off the outfit nicely. I was ready to go out and I was sure ready to get laid tonight. He hadn’t visited me in a couple of days and I was feeling a little off. It seemed like once he visited and gave me a head-thrumming orgasm, I could think clearly. When he wasn’t with me, I constantly craved him.

Closing my eyes, I pictured my stranger holding me. He did it with enough tenderness to show me he somehow cared, but not enough for me to feel completely content. I let him mark me but, for some reason, I think I believed that if I let him, I was somehow close to him and he was somehow a part of me. The only connection I had when he was gone was the seed he left inside of me, and the marks I now bore on my neck. I even had marks around my wrists because he tied me up on his last visit. I wanted it. I asked for it. I even pulled and yanked on my restraints because it heightened my excitement. I craved his dominance and aggression. It was almost like a part of me screamed to be taken at all costs.

Shit, what was wrong with me? Was it bad that I got off on being tied up by some person I didn’t even know, then ravished within an inch of my life? Was I sick to even try and rationalise that this behaviour was perfectly normal? That letting a stranger come into my home and fuck me like I’d never been fucked in my life was definitely okay? Of course it wasn’t. But why did it all feel so right then? Why, when he came to me, did I feel so alive, more alive than I have ever felt in my life? I couldn’t justify it, I couldn’t comprehend it, but above all else, I couldn’t fucking deny it. I couldn’t deny him. He was everywhere. In my thoughts, in my dreams, in my fantasies.

In my heart.

I was lost to him. Completely and utterly drawn to his sexual magnetism. It was almost like it hummed whenever he entered the room. I had gotten so used to him that I would wake before he even entered the room. I was never scared, never frightened, never intimidated. Instead, I was alight with a thousand volts coursing through my veins. I felt on edge with desire, so full of thirst for a man whose real name I didn’t even know. For a faceless man, a tyrannical man…a deviant.

My deviant.

It never wavered, never tapered, never weakened. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Despite what he could give me, I wanted more. I wanted so much more. But I knew that could never be true. I knew what we had could never move on from this. How could it? How could a good, long-term relationship ever grow from our situation? He followed me for years, broke into my apartment, ate my cookies, and took from me. He’d taken everything from me and I willingly let him.

But now, with Jeremy coming to live with me I knew it would have to stop. There was no way we could carry on forever. There would come a time when it had to stop, and having Jeremy with me might just be the end of it. A part of me broke with the thought, but another part of me knew this was the best solution.

The problem was it may already be too late. My heart already ached at the thought of not seeing him again, of not feeling his touch, of not ever hearing his raspy voice again. I felt conflicted about that because the only boy I ever loved with all my heart was Dean. I still dreamt about him, too. I still called out to him in my sleep. I still wondered what he was doing, if he was married, had kids. It hurt to think about it all. In a sense, I would feel completely betrayed by that. He always promised he would come back for me. Not anyone else. Me. I still couldn’t understand it and it was probably that which made it hard to let go.

My doorbell ringing pulled me from my deep thoughts. It was funny how you could sometimes stand there in a daze and the minutes just pass you by without you thinking about it.

I walked out of my bedroom to open my front door. Ian was standing there with his normal bottles of red and white wine. He stood there, his hair cropped, his blue shirt buttoned up to his chest, sporting the cheekiest smile he could muster. He inhaled deeply, just like he always did, and gave me that satisfactory smile when he knew the Bolognaise was on.

“You look gorgeous, Tyler,” he purred, giving me the once over. “Practically perfect in every way.”

I laughed. “Hey, I’m no Mary Poppins, Ian.” I gestured for him to walk in and he followed me into the kitchen. I had to keep my eye on him just in case he stole some of my sauce when I wasn’t looking.

“Oh, I think you are. Still on for when we turn thirty? You could stay at home and make me Bolognaise every night.” He stood there for a moment, scrutinising me. “There’s something different about you. What is it?”

I shook my head, getting a little panicked that he could see right through me. As a nervous gesture, I tucked my hair behind my ear and fidgeted a little. He watched, then gasped a little when he saw my wrists and neck.

Rushing over, he grabbed my wrists to inspect them. “What the fuck is this, Tyler? Has someone hurt you?” I tried to let go of his grip, but he was pulling my hair out of the way so he could inspect my neck. “Shit. What the hell have you gotten yourself into, girl?”

Pulling away, I smiled nervously and started stirring the sauce. “It’s nothing, Ian. Just a little bit of playing, that’s all.” I couldn’t meet his eyes because I felt somehow ashamed to admit I was like this. Ian didn’t know I was sleeping with anyone, let alone playing these types of games with him.

Suddenly, Ian was intimately right beside me and I had no choice but to look up. His smile was wide as he suddenly pushed himself into me. “You kinky fucking bitch, Tyler. I never knew.”

“Oh, fuck off,” I said, throwing a small piece of spaghetti at him.

“I never knew you were like this, Tyler. I don’t quite know how to feel about it all.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, judging by your sudden third leg, I would suggest maybe the thought turned you on.”

Ian growled a little in my ear, then moved away with a smile. “If you ever want to play games with me, you know where I am.”

Turning my head to him, I scowled. “Of course, Ian. You’re always so ready for action. Speaking of which, have you gotten any lately?”

Ian sat down and huffed. “Not as much as you, it would seem. Why are you changing the subject anyway? I never knew you were seeing anyone. You never said anything.”

I looked down at the sauce. “That’s because there’s been nothing to tell, really. I’ve met someone. I don’t know his name, but we have an arrangement.”

Getting up from his seat, Ian grabbed two glasses and poured us each a glass of wine. “Fucking hell, that’s hot. I never knew you were like that, babes.” Ian cocked his eyebrow and was about to say something else when the doorbell rang again. “I’ll get it!” he shouted as he ran for the door. I heard him greeting Louisa as her chirpy voice radiated into the kitchen.

“Something smells absolutely fucking divine in here!” Louisa shouted.

“I told you she did a mean Spaghetti Bolognaise. The best in London.”

Shaking my head, I grabbed another glass for Louisa and poured her some wine. “I wouldn’t go that far, Ian.”

They sat down and it was then I noticed what she was wearing. “Fuck, Louisa. What have you got on? It’s hot!”

Louisa got up, twirled around to show me her little black number, and sat back down again. “Do you like it? It’s Donna Karan. I saved for ages to buy this.”

“It looks stunning.” I smiled.

Looking me over, Louisa said, “And so do you. I love those shoes. Very sexy.”

Ian rolled his eyes. “Too much fucking estrogen in here. What is it about women that the moment they see each other, they have to compliment what each other is wearing, then talk about it for the next half-hour? When blokes get together, all they’re worried about is where their first beer is coming from.”

Louisa sipped her wine and smiled at him. “See, that’s where men are lacking. They can’t see past their own noses.”

Stirring my spaghetti, I watched in awe as the two started their war of the sexes with one another. It made me think a little about my ongoing battles with my stranger. No matter how many times he wanted me to call him Lotus, I still always reverted back to calling him “my stranger”. It somehow felt more real and darker in a sense. Even a bit sexy, if I were being honest.

“Tyler,” Ian’s voiced called out.

Jumping, I snapped my head to them. I didn’t even realise I was daydreaming.

“She’s off in tie me up world,” he said to Louisa.

She looked at me knowingly and smiled. “Has Brad been back over then?”

I had completely forgotten about Brad. Within an instant, Louisa got up and started inspecting my neck.

“Who’s Brad?” Ian asked as Louisa kept on looking.

“Oh, honey, what are you letting him do to you?” Louisa winked, but I saw a level of concern on her face. She didn’t need to be. Lotus never hurt me. Not yet, anyway. And I didn’t mean in a physical sense. I knew he would hurt me, but it would never be my body. It would end up being my heart.

“He never does anything I don’t want him to do.”

Ian gestured towards Louisa. “See, I told you she was a kinky bitch.”

I frowned, knowing I had completely missed something. “When did you tell her that?”

Louisa laughed and Ian shook his head. “Shit, you were just off in the land of tying up, weren’t you?”

I sighed and Louisa got up to rub my shoulder. “Oh, leave her alone, Ian. Tyler can’t help it if she craves a bit of a rough and tumble.” She winked towards Ian and he bellowed out his laughter.

“Oh, yes, very funny. Let’s all laugh at Tyler’s expense, shall we?” This was one of the reasons I didn’t want to tell anyone about it.

“I’m sorry, babes,” Ian pouted. “We’ll promise to behave. Who’s Brad, anyway?”

“He’s a hot police officer she met at a bar a few weeks back.”

I thought Ian would make another joke, but he surprised me when he raised his wine glass. “Well, as long as he treats you right, I have no complaints.” He frowned a little, then looked at me. “Hold up a sec. I thought you said you didn’t know his name?”

Louisa looked up, frowning. Oh shit. I should have realised Louisa would somehow get involved in the conversation, and I should have realised she would immediately think of Brad. I had been so caught up in the world of my stranger, and now Jeremy, that Brad was the furthest person from my mind.

“Is it Brad you’re seeing, or someone else? I didn’t believe Brad could do something like that.”

“Like what?” Ian asked, confused.

“When we stayed at the mansion, somebody who we thought was Brad snuck into her room, gave her the best two orgasms of her life, then bit her neck.”

“Louisa!” I shouted, unable to believe she was telling Ian this.

Louisa shrugged. “Just telling it like it is, Tyler. You two have known each other longer than I have.”

I felt a pang of regret. Did Ian hate that Louisa knew more than he did? I secretly hoped not. By the look on his face, he seemed rather calm and collected. I think I was the paranoid one.

“So if it isn’t Brad, who is it?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know his name.”

“What does he look like?” Ian asked.

What does he look like? I had no idea. The thought made me chuckle a little. “He has a body to die for, he works out a lot, he is a black belt in Tai Kwon Do, and he has the most interesting tattoos on his back I have ever seen.”

That was true enough. I did know that much about him. I knew he was strong, I knew he was powerful and, judging by what I saw at the club—and by what the bouncer had said—I knew he was dangerous.

“He sounds delish,” Louisa said, wriggling in her seat.

Ian snorted. “And I thought it was only men who thought with a certain part of their anatomy. You haven’t once mentioned what he looks like, though. You just went straight in for the kill and told us about his rocking body.”

Louisa perked up in her chair. “And what’s wrong with that? Women do crave sex, you know.”

Ian laughed. “I know that. I just thought women always went deeper than men. That they always thought deeper than us. I’m not saying that in a bad way. In a sense, I’m actually complimenting your gender.”

Getting the plates out from the cupboard, I placed them down on the table, together with the cutlery. “Yes. Without us, where would you men be?” I teased.

“Probably on their way to extinction by now, if they’re not already. The thing about men is they always shoot first and ask questions later. You need us women,” Louisa smiled in Ian’s direction. “We can keep you hot-headed guys a little more level-headed.”

Ian actually nodded. “I wouldn’t disagree with you there. Plus, the fact that your pussies are amazing helps. They always calm us men down.”

I shook my head and tut-tutted at him. “Trust you to lower the tone.”

“What?” he asked, looking completely taken aback. “I’m just telling it how it is. Tits… Those are another thing you women have going for you. If we ever get into a fight, just flash us your tits. I can tell you that we’d soon stop throwing punches.”

Louisa and I both laughed. “See, that just goes to show how narrow-minded you are.”

Ian sipped his wine and placed it back on the table. “I’m not saying that as a compliment to me. I’m saying it as a compliment to you.” Louisa and I looked at each other and Ian just stared. “Oh, come on, ladies. You’re not that naïve. You’re telling me you have never in your life used your sexuality to get what you want from a man? You all possess this power every man wishes they had.”

“What? Tits and a pussy?” Louisa asked, laughing.

“You fucking got that right!” Ian shouted, laughing along with her. “I don’t know how you women manage to get up and go to work every day. If I were you, I’d stay home and play with myself all day long. How do you ladies ever get anything done?”

Louisa and I laughed. “Oh, yes, because I just can’t get enough of myself.” I rolled my eyes at him and placed some spaghetti and sauce on each plate. “Every time I go to bed naked, I can’t help but have a fondle.” I was teasing, but Ian’s eyes were open wide.

Louisa laughed, smacking the table a little. “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen Ian speechless.”

He shook his head a little, like he was trying to shake himself out of that image. “Fuck. I think I need to use your toilet. Be back in a bit.” Ian rose out of his chair and adjusted himself. That just caused more laughter from Louisa and me.

Placing the plates on the table, I sat down with Louisa and poured more wine. “You know, in a sense, I think he’s right,” Louisa smiled, taking a sip. “Look at how flustered Ian is. I bet he would be putty in our hands if we ever asked him to do anything for us.”

Sipping my wine, I shook my head. “Don’t encourage him, Louisa.”

Louisa chuckled and took a bite of her Bolognaise. Moaning, she closed her eyes. “Oh, wow,” she murmured. “This is the best Bolognaise I’ve ever tasted.”

“I told you,” Ian replied, sitting himself down opposite her. “I can’t believe I wasn’t here for the placing of the plate on the table ceremony.”

“Oh, there’s a ceremony?” Louisa asked.

Ian’s posture straightened. “I’ll have you know that I take my Spaghetti Bolognaise very seriously.”

“Hmm,” Louisa mused. “Indeed you do.” She winked at him, but he was too engrossed in the plate before him. He devoured it like it was his last meal. But, then again, he always did.

“So where are we going tonight?” I asked, changing the subject.

“I thought we’d go to that club on Baker Street. You know. Buddies.”

I shivered a little, remembering my last encounter at that club. The thought of going there again filled me with longing and apprehension. Will he follow me again tonight? Will he claim me like the last time? Without thinking logically, I suddenly felt myself looking forward to our night out.

Shit, I really did have it bad.





Chapter 32



Dean



Revenge is like biting a dog

Because the dog bit you.

Austin O’Malley





Despite my best efforts, I ended up at the mansion tonight. I still had a business to run and, most of the time, I ran it from there. My penthouse was my sanctuary. Somewhere to go and relax and not worry about the fucking shit I had to put up with during the day. It seemed the only time I felt relaxed lately was when I was with Tyler, and I didn’t like that feeling. I was becoming comfortable around her. I was getting used to her ways and her wants. I was getting used to being around her, then found I thought about her when I wasn’t with her. It was now starting to cloud my judgement. Could I possibly give all this up? Could I possibly leave the past behind and just let it go? A part of me recoiled from the idea, but another part of me rejoiced in it, too. I could finally reveal my face, hang up my hoodie, and be done with all of this. But what would happen with Tyler and me? Would she still want me if she knew who I was, or was part of her excitement the not knowing? She would probably get bored after a while and crave her stranger back, her Lotus.

I couldn’t possibly think like that anymore. I started this game, so I had to finish it. It was just Tyler’s magical voodoo powers dragging me under again. She always did have a way of casting me under her spell. And what a fucking spell it was.

In the last few weeks, Jimmy had been watching Tyler as she went about her day. He was watching her now because I couldn’t. I was stuck here, waiting for a phone call from one of my business associates in the U.S. I was merging and taking full advantage of the overseas economic downturn. Properties were being repossessed, and people were picking them up for next to nothing. Scott Cooper was someone I came into contact with a few months ago while on vacation in Miami. I must admit, it was more of a scouting operation than a holiday. He was someone with whom Humphrey had put me into contact. Scott was in real estate working for this well-known agency. He had saved a little and wanted to go alone, but he didn’t have enough. Humphrey told him I was looking to expand in the U.S. and, of course, Scott was very keen to meet up with me. I met him, he talked, I like his ideas, and gave him half the money. I think he knew he was signing with the devil, but never made any hints I was anything more than a businessman. The fact that I told him if he ever fucked this up, I would cut his balls off and ram them down his throat had nothing to do with it.

So, I sat and waited for Scott’s call, and my lawyer in Miami was probably waiting for his instructions, too. Signing over power of attorney made things a lot easier.

The only other thing that emerged in the last few weeks was what Tyler was doing at that hospital. I bought Jimmy a mask, telling him to suck it up and just get in there. Money was riding on it and he knew I would be all over his ass if he fucked up again. I found out Tyler had been visiting this kid named Jeremy. I looked into him and found out the poor kid, who had been in and out of hospitals and foster homes all his life, was a leukaemia patient there. It saddened me that he had been dealt a rough hand through his short life. But what I didn’t get was what this had to do with Tyler. Suffice it to say, I dug some more and came up with something rather interesting about how Tyler and Jeremy met. Something very interesting.

I was so carried away with my thoughts, I didn’t even notice that Humphrey was in the room. “Dean, umm… How should I say this? Mrs. Carmichael is at the door and she wants to speak with you.” Looking up from my desk, I saw Humphrey staring at me, a perplexed look on his face.

“Show her into the lounge, offer her a drink, and I will be there in a minute. Could you monitor my calls and let me know if Scott rings? I’ll speak with him after Mrs. Carmichael has left. I’m assuming this is just a passing visit?”

Humphrey shrugged, but nodded and left. I didn’t need this right now. I had too many other things with which to deal. I had to admit, I was intrigued to know what on earth she was visiting me for. I had only ever seen her with Aidan and their kids, so this was completely out of the ordinary. Closing my laptop, I rose from my seat and walked towards the lounge. As I opened the door, Mrs. Carmichael was sitting down on the sofa, the same one her husband fondled a prostitute on, nursing a glass of bourdon.

Looking up, she politely smiled and I took a seat opposite her. “Dean, thank you for seeing me.”

I nodded gracefully. “No problem at all, Mrs. Carmichael. What seems to be the problem? I’m guessing there must be a reason for this visit.”

Mrs. Carmichael timidly looked towards the ground and shifted in her seat a little. “To tell you the truth, I feel a little uncomfortable about coming to you with this.”

I shook my head. “There’s no need to be. I’m just as much as friend to you as I am to your husband.”

Cynthia smiled, showing me her perfect white teeth. She was in her forties and was quite attractive for someone married to a man like Aidan. After getting married, it would seem he became complacent and let himself go. Cynthia had always maintained her figure and always made sure she wore the finest clothes. Her blonde hair was always perfectly shaped, and her make-up never blemished. To top that all off, she loved her husband and doted on their children.

Aidan, you silly fucking twat!

“It’s silly, really, but I just needed to ask something. Aidan’s been a little more distant than usual and I keep trying to figure out why. I know it’s stupid of me to come here, but I’m just so lost. I thought, because you see each other on occasion, maybe you might know what’s wrong.”

Then it hit me. Aidan wasn’t the only one who was a stupid fucking twat. I was. For my own selfish reasons, I encouraged him to sleep with my two girls that night. It didn’t matter he didn’t need much encouragement. I still played a part in hurting this poor woman.

“I’m sure whatever it is, he will snap out of it soon. He’s probably got a lot going on at work or something. Maybe just give it a little time.” I felt like a shit talking to her as though she was a five-year-old. Cynthia obviously wasn’t born yesterday.

“I know. You’re right.” She smiled. “Maybe it’s just a phase and he’ll be over it soon. I don’t know.” She sighed a little and looked out the window for a moment. “Deep down, I know he has cheated on me.”

She looked away, giving me the impression she felt guilty for accusing him of this. Either that or she felt ashamed. He’s the one who should feel ashamed, the stupid prick. And I, for one, am going to tell him that shortly. I was getting fed up with his stupid bravado anyway. He needed to be taken down a peg or two.

“Listen, I’ll have a word with him, shall I? He knows he can speak with me about anything. I’m sure whatever it is, I can iron it out with him and he’ll feel much better for it. I’ll remind him of just how much he’s missing at home.” I gave her a cheeky smile and she blushed a little.

“You’re so kind, Dean. I knew I could come to you. You’ve always been there for every one of us. Even our girls. I see the way you look at them and I know that you’ll make a great father one day. They even call you Uncle Dean.”

I smiled at that. It was probably because I bought them expensive presents every birthday and Christmas, but they were always great to be around. They were a rich family, but the girls had never been snotty about it. They were always down-to-earth and ready for anything. They were smart and outwitted their father on a few occasions. I certainly had to give them their due on that score.

“You have two of the most amazing girls there, Cynthia. You should be proud of them.”

Getting out of her seat, she came and sat down next to me. She crossed her legs and fluttered her eyelashes at me. “Do you really think that way about me?” she whispered.

“What way?” I kind of knew where this was heading, but had to make sure.

“You know,” she said, diverting her eyes. “That comment about making him realise what he’s missing at home.”

“Of course,” I smiled. “You’re a very attractive lady, Mrs. Carmichael. Anyone would be lucky to have someone like you as a wife.”

Cynthia fluttered her eyelashes at me again. “Really? You think so?” She came in a little closer and the suffocation soon set in.

Oh shit. “Um, yes. Of course.”

“It’s been so long since someone has complimented me like that, so it’s nice to hear. It makes me feel like a woman again.”

I couldn’t believe that. It was hard to comprehend how blind her husband was. “Maybe Aidan just needs a little reminding,” I suggested.

Suddenly clasping my knee, she squeezed it suggestively. “Or, maybe, I could have someone else remind me.”

Shooting up out of my seat, I paced the floor. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Carmichael. I know you and your husband are having some issues, but I don’t want to be the cause of them.”

“Don’t you want me?” she asked with a pout.

Looking over at her, I knew that I would take her in any other circumstance, but she was a married woman. I just don’t touch married women.

Or, you just can’t deal with the fact she’s not Tyler.

“Of course I want you, Mrs. Carmichael. Who wouldn’t? I just can’t do that to both of you. You’re my friends and I’m there for you in any way I can be, but please. You can’t ask this of me. If it wasn’t for Aidan, I would happily oblige, but you have to understand that I can’t do that to you as a family.”

Seeing the tears in her eyes made me feel like an even bigger dick.

She covered her mouth and turned her head. “I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never cheated on Aidan before. It’s pathetic, really. The minute you pay me a compliment, I’m all over you like a hussy.”

I had to chuckle a little at that, even though this situation was far from funny. “Cynthia,” I said, sitting back down next to her and grabbing her hand. “There is no way in hell’s chance that you should feel ashamed about what happened. It’s not your fault your husband has forgotten what a wonderful woman he has. Why don’t you surprise him one night? Suggest a night away and go buy some lingerie. I can guarantee that usually always works.” I gave her a suggestive wink and she smiled. “In the meantime, I will talk to Aidan. I’ll remind him of how much family should mean to him. Don’t worry. I won’t mention our conversation, but I certainly can’t leave this knowing how upset you are.”

The tears rolled down her face as she smiled tenderly towards me. Getting up, I grabbed a tissue for her and placed it in her hand.

“As you know, I have never been married myself, but I guess it’s hard work. Sometimes you go through the rough times in order to test out your relationship. You two have been married for so long, there’s bound to be ups and downs.”

Wiping her tears away, she sniffled and nodded. “Yes, you’re right, of course. Thank you.”

Patting her shoulder, I shook my head. “No problem at all. Now, do you want to stay for a bit, have another drink until you feel a little better? I don’t mind.”

Cynthia shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I’ve kept you long enough as it is. I feel a lot better now anyway.”

“Are you sure?” I know I’m a lot of things, but a heartless bastard isn’t one of them. Cynthia was one of those ladies my father used to always tell me about. She deserved my respect, and she deserved special care and attention from that stupid fuck of a husband of hers.

“I’m sure,” she said, getting up. “I need to go and meet the girls anyway. They’re at a birthday party and should be expecting me in a half-hour.”

Getting up, I placed my hand in the curve of her back and walked out of the door with her. “Thank you,” she said again, turning before she left.

“Anytime, Mrs. Carmichael, and say hello to the girls for me.” She smiled, got back in her car, and drove off.

As I watched her drive away, Humphrey suddenly appeared beside me. “Dean, Scott rang about ten minutes ago. He told me to tell you the papers were all ready to be signed and that they are with your lawyer.”

I nodded. “Thanks, Humphrey. I’ll go call them both now.”

I walked back into my office and shut the door. I made the phone calls to Scott and my lawyer, Louis, and everything seemed to be going as scheduled. I was pleased about that. I was pleased about a lot of things right now.

The next phone call I received, I answered with relish. I knew it was Jimmy and I knew it was about Tyler.

“Jimmy, what you got?” I asked eagerly. I heard him hesitate and I knew there was something wrong. “Don’t fucking tell me she’s gone somewhere else that freaks you out? What is it this time? The fucking puppet show?” I knew I was being sarcastic, but fuck that shit.

“Um, what exactly does this girl mean to you, Dean?”

My posture straightened, ready to fucking strike. “What the fuck does that mean, Jimmy? Spit it out.”

He sighed and I knew it wasn’t a good sigh. “I followed her, her hot mate from work, and that other guy she works with to Buddies. They’ve been dancing there for a couple of hours and getting more and more drunk.”

The more he talked, the more I could feel the anger rising. If some fucker had dared to lay a hand on her, I’d kill him with my bare hands and think nothing of it.

He sighed again and I knew this was where I would receive the killer punch, whatever it was. “Tyler was dancing with that guy from work…Ian, his name is.” I knew all too well what his fucking name was. “Well, he’s been feeling her up all night, but that isn’t it, Dean. He kissed her.”





Chapter 33



Tyler





Shit, I was fucking wasted. Fuck knows what the hell I was doing. I’d been at the club for about three hours, and all we’d done was drink and dance our asses off. Ian was doing his usual feeling me up thing he did on a regular basis. It bothered me, but it also bothered me that my stranger wasn’t here tonight. It was probably because he couldn’t hide himself so well here now, but it still pissed me off. Ian would only get suspicious if it didn’t let him do what he usually did. It was only when he rammed his tongue down my throat that I finally had the momentum to push him away with a playful swat. Ian just laughed, and I carried on dancing with Louisa. She was just as drunk as me and looking forward to going home to Peter tonight. Poor Peter!

Time flew by and it wasn’t long before I was on my way home, slurring the words of my address to the taxi driver. The driver looked a little apprehensive, but took me home anyway. His taxi was safe. It wasn’t until I got home and lay on my bed that the room suddenly started spinning.

That was enough to have me running. I was really going to regret this in the morning. I threw up all the contents from my stomach and then some. I couldn’t remember the last time I had gotten myself into this state.

Never again.

Pulling at the toilet paper, I suddenly realised that my stranger wasn’t around at all today. My toilet roll was in the same position I left it in. Strange how that really pissed me off. In my drunken haze, I felt a little uneasy about that prospect.

Where was he?





Chapter 34



Dean



A man who contemplates revenge keeps his wounds green.

Francis Brown





It was the following morning after hearing the news about Tyler and Ian. In a fit of rage, I had been up the whole night. I was starting to let her in, then she fucking did that to me. Again.

Not anymore. Operation Lotus was back on track. I wasn’t letting her get to me again, and I wasn’t going to take any prisoners. I knew the time was coming to a close soon, but I was too wrapped up in getting pussy-whipped by the one fucking person I set out to hurt in the first place.

No more.

Last night, I was so angry, I wasn’t thinking straight. When I found out she went home alone, I went in search of her. Lord knows what I would have said or done, but I was filled with so much anger that I didn’t care. It was only when I got to her apartment and saw her passed out on the bed that I started thinking more clearly. I never touched her. In fact, I pulled the cover over her so she didn’t get cold. How sick was that?

I couldn’t help it, though. Before I left, I just had to turn the toilet paper around the other way. Call it childish, call it having a temper tantrum. I don’t care. It was the one thing I could do to tell her I was still here, still watching her, and still very much in her life. There was no escaping my wrath now. I had become compliant towards Tyler. I had opened up a little and let her in. I had let her see a part of who I was now. She was never meant to see any of me. Not before it was too late. Not before she had fallen after I dragged her down with me. I warned her I was a demon. I warned her demons could never love. She, like every other woman, had tried to change me. Why does every woman want to change the way a man was? Why was it they found it so challenging to reel them in, only to rip their fucking hearts out?

No more.

It was only when I began to leave that I heard her in her sleep. “Dean…,” she called out. I froze, letting the rage come again. She had no right to dream about me when she was out sticking her tongue down another man’s throat and letting him touch her in places I’m only allowed to.

Only me!

When I got home, I tried to sleep, but it was no use. I ended up using my punching bag to let off steam. Exercise away the throbbing in my head, punch away every fucking thought I ever had about Tyler. It was in my rage that I began to form a plan. A plan I was to execute soon enough. But, first, I had to take her one last time. I had to make her realise she was mine and would never belong to anyone else. If she wanted her demon to act like one, that’s what I’d fucking do.

So I waited until nightfall and got ready. I took the Jag this time because I had been using the other two cars too often. It was time for a change…in more ways than one.

I parked the car and took the stairs up to her apartment. It was a cold, crisp night tonight. The kind of night you could see the steam coming from your mouth. It was just like me and just how I liked it: cold and unforgiving.

I walked through her door and noticed she was sleeping. She moaned and turned to me. It was almost as if she knew I was there before I even made a sound. Was she that aware of me?

I smiled despite myself. No matter who she let touch her, she would never escape the one person who could give her everything.

Me.

“Lotus,” she whispered, rubbing her sleepy eyes. She was naked, of course, which brought another smile to my face. She was learning fast.

“Get on all fours. Now!” I roared.

Tyler instantly froze, a hint of fear and what looked like lust in her eyes. I thought she would disobey me, demand to know what had gotten into me, but she complied. I walked towards her and noticed her breathing was hitched. She was looking towards me now, but I wasn’t going to let her see.

“Face forward,” I commanded and she did without a second glance. I gazed upon her naked form, admiring the way the curve of her back dipped slightly. Her hair was resting on her back and her ass was presented so beautifully, my dick strained with agony to get at it.

I couldn’t deny it. Tyler was exceptionally beautiful. Possibly the most beautiful woman I would ever meet, but it still didn’t take away the fact she was a witch. A woman born to use her beauty for all it was worth. She was a woman who deserved wealth, deserved the finer things in life that go along with that beauty of hers. And I hoped that when this was over, she would find someone who could give that to her. But she would never be completely free of me. She would never be able to love a man or have a man touch her the way I know I could I would always haunt her. Her Dean. Her Lotus.

As I circled her, I could feel the desire in Tyler. A desire for me to touch her. A desire for me to take her in any way possible. A desire to turn around and look at me, look at what I was doing.

“Face forward!” I grunted again and, immediately, she stiffened and stared straight ahead. It was then that I graced her with my touch. It was then, when I was caressing her ass, that she closed her eyes, giving into the feeling of my hand on her. She had been waiting for this moment for a long time now. I could tell.

“You’ve been very naughty, Tyler. Do you know what happens to naughty girls like you?”

Tyler frowned and tried turning her head. “I don’t know what you—”

“Face forward, Tyler. I won’t ask you again. Do you want me to punish you?” Shit, that was probably the wrong question. She probably did want to be punished, but not if it meant she didn’t get the release she was always so desperate for.

“Are you not going to make me come?” she asked, as if almost reading my mind.

I chuckled a little. “Only good girls get to come, Tyler. You’ve not been a good girl at all, have you? Maybe if you do as you’re told tonight, I may grant you your orgasm, but only if you do as you’re told. Do you understand?”

“Yes, but I don’t understand what you—”

I smacked her hard across the ass, making her yelp. “Is this how a naughty girl should be treated, Tyler? Is it?”

“What have I—?”

I smacked her hard again and she screamed out, panting and moaning. I bet if I were to touch her now, she would be dripping wet. “Where were you last night, Tyler?” I shouldn’t get into this with her. I probably should keep my anger a mystery, but now I could tell her just how fucking pissed off I was about her and Ian. Now she would know without knowing who I truly am. That would come later. That would come sooner than she could imagine.

I saw Tyler’s eyes darting like she was searching for the reason I was angry at her. Then, as if she suddenly remembered, she closed her eyes.

“That’s right, Tyler. Don’t ever think you’re never being watched.” I circled her ass again, causing her to shudder.

“It was not what you—”

I smacked her hard again and she yelped. “I wasn’t born yesterday, Tyler,” I growled. “Now, where were we? Oh yes, suitable punishment. How do you think you should be punished for your actions last night, Tyler?”

Her eyes widened. “You’re asking me?”

Reaching underneath her, I squeezed her nipple, causing her to moan. “Yes, I’m asking you. You’ve been naughty and need punishment. What do you think is suitable?”

I could see her hesitating, but I could also see her panting. I could tell her dark fantasies were very much at the forefront and it was causing no end of torture in her mind. Sweet, fucking, electric torture.

As she was pondering her punishment, I gazed at her presented pussy. I could see a hint of wetness form at the end and wanted to desperately taste it. Maybe if I did, it might help her along a little.

I wasted no time. Going behind her, I bent down and licked her slit up towards her clit, tasting her sweet wetness. Tyler shuddered and her knees almost gave way. “You’re not answering me, Tyler,” I purred, getting back to my torture. I darted my tongue inside her and hummed my approval. “You taste so fucking good, Tyler. Do you want to taste yourself?”

Tyler moaned and pushed back towards me, desperate for me to touch her again. Every bone in her body ached for me.

Placing my finger inside her, I flicked my tongue on her clit. “Please,” she begged, withering under my touch. She was already there, wanting so much for me to give her that release only she knows I could.

Pulling my finger out, I got off the bed and walked around to face her. Without another word, I placed my finger at her mouth. “Taste yourself. Taste just how goddamned fucking sexy you are,” I growled.

She did as instructed and closed her eyes. She licked and sucked on my finger before finally brushing her teeth against the edges. I almost lost control and just fucked her then and there, but I had to find out what her punishment would be first.

With my finger still wet, I traced a line from her shoulders, underneath towards her breast, before finally landing on her nipple again. They were both so erect, it was hard to keep focus.

With her breathing harsh, I followed my fingers towards her wet slit again and plunged my finger deep inside. She moaned and wriggled again, making it all the more harder for me to keep my head on straight. Everything about Tyler made me lose my mind.

Taking my fingers back out, I circled her ass again. Tyler moaned and pushed back. “You can take me there,” she whispered. “I want you to grab my hair and fuck me there.”

Shit, what was she trying to do to me? She was giving me permission to take her where she’d never been taken? Fuck, if that didn’t turn me on. How poetic that on one of the last nights, maybe even the last night, I would fuck her where she’d never been fucked.

“Are you sure?” I asked, my breathing getting heavy.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Please.”

“I need to make you wet, Tyler.”

“Spank me,” she said, her breathing even harsher now.

I wasted no time. I gave her the spanking she desired.

“I have been a naughty girl, Lotus. You need to punish me. Fuck me and spank me.”

Whoa, I think I see fucking stars. Does this woman have any idea what she’s doing to me? Completely gone was the only reason I was here in the first place.

Positioning myself behind her, I unzipped my trousers and let my stiff cock free. It bounced and aimed itself straight for Tyler, as if seeking her fucking heat out. It was almost as if my dick had a mind of its own. It wanted Tyler, and knew exactly where she was and how to please her.

With a dip of my hand, I placed a couple of fingers inside her and played with her clit. Tyler raised her lips with each thrust, moaning my name. Gathering her wetness, I placed my fingers towards her ass and lubricated her. With one quick thrust, I was inside her pussy and I felt her clench around me. “Lotus,” she breathed, throwing her head back. I pulled myself out and rubbed the tip of my cock on her ass before plunging back inside her tight pussy.

“Oh god!” she cried and I knew she wouldn’t be able to last much longer.

I pulled out and rubbed my cock around her ass again, getting her truly wet there. Tyler pushed against me as if giving me permission now. Satisfied that she was wet enough, I edged in bit by bit. Tyler winced a little, causing me to stop, but she turned her head to me. “Keep going,” she breathed, her voice strained.

I smacked her ass and she yelped. “I told you to face the fucking front!” I shouted. It was hard to keep equilibrium. Tyler felt so fucking good and so fucking tight, I was finding it hard to keep control. I edged in again and again. She winced, but didn’t tell me to stop. I edged in again, and I was almost fully inside her. I wanted to move so much, it was fucking killing me. But I had to be gentle. I wasn’t a complete monster. I had to know that Tyler got her pleasure out of this. That was what this was all about, after all.

Placing my hand on her pussy, I found her little nub and started rubbing it. I had to try and get her to relax a little so she would enjoy this as much as I knew I would.

When she moaned, I knew I could fill her completely. With one more push, I filled her and the relief was immense. I could move now. I could start a rhythm, set my own pace, and watch Tyler fall apart underneath me.

So that’s what I did and, by fuck, she felt so good. “You’re so fucking tight,” I hissed, grabbing a fistful of her hair. “Am I hurting you?”

Tyler shook her head. “No. Keep going.”

I did as I was told and kept my pace up. Not as fast as I would have liked, but fast enough. With my other hand free now, I smacked her hard again and she moaned at my touch. Pushing my hand under her, I found her clit again and started rubbing. Tyler cried out and I knew that if I kept this up, she would come soon.

“You fucking like that, Tyler?” I asked, my breathing erratic. It was hard to keep focus when she felt so fucking brilliant.

“Yes!” she cried.

I kept rubbing her clit and pulling at her hair. “Do you want me to show you how naughty you’ve been?”

“Yes!” she cried again, giving me permission to smack her again. Tyler was on the edge now and I wasn’t too far behind. I couldn’t let myself come before she did. It wouldn’t be right. Gritting my teeth, I kept on. I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything instead of just how good she felt.

“Lotus, keep going!” she shouted. “Fuck me!”

Growling, I smacked her again and that was enough to send her spiralling. Tyler screamed my name, moaning and cursing like the beautiful witch she was.

With the immense relief of her coming around me, I let go. I quickened my pace and fisted my hand in her hair again. I let myself feel, and I welcomed the onset of my orgasm rising throughout me. I roared like a fucking lion and blew inside her. I had completely lost it to her. Completely fucking lost my mind with those few seconds of orgasm. I had never had one like it before in my life. It was intense beyond words.

“Fuck!” I hissed, finally pulling out of her. I couldn’t be doing this. I couldn’t let her destroy me as much as I am trying to destroy her. I just couldn’t let it happen. Not again.

Collapsing, Tyler let out a contented sound before turning to look at me. “I’ve never done that before.”

I shook my head. “No, you haven’t.”

“You came to me last night, didn’t you? Were you going to punish me then?”

Ignoring her, I zipped myself up and went into her bathroom. I looked through her shelves and found some moisturising cream. Turning towards the door with it, I noticed the toilet paper was the other way around this time, so I turned it back. With cream in hand, I came back out to see Tyler still sprawled across the bed, naked and bare.

“Turn on your front,” I commanded.

She did as she was told and, in the faint light, I noticed there were marks on her ass. Kinky little witch that she was.

Rubbing some cream on my hands, I went to work massaging her there. “Hmm, that feels good,” she hummed. “A demon would never care for me the way you are now.”

I instantly cringed. “Don’t mistake me rubbing cream on your ass as caring for you, Tyler. This is simply to make sure you’re prepared for next time.”

Tyler turned her head, trying to look at me. “There will still be a next time?”

The way she asked was almost as though she knew it would soon be coming to an end. How could she possibly know? I’d never given her any inclination things would come to an abrupt halt shortly. Could this witch read my mind now?

“What makes you think there won’t be?” I asked, rubbing the final bits of cream in.

Satisfied I had rubbed it all in, Tyler turned to me with a cheeky grin. “You can never have too much of a good thing, right?”

She was trying to be funny, repeating the same line I had said to her not so long ago. It didn’t work on me, though. Behind that smile, behind that cheeky façade, lay an element of pain I knew would never go away. I had her now. I had her right where I fucking wanted her. So why did it still feel so fucking wrong? Why, even after everything she’d done, did I still feel like gathering her in my arms and never letting her go?

Answering her with a coy “Yes,” I got up off the bed and went into the bathroom to wash my hands. Every time I seemed to come to this apartment, I knew what my plan was but, every time, the plan went to shit.

As I walked back out of the bathroom, I was just going to get the fuck out, but then Tyler spoke. “Kiss me,” she pleaded again.

I halted at the door and gripped my eyes shut. I couldn’t let her see how much her words affected me. I couldn’t let her see just how much she affected me. It was time to go and time to act. I couldn’t pussy-foot around this any longer. “No,” I stated as I walked out the door.

It was time for my act of vengeance.





Chapter 35



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 2001





I was in my room with a Walkman strapped to my ears as I listened to “My Way” by Usher. He was my favourite solo artist at the moment. I loved every song he released, and his dancing was the best I’d ever seen.

If it wasn’t for the fact that the song was ending, I would have missed the familiar faint tapping on my window.

Jumping, I looked and saw another stone bouncing off the glass. I immediately got up off my bed and scrambled to see who was throwing stones. As If I didn’t know.

When I looked down, my heart jumped. Dean was standing there in a suit, his hair was slicked back perfectly, and his eyes sparkled with an intense desire.

I opened my window. “What are you doing?” I asked, trying to be as quiet as possible. I didn’t want my mum and dad to hear. They would hit the roof if they found out Dean was outside, throwing stones at my window.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he whispered, waving a red rose in the air.

If I thought he couldn’t get any dreamier, I was wrong. Dean proved, time and time again, just how right he was for me. If only my mum and dad could see it.

“Dean, you’re impossible,” I said, giggling.

“Impossibly smitten by the girl with the bright hazel eyes,” he whispered back. “Hold on. I’m coming up.” Placing the rose in his mouth, Dean pulled himself up the trellis by my window.

Once at the top, he handed me the rose with a cheeky smile. “I told you that you were the girl who deserved flowers.”

My mouth dried and my heart fluttered at the possibility Dean may kiss me tonight. I had another five months until my sixteenth birthday, and I was counting down every second of every day of it. Dean would visit me by climbing my window from time to time, especially when I got grounded. Normally, I got grounded because I went to visit Dean when I shouldn’t have. Once, I even got grounded because Ian kept me out late when we got drunk together. That grounding lasted a full two weeks.

I wasn’t grounded tonight, though. No, tonight I had to go out for a meal because it was my mum and dad’s twentieth anniversary. Although my heart ached to be with Dean tonight, I knew this was also a special occasion for my parents. They insisted on celebrating it with my sister and me, so how could I have said no?

Taking the rose from Dean’s hand, I inhaled, taking in its beautiful scent. “Do you know how beautiful you look tonight? Almost good enough to eat.”

I burned with intense need for this boy. I needed him to have me. I wanted him to have me. I knew that the moment I turned sixteen, I would ask him to take my virginity. Losing it to anyone else just didn’t seem right. It was always Dean’s to take, and I simply couldn’t wait for that day.

“Well, aren’t you going to give me a kiss?” he asked, pointing to his cheek.

“Thank you,” I replied, too stunned to form any other words. Clutching the rose, I knelt out of the window to reach for Dean’s cheek. I was hoping, at the last minute, he would turn and kiss me on the lips. I edged closer and the closer I got, the more my heart pumped. I was inches away from him now, the smell of his cologne hitting my nostrils and making the burn that much stronger. I was almost there, about to land him that kiss when a knock at the door made me jump out of my skin.

“Tyler, we have to get going in ten minutes. Are you ready?” The door opened, and I swung the rose behind my back.

“What are you doing there?” my father asked as I stood rigid at the window. He looked behind me, frowning. My heart accelerated.

Turning my head, I gazed outside, but Dean was no longer there.

“Why are you standing there with the window open? You’ll catch your death.” My father marched over to the window, looked outside, and closed it.

“I thought I heard a noise, so I opened my window to take a look. It was just Mrs. Crowther’s cat knocking over a bin.” The lie coursed through my veins and I braced myself to get questioned further. He was a lawyer, after all. He could sniff out liars and cheaters from a mile away. Instead, he just smiled, showing me his perfect white teeth. My father had always been an attractive man, always perfectly dressed and manicured. Just like my mother.

“Well, don’t be long,” he finally answered. “We have the table booked for eight and it’s already ten till.”

I smiled brightly, thankful that he didn’t get suspicious of me or, worse still, ask what was behind my back. “I’ll be right out, Dad. I just need to freshen up.”

Walking closer to me, my father cupped my chin. “You never need to freshen up, pumpkin. You always look beautiful, no matter what.”

I smiled sweetly at my father and watched as he left my room. A deep breath left my lips as I closed my eyes. That was close.



*****



A couple days later, everything was going swimmingly. I had visited Jeremy every chance I got, and although he looked increasingly pale, he was determined to get out of there tomorrow. He was so happy and full of life that I prayed this would aid in his recovery. He had read all six books in the series I had bought him and was on to another one now. He had Twiglets coming out of his ears, with a load more waiting for him when he moved in with me. I had set him up to start school the following week, and had made sure I prepared everything to be as comfortable and as “bore-free” as possible while he was living with me.

I was at work and it was almost lunch. Andrew Walker had seemed a little preoccupied today, but I put that down to the fact that there was a big story going around the news again about a second judge and even a local MP involved with underage prostitution and drugs. The craziness of the world never seemed to end.

Gathering my bag, I made my way outside to meet my mother and father for lunch. I couldn’t believe I was actually managing to get to see them both today. I deliberately picked a restaurant opposite the McDonalds Jeremy told me he met Julie outside of. I had been coming here at different times of the day, hoping to find a girl that matched her description.

As I neared the restaurant, I noticed my mother and father were sitting and waiting patiently for me. They both saw me and got up. “Tyler, how’s my pumpkin?” my father asked, giving me a peck on the cheek.

“I’m good, thanks. What about you two?” I sat down opposite them and the waitress came by to take my order for a diet coke and a Caesar salad. My parents ordered the same.

“Can you believe your father wants to buy another boat?” My mother rolled her eyes, but smiled at him.

“What’s wrong with the one you have?” I frowned. My mother gestured with her hands as if to say, Exactly.

“I want something bigger,” he answered with a smile. My dad always had a nice smile. With his teeth as perfect as my mum’s, my dad always kept in just as good a shape. The only thing he didn’t do was dye his hair. His hair was greying at the sides, but he looked rather distinguished. It suited him.

“Dad, your yacht is fifty feet long. How could you possibly want something bigger? The one you have is perfectly adequate.”

My mother waved her hands in front of me. “There’s no use trying to tell him, Tyler. I’ve had exactly the same conversation with him and he won’t listen.”

“It won’t be long before your big birthday, Tyler,” my dad said, conveniently changing the subject.

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for reminding me, Dad.”

“Oh, honey,” my mum said, placing her hand on my knee. “That’s when all the fun begins. You’ll have boys in their teens just drooling over you. And you just wait until you hit your forties. It’s even worse,” she giggled.

I shook my head with a chuckle. “I have no intention of becoming a cougar, Mum, but thanks.”

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do with the money?” my father asked.

I sighed, noticing the waitress coming over with my drink. I stayed silent until she went away, but I wasn’t happy. I was to inherit a trust fund of God knows how much from my parents once I turned thirty. It was always in the cards. My sister got hers three years back when she got married. Now it was time for mine, and I wasn’t happy. I was independent and always had been. I didn’t want or need their money.

“No, Dad. I haven’t.”

My mother suddenly piped up, getting all excited. “Oh, you could buy one of those new apartments they’re building down on Markham Street. I’ve heard they’re going to be spectacular. Lotus Apartments, I think they’re called.”

Snapping my head up to meet her gaze, my mouth gaped open in shock. “What did you just call them?”

My mother stared at me blankly. “Lotus Apartments. They even have the flower as their logo. It’s run by some big hotshot developer who no one knows. It’s a pity as, apparently, he’s quite young and very hot. You two could have been introduced.”

My heart started thumping. It couldn’t possibly be true, could it? Was my stranger, my Lotus, this mystery man in charge of the development of these apartments? Surely it must be a coincidence.

“If nobody knows who he is, how can people know he’s young and very hot?”

My dad laughed. “I keep telling your mother to stop listening to idle chitchat. The man’s probably in his sixties with a beer belly and lots of facial hair. I really don’t know where she gets it from.”

My mother tut-tutted in my dad’s direction and waved her hand in a slapping gesture. “Derren, come on. You really don’t think a man of his stature could stay hidden for very long, do you? Pretty soon, someone will reveal him, unless he reveals himself.”

The prospect of this had my head swimming. It wasn’t possible that my mum knew what was going on with me and Lotus, but it was quite close to the mark. Surely this man isn’t my stranger.

As I contemplated this, our food arrived and we began eating. “Have you seen much of Ian lately?” my father asked with a raised eyebrow.

You think my eyes would be tired with all the rolling, but I knew exactly where this was heading. “We see each other every day at work, and every Friday for Bolognaise night.”

My father laughed. “Bolognaise night?”

Taking a bite, I nodded my head. “Yes, but he thinks I made this recipe myself when, in fact, I got it from a cookbook.” I laughed a little at my own joke as my parents gave each other a smile.

“It turns out,” my mother said towards my father, “that they’re not FWB’s after all.”

Looking at my mother, I frowned. “FWB? What the hell is FWB?”

She leaned forward, whispering, “Friends with benefits, of course.”

“Mum!” I shouted a little too loudly. I looked around and saw a couple of people staring but, luckily, I wasn’t loud enough to gain the attention of the whole restaurant. “Can we not discuss this here, especially in front of Dad?”

My dad laughed. “I’m not a silly old fool, Tyler. You’re almost thirty. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing behind closed doors.”

My eyes widened, getting paranoid for a second. Surely, he didn’t know. I doubted we’d be having this light-hearted conversation if he did. Inwardly shaking my head at the preposterous thought, I sighed. “Please floor, swallow me up.”

My mother gently tapped my father’s hand. “Derren, let’s not wind the poor girl up any further.”

I nodded towards my mother, thinking this was the end of the conversation. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Closing my eyes, I sighed a little. Why were my mother and father always so interested in my love life? “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m not seeing anyone. I have too many other things happening in my life at the moment.”

My father sat up in his chair a little higher and gazed at me. “Like what, Tyler?”

I knew the day would come when I would have to tell them about Jeremy. I had kept him a secret long enough, but now that he’s coming to live with me, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. People in my life had to know. So, I went to work telling them about Jeremy and how we met, and that I was setting up my apartment and getting it ready for when he moves in.

“Tyler,” my father sighed, folding his napkin on the table. “What I think you’re doing is a very courageous, very selfless thing, but don’t you think you’re taking on a lot of responsibility here? He’s a teenage boy and, not only that, he’s a sick teenage boy.”

I sighed. “Which is precisely the reason I need to do this. He’s had this kind of attitude from people his whole life. He’s never known what it’s like to have a proper family because people would never allow themselves to get too close. When that happened, Jeremy shut everybody else out, pretending he didn’t care that nobody wanted to get close. He craves to be loved. In the short time I’ve gotten to know him, I’ve fallen in love with him. He’s the most friendly, loyal, caring sixteen-year-old boy I have ever met, and he needs to have a family. He has the right to a family, and I’m going to make damn sure he has me as his family. Please support me and understand that I have to do this.”

I hung my head, willing myself not to get too upset. I had been trying to keep my feelings about Jeremy in check, but my worry was always there, bubbling away. I did love and care for Jeremy like he was my little brother. I would do anything to make him happy and even more to make him well again.

Feeling my mother’s hand on mine, I looked up. For the first time, I saw a real admiration in her eyes when she smiled at me. “Darling, why didn’t you tell us about him before? Of course we support you, if this is how you really feel. You obviously love and care very much for this boy. All we ask is that we meet him as soon as he’s settled.”

I smiled at my mother and looked to see the smile on my father’s face, as well. I needed both their support on this, and judging by the way my father was looking at me, I had it. “Thank you,” I sighed, feeling like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

“What you’re doing is very admirable, Tyler. We couldn’t be more proud of you.”

Nodding my head, I could feel the tears in my eyes. “Thank you, Dad. Thank you for believing in me.”

Patting my hand, my mother tut-tutted again. “It’s not a question of not believing in you, Tyler. We have always believed in you. You’re a very stubborn young lady, but we always believed in you.” She raised her eyebrow at me, making me laugh.

“Listen,” she said, serious all of a sudden. “I know we offered countless times and I know you’ve turned us down each time, but if you ever need anything from us, you know where we are. Your father and I are only a phone call away and will only be too happy to help.”

I nodded, but my parents knew me by now. They knew I would never come to them for anything. Not unless it was an absolute emergency that I desperately needed help with. It was a strange relationship, really. Normally, parents were keen to let their children fly the nest and do their own thing. Learn from their mistakes, make their own money, and choose their own paths in life. Not my parents, though. From the very beginning, they had been keen to guide me. Keen to hold my hand every step of the way and offer a way out when needed. In a sense, it was probably good because that only gave me the strength to want to move forward on my own. Instead of grabbing the easiest option, I was turned off by it.

It was in the middle of getting the bill, which my parents insisted on paying, when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Looking outside, I spotted a girl with blonde hair, around fifteen or sixteen. She glanced at her watch like she was waiting for someone. Surely this wasn’t the famous Julie I had been hearing about all these weeks.

There was only one way to find out.

Throwing my seat back, I glanced down at my parents’ shocked expressions. “I’m really sorry, but I have to dash. You don’t mind, do you?” I looked at them pleadingly and they smiled.

“Of course not,” my father said. “You get on with what you need to do. We’ll sort everything out here.”

I thanked my father gracefully, then gave them both a peck on the cheek before rushing out the door. Thankfully, when I looked again, she was still standing there, waiting for someone. As I crossed the road to approach her, she looked at me a little warily, but smiled.

“I’m sorry to just come up to you like this, but is your name Julie?”

The girl smiled, but she was still a little wary of me. She was very pretty. I certainly had to give Jeremy his due. He had very good taste. Her hair was straight and silky, her blue eyes were dark, but radiant. She had freckles, but they were just lightly touching her face, almost kissing her cheeks. She was going to be rather beautiful when she got older.

“Y-yes,” she said with a slight stammer. “I’m Julie.”

Holding out my hand, I smiled. “My name’s Tyler O’Shea. I’m a very good friend, and guardian, of Jeremy.” I saw the hint of recognition in her eyes as she took my hand. “I take that look to mean you know who I’m talking about?”

She nodded with a shy smile. “Yes, but I don’t understand what you’re doing here.”

Placing my hand in my pocket, I pulled out a card so she knew I was telling the truth about who I was. “I’m sorry,” I said, trying to alleviate the pressure. “I promise I haven’t been stalking you.” I inwardly rolled my eyes at the irony. “I was just having lunch with my parents over there in that restaurant.” I pointed and, at that moment, my parents came out and gave me a wave. I waved back and turned towards Julie again. “When I saw you, I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. Jeremy told me you met outside this McDonalds, and I knew it couldn’t be a coincidence when I saw you. I’ve heard so much about you, I feel I practically know you already.”

She smiled shyly again and placed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Jeremy talks about me?” she asked, diverting her eyes to the ground.

I couldn’t help the smile. It seemed Julie was just as taken with Jeremy as I was. “All the time,” I said, smiling.

Julie looked up, saw my genuine smile and gave me a beaming one back. It was then she looked at my card. “It says you work for the Daily London?”

I nodded. “Yes, that’s right. It is how Jeremy and I first met. I run a column called From Afar. Basically, it helps people with secret crushes let the crush know how they feel. Jeremy contacted me about you.”

With a gasp, Julie’s eyes widened. “He did? I would really like to see it.”

I couldn’t believe my luck here. I can, hopefully, see Jeremy’s last wish come true. “Would you like to come inside for a milkshake?” I offered, gesturing towards the McDonalds.

Julie bit her lip and looked around. She was conflicted. “I’m meeting a couple friends for lunch.”

I nodded. “Okay, but I promise it won’t take long.” I didn’t want to pressure the girl but, at the same time, I wanted to speak with her more. Preferably off the street.

Finally, she caved, giving me her sweet smile. “Okay, my friends are always late anyway. It will teach them a lesson.”

Laughing, I motioned for Julie to walk in front of me and opened the door. She ordered a strawberry milkshake and I ordered a coffee, and we sat down by the window. “Here would be good so you can see when your friends arrive.”

Julie nodded and looked at me for a few seconds. “You’re very pretty,” she acknowledged.

I blushed a little. “Why, thanks. So are you. I can see why Jeremy is so smitten.”

“So what did he say about me?” she asked in her eager teenage voice. I had to smile, remembering those days myself. The days when I was in love with Dean.

Taking out my phone, I searched for the original article and handed her the phone. Julie sat there for a while, reading and smiling. You could tell this all made her happy.

“He wants to kiss me?” she asked, her eyes wide with both anxiety and excitement.

I nodded. “Yes, he likes you very much. The problem is that he’s been quite sick and in the hospital, so he hasn’t been around.”

Clasping a hand over her mouth, Julie gasped. “Oh no. Is he okay? I was wondering why I hadn’t seen him in a while.”

Patting her hand gently, I smiled. “He’s fine. Every day, he fights, and every day, he grows stronger. He’s the most caring, funny, and loyal boy I’ve ever met.”

“Is he still in the hospital?” I nodded. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s been fighting Leukaemia virtually his whole life. It’s been very hard for him, but with the right care and the right people, I’m sure he will pull through. It is what I’m driving towards every day.”

She smiled at that. “You care for him very much.”

I nodded. “I do. It was never about the story, Julie. I don’t care about the story. I care about getting Jeremy better, and I think one of the people who could help along the way is you.”

“Me?” she asked with a screech.

I nodded with a laugh. “Yes, you. Would you not like to meet him? I mean, properly?”

Julie blushed a little and bit her lip. “I don’t know. I’m a little shy.”

Suddenly a several knocks on the window resounded, making both Julie and I jump. The two girls outside started laughing, then made their way towards the door.

“I take it they are your friends?” She nodded. “Look, you have my card. Think about it. If you decide you would like to meet him, just give me a call.”

Grabbing my bag, I eased myself out of the seat just as the two girls arrived. “Hello,” I said with a smile.

“Hiya,” they both said, looking towards Julie with a frown.

“I was just off. It was nice to meet you, Julie. Have a great day, ladies.”

They all waved goodbye, and as I was leaving, I heard one of the girls ask who I was. I just smiled. It was up to Julie to make up what she wanted on that front.

Walking briskly back to the office, my head held high, I went back to my desk with a beaming smile. Louisa was right there, waiting for me, and she didn’t look too happy.

“You’re fifteen minutes late and the boss wants to see you.”

I checked my watch and it was only then I realised just what the time was.

Shit, there goes my happy smile. “Does he want to see me because I’m late?”

Louisa gritted her teeth and clasped a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Tyler.”

Louisa didn’t like slackers, but I knew she was genuinely sorry for the bollocking I was about to receive. And I knew that’s exactly what it was going to be.

Taking the walk of shame, I thanked Louisa and timidly knocked on Andrew Walker’s door.

“Come in!” he boomed.

Closing my eyes momentarily, I breathed in a lungful of air before opening the door. Mr. Walker was sitting there, looking rather stern underneath all his facial hair.

“Sit down, please, Miss O’Shea.” I did as I was told and braced myself.

“You do realise what time it is, don’t you?”

I nodded. “Yes, sorry. I was with my parents having lunch, and we—”

“I don’t care if you’re having lunch with the fucking queen of England. Your hour for lunch is just that. No taking five minutes here and five minutes there, with a two hour lunch in between. You’re here to work and you will do just that. It wasn’t that long ago that you were off with the flu. And then there was that stomach bug a few weeks ago. Not only that, you’re off on leave for the next few days. It’s got to stop. Just because I give you your own column now doesn’t mean you can come and go when you see fit.”

I nodded. I felt guilty about taking that week off because I wasn’t really ill. However, I was really ill about four weeks back. That was actually a genuine couple of days off work. The next few days was simply so I could spend time with Jeremy and settle him in at home.

“You can go back to work, but I don’t want to hear about you being late again. Do you hear me?”

Clasping my now sweaty hands together, I nodded. “Yes. I’m very sorry. This won’t happen again.”

Mr. Walker sighed and sat back in his chair. “Good. Now, if you have any issues outside of work in the future, I suggest you come to me first. Can you do that?”

I nodded. “Of course. Certainly.”

Seeing the calm radiating over him, I knew he was feeling more in control of his anger now. “You’re a great worker, Tyler. Let’s keep it that way.”

Nodding again, I got up. “Thank you,” I said as I opened the door. “And I’m very sorry for being late.”

Andrew Walker nodded and I swiftly walked out the door. Shit, that was intense. I looked towards Louisa and Ian, and they both gave me a sympathetic smile. At least I still had my friends. I knew they would support me. Everyone knew what a hard-ass Andrew Walker really was, but I never got to see it for myself…until now.

I don’t think I want to do that again.

Scurrying back to my desk, I went straight to work getting the column ready and sorting out all the necessaries for when I’m off. I would still need to work on it, but at least I could do it from home and spend as much time with Jeremy as I could. A couple of hours at the hospital never seemed to be enough.

Just as I was closing everything up on my desk and getting ready to visit Jeremy, my phone chimed alerting me to a text message. When I looked down, I saw it was a number I didn’t recognise. I opened it and, to my surprise, it was Julie.



If the offer still stands, I would like to meet him. Let me know when and I’ll see if I can make it.



Gasping, I typed back.



Sure, no problem, Julie. That’s great news. I will be in touch as soon as I can.



I jumped up I said my goodbyes to Louisa and Ian, and ran towards the lift. I couldn’t stop the stupid grin now plastered on my face at the thought of telling Jeremy I had met Julie, and she wanted to meet him properly. Jeremy would be over-the-moon when I tell him. It would, hopefully, be enough to brighten his day. He had been looking awfully pale lately, and I questioned him a number of times about whether he was really ready to leave the hospital. Jeremy didn’t seem to care. All he wanted was out of there and I didn’t really blame him. He’d been at the hospital for far too long now.

Getting in my car, I wasted no time starting it up and heading for the hospital. All the way there, I had this huge grin on my face as I sang “Happy” by Pharrell Williams at the top of my lungs. It was such an apt song for my mood right now.

Once I got there, trying to find a space took a little while, but I managed to nab one the minute someone pulled out. I was feeling impatient and excited. I just needed to get in there and tell him the fantastic news. Jeremy was going to be so happy to hear Julie liked him, too. That was plain to see by the look on her face and the glint in her eye when I spoke about him. She was just as smitten.

Pressing the button on the lift about a hundred times, I impatiently waited for the doors to open. After what seemed like an age, I, along with a couple others, stepped in. I pressed the button for the third floor and stood there tapping my foot, still with that stupid grin on my face.

As the lift doors opened, I inhaled a deep breath and rushed out with the immense relief of being close enough to tell him. But once I got through the door, I froze. Jeremy was lying in bed, looking very stressed and upset. Around him were a half-dozen reporters firing questions at him about Julie and what it was like being raised in foster homes. The nurses were there and trying to round them all up so they could get him out of there. Jeremy looked up, saw me, and the look on his face nearly killed me. “How could you?” he asked, tears in his eyes. “I thought you were my friend.”

I walked forward, but he put out his hand to stop me. “I swear. I didn’t know anything about this.”

The reporters were all looking from me to Jeremy with an air of apprehension. This was what I hated about the job. Some of them fed off of other people’s grief. They just itched for gossip, any story that they knew would sell. They started trying to fire questions at me, but the three security guards came rushing in to help the nurses clear the reporters away.

“How could you?” he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes. “I trusted you. You told me you wouldn’t breathe a word to anyone.”

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my face. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but seeing Jeremy looking so betrayed cut me deeper than anything I’d ever known. This pain was worse than when Dean left.

“I swear to you, Jeremy. I didn’t have anything to do with this.”

All was quiet now as the reporters were sent away. One security guard came back in. He looked at Jeremy and me with an uneasy expression on his face.

“Can you please take her away, too? I don’t want to see her.” He motioned towards the security guard and completely ignored me.

The guard grabbed my arm, but I yanked it away. “Jeremy, you have to believe me. I would never do this.”

Jeremy turned his face away and I could tell he was crying. I wanted nothing more than to scoop him in my arms and convince him beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was not behind any of this. The only people I told so far were my parents. I just couldn’t believe they would do such a cruel thing as this.

“Miss, you need to go before you get arrested.” The guard looked sternly at me and I knew there was just no way I was going to be able to sort this out today.

Nodding, I dejectedly turned around and walked towards the door. As I neared it, Rachael came over to me a sympathetic smile on her face.

“I swear I never did this,” I whispered. I was feeling panicked. My heart was racing a million miles an hour and the tears wouldn’t stop.

“I know,” she answered, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Don’t be too upset. Jeremy has been so used to people letting him down that he’s been finding it hard to trust anybody. Give him a couple days. I’m sure he’ll come round. I’ll have a word with him once he calms down and I’ll call you tomorrow morning.”

I felt slight relief, but it still cut me to the bone to think that Jeremy thought I had done this. The look on his face was something I’d never forget.

Nodding, I grabbed Rachael for a hug and thanked her. She was always one of the few nurses here that took their job seriously. She cared deeply for her patients and it was a joy to see her at work.

“Don’t worry,” Rachael smiled, patting my face. “Everything will be fine in the morning. He just needs to calm down a little.”

“Thank you,” I said, taking her hand. Rachael smiled and I knew that was my cue to leave. Jeremy needed some space and time to think things through. I didn’t know whether he would ever believe me, but it just didn’t make sense I would go to all this trouble setting up a home for us just to turn around and betray him.

Grabbing some tissues from my bag, I wandered to the lift aimlessly, then towards my car. The tears kept coming, but I didn’t care. People were probably so used to seeing people cry at hospitals anyway. What difference does it make to see one more poor, dejected soul.

As I fumbled with my keys, I opened the door, threw my bag in, and took a seat. All I could see was Jeremy’s face and how broken he looked. The pain in his eyes was unbearable.

It was then that the floodgates opened. It was then that the immeasurable pain of not knowing if we would get through this took over. Burying my head in my hands, I sobbed. By the time I was finished, night had fallen. Lights were twinkling overhead, and people were leaving to go to dinner or meet their friends and family. Music was playing in bars and clubs, girls were scantily dressed and ready for their night out of booze and dancing.

And I was left feeling completely and utterly heartbroken.





Chapter 36



Dean



Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot that it do singe yourself.

William Shakespeare





I was at the mansion waiting on a call from Jimmy. I couldn’t understand what was taking him so long. I was contemplating whether to call him when Humphrey walked in.

“Aidan Carmichael is waiting for you in the lounge, and he doesn’t look happy.”

Fuck, I didn’t need this shit. I had more important things to be worrying about right now. “Fine. I’ll be there in a minute.” Humphrey nodded and walked out the door. I was completely unsure of myself now. I have never felt that way in my entire life, but now? Now I was doubting every single fucking thing I said or did, and I put it all down to that witch in fucking sexy high heels.

Staring at my clock, I noticed it was after eight. Maybe Carmichael would be a good distraction to get me out of this funk. Once I’m done with him, I’ll give Jimmy a call.

Getting up from my seat, I went towards the lounge where Carmichael was waiting with a drink in his hand. He looked pissed off about something, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let him be pissed off with me. He’s caught me on a bad day.

“Scozzari, why is it I’m being told my wife is visiting you? What the fuck are you doing with her?”

Carmichael virtually catapulted towards me, but I was faster. Moving swiftly, I got behind him and gripped my arm around his neck. “First of all, don’t you ever fucking come into my house and shout at me like that again. Second of all, your wife visited me, not the other way around. And third of all, if you don’t get your shit together, you’re going to lose the most important thing in your life.”

Carmichael’s face turned red as he cowered beneath me. This was the first time he had ever seen me this angry and in control.

“I-I don’t know what you mean,” he spluttered.

I let him go.“Sit your ass down. I need to talk to you.” Remarkably, he did as he was told and sat down, a confused look on his face.

“Did Cynthia tell you she came to visit me?” I had to know. I was suddenly getting paranoid that he was having me tailed. I didn’t think I was being followed, but from now on, I would certainly be on higher alert than normal.

Carmichael shook his head. “No, it was one of her bitchy friends. She was coming back from playing tennis at the club and passed by your mansion. She was just fucking itching to tell me she saw her going in.” He had a look of disgust on his face and, for the first time, I could agree with him there. If that story’s true, Cynthia didn’t need friends like that.

“Cynthia loves you very much, although I can’t understand why.”

Carmichael’s posture straightened as he glared at me. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

I could almost feel myself rolling my eyes. “Oh, come on, Carmichael. For fuck’s sake, you have a beautiful wife and kids at home who adore you, but all you’re concerned about is screwing around.”

“Well, you were the one who introduced me to those girls.”

He had me there, but he didn’t need much encouragement. “Aidan, you’ve been screwing around long before Samantha and Katie. Don’t try and act like you’re innocent in all this. You’re far from it. Yes, I placed the temptation there, but you certainly didn’t need any persuading.”

He suddenly looked panicked. “Does she know? Did you fucking tell her?” he asked, a hint of spit forming in his mouth.

“No, I didn’t! Now calm the fuck down! I’ve already told you that whatever is said or done between us here, stays here, and I’m a man of my word, Carmichael. I don’t fuck about. I would say the same for your wife, but considering her fucking so-called bitchy friend told you about her visit, I guess I’m going to have to tell you. Cynthia is worried about you. She says you’ve been different around her lately and she thinks you may be having an affair. In fact, she fucking knows you’ve screwed around on her. She feels upset and let down but, most of all, she feels lonely. When was the last time you told your wife how beautiful she looks, Carmichael? When was the last time you took her out for a romantic meal, whisked her away to somewhere nice for the weekend, and held her in your arms? When?”

I couldn’t believe I actually saw remorse in Carmichael. I didn’t think he had it in him. “She came to you and told you she felt this way?” I nodded. “Shit. Why has she never said anything to me about it?”

Sitting down opposite him, I sighed. “Maybe she has tried, but you’ve just ignored her. I’ve got to say, Carmichael. Cynthia is one very attractive woman. If you don’t start taking care of her, she will look for someone who will.”

Carmichael glared up at me with a hint of murder in his eyes. “Don’t you fucking go near my wife, Dean. I swear I’ll fucking kill you.”

I started laughing. Firstly, because he even thought it possible that he could ever get near me. I’d fucking snap his neck quicker than he could register. Secondly, because it seemed he actually did care about his wife.

“What’s so fucking funny? You think I’m not serious?”

Still laughing, I nodded. “You’re deadly serious. I just didn’t think you had it in you. See, you do care about your wife. You do feel that pent-up anger at the thought of another man finding her attractive, or another man touching her.”

“Of course I fucking do!” he shouted, a vein nearly popping out of his neck.

Leaning in closer to him, I grabbed the collar of his shirt. “Then don’t you think it’s high time you fucking told her? I’ve noticed just how sexy she is, and if I’ve noticed, other men have noticed, too. But guess what, Carmichael? For some unknown fucking reason, she loves you. It’s so hard to comprehend, but it’s true, but all you want to do is screw around while she stays at home taking care of your beautiful daughters. Show her some fucking respect.” I forced Carmichael away and let go of his collar. I was mad. I was mad at him, mad at myself, mad at Tyler, mad at the fucking world we lived in.

Once Carmichael adjusted himself, he looked at me with shock in his eyes. “You’re right. You’re fucking right. I’ve been a fucking terrible husband. I need to fix this. How am I going to fix this?”

Feeling myself calm a little, I looked at Carmichael. I actually even felt a little sorry for him, despite the fact he was a dumb fuck who only acted with his dick.

“Listen,” I sighed. “I’ve just bought a few properties on the Costa Del Sol and Costa De La Luz. Properties are going for next to nothing down there. I’ve recently acquired a villa with a pool. It has five bedrooms and is situated on a mountain, overlooking the Mediterranean. Why don’t you take some time off and surprise Cynthia and the kids to a nice holiday? I can get you the keys, and it’s yours for however long you need it.”

I only offered because I wanted to do it more for Cynthia than this selfish prick in front of me. She was lonely and needed the man in her life to show her how special she really was.

“You’d do that for me?” he asked, dumbfounded.

I shook my head. “No. I’m doing it for your wife.”

Carmichael smiled resolutely and I knew he understood. With a deep breath, he placed the glass on the counter and stood up. “I appreciate everything you do for me, Dean. I really do.” He held out his hand and I accepted the gesture.

Tapping his hand, I winked. “No problem. What are you going to do now?”

Buttoning up his suit, Carmichael sighed. “Well, the first thing I’m going to do is pop into work and see about taking some time off. The second thing I’m going to do is buy my wife some flowers and take her out for a nice meal. Then the third thing I would like to do after all that is take you up on that offer.”

I smiled at him and tapped his shoulder. “You go do that. Remind Cynthia of the man she married, then let me know when you want to go away. I can give you the details and have someone meet you at the airport with the keys.”

Carmichael closed his eyes. “I’ve been a dick.”

I laughed. “Yes, but we’ve all been one of those from time to time.”

Carmichael looked to be in deep thought for a moment. “Hey, why aren’t you married yet? You obviously seem to care about what happens with my wife, so what gives?”

I shook my head with a sigh. “I guess I just haven’t found my Cynthia yet, Aidan.” I gave him a cheeky smile and he aimed another back at me.

“I better be off,” he said, marching towards the door. “I have a lot to plan. I’ll speak to you later?”

I nodded. “Of course. Now, go have a nice time with Cynthia. Take her to Angels. I’ll make sure there’s a good bottle of champagne on ice for the two of you.”

Carmichael smiled widely and patted my back. “I will. Thanks, my friend.” With a final pat, Carmichael left.

Humphrey came up behind me. “You’re really making sure you keep that fucker sweet after he got you out of the shit a few weeks back.”

I shrugged. “I guess I’m warming to the little fuck after all.” I smiled and Humphrey laughed.

“Jimmy called about five minutes ago. He said he would call back.”

Just as he said this, the phone rang. With not a moment to lose, I ran straight into my office and saw it was Jimmy calling. “Jimmy, is it done?”

“Yes,” he answered, sounding pissed off. “I don’t know what the fuck that girl’s done to you, but it better be good because I had to witness her face today. She looked fucking broken, Dean.”

My heart twisted with the news. I wanted to cause her pain, I wanted to get her back, but why did it fill me with such despair then? What was this gut-wrenching, stomach-churning feeling I had inside me? Could it possibly be guilt? I don’t ever feel guilt. I shouldn’t have to feel guilt. But, for some reason, I felt it nonetheless.

“Where is she now?” I asked, sounding just as dejected as Jimmy did.

“She’s back at home.” Jimmy sighed and, for some reason, the sound made my head pound. “Listen, I’ve always liked working for you, and I’m willing to do anything, you know that. I took this on because you promised me you wouldn’t hurt her. I know I meant it in the physical sense, but you should have seen her, Dean. You didn’t see the pain in her eyes. I never want to see that again. I’ll kidnap a guy, torture him for you if I have to, but don’t ever ask me to do that again.”

Pinching the end of my nose, I sighed. “You have my word.”

“Thanks,” he answered before hanging up.

All I could do after that was sink down in my chair and stare at the walls. I had gotten what I came for, so why was it I felt so fucking small right now? Why did I feel like the biggest shit on earth? I preached to Carmichael, but I was just as bad—worse, in fact. I sent Jimmy to that hospital pretending to be a reporter just so he could witness for me the pain she would be in. I was such a coward that I couldn’t even do it myself. Deep down, I knew I wouldn’t be able to take it. I knew it would end up breaking me as much as it did her. So why did I do it? I had to convince myself it was necessary. She had betrayed me and she needed to know what that felt like. It was what I had been planning all along.

So why is it that I was planning to visit Jeremy tomorrow and tell him it was all one big mistake? That what happened was just one big misunderstanding, and that Tyler was completely innocent?

Maybe it’s because, deep down, you really care, my inner voice seethed. Even my subconscious thinks I’m a fucking asshole.

“I don’t fucking care!” I shouted, getting out of my seat.

“You don’t fucking care about what?” Humphrey asked at the door.

“Nothing, old man. You just get back to getting ready for your lady. I’ve got other shit to deal with.” I tossed the phone I still had in my hand and sat back down with a huff.

Sensing my frustration, Humphrey sat down opposite me. “Have you ever heard of the saying ‘Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves’?”

I sighed, knowing exactly where this was heading. “Yes, but I can’t see how this has anything to do with me.”

Humphrey laughed and shook his head. “Deany boy, you dug your grave a long time ago when you started this thing. Now all you’ve done is bury yourself in it. You’re up to your neck in it, Dean, and pretty soon, if you carry on the way you are, it will swallow you up and you’ll suffocate in it. The sickest part about all this is you’ve ended up falling in love with her again. The one person who hurt you the most is breaking you without her even knowing it.”

“I’m not in love with her, Humphrey, and she hasn’t broken me.” I was angry, so fucking angry. I didn’t let her in. I couldn’t fucking let her in.

Humphrey shook his head. “You’re so blind that you can’t even see what’s right in front of you. Dean, please, you have to stop this. I’m thinking of you, as well as her. You will make her fall, and you will only come tumbling down after her.”

I shook my head. “No, I won’t believe what you say is true. She did what she did and she had to pay.”

Humphrey sighed and got up from his chair, shaking of his head. “And now she has, Dean. Leave it the fuck alone. You seek havoc, but all you’ll end up finding is despair. Let it go.” Reaching for the handle of the front door, Humphrey left with a silent click of the door, and I was left with his parting words whirling around in my head.

You seek havoc, but all you’ll end up finding is despair.

I didn’t care for Tyler, I hadn’t let her in, and I certainly didn’t love her. I made that mistake once. I wasn’t going to let myself fall for it again. “Fool me once…” and all that shit.

But no matter what I thought, it didn’t stop that nagging voice in my head. It didn’t stop the fucking agonising pain in my gut. And it didn’t stop my black heart from finally beating for Tyler. She was bewitching me and I was letting her.

I was right when I told Tyler I was a demon, but I had to make certain she wasn’t right, too.





Chapter 37



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 2001





“That guy over there’s looking to get his head kicked in.”

I looked over and saw a boy of about eighteen or nineteen staring over at me. “Dean, he’s only looking.”

Dean placed a very possessive arm around my shoulder and scowled at the boy. The boy’s eyes widened and, very quickly, he looked away.

“That’s better,” Dean said, huffing a little.

“What’s wrong with him looking at me?” I asked, not wanting to let this go.

Kissing me softly next to my left eye, Dean smiled. “It’s not the looking that bothers me. It was how he was looking at you. I’m a man, so I know what other men think. He was practically undressing you with his eyes.”

Nudging him gently in the ribs, I giggled. “Oh, come on, Dean. He was just looking.”

Dean faced me and leaned into my ear. He was so tall now, at least seven inches taller than me. In the ten years I have known him, he’s just shot up. “No one gets to look at my girl like that, Tyler.” The way he whispered it into my ear made me shudder, then he gently nibbled on my ear, making the fires rage inside of me. “No one.”



*****



I didn’t know what time it was when the phone started ringing. All I knew was that I had been sleeping, dreaming of Dean and I again. When the phone wouldn’t stop, I switched my light on and noticed it was a little after one in the morning.

Rubbing my eyes, I got up and wrapped my dressing gown around me before running for the phone. I really needed to get one installed in my room. I had been meaning to do it but, then again, no one normally calls me at such an ungodly hour.

“Hello?” I whispered into the phone. I couldn’t help the yawn that escaped me. I was still half-asleep.

“Tyler?” the voice said with a hint of urgency.

“Rachael?” I was fully awake now, both panicking and secretly praying Jeremy wanted to see me. “Is Jeremy okay? Does he want to talk? I can be there in less than twenty minutes.”

Suddenly, she burst into tears, and the sound of her crying had the bells ringing in my ears.

“Jeremy’s pneumonia came back, but he hoped he could beat it. He made us swear not to tell you so you didn’t worry. About an hour ago, he started convulsing and slipped into a coma. I simply had to call you and let you know.”

My heart started thumping through my chest as I frantically ran around the room, trying to gather my things. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Then I hung up.

I didn’t waste any time. I was at the hospital as soon as possible and running through the doors. “Tyler, you’re here,” Rachel whispered.

I looked at where Jeremy normally was and he wasn’t there. The panicking intensified. “Where’s Jeremy?” I asked, terror in my voice.

“We’ve had to move him to ICU. You hung up on me so fast, I didn’t get a chance to tell you.”

My eyes widened as the horror of her words sank in. “Where is the ICU, Rachael? Can you take me there?”

Rachael nodded and took my hand. “Of course. It’s down on the first floor.”

I followed her into the lift, my heart in my mouth. I could tell by looking at Rachael that there was more to this than what she was telling me. “What’s wrong, Rachael? Please, tell me,” I implored.

Rachael looked over at me briefly and bit her lip. “His lungs are failing. We’ve had to hook him up to machine to help him breathe.”

I suddenly found I couldn’t breathe. My knees were weak and my gut clenched in agony. I couldn’t have Jeremy give up on me. Not now that we’ve found each other.

Once the lift doors opened, Rachael led me down the darkened, quiet hallway and to a door which had a security entrance system. Rachael keyed in a number and I followed behind her.

When I saw Jeremy, my heart couldn’t take anymore. I sobbed, throwing a hand over my mouth to try and capture the noise. Jeremy was lying there, looking paler than ever. His skin was yellow and the dark circles under his eyes were more purple than I had ever seen them. There was a tube inside his mouth and I could hear the machine beside him pumping air into his lungs.

Rachael was suddenly there by my side, offering a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. “I will stay here tonight. I don’t want to leave him. I’ve offered to help down here on an extra shift.” Rachael smiled timidly, and I couldn’t help but feel eternally grateful to her.

Placing my hand on hers, I smiled as best as I could. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

Rachael nodded. I sat down beside him as she checked his vitals. “There’s no change,” she whispered.

“What’s the outcome, Rachael?” I asked as I took Jeremy’s hand.

“This is the worst part about it. I can’t tell you. It’s anyone’s guess. Time is the only thing that will tell.”

I looked across at Jeremy, tears in my eyes. “He can’t give up, Rachael. He just can’t.”

Handing me a tissue, Rachael came over to give me a gentle pat on the back. “I’ll give you some time to sit with him.”

I watched as she walked off and I sat there staring at Jeremy’s drawn face. He looked so fragile just lying there with the breathing machine next to him. In a sense, it was too much to take.

“Jeremy,” I whispered. “You have to know that I never betrayed you. I would never do anything to hurt you. I want you to know that no matter what, you have me for life. I will never let you down. I will be there for you through thick and thin. I need you to know that I love you, Jeremy. I love you like the brother I never had. You mean everything to me, so I can’t lose you. Please, Jeremy. Please get better. Please don’t give up on me.”

I was met with only the noise of the machines and the sounds of the constant ringing in my ears. I felt vacant. I seemed to slip into a blank world and just stared into space. It was calm there. Nothing and no one could hurt me. After a while, I placed my lips on Jeremy’s hand, giving him a gentle kiss. With a turn of my head, I relaxed onto our intertwined hands and closed my eyes. I inhaled Jeremy in, letting his scent surround me. It was the only comfort I had now.



*****



The sound of an alarm woke me. At first, I thought it was my alarm clock and it was time to get up for work. But then I heard people’s voices screaming at one another, I felt someone’s hands on my shoulders.

“Tyler, you have to move.”

Opening my eyes, I saw Rachael desperately trying to raise me out of my seat. There was a doctor there, and another two nurses were running in with a crash cart.

“No!” I screamed. I tried to go to him, but Rachael and another nurse pulled me out of the way.

“We have to work on him, Tyler. I’m sorry, but you have to move.”

I let them take me so they could do their job, but I felt helpless. “Please!” I shouted. “Please help him.”

The doctor started the defibrillator and the sound of it rang in my ears. Once he cut open Jeremy’s top, he placed the pads down on his chest. “Clear!” he shouted. He placed the defibrillator on Jeremy’s chest and zapped him. It raised a little, but nothing happened. The doctor restarted the machine and did it a second time, but still nothing. I was lost. The fear of having Jeremy slipping through my fingers was an overwhelming feeling. He can’t leave me. He just can’t.

The doctor did it another couple of times, but there was still nothing. With an effort to keep going, he started chest compressions. It seemed to go on forever, and all I could do was watch and pray.

With a snap of his head, the doctor shouted at one of the nurses for a shot of adrenaline. He quickly administered it, but after a few moments of more compressions, the doctor looked up at a nurse. My heart dropped because I knew exactly what that look meant. He was giving up.

“No, you can’t give up. You have to keep going!” I felt Rachael grip my shoulders tightly as the doctor stopped trying to pump life into Jeremy.

“Time of death, five thirty-seven a.m.”

“No!” I screamed again. “Please, you have to do something. He’s only sixteen. He’s just a boy!”

The doctor came up to me and placed a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Miss O’Shea. There was nothing more we could do. His lungs started failing and all his other organs followed. Even if we could have brought him back, he wouldn’t have lived long.”

I stared at him blankly as he hung his head. He left and I was suddenly cocooned in Rachael’s arms.

The ringing in my ears instantly rang louder, my heart thumped, and my hands started shaking. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, this can’t be. Tell me it’s just a joke. Tell me he’s really okay and that he’s still coming home with me. Tell me, Rachael!” My voice was breaking, but my heart was breaking even more. It couldn’t be true. Jeremy was going to make it through this. He was going to trust me again, and we were going to live together like the family he never had.

“I’ve arranged for him to go to school, and I’ve moved some things into his room for when he comes out. I’ve—”

“I know,” Rachael answered with a sob. “I know you have. Jeremy would have been lucky to have you. He knew that in the end. I can promise you that.”

I didn’t believe her. “It’s all my fault he’s dead. I did this to him. He trusted me and he died thinking I let him down.”

Rachael sniffled and I could tell she was finding it hard to speak. “No!” she shrilled. “Jeremy was a very sick boy, Tyler. He died because his organs couldn’t take much more, not because of something he thought you did. You can’t blame yourself for that. I spoke with him after you left. I told him I knew it couldn’t have been you behind all of that today, and I could tell, in his heart of hearts, he felt it, too.”

No matter what she said, I still didn’t believe her. He trusted me and he died thinking I betrayed him. “Please,” I begged through my sobs. “Please tell me it’s a mistake. Tell me I’m dreaming, Rachael. That this is all just one big terrible nightmare.” My sobs caught in my throat as I fought hard to breathe. I just couldn’t believe that Jeremy…the bouncing, bubbly boy with a heart of a lion and the dreams of a potentially brilliant young man…was gone, never to return. He could have done anything if he had set his mind to it.

For some reason, my mind wandered to that day when we went on the helicopter ride. He was so full of enthusiasm, I had little doubt that if he wanted to pursue a life as a pilot, he could achieve it. Remembering this, I remembered the photograph of him and me on that helicopter ride. We both looked so happy back then, so full of hope for the future.

But now…now he had nothing ahead of him and it felt as though it was all my doing. He kept people away because he thought they would all just let him down in the end. People stayed away from him because they didn’t want to get too close. I just wanted to be a part of his life. I wanted to show him that sometimes in life, you can trust someone enough to let them in, let them be a part of you through the good times and the bad. To let him see just how wonderful it was to have someone in your life you could rely on one hundred percent.

“I’m so sorry,” Rachael said with a little sniffle. “I wish I could give you better news. I wish all this was just one terrible nightmare, but I can’t lie to you, Tyler. Jeremy’s gone.”

Hearing those final words were the end of me. Nothing made sense anymore. Everything just fucking paled into insignificance. My mind went blank, my hearing cut off, and the world just seemed to stop spinning. It was as if time stood still. Nothing moved, nothing changed, everything just stopped.

And so did I.





Chapter 38



Dean





What the fuck have I done?





Chapter 39



Tyler





No amount of comfort seemed to put me at ease. No amount of nice words or pats on the shoulder was enough to stop my heart from being ripped from my chest. I went through my days void of any companionship. Not even my stranger came to see me in my week of grief. I made funeral arrangements for Jeremy and attended like I should have, with a very upset Julie standing next to me. I made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t fall apart despite the fact I was dying inside. Life went on, but as far as I was concerned, it had all ended the day the lift doors opened and the world came tumbling down. At first, I blamed my parents. I blamed anybody that could have been involved in this somehow. I couldn’t understand how this happened. I knew my mum and dad could never have done something like this to me, but it didn’t stop the torrent of words that came out of my mouth. Of course, once I calmed down, I apologised and they forgave me. They said I was just grieving. They understood and, once all was said, I was given the much needed hug and was told it would never be mentioned again.

I only existed now. I got up in the morning, did my column, and went to bed. I lived on nothing but water and crackers, feeling sick every time something touched my lips. I threw up on several occasions, knowing that the guilt was trying to rid me of its terrible sins. It was almost as if my body was ridding me of the awful things Jeremy thought I had done. Several times, I found myself falling asleep on what was supposed to be his bed. In my arms, I clutched a new book and a packet of Twiglets that he was supposed to eat once he got out of hospital. In the end, I opened a packet and ate the whole lot. It seemed it was the only thing I could keep down. It made me laugh to think this was somehow Jeremy’s punishment for me. That I could only eat Twiglets from now on because of what he thought I did to him. So, day after day, I ate Twiglets. I ate them until I felt sick. I ate them until my stomach was full and my eyes grew heavy with sleep. All I did was work, eat crap, and sleep. It had become my regular pattern for the week. There was no laughter, no tears, no Spaghetti Bolognaise nights, and no visits from my stranger. I just carried on with what I had to, and nothing more.

Once the funeral was over, I found myself driving home in the pouring rain. My parents were there, Louisa and Ian were there, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to see any of them afterwards. I told them I was okay, but the truth of the matter was that I wasn’t. All I wanted to do now was go home, drink my sorrows away, and pray that things would get better one day. So, once I got home, I did just that. I cracked open a bag of Twiglets, poured myself some brandy, and sat there watching Top Gear for four hours straight. Once my eyes grew heavy, I dragged myself, fully-clothed, towards my bed. I couldn’t sleep in Jeremy’s room tonight. My head couldn’t take that right now. I just wanted my familiar smells and the sedated effects of the alcohol to take over. It was only seven o’clock by the time I got to bed, but it was dark enough to fall asleep. It wasn’t long before I did just that.



*****



It didn’t seem like long after that I woke, but when I peeked at the time, it was just after one in the morning. I had slept in the same position for six hours straight. My head felt fuzzy and the nausea was creeping back, but that served me right after downing five shots of brandy.

I knew he was here. That was why I woke up. He was hovering at my bedroom door just like he did every time he came to visit. He would stand there for a while, almost like he was watching me. It was as though he was trying to figure me out. What he was trying to get to the bottom of, I have no idea, but I never once interrupted him. I never once said anything to break his spell. I just let him watch me. I let him stalk me because, now, he was a part of me. I lived and breathed my stranger. I lived and breathed Lotus. What could he offer me in my time of grief? Could he somehow momentarily take away this immeasurable pain? Could it be possible that he could break this spell of depression I had found myself under all week?

Before I could even think about the answers, he stepped forward.





Chapter 40



Dean



Beware the fury of a patient man.

John Dryden





I had been telling myself all week that I had to come to her and see for myself just how much of a stupid fuck I’d been. I had to witness the insurmountable pain I had caused. Not because I wanted to feed off it. Not because I would gain pleasure from it. No. I did it because I had to show myself what I had done to her. I had to see whether all I had put into action was truly worth it in the end. Of course, it wasn’t. I had been telling myself that for a long time now. The voice was there, rattling in my brain. It had been kicking and thumping around in there until my head was sore.

I just didn’t listen.

And what was the end result of all this?

Tyler’s pain. Tyler’s anguish. Tyler’s suffering.

Wasn’t that what I had been wanting all along? Of course! I just didn’t foresee it would result in an innocent boy’s death. I was the cause of his death, no one else. Me. He didn’t deserve to be embroiled in my revenge. He was an innocent victim in all this.

Collateral damage.

Fisting my hands tightly together, I watched as Tyler lay there, fully-clothed. She still wore the same clothes she had on at the funeral. Of course, I was there and watched the whole ceremony. I made myself do it because, in some sick and twisted way, I felt like I was getting the punishment I deserved. I deserved to watch her pain because that was what I was after all along.

But did I feel good about it? Did I celebrate on the rooftops shouting “Hooray, hooray”? Of course not. Jeremy was dead because I was a stupid fuck who was too consumed with rage and desire for revenge. You seek havoc, but all you’ll end up finding is despair.

My uncle was right. I didn’t want to fucking admit it, but he was bang on. I had dug my grave and, to punish myself, I should be buried right alongside Jeremy. In some sick, twisted irony, the two graves had been dug. It was just a technicality that differentiated between the two.

In the past week, I had drowned myself in a sea of paperwork, punching bags, bourbon, and despair. The only actual contact I made to the outside world was when Carmichael came around to thank me again for the offer of the holiday. He had taken his wife out, wooed her like he was twenty again, and surprised her with my offered gift. He was there now, no doubt sunning it up with Cynthia and the girls, having a great time at the villa. I was glad for them. If Carmichael wanted to be a better man and Cynthia gave him that chance, all the best to them. Some things were just worth fighting for.

Tyler, on the other hand, looked like she had lost her fight. She looked so fragile curled up into a little ball with what looked like a packet of Twiglets in her hand. I wondered what had been the fascination with these Twiglets. I often saw them lying around the house and inside what I presumed would have been Jeremy’s room. A part of me wondered if, in some sick way, I didn’t orchestrate what I did just so it would halt any plans for that to happen. I had to have Tyler to myself at all costs.

It’s just that I had paid the ultimate price.

Tyler was never going to leave my thoughts, no matter how much I tried to push her out of them. Looking at her now, it was hard to comprehend how she could have done what she did to me. How on earth could what I heard and saw possibly have been real? I knew I had to go to her tonight. I knew I had to comfort her. Not because it felt like a way of getting back at her, but because I felt I could offer her the comfort she needed. I knew she had turned everyone else away. I knew it was a great possibility she would do the same to me. But I had to try. I had to offer her the chance to turn me away. It would only be what I deserved.

So, with my mind made up, I stepped forward, careful with my footing so as not to frighten her or disturb her too much. I sat on the bed, pulling my knees up towards her so that my feet could dangle off the bed. With a little tug, I pulled her to me, one arm draped around her, and instantly got that whiff of her beautiful coconut scent. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and breathe her in.

“You haven’t been here,” she whispered, a croak in her voice. I could instantly smell the alcohol and it tore me up that she had been suffering on her own, drinking on her own. She should never get to that stage where the only comfort she had was at the bottom of a bottle.

But wasn’t that what I came for? Her destruction, her demise, her pain? Wasn’t that what I truly desired?

“I’m sorry,” I whispered back, and I truly meant it. I meant it more than she could ever know.

“But you’re here now,” she sighed, resolutely.

“Yes. I am here now.” I wrapped my arm around her more tightly.

“But for how long.”

Closing my eyes, I fought hard to keep the sigh that wanted to escape me inside. She wasn’t asking the question, she was merely stating the obvious. I came. I took. I fucked off. That was me wrapped up in one hell of a sick, fucked-up package.

“Do you want me to leave?” I had to ask. I had to know the answer to the burning question. She had been turning everyone away all week. Could she see it in her to do the same with me?

“No.” She whispered it so faintly, it would have been hard to hear if it wasn’t for the fact that I was expecting a yes or no. “Please stay.”

I sighed heavily and cradled her more tenderly in my arms. I knew this was what she wanted all along. In any other circumstance, I would have denied her, but I craved her just as much as she did me. Our relationship had turned twisted, but it had worked. I never thought it would ever come to this, but Tyler surprised me again and again.

So, I had to give her this. I had to show her any amount of comfort I could. She was suffering and had been turning down offers of support. I couldn’t see it in my heart to be the one that turned her down when she obviously needed me. It defied logic, but she needed me.

For a while, we lay there. For a moment, I thought she had fallen asleep. I was about to move when she suddenly turned to look at me. Without warning, she lifted her hand to my face and stroked my cheek. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and lean into her touch.

“Kiss me,” she whispered, making my eyes pop open again. “Please, just for today. Kiss me.”

I agonised with the word no playing on the edge of my tongue. I had to say it, for my own good as well as Tyler’s. But, for some reason, my tongue got stuck. It wouldn’t move and it just remained stoic as she stared at me with hope and desperation in her eyes.

So, without another thought, I leaned in. I placed my lips to hers and, instantly, I was lost to my Tyler, my angel, my girl whose window I used to crawl up to when I was just a young naïve boy. For some reason, kissing her felt so right. It felt as though I was coming home after a long stretch in hell. Her mouth was warm and familiar. Her lips so soft and smooth. Kissing Tyler had always felt like nothing else in the world mattered.

Hooked under Tyler’s spell, I manoeuvred myself on top of her. She never once stopped me. In fact, she parted her legs so that she could let me in. Biting her lip gently, I placed my hand at the bottom of her dress and pulled up. She was wearing lace panties today and, by fuck, they felt good on her.

Still kissing her, I grabbed her left thigh and squeezed with just enough force to make her moan. Her hands were underneath the back of my hoodie as she scratched my back from the top right down to my hips. I arched up, claiming her mouth again, more forcefully this time. As always, she let me take the lead as I pulled away and kissed her gently in the curve of her neck. Her breathing was hitched and as erratic as mine as my erection strained in my trousers. I had wanted her before, but not like this. This was more. This was somehow...real.

Positioning my groin on hers, I pushed a little, causing her to moan. It was almost an agonising moan, so full of desire, so full of need. With my head still at the base of her neck, I kissed along her chest until I reached the other side of her neck where I licked up towards her jawline.

“Dean…,” she whispered, her voice still filled with want.

I froze. I knew I heard her but, for some reason, I couldn’t move. After a few seconds, Tyler seemed to realise her blunder. She froze, too.

“Oh god. I’m so sorry,” she said, an edge of pain in her voice. “I’m not myself. I didn’t realise what I was saying.”

I didn’t want to listen anymore. Without another word, I got up. I couldn’t possibly stay after hearing her calling me by my name. Somehow, hearing it put things into perspective for me. This wasn’t what I came for. I didn’t come back to her for this. Certainly not for the reason she would think her Dean would come back for.

“Please, don’t leave me. Not tonight. I’m so sorry.”

I heard the pain in her voice, but I had to ignore it. I had to fight the ache coming from my head, my stomach, my heart. I couldn’t have a heart. I was a demon. Demons have black hearts, void of any emotion. Void of any compassion. Void of any love.

With my back to her, I faced the door, but I couldn’t move. I was rooted to the spot, unable to find motion. My head raged and roared inside me. I had to go, but I couldn’t.

You can’t leave her.

I had to. This wasn’t part of the deal. I had a score to settle and I settled it. I came here to say sorry and she called me by my name. If I stayed, she may see right through me. She may see what had become of her Dean…the boy who climbed up her window, the boy who loved her more than life itself.

So, I left. My feet began to move and I left her alone, crying on her bed. She needed me and I bolted.

Yes, I know. I was a fucking asshole. Had I ever promised I would be anything but?





Chapter 41



Tyler





Buckinghamshire, 2001





“Tyler, be ready in five minutes, please. We need to get going!” my mum shouted from downstairs.

“Okay, Mum!” I shouted back. “I’m just getting changed!”

I turned to Dean with a smile, but I was sad knowing he had to climb back out my window.

As if reading my mind, he sighed. “I guess I better be going, but I want to give you something before I do.” Dean looked serious for a moment, and I didn’t like him looking serious. It worried me.

“Okay,” I said, a little confused.

Reaching into his pocket, he handed me a silver locket with a set of angel wings. “I might be going away soon, and I don’t know how long it will be until I come back.”

Feeling a little apprehensive and teary about my best friend leaving, I shook my head. “You can’t leave. What about your home? What about Ian and me?”

Putting the chain around my neck, Dean leaned in and kissed me softly. It was the first time he had ever kissed me. I had just turned sixteen, Dean was eighteen, but I had known him for ten years now. You would think it would repulse someone after so long but, to me, it felt like fireworks were exploding inside of me. I had an ache I wished Dean would soothe away. It was a kiss I felt I had been waiting for all my life. His lips felt soft, his mouth warm. I had never kissed a guy before now as I had always been waiting for Dean. But it was finally here, and it was so worth the wait.

“I want you to have this,” he said, breaking away. “It was my Nan’s before she died. I want you to keep it so that you know I will come back.”

Shaking my head again, I felt a single tear fall. “I can’t take this, Dean. Not if it was your Nan’s.” Trying to take the chain back off my neck, I said, “Here, take it back, and then you can’t leave.”

Grabbing my hand, Dean shook his head. “No, Tyler. You take it. I’m not taking no for an answer.” Sighing heavily, Dean closed his eyes. “I want you to promise me something.”

“What?”

Opening his eyes back up again, Dean looked at me. “Promise me you will never lose this? Promise me you will never tell Ian what I said. And promise me you will wait for me.”

“I’ll never take this off my neck, Dean. I promise everything, but you can’t not tell Ian. It’s unfair.”

Taking my hand and squeezing it, Dean penetrated me with those steely blue eyes of his. “Please?” he said, an air of desperation in his voice.

With a sad sigh, I hung my head to the floor. “Okay, Dean. I promise.”

With one last soft, lingering kiss to my lips, he climbed out of my window…

And out of my life forever.



*****



That night he left me, I cried. I cried until my tears ran dry and all that was left was a messy heap on my bed. I fell asleep. I wasn’t sure what time that was, but I woke up the next morning, head pounding and stomach protesting. After throwing up, I ended up on the floor of my bathroom like a pathetic creature. As I was laying there, sweat forming at my brow, my mouth tasting of vomit, and my hair all lanky and greasy, I had an epiphany.

No more.

I wasn’t going to allow myself to get into this state no matter how much my heart tore in two. I had lost Jeremy and, now, I had lost my stranger. I knew, in the two weeks following that night, Lotus wouldn’t return.

And he never did.

I got myself up off the floor, took a shower, made myself eat something other than bloody Twiglets, and forced my mind and body to focus on the living. I had work to do, family to be with, friends to meet, and a future to build on. My future now involved a life without Jeremy, and a life without Lotus.

But I was prepared.

If he did return, I had a little surprise up my sleeve. I wasn’t going to let him go without making my demands. He had taken from me time and time again. Now it was my turn. Now I wanted to finally have the power.

I was ready for him.

I couldn’t let him take over my life anymore. For over three years, he had been in control. I wasn’t going to take it anymore. I had to be strong now. I had to show myself, as well as him, that my life was just that.

My life.

I went to back to work and my normal life, receiving sympathy from everyone. Of course, they all knew by now about Jeremy and me, but all I did was thank them. I didn’t want to discuss our situation. They were just people, after all. My only true friends were Ian and Louisa. They were both so supportive. They knew I was badly broken up by his passing, but they never once pushed me. They let me take the lead and mention him only when I was ready. Even if I did, they would wait to see if there was anything else I wanted to say about him before asking the odd question or two.

They had both come the last two Friday’s for Spaghetti Bolognaise night. I wanted to go back to normal—well, as normal as possible. It seemed that Louisa was now a part of that Friday night ritual of ours now. We had always made a pact that we would never lose touch. That, no matter what, we had to keep the Friday night ritual alive. Of course, it was okay to miss the odd Friday, but as long as we kept the following one, we would be okay. Our friendship could never be lost.

Today was Thursday and I was at work like normal. Andrew Walker was preoccupied, but he had been like that a lot lately. After what happened with Jeremy, he called me in to express his sincere condolences. With tears in my eyes, I thanked him, but I was determined not to cry now. I had to remain strong and focused. I had something else to zero my mind in on now. I had plans to make and research to do. It was what kept me going. As long as I could work on something, everything else can be pushed to the back of my mind. Jeremy was always going to be a part of me. He would never leave my head or my heart, but I had to have something else to keep me from breaking down.

I just had to move on.

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Ian asked, making me jump a little.

I nodded. “Yes, but Louisa can’t make it this time. She has a hot date with Pete, and they could only do it this Friday.”

Ian smiled down at me as I shifted a little in my seat. “That’s okay. I’ll get to have you all to myself then.”

I saw the glint in his eyes and rolled my own. “Don’t you ever stop?” I teased, knowing the answer to the question before he even spoke.

“You know me,” he said with a wink. “Besides, I think you need cheering up. I’ll bring my normal red and white, and I may even bring along a movie for us to watch. What do you think?”

I nodded with a smile. “That sounds great. I could use a good night with a good friend and a good movie.”

Slapping his knee, Ian stood up. “Well, that’s settled then. I may even bring a chick-flick. See, that’s how much I love you, Tyler.” He winked again and walked back to his desk.

Feeling a little better, I went back to work and carried on with my day. I had to leave early and needed to get everything done before I went. When five o’clock came around, I gathered everything I had and was walking towards the lift. With a sudden tug of my arm, Louisa stopped me. “Where are you going in such a hurry?” she asked with an eager smile.

“I’ve got to get to the hospital before six. I—” I realised what I said and my whole posture deflated. Tears pooled in my eyes as Louisa stood there, placing a sympathetic hand on my shoulder.

“I forgot. I’m so used to doing this every day that sometimes I forget he’s gone. Fuck, am I losing my mind?” I asked, my body leaning against the wall.

“Of course not,” Louisa abolished. “Tyler, you just lost someone very close to you. It’s only been three weeks. It’s going to take time to adjust to everything that’s happened.” Coming in closer to me, she whispered softly, “Listen, I know you don’t really need to leave right now, but maybe you should take some time for yourself. You’ve been rushed off your feet since you got back. No one will think anything different about you for it. Besides, I think you need to go eat something. You really look pale and you’ve lost a lot of weight. In fact, stay right here.” Louisa rushed off before I could ask her what the hell she was doing. Five minutes later, she came back with her bag and coat in her arms.

“What are you doing?” Louisa never left this early.

Pulling her coat on, she dragged me towards the lift doors. “I’m taking you to get something to eat, Tyler. I won’t have you looking like a skeleton. You’ve lost your natural lovely curves. I need to get those hips of yours pumped out again.” She smiled, giving me that cheeky grin of hers. I wasn’t hungry, but I also wasn’t going to argue with her.

Louisa took me to our local bistro, ordered me a burger—without my permission—and sat there watching me as I ate. She stated that she wasn’t going to leave until I ate every single morsel. So I sat there pushing every bite into my mouth until she was satisfied there was nothing left. I felt full and I felt sick, but at least, according to Louisa, I wasn’t pale anymore.

After the bill was paid, Louisa went back to work, and I got in my car and drove home. The clouds were gathering and the darker it got, the more the stench of rain stung my nose. I knew it was going to come down, and I knew I had to get home before the heavens opened. As I parked and got out of my car, a bolt of lightning suddenly streaked through the sky, making me jump. A few seconds later, an almighty boom sounded in my ears, prompting me to walk a little faster. I could feel the beginnings of rain pelting against my head as I clambered up the stairs towards the door to my building.

An elderly neighbour of mine was there and gave me a beaming smile. “I was wondering whether I should go out to the shops. I’m not so sure now,” he said, tipping his hat.

I shook my head. “I wouldn’t, if I were you. Maybe it’s one of those thunderstorms that leaves just as quickly as it came.” With that said, another bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, making us both duck a little at the same time. We laughed, but another boom sounded straight after.

“Yes,” he said, heading for the door. “I think I’ll go later.”

He insisted on holding the door open for me and I smiled as we both went in. I said goodbye and headed straight to my lift. For some reason, I had this sudden urge for Twiglets again. It was odd, considering I had never really eaten them before now. I smiled to myself, thinking Jeremy had really rubbed off on me. It still hurt, I still felt guilty, and I even spoke to him night after night, begging for his forgiveness for something I knew I didn’t do. It was silly, really, but I felt I needed to do it because I still couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling I had something to do with his death. Did Jeremy just give up? That was a question which would never be answered.

As I got settled at home, I went to the bathroom and noticed that my toilet paper had been turned around. I had to smile. He had been here today and this was his way of telling me.

But behind my smile lay an element of anger. In these last two weeks, I had time to think on our relationship—however strange it was. He left me when I needed him the most. I didn’t care about the circumstances. He abandoned me.

So, this was the reason behind my planning. I wasn’t going to give into him this time. No matter what he offered me, I couldn’t let him win.

As the evening progressed, my adrenaline kicked up a notch with the anticipation that Lotus would visit me tonight. And I knew he would. I knew this was his way of telling me he was coming. Whether it would end up being a mistake on his part remained to be seen. All I knew was that he was going to have a surprise in store once he did turn up.

Once it got to be after eleven, I quit watching television and went to work getting ready for bed. I slipped on a nightie, then slid my feet underneath my warm sheets. I stretched, yawning, feeling more tired than I’ve been in ages. I was determined not to go to sleep, though. I had to make sure I stayed up no matter what, even if it meant not getting any sleep at all.

About an hour or so passed and I started doubting whether Lotus would really show up. I couldn’t see why he wouldn’t after deliberately notifying me of his presence. It was at that moment I felt it…his presence. I could feel him and even smell his familiar musky scent before he even moved. I was in tune with it now. Always so ready for his visits.

Smiling, I threw the covers off me and bolted up in bed, shooting my arm out to turn on my bedside light. My stranger was faster, though, and grabbed my wrist before I could reach the light.

“Fuck!” I screamed, as my stranger straddled me, holding my wrists in a vice-like grip.

“Tyler, that was very naughty of you. Do I need to remind you of what happens to naughty girls like you?”

I wriggled underneath him, not wanting to let the divine smell of him take over. I couldn’t let him take over. “Fuck you!” I seethed. I was still angry and I held onto that anger as much as possible.

“Are you wanting to fight me today? Do you get off on playing the struggling female?”

The fucker thought I was playing a game? “I’m being serious, you asshole. You fucking left me. I needed you and you pissed off.”

I felt him gripping harder to my wrists and it made me cry out a little. “You called out another man’s name when we were kissing. What else do you think I would fucking do?”

“I don’t know. Maybe forgive me? Was it really so much for me to ask when you knew for a fact I wasn’t myself? And don’t pretend you don’t know. I lost someone! I had just fucking buried someone close to me and you weren’t there!”

Shaking the bed a little, my stranger growled. “What the fuck do you want from me, Tyler? What do you want?!”

“I want you! I want you to want me. I want to know who you are. Tell me!” I could feel the tears forming, but I was determined not to let them fall. I wouldn’t let him reduce me to that.

“No!” he growled again.

“Who are you?!” I shouted, knowing that he was quickly losing his resolve. I could hear it in his voice and feel it through his grip.

“Don’t ask me that question!”

“Who are you?!” I screamed again, almost spitting in his direction. I didn’t care if I was. I was too angry and had too much pent up frustration over this faceless man. I had to know. I had to see it for myself.

“Stop asking!” he shouted back, and I knew I could break him. I knew I could finally crack his cool resolve.

“Who the fuck are you?!” I shouted again, feeling the tension rise throughout my body.

My stranger, my Lotus, still had my arms pinned to the bed so I couldn’t move. “I am the man of your dreams, and your worst fucking nightmare. I am the one from whom you will never escape. I will always be there, always be haunting your dreams and you’re every fucking waking moment.”

I struggled again, but he was too strong. I couldn’t understand why he was so tender one moment, so rotten the next. He warned me that he was a demon, but I could never believe that he was. It seemed like he wanted to hurt me, but I couldn’t understand why.

“Don’t struggle, Tyler. You will never win. I always fucking win.”

I knew he was right, but I wasn’t going to back down. I saw my moment to hurt him, and struck. I raised my knee and hit him right where it hurts. He soon rolled off, doubling over in pain. It would seem he was just a man after all.

“Get out!” I screamed, pointing to the door. I thought he would argue. I thought he would retaliate in some way, but he surprised me. He picked himself up off the floor and headed towards the door. He stood motionless in the doorframe. The only thing I could see was the outline of his silhouette in that hoodie I had come to know and love. The mysterious man I had come to know and love.

“This isn’t over,” he finally stated in a raspy voice.

I should have said something. I should have moved, but I was stuck to the bed as I watched him leave my apartment. I sat there and listened as the door clicked, notifying me he was gone. As usual, I did my thing and searched through the apartment to make sure he did, in fact, leave.

At that moment, I wanted to cry. I wanted to mourn the loss of my stranger who had been such a huge part of my life for so long. After all this time of becoming complacent with him, I never realized he was, in fact, out to hurt me. But why? What had I done that was so wrong, it was worth stalking me all these years, messing up my apartment, and giving me the best sex I would ever have? And I knew he was right about that. Now that I tasted him, nobody would ever compare. But now I knew he did this just so he could hurt me. But hurt me for what reason?

With those thoughts running around in my head, I went to bed and planned what I was going to do next. I needed to think and I needed to think quickly. Lotus left, but before he went, he left me with the knowledge I hadn’t seen the last of him. I had to act. For a change, I had to be in control. It was my turn now. And I was determined to give him the shock of his life.





Chapter 42





I knew it was getting closer to that time. That was why I had to act. I had to get that fucking bastard Dean out of the way. He had been rubbing it in ever since that first day of school, but I wasn’t going to let him get past me now. I knew things. I knew a lot of things. I had friends who knew people, and it was that which sparked my plan into action. I had to get rid of him, but in order to do that, I had to somehow get rid of his parents. So, clutching the letter in my hand, I walked towards the post box. I knew once that letter slipped through the hole, everything would change. Dean would change, Tyler would change, but it had to be done. To get him the fuck out of Tyler’s life, it had to be done. No doubt, he would eventually find out about this letter and then, in turn, he would find out what Tyler had done. Or, shall I say, what she’s supposed to have done?

I had thought about it long and hard. I wondered for a while whether this might somehow put Tyler in danger. I didn’t think so. Dean was many things, but he would never hurt Tyler—no matter how much he thought she had hurt him.

With my mind made up, I stepped forward a little more and placed the letter at the mouth of the post box. Breathing in deeply, I let my fingers loosen and the letter fall from my grip. As I exhaled with a contented sigh, I smiled.

Let the chips fall where they may.





Chapter 43



Tyler





The next day, I went into work and set about my normal tasks. But beneath my normal front at work, I researched. I used my full resources to my advantage and took back control of my life. The other thing I did at work was observe. I observed everybody. I did it in a way they couldn’t see I was spying on them. It was amazing what you picked up on at work once you just stepped back and took notice. Brandy, to my left, bit her lip when she looked confused or lost. Thomas, to my right, picked his nose—quite a lot. Eww. Louisa, to my far right, played with her hair when she read, and Ian, to my far left, frowned when he typed.

It was at that moment, while I was staring at him, that he looked up and smiled. He held his finger up to me for me to wait a second, so I did. I watched as he typed something, then a ping on my phone notified me of a new message.



Are we still on for tonight? It’s Spaghetti Bolognaise night. :)



I chuckled and looked up at Ian with a smile. I raised my thumb to him to let him know that it was still on, then got back to work. I carried on with my research, looking up Lotus first. There must be some significance to this name. I knew that wasn’t what he was really called. I typed it in the search engine and the first thing that came up was the Lotus cars. I knew that couldn’t be any significance, so I carried on scrolling. It was only when I reached the bottom that I noticed another suggestion for a search. I clicked on “Lotus Flower Meaning” and read its significance. It seemed that the lotus flower bloomed from murky waters, just like my stranger had said. It was a symbol of rebirth, desire, and spiritual enlightenment. Still none the wiser, I typed in “Lotus Flower Revenge”, and what came up was very interesting. It would seem that, in Buddhism, the lotus flower was a symbol of cause-and-effect. A live symbol of karma in action. It seemed he lived so much for revenge that not only did he wear its symbol on his shoulder, he also called himself by the flower’s name.

Sitting back in my chair, I pondered this for a moment. So my stranger was, in fact, out to harm me. But why? It was then that a little voice inside my head told me to be careful. The bouncer at the club warned me that he was dangerous. I knew he was. I just didn’t realise just how much he meant to my heart.

Determined to find out more, I strived on for more information. I didn’t care if I ended up late at work because of it. I needed to know why the man of my dreams had suddenly become my worst nightmare. If there was one thing I had always been good at, it was research. You had to in this line of work, and now I was using it to my full advantage.

In my three hours of virtually non-stop Lotus homework, I found out quite a lot. My heart thumped and my head hurt with knowledge, but it was nowhere near how much my heart was hurting now. It wasn’t a dream I had the other night when I thought Dean was holding me in his arms and caressing my necklace. It was real. My stranger was real. In fact, he even owned the apartment block I stayed in. It was in another name, but I knew it was him. My stranger wasn’t a stranger at all.

He was my long-lost love, Dean. And I knew just where I could find him.



*****



It was just after six when I finally left work. I had somewhere to go, but I also had to wait a little while until I could go where I needed to. In an effort to pass the time, I looked around the shops, looking at all the sales, but not really taking any of it in. I was too consumed with the knowledge that my Dean was back, but he was out to hurt me. My heart drowned in a sea of despair. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was I had done. But I was determined to figure it out, one way or the other. I had to find him and look him in the eye so he could tell me face-to-face what I had done so wrong that it warranted him breaking me apart. And I did feel broken apart. Dean had always been the love of my life. For years, I kept that image of him as that cheeky, skinny, tall boy who wanted nothing more than to make me happy. What happened to that boy? What turned him against me so fiercely?

Shaking my head, I looked around and only then remembered Ian was coming around later. Fishing out my phone, I texted Ian to let him know I was running late, and that I should be back at around eight-thirty. I had a task to complete and the anticipation was running through my veins.

When it got closer to eight, I thought it was now or never. I didn’t know whether Dean would be there, but I had to see for myself. I had to at least find out more, if I could.

I walked into the building, passing by the odd person or two leaving their offices for the day. I got in the lift, alone, and pressed the top floor. It was the worst elevator ride I had ever experienced. It seemed to go on and on with no end in sight. I wondered whether my Dean would be the same. The thought frightened me. What if he was determined never to set me free?

With that thought coursing through my pumping veins, the lift doors opened, revealing a dim room. All the lights were off, apart from the dim overhead ones—some of which were flickering a little. It just seemed to somehow add to the suspense.

My heart drumming, I walked past the vast array of desks towards the one room I had been dreading and longing to visit all day.

I stood outside, realizing there was a shadow in the darkened room, looking across the horizon. Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath, realizing it was now or never. I opened my eyes to meet the name on the door. My stalker, my stranger, my Dean, was none other than Andrew Walker. And now he stood in the shadows, hoodie over his head, and I knew just where he was planning on going tonight.

But I beat him to it. I had become the stalker and my stranger, the unsuspecting victim. It made me laugh a little, knowing I had regained some power. I wondered what he would think once he saw me here now. I knew he would be shocked, but for me, it was all about answers. I needed answers as to why he wanted to hurt me so badly.

Turning the knob as quietly as I could, I entered the room and stood staring at the back of my Dean. Tears threatened to run at the thought I had finally found him, only for him to be ripped from me once again.

I was still determined, though. I was still resolute in seeing this through without a tear, without my despair. I couldn’t let him see that he had won. I had to hold onto my dignity with all my might.

For a long time, I stood there, speechless. At first, I didn’t know if I should say anything, or just let him take his time before he turned around. I didn’t have to wait too long. He turned, and the hint of those steely blue eyes I remembered as a kid locked onto me with a force unknown to nature. It was him at the mansion. The man who stole my breath away. Why did I not see that it was him at the time? How could I have ever forgotten those beautiful eyes of his?

Trying not to think too much on it, I just took the moment of silence to gauge his reaction. He was good at hiding things, I’d give him that. I still saw it, though…the surprised look on his face when he saw me. It was ever so slight, but it was there nonetheless. It almost made me smile. I wasn’t sure where this little bit of triumph in me came from, but it was there, bubbling away on the surface.

“Surprised to see me, Dean?” I thought I would end up breaking the ice, considering he was always the one that ended up getting the first and last word in.

Dean sighed and shook his head with a resolute smile. “So, now you know,” he whispered with that sexy, raspy voice of his.

I nodded my head. “Now I know.”

He pushed the hoodie off his head, exposing the full beauty of his features. He was exactly as I remembered as a youngster, just older. He was very different in a sense, too. His normally soft nature was gone now, replaced with this hard, unforgiving man in front of me. But what was there to forgive? I just couldn’t understand it all.

“I must admit, this wasn’t how I had planned things, but you were destined to find out soon enough.”

He pulled out his chair and sat down. I knew then that he was ready for a conversation. I wasn’t going to say no, but I was determined not to settle in the chair opposite him, either. This wasn’t about my work anymore. This was idle chitchat about the day’s events. This was my stranger, my Dean, and he was determined to break me. I certainly wasn’t going to cosy up to that.

Instead, I stood still, gazing down at his beautiful blue eyes like it was the last time I would ever see them. And this would be the last time. I knew this was the day that determined my fate as a journalist here. I knew this was the last day I would ever see the light of day in this office again.

“Why?” was all I could ask. It was all that needed to be asked. That same question had been bouncing around in my head for the last thirteen years. Until last night, it was for different reasons, but I still asked it. I still wanted to know why me.

He dipped his head, sighing with a smile. “You know, the funniest part about this whole thing is that you don’t even know what you’ve done.”

My anger flared. “I don’t know what I’ve done, Dean, and unless you fucking tell me, how am I supposed to defend myself?”

He banged his fist on the desk, making me jump. “You don’t come in this office and swear at me like that.”

I breathed out my frustration before I responded. “I’m not talking to Andrew Walker anymore. I’m talking to Dean Scozzari. Someone I had considered my best friend once. Someone I had considered the love of my life once. My first love. What happened to him?”

He stood up, eyes blazing with fire. “You happened, Tyler! You and your whole fucking family happened!”

I gasped, rearing back in shock at his outburst. “My family? I don’t understand.”

Dean’s expression was fierce. “Don’t act like you don’t know, Tyler.” He looked at me, his expression searching my face for answers. But he must have seen something in my face as his eyes widened. “You really don’t know, do you?” He started laughing, and it just made my blood boil.

“Know what, Dean?”

He stopped laughing and looked at me with a smile. It wasn’t a nice smile. It was cunning. And I wanted to wipe it off his face. “Your parents got my parents killed, Tyler. They were supposed to help but, instead, they sent a letter to that fucking scumbag Pinzano, telling him where we were.”

I shook my head, unable to comprehend what he was saying. “Letter? What letter? I don’t understand.” I really didn’t understand. Panic was radiating through my body.

“My parents are dead because of your mum and dad, Tyler. And I was left alone. At the age of eighteen, I was left with nobody. At first, I lost you when I found you kissing Ian that fucking day. I came back for you because I thought in my stupid, little immature head, we still had something. I didn’t care if it put me in danger. I had to see you and I had to make sure we were okay. I didn’t believe when I heard you could have anything to do with what happened to my parents, so I had to see it for myself. But the minute I saw you, Ian had his arms around you and you were kissing him. I had only been gone a couple of months, and the moment my back was turned, you went to be with him. I knew then that my parents must have been right all along.” He looked at me with disgust, but all I could stand there and do was try and wrap my brain around what on earth he was talking about. I knew Ian and I have fooled around, but it was never anything more than that.

I thought back to all those years and remembered a time shortly after Dean disappeared. Ian was telling me outside this shop that this guy he despised said he would never get a girl like me. This guy, who was a complete arsehole, was there, so Ian asked me to kiss him in full view of everyone so he could witness the kiss and end up looking like the dumb ass that he was. I did it as a favour to Ian. I did it because that’s what friends do for one another. I had never felt anything for Ian, other than friendship, and Dean should have known this.

I closed my eyes in frustration. If this was the incident he was thinking of, it was totally innocent. Yes, I kissed him, but it was only to help out a friend. We were all friends back then. We were all close. We would have helped each other out through thick and thin. We even used to play Truth or Dare on occasion. Could he not realise that was what it was at the time? Could he not have just stopped for one fucking minute to ask?

“You don’t understand,” I blurted. I wasn’t sure why I needed to explain myself. Dean was obviously shooting first and asking questions later, and that was fine. He would only see for himself eventually.

“I understand perfectly,” he retorted, cutting me off. “What I don’t understand is why you’re not with him yet? You’re with him, but you’re not. Do you two just fuck each other? Actually, hold on. No, I would know if you had. I’ve known your life for too long now.” He sat there and pondered his next question for a minute. “Let me put it another way. Did you let him fuck you the minute I was gone?” He started laughing at his own joke before shaking his head. “In fact, scrap that. I know you didn’t.”

He was being crass and he knew it. Every breath in my body wanted to scream out in protest of this man. I had an explanation for my actions, but he didn’t want to hear it. He was blaming me for something I never did, but he was also blaming my parents for his mum and dad’s death. Nobody knew that they were even gone. My whole family, Ian, and I were completely left in the dark. I couldn’t understand how he could begin to think my parents could ever be directly, or even indirectly, involved in their murder. And I did mean murder. I wasn’t stupid. I had a feeling his parents were up to no good. They were always sneaking around, always making sure I never came around at certain times, and they were always talking to people that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I never said anything because I loved Dean and I didn’t want him to hurt, but I wasn’t completely clueless to their way of life. They never seemed to go to work, yet they had the latest fashion, cars, accessories, you name it. It didn’t take a genius to work out what was going on.

“I’m not going to answer your fucking stupid questions anymore because, no matter what I say, you’re going to twist it around so it fits whatever morbid notion you have going around that sick head of yours. All I will say is that my parents had nothing to do with your mum and dad’s death. I had nothing to do with your mum and dad’s death. I didn’t know and I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m not going to stick around any longer and let you abuse me and accuse my family and me of such ridiculous allegations.”

Dean laughed and it made my blood boil even further. “Maybe you just don’t know your parents as well as I do, Tyler. They obviously kept things from you. They tried and failed to keep me away from you. But, even still, you couldn’t seem to keep that mouth shut of yours about me. That’s what led to their death, Tyler.”

I huffed out my frustration. “I never told them anything!” I shouted. “I didn’t fucking know anything. I know my parents never liked us together, Dean, but they would never have been so vindictive. They would never have put your parents in harm’s way. There is no way in hell I will believe that. They were just trying to protect me from you. They were just making sure you never took advantage of me.”

Dean laughed. “They couldn’t keep you away from me forever, Tyler. You want to know how I know you never fucked Ian once I left? I took advantage of your innocence long before you, or they, could realise.”

Frowning, I couldn’t fathom what he was talking about. “What do you mean?”

Dean shook his head with a smile. “Remember when you were eighteen and, at a party, you told a boy named Dillon you were still a virgin?”

Throwing my hand over my mouth, I gasped. Shaking my head, I could almost feel the tears pooling in my eyes. “No…,” I protested.

“Yes,” Dean replied. “You always wanted me to be your first, Tyler. I was just granting that one wish for you—”

“What?” I interrupted. “Before you came back, stalked me, and tried to ruin my life?”

Dean nodded. “Something like that. I was out to ruin you, yes, but only because of what you did. I could have given you the world, but all you did was shit on me.”

I had enough. I wasn’t going to stand here and listen to this any longer. “Goodbye, Dean. I hope I never fucking see you again.”

Dean banged the desk again but, this time, I didn’t jump. I was determined to not let him affect me. “Get back here, Tyler. You and I aren’t fucking done yet.”

I walked towards the door and was on my way out when I suddenly turned. “We are fucking done, Dean. This is where it ends. I never want to see you again.” I turned around to walk towards the lifts when I remembered something. “And another thing,” I said, turning my head a little. “I quit!”

With my head held high, I marched towards the lift and got in. There was probably hardly anyone in the building by now.

When it got to the bottom floor, I walked out with a sigh. I knew I was strong back there, but it took everything in my willpower to hold it together. My first love, the one I thought I would spend my life with as we got older, had turned from my superhero into my villain. How on earth could it have turned out this way? He didn’t even think to stop and ask questions. He just assumed, and I knew that the word “assume” made an ass out of you and me. I laughed a little at that analogy. I had made an ass out of myself. I had let Dean in, my stranger, when he was just there to hurt me. All the while, he was there to cause me pain. But the crux of the whole thing was that Dean was my first in the end. He was determined to take my virginity and hold onto that as the first part of his revenge—the first part to ruining my life.

He was never like this when he was younger. He was innocent, carefree, sweet, and caring. Thinking that my parents or I could have been involved in his demise made my skin crawl. I couldn’t even believe he thought I would betray him like that. He was the love of my life. Even now, the memory of him held strong. He would always be the love of my life. No matter how much I hurt, I would never be able to escape that. I would never be able to escape him.

Without thinking, my hand immediately sought out the necklace he had given me all those years ago. It was something I had always wanted to keep with me just to cling onto him somehow. I had always hoped that, one day, he would return, but I never envisioned it would be like this. Subconsciously, I had even broken off relationships because I had this silly notion that, one day, my Dean would come by on his white horse and whisk me off into the sunset. I guess life had a funny way of showing that it had a sense of humour. Dean wanted to make his point, and he certainly made it with a fucking cherry on top.

It was the daydreaming in the car that stopped me from realizing I was nearing the turn to my apartment. I had driven all the way back from work without even noticing. How on earth did that happen?

I indicated left to turn into my car park and parked my car in my spot. I was determined to not let him win, even now. Walking into my apartment, I had barely enough time to get my coat off and place my things down when the doorbell rang.

Sighing, I reached for the door and opened it a crack. I saw Ian standing there with a big smile and two bottles of wine: one red, one white. Shit, in my haze, I had completely forgotten all about Ian coming over.

Undoing the latch, I opened to door to find Ian inhaling, then his face fell. “Hold up a sec. Why can’t I smell the distinct aroma of Spaghetti Bolognaise?” Ian turned his head to catch my eyes and when he did, his smile disappeared. “What’s wrong?” He walked in and I closed the door. What was I going to tell him? I suppose everything, now that this had happened tonight. Ian was just as big a part of Dean’s life as I was, so I had to tell him he was here at least. Not only that. We had both been working for him for the past three years. With that, amongst other thoughts whirling around in my head, I motioned towards the sofa.

“I think you need to sit down,” I suggested with a half-smile. I really didn’t know how I was going to tell him, but I knew I had to try.

Ian gulped a little, but did as he was told. “You’re frightening me,” he finally said, reaching the sofa and sat down. I sat down next to him and took a deep breath. I wasn’t sure where to begin, so I started from the beginning. I told him all about my stranger, the things he did around the house, unwittingly knowing it was Dean all along. The only part I left out was what he told me about my parents. I would elaborate if he asked, but I was too drained to carry on once I had finished.

After I told him that Andrew Walker was Dean all along, Ian sat there, dazed for a moment. “Shit, Tyler,” he finally spluttered in disbelief. “I can’t believe he did that.”

I shook my head. “Me, either.”

Ian’s face was a picture. You could tell he was shocked and you could tell he must have had a million questions flying around his head. We were all such good friends. We shared everything together. Our hopes and dreams, even our darkest fantasies.

Once Ian calmed down a little, he saw my defeated stare and motioned me over. “Come here. Let me give you a cuddle and a good old-fashioned massage to help you unwind. You’re never alone with your best friend. I was always there for you.”

I smiled and manoeuvred myself into Ian’s arms. He gave me a warm hug, then pulled me up so he could massage my shoulders.

I moaned my appreciation. “Thanks, Ian. You’ve always been a true friend.”

“A true friend who is determined to get into your knickers by the time we reach thirty.”

I chuckled at his running joke, but I wasn’t really in the joking mood tonight. “I’m sorry about the Bolognaise, Ian. Maybe we could get takeout instead?” He rubbed some more, showing me his support.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Just sit back, relax, drink some wine, and we’ll order something once you’ve calmed a little. Your shoulders are so tense.”

I shut my eyes, murmuring “Thank you” as I let him carry on rubbing my shoulders. I was beginning to relax. Today was still coursing through me, but it was easing a little bit now that I had Ian here to support me. Even though I never had Dean, Ian was the one true friend I counted on through thick and thin. He had always been there for me as much as I hoped I had been there for him.

“I can’t believe he blamed your parents for all of this.”

I immediately tensed and snapped my eyes open. Noticing my change, Ian stopped rubbing my shoulders. “I didn’t tell you the part about my parents.” I breathed a little heavily and felt my heart thump with adrenaline.

I heard him sigh and felt his arms drop down from my shoulders. I turned towards him for an explanation, but all I could see was a man who had been caught. For what, I didn’t know, but I was about to find out.

“Ian, what are you not telling me?”

He stared at me for a moment, his eyes unblinking. In the end, he knew he had to say something. “For years, we had been together and, for years, you had always picked him over me.”

Shaking my head, I shot out of my seat, tears in my eyes. I couldn’t believe where this was heading. Was Ian playing me this whole time as much as Dean was?

Ian held out his hand in a calming gesture. “Please, hear me out. You need to know how I feel, Tyler. You must have known. You must have sensed how much I’ve loved you all this time.”

I shook my head again, wanting so much for all of this to go away. I needed to know, but my head and heart screamed in agony at the loss of my two best friends. The ones who had been betraying me all these years, not the other way around. This feeling, above all, sent my heart into a tailspin. If I thought I was broken before, I was wrong. Now I’m completely crushed into little pieces. How could anyone recover from this?

“I knew Dean’s parents were trouble. I knew that, eventually, Dean would be embroiled in that trouble. I had to save you from that, Tyler. I had to save you from him.”

“You sent the letter, didn’t you?” I asked, dumbfounded.

Ian’s eyes went wide with shock as he realised I knew, then he dipped his head down with a nod. “Yes, but I only did it so that they would have to flee. I knew once I got the word out that someone was after them, Dean’s mum and dad would be off. I just thought they would go and we would never see them again.”

“But why does Dean think my parents are involved? Why does he think I’m somehow involved?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess because they were involved in their case.”

I shook my head. “That’s bullshit and you and I both know it. What did the letter say, Ian?” Shaking his head, Ian dipped his eyes to the floor momentarily, trying to open his mouth. I was quick to stop him, though. “Ian, don’t you dare fucking bullshit me. Just tell me the truth!”

Ian sighed and stared up at me. His friendly eyes I came to love dearly were not there anyone. They were lost forever. “I wrote a letter pretending to be your parents. I wanted to make sure it got into the wrong hands. Or, let’s just say, the right hands.”

Tears pooled my eyes. “I can’t believe you would do that to me, Ian. And why does he think I had something to do with it?”

Ian gritted his teeth. “I had to make sure Dean would never come back.”

Closing my eyes, I tried in vain to keep my anger in check. “Why, Ian? Tell me!”

“Because it said in the letter that you told them everything about Dean’s family. It said they were worried about you and didn’t want you mixing in with them. I was only speaking the truth. I was doing your parents a favour.”

I shook my head, unable to comprehend how he could have done this. “By implicating them and putting them in danger? By implicating me?” I suddenly started pacing the room. It was quickly caving in on me and I needed to feel I had space to move.

“You and your family were never in danger, Tyler. I knew Dean would never hurt you, no matter what he found out.”

I snapped my head to him and glared into his eyes. “You see, Ian, that’s where you’re wrong. He has hurt me. He’s hurt me so badly that it’s irreversible now. He wanted me broken, and he’s achieved his goal. I will never heal from what he’s done to me. I will never heal from what you’ve done to me.”

Ian’s eyes glazed over as he shook his head. “No. I can fix this, Tyler. I can make it so you’ll never have to worry about a thing again. I love you. Your parents never wanted you with him and you know it. You were always supposed to be with me.”

Bile rose in my throat at the thought that Ian orchestrated this whole thing to get Dean out of my life. The word “devastated” didn’t even come close to how I felt now.

Suddenly, Ian stood up and made a gesture to come towards me. I backed away, realizing then that I had been scared of the wrong person. It wasn’t only Dean who was a deviant. It was Ian, too. But Ian was worse. His actions were based solely upon his own selfish needs.

“Tyler, come on. It’s me you’re talking to here. I would never hurt you.”

My heart drummed, knowing for a fact that lies were spilling from his mouth. “Did you know that Dean was watching that day?” The words came out of me naturally. If he had gone far enough to get Dean’s whole family away from me, who was to say just how far he would have gone.

He sighed again, shaking his head. “I knew he would have come back for you. I thought it would have been longer, but when a friend of mine told me he was in town, I had to act before it was too late. I couldn’t put you in danger like that, Tyler. He needed to be out of your life forever.”

The anger erupted as I eased back from him. “Who are you to decide who gets to be in my life or not? You knew just how much Dean meant to me. I thought he meant something to you, too, but I was obviously wrong.”

It was only when I got close to the door of my bedroom that I realized just how far I had walked backwards. But Ian was still so close. He must have been edging towards me all this time. Looking over my shoulder, I peered into my bedroom as my heart thumped. There seemed to be no escape. Maybe if I dodged him, I would be able to bolt for the door before he could catch up to me.

Looking back at Ian, he saw the hesitation in my eyes before I sprinted. It was too late, though. He was on me in an instant, dragging me back to the bedroom. “Don’t fight me, Tyler. I’m not here to hurt you.”

Screaming, I raised my arm and elbowed him in the ribs as hard as I could. He doubled over in pain, giving me that little bit of time to get away. Unfortunately, I wasn’t fast enough. He grabbed me from behind, placing a hand over my mouth as he dragged me to my bed. With one quick tug, he threw me onto the bed and held my arms above me in a vice-like grip.

“Do you want me to tie you up and fuck your brains out like Dean did? Do you want to be abused and taken against your will? Is that what you get kick out of, Tyler? I certainly wouldn’t mind obliging.”

I inhaled a deep breath, ready to launch my anger at him. I was no longer afraid. I was hopping mad. “Fuck you,” I seethed through my teeth, trying desperately to break free from him.

His lips were on me within a flash, delving his tongue into my mouth. He was so fierce, so determined, I could feel the metallic taste of my own blood in my mouth.

He broke the kiss, easing back to look at my face. I tried in vain to break free, but he was strong. Stronger than I always thought him to be.

“I always knew you had a dark side to you, Tyler. I think I like it.” He pressed his erection into me to emphasize his point. “Maybe if I just took you without your permission, it would make you want me like you want him. What if I just fucked you hard and fast until you came all around me. Would you then choose me over him?”

I wriggled and fought, but it was no use. “Get off me!” I screamed, knowing full well he wasn’t going to let me go.

He dived his head down again to kiss me, but this time I tuned my head to the side. Ian smiled down at me. “So, this is how you want to play it?”

Holding both my wrists with one hand, Ian pulled something out of his trouser pocket. The minute I saw the rope, I screamed, trying to kick and wriggle with all my might.

“Ah, Tyler. You know you want this.” He wound the rope around my wrists and tied one end to the bed. Once he was finished, he looked down at me with a heated desire I had never seen on him. I didn’t know who was sicker. Me, for letting this situation go on for so long, or Ian, for thinking this was the lifestyle I truly wanted. I could see it in his eyes. He actually believed that if he raped me, like he thought Dean did, I would want him. What he didn’t realise was I had always wanted my stranger because he was Dean. I had never wanted anyone but Dean.

With that thought in my head, I screamed again, only to have Ian cup a hand around my mouth. With one quick tug, he ripped my knickers from me, and I could feel him desperately trying to get his trousers undone.

I lay there, tears pooling in my eyes, knowing what the person I always considered my best friend was about to do to me. I locked onto Ian’s determined eyes and tried to shake my head. He needed to know I didn’t want this. I never wanted this. I never wanted him.

It didn’t get me anywhere. Ian was obviously too overcome with need to care about what I wanted anymore. So I lay there, waiting for him to start so he would just get it over with. There was nothing I could do to escape, so I just accepted my fate and closed my eyes, waiting.

It was a sound that alerted me to something in the room. I snapped my eyes open to see Dean standing there, hovering over Ian. He saw the desperation in my eyes, and I could see the anger in his. With a quick hold of Ian’s head, Dean snapped his neck. Ian flopped onto me and I was screaming at Dean to get him off. He acted quickly, shoving him aside, and taking his place. With a hand on my mouth, he gently shushed me. The panic that had risen in me a second ago slowly subsided. Dean was not here to hurt me. He never was.

Once he knew I was calmer, he untied my wrists and held me in his arms until my breathing calmed.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t get here quicker,” he said, stroking my hair.

It was then that I sobbed. It was then that I broke down and mourned the loss of everyone I thought was dear to me. Dean, Jeremy, and now Ian.

“I never betrayed you,” I whispered into his chest.

I felt him hug me tighter as his hold calmed me into a false sense of security. “That doesn’t matter now. We can discuss this later. First, I have to take care of him. I will come back for you, but I need to take his body somewhere it will never be found. Do you understand?”

I nodded, but fear tore at my heart. Dean was powerful. I knew that now. He had taken his parents power and used it for his own advantage. But what now? What happens between us now? All of it seemed frightening beyond words.

He manoeuvred himself off me and cupped my face in his hands. He laid a gentle kiss to my forehead and smiled down at me. “I will be back as soon as I can, okay? I need to call someone first.” He scrambled off me and opened up his phone. He walked out into my living room, leaving me with Ian’s dead body. I daren’t look his way. I daren’t see the lifeless look that was in his eyes now.

I could hear Dean telling someone to meet him on the second fire exit of his building. It was then I realized he must have used a secret entryway in and out of my apartment block. No wonder he was so good at what he did.

I heard the sound of his phone flip down as he waltzed back into my room. I noticed him look down at Ian as if he was just like any other dead body he had ever seen before. That thought chilled me to the bone.

“I’m going to take this piece of shit out towards the front door.”

I nodded. “I think that would be a good idea.” I couldn’t move, and I think he sensed my apprehension.

With a smile, I heard him pull Ian across the floor. I turned over, not wanting to see what he was doing. I had shut down, wanting to protect myself. I didn’t want this. I didn’t ask for this, and I certainly didn’t want to live like this anymore.

It was around ten minutes later that Dean came back into my room and tugged on my shoulder. “I’m going to head out now. I may be a couple of hours, but I promise I will be back. Are you going to be okay?”

I nodded and heard him leave the apartment. The minute he was gone, I was out of my bed, grabbing a suitcase, and throwing everything I could think of in there. I sat down, wrote a quick letter, discarded my ripped knickers, and gathered all my belongings.

As I raced down to my car, I quickly called my mother and told her I needed her help. I quickly relayed bits and pieces over the phone and she told me she would make all the arrangements.

I scrambled to get everything in, got in my car, and sped away as quickly as I could. It was awkward at first, as I had to reverse out. You can never get away quickly when reversing. Damn you, Dean!

I drove the half-hour or so to my parents’ house and got out as quickly as I could to knock on the door.

“Dear God, Tyler. Are you okay?” my mum asked as I walked through the door.

“I am now, but I need to get away, Mum. I can’t deal with this right now.”

My mum pulled me into her arms and gently stroked my hair. “It’s okay, Tyler. I’ve arranged everything. There’s no need to be afraid anymore. We will sort it all out.”

Pulling out of our embrace, I looked at my mother. “He said you and dad ratted out his parents. He said you were the reason they are now dead. But it was Ian all along. He sent a letter, which was supposed to be from you, telling them I had told you everything about them and that you were worried about me.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “I can’t believe he would do that. I knew word got out that a rival family, a bit higher than Dean’s mum and dad, were going to kill them off in a bid to stop them taking over in the future. They came to us because they were fearful for Dean’s life. They wanted revenge but, ultimately, they could see it would mean putting their son’s life in jeopardy. They were going to cut a deal, exchanging information for protection. Obviously, they weren’t protected enough. They still found them in the end. Luckily, Dean wasn’t there when it happened. I heard he was upset and ran off. They went looking for him and that’s when it happened.”

A twinge of guilt washed over me, thinking maybe he was upset over me and that caused him to flee. If it wasn’t for that, maybe his parents would still be alive.

“Why didn’t you tell me all this?”

My mother sighed. “Because it wasn’t my business to tell. Client confidentiality and all that. Besides, I wanted to protect you. I didn’t want you to get embroiled in all the mess.”

I could feel the anger rising a little. “Mum, that wasn’t for you to decide. You knew how much Dean meant to me.”

She nodded and grabbed my shoulders. “Yes, but your well-being was my only concern. I was only doing what a caring mother would do in order to protect her daughter. I didn’t tell you simply to keep you safe. Ian thought it was for the best. He even suggested we not tell you anything.” My mother shuddered a little, now realising that he was secretly playing everyone.

My stomach twisted, remembering the events that took place tonight. Now Ian was dead, and I was left feeling an absolute devastating loss for something I never even had. What are friends for if you couldn’t even trust them? I was determined now that I would never let anyone in like that again. Jeremy was right to think the way he did. Everyone just shit on you in the end. I was never going to trust anybody ever again.

“Did you not think to ask how Ian knew all about it himself?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I assumed he knew because he was friends with Dean. I just assumed Dean had told him everything.”

I laughed. There was that word again. Lately, it was fucking up everybody’s lives.

Shaking my head, I looked into my mother’s eyes. “I could ask more, but I don’t think we have a lot of time. Can we go now?”

My mother nodded and called for my father to get off the phone and come down so we could go. “Your father has been on the phone all night, trying to sort everything out,” she explained. I nodded, but that was all. After everything that had transpired tonight, I was just itching to get away…and fast.

“Hey, Dad,” I said, watching as he appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey, pumpkin,” he answered, taking me in his arms. “I’m so sorry you’ve been through all this alone. Why didn’t you tell us you were being stalked?”

I shrugged, not really wanting to get into this right now. My mother could tell I wasn’t in the mood, so she turned to my dad. “Look, Derren, I don’t think she really wants to get into this right now. Let’s just get her away, then we’ll talk about it all later when we have time.”

I nodded with a smile and we headed out the door as quickly as possible.

It felt strange seeking help from my parents. I had always took pride in trying to go it alone and do my own thing. My mum and dad always wanted to be there and aid me anyway they could, but I never let them. This was the first and only time I would seek their help. And it was all because of a boy who had stolen my heart twenty-three years ago. Funny how life can change things so dramatically. Dean was certainly right about one thing. He was the man of my dreams and my worst nightmare rolled into one. He captured me, stole me, ruined me, and he ultimately got what he came for. I was ruined. I was broken. I was, and always would be, his.





Chapter 44



Tyler





In my car, I followed my parents the fifty miles or so to Brighton Harbour where we met Jose, a loyal friend and a skipper for the yacht named Sea Trials. It always made me smile whenever I thought of that name.

“Chica,” Jose bellowed from the yacht. “Such a long time, no see.”

I smiled up to Jose and came on board to give him a hug. “It’s nice to see you, Jose. I’m sorry we’re disturbing you so late in the evening.”

Jose pulled away and waved his hands dismissively. “It is never a problem for you,” he answered, a Spanish lilt to his accent. He had lived here thirty years, but still couldn’t hide his true roots.

“You know what to do, don’t you, Jose? You got everything?” my father asked.

Jose nodded. “Of course, Mr. O’Shea. Tyler is in safe hands. There is a bit of a storm forecast in the Med, but I will do my best to avoid passing through that. We will be fine.” Jose nodded again, but turned to get back to work and leave us to say our goodbyes.

“Jose has someone waiting for you when you get to Spain. He will sort out all the documentation by the time you arrive. I’ll make sure of it.”

I smiled at my father, grateful at the knowledge he was sticking his neck out for me. “I can’t thank you enough.”

My mother tut-tutted her disapproval. “Tyler, you know we have always been eager to help you whenever we can. Our aim has, and will always be, to do whatever we can to keep you safe and happy.”

With my murmurs of thanks, and several hugs goodbye, I was ready to go. But not before I gave my mother the letter. “Oh, Mum. Could you please post this for me as soon as you get back?” My mother nodded as I handed her the letter.

With a turn of their heels, my mother and father climbed off the yacht and waved goodbye.

Now was the start of my new life. A life without my Dean.





Chapter 45



Dean



An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.

Mahatma Gandhi





In my hand, I clutched the newspaper article containing Tyler’s letter she sneakily asked Louisa to post in the next available print. Unfolding the piece of paper, I stared at the letter and read her words again, just to twist the knife in deeper. I deserved it after everything I put her through.



Lotus,



I know who you are, so no introductions are necessary now. You were a part of my life for so long, yet you were never truly there for me. You thought I had betrayed you in unimaginable ways, but you never thought to ask. You never once thought to question that young girl whose window you used to climb into and dote on all those years ago for a simple explanation. That’s all it would have taken. Just one single question and a chance to explain myself. But no, you chose the route that led only to destruction. Well, mission accomplished.

You destroyed me.

The only person that betrayed you—and me—in the end was the one we both thought was our best friend. Yes, that’s right. It was him pulling the strings all along. It was him who sent that letter which destroyed your life and, in turn, ended up destroying mine. Not me. Him.

I don’t know whether you will believe this now, but I will tell you one thing before I close this letter and say my final goodbye.

I will miss you, Lotus. I will miss my stranger who came to visit me in my room. I will miss his voice, the smoothness of his skin, and the musky smell that always made me feel like the safest woman on earth. I will miss him because I love him. I have always loved him.

I will always love him.

I truly hope that you can move on from this. Stop living in the past and move on with your future. You have so much more to give than you know. There is no need for hatred, bitterness, and revenge. It’s a path you chose and it ended badly. But, no matter what has happened to me, I could never wish ill on you.

Take this letter, burn it, destroy it. Then go live your life. Go find someone who will bring joy to you, instead of feeding off your desire for revenge.

Be happy, my precious flower.



T



Sighing, I picked up this morning’s paper, reading it again for the hundredth time. Seeing that picture that will forever be etched into my brain…a picture of a boat wreck in the Mediterranean, the distinct lettering of Sea Trials written on the side of it as it bobbed out in the water. Tyler was missing, presumed drowned as they searched the waters for either her or her body. It was hard watching it on the news or listening to it on the radio. I had to know. I had to see if they were going to find her. I had to know so I could begin my life begging her forgiveness. She would never escape me because I would never let her. She was mine and always would be. No matter what.

My heart thrummed at the knowledge it was Ian all along. The dirty, lying scumbag was pulling all the strings and, because I was so focused on Tyler, I never even noticed it.

It was just as well that his remains were fed to the pigs. After what he was about to do to Tyler, he deserved everything he got. After knowing what I know now, it was just a pity I didn’t take my time torturing him before his death. If I could, I would go back to show Ian the consequences of thinking he could touch Tyler the way he did. He would have been sorry he ever laid a finger on her. I would have made sure of that right before I took his life.

In the end, nothing mattered. I’d lost Tyler now. I destroyed her, just like she had destroyed me. In trying to make her see there was no one else, I ultimately paid the price of her handing it right back to me. Cause-and-effect was definitely playing its role now. What went around came back around to bite me in the ass. I now knew my tattoo of a lotus flower represented more to me than it ever did.

I gripped the newspaper and scrunched it tightly in my hand. She may be missing, but I’ll never give up until I see her body. That was one thing people had to learn about me. I never quit.

And I certainly wasn’t going to start now.





Chapter 46



Three months later





I stood lurking in the shadows, just like I had been lately. I watched the people mourning Tyler O’Shea’s passing. There was no body in the casket. None had been found, but it had been three months and nothing had turned up.

I watched as people comforted one another. I kept a safe distance, watching, lurking, making sure no one could see me. I had become an expert at this now. It was amazing how much it empowered you to know you could see everyone, yet they couldn’t see you. It was a strange sensation, but one I embraced a lot lately.

I waited, motionless, as they lowered the casket into the ground. I came to simply say goodbye to Tyler O’Shea. She was dead now. Standing here, instead, was Jessica Florentino, quite an apt surname considering it was not only Italian, but also meant “blossoming”. I was blossoming now. I was rising from those murky waters and making damn sure I would never wither again.

I had a new life to lead now. One that entailed a bright new future. Thanks to my parents, we faked my death, created a new identity, and I was now living in Nebraska with my sister. I was planning on becoming a kindergarten teacher but, at the moment, something—or someone, I should say—halted me. It would be a few months before I could start my new career, and it was all down to the one person I was staring at now. It was kind of funny watching Dean lurking in the shadows the same as me. But I was the one watching him now and he never knew it. I had become the deviant, stalking him, watching him, longing for him. Since I got here a couple of days ago, I visited my mum and dad; watched Dean, just for the hell of it; and couldn’t resist a peak at my old apartment. I took ten minutes out just to see the old place one more time before I said goodbye. I also couldn’t resist the urge to check the bathroom again. The toilet paper was turned the wrong way again and, smiling slightly, I couldn’t resist the urge to turn it back the right way. Call it having the last word. I imagine Dean went back there a few times after I disappeared, but he wouldn’t go back there now. What was the point when I was dead?

I watched a little more as they finally laid my casket to rest. I was done for the day now. By tonight, I would be on a plane, ready to start my new life. One last time, I glanced at Dean, just to capture his face in my head. I needed something from him. I needed to take that image with me. I knew if I had stayed, he never would have stopped. Our relationship was based on lies and betrayal. I could never be with him knowing that, no matter how much it tears me apart knowing I will never see him again.

Unbeknownst to him, he did leave me with a parting gift that I will look after and treasure for the rest of my days.

Stroking my protruding belly, I made my way back to the waiting taxi and got in without a backwards glance. Dean’s ultimate goal was to always leave a permanent mark on Tyler O’Shea. Well, I guess he could say he has achieved his goal…

In more ways than one.





Chapter 47



Dean



Revenge proves its own executioner.

John Ford





I watched in the shadows as they lowered Tyler’s casket into the ground. She wasn’t in there, and I knew she never would be. They never found the body and, as far as I was concerned, no body meant she wasn’t dead. I had to cling onto that so I wouldn’t explode. My Tyler couldn’t be dead. I wouldn’t allow her to be.

I looked across at Tyler’s parents. Tyler’s mum was crying, of course, but it looked off to me. Call it intuition, but her tears didn’t seem genuine. That just put me on high alert straight away. This was exactly why I needed to come here and see for myself. Tyler’s father was giving nothing away and, funnily enough, the same could be said for their other daughter, Emily. It felt strange seeing her again after so long. I never really spent much time with Emily because she was so young at the time, but you could certainly see the resemblance between her and Tyler.

Dipping my head, I cursed myself for ever going down this path of self-destruction. And that’s exactly what this was. I had planned this all and, ultimately, got what I came after, but it was also at a cost to me. It was at a cost of someone who was innocent.

I replayed those words my uncle said in my office that day when I had made the biggest mistake of my life. You seek havoc, but all you’ll end up finding is despair.

I was in despair. And the only thing that kept me going was believing that Tyler was never truly gone. She couldn’t be. I would never allow it. Even after all that had been revealed, I would still run to the ends of the earth to claim her as mine again—for a different reason this time. I wanted to be her Dean again. I wanted so much to find her—if she were alive—and climb up her window like I used to. I needed her to see I could be that person again. I could be the boy she fell in love with all those years ago.

Shaking my head, I turned to leave, knowing that I had to say goodbye…for now. I couldn’t help this nagging feeling that I should go back to her apartment for some reason. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to take a look around. I could spare the twenty minute drive there and see the old place again, filled with all the haunted memories of Tyler and me.

Starting the Vanquish, I smiled, thinking it wouldn’t hurt at all. Just one more look was all I needed.

One last time…





Acknowledgements



It’s hard to know where to begin, but I’ll certainly try. First off, I want to thank my family. They are always a major support throughout this new path I’ve chosen to take. I know it took me long enough to put fingers to laptop, but I got there in the end.

I want to also thank Sabine Willems, Serena Kett, Line Nørgaard Fallesen, and Lisa Walker for being my beta readers for Deviant. I’m so glad you all had the same reaction.

I want to also give a VERY big thank you to Kim “Amazeballs” Young from Kim’s Editing Services for her editing expertise. You did an amazing job at getting rid of all the crap that was in there!!

I want to say another HUGE thank you to Sabine Willems and Dawn Vickers. You’re always there to support me and take time out of your busy day to pimp me as much as possible. You’re both amazing ladies. Thank you so much for being in my life.

Lastly, I want to say how much I admire every blogger out there. I know for a fact just how hard promoting and posting can be each day. Without you and the many readers out there, we authors would have a much harder job. You’re always eager to help and eager to promote author’s works. I take my hat off to every single one of you. Some of the bloggers I would love to mention are: Brit Nanny Reads, Compare Our Men Book Whores, M&D’s Have You Read Your Book Blog, What to Read After Fifty (50) Shades of Grey, Book Sluts, Fictional Men’s Room For Book Ho’s, ‘Til The Last Page Book Blog, Read and Share Book Reviews, Isalovesbooks, Three Chicks and Their Books, and Book Pimpers.

Lastly, I want to do a special mention to Serena “Man Hogger” Kett, who was absolutely thrilled to learn that her name was used as a prostitute in Deviant. Only you would be thrilled by that! Love ya, girl!