“Kiss me,” she breathed, a hint of want in her voice. “Please.”
I instantly stiffened. I wanted to kiss her, but I knew the minute I did, I would be lost. I knew what it was like to kiss her, and I vowed I wouldn’t put myself in that position again.
“Kiss me,” she pleaded again, gripping onto my sweatshirt. I knew there was something wrong with her. She was in pain and I’d be damned if it didn’t fucking kill me to see her like this.
Fuck, I needed to get a grip.
When I didn’t answer, she gripped me tighter. “No,” I finally managed to say. Immediately, she let go, and I didn’t know why I felt sudden disappointment clouding me.
“If you won’t let me kiss you, let me see something of you. Anything. Please.”
I was going to say no, but then I thought about it for a moment. Is she really going to figure out who I am just from seeing a part of me? I had said no before, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to deny her this.
Turning away from her, I lifted up my top to bare my back. For a moment, she didn’t move, but then I felt her get off the bed and open the curtain a little. With the moon shining on my back, she could finally see the faint outlines of my tattoos.
I felt the bed dip and Tyler scooting over to touch them. She surprised me by kissing each one and, fuck, did it make my dick stiff.
I felt her tracing the outline of my dragon tattoos. “Are they fighting?” she asked in a soft voice.
“Yes,” I answered, feeling her trail her fingers across each one.
“Why?”
I sighed, wondering whether to answer her. “Because they represent good versus evil.”
Feeling her fingers trail down my back, I almost shuddered. “Do they represent you?”
I tensed. I wasn’t even sure showing her the tattoos was a good idea, let alone telling her what they represented.
“Yes,” I finally answered.
“Do you think there is good and evil in you?”
“No. I don’t think there is any good in me at all. I think the dark dragon wins.”
“I can’t believe that,” she answered in a stern voice. “I don’t believe there could possibly be evil in you.”
I didn’t like where this was heading. I didn’t like that she was trying to reach into my soul and see the goodness in me. I hid it away for so long, it couldn’t possibly be there anymore.
“A dragon is capable of love, just as I am capable of loving a dragon,” she whispered softly.
Shit, she wasn’t hinting that she loved me, was she? Closing my eyes, I tried to gather momentum. “You could never love me, Tyler. I am a demon.”
“Can’t demons love, too?” she asked.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because a demon has no love to offer.”
I heard her sigh softly. “I don’t believe you,” she whispered again. “What does this represent?”
I felt her fingers at my lotus tattoo on my shoulder. “It’s a lotus flower.”
“Ah,” she said, with a hint of recognition. “Because you are Lotus. What does that represent?”
I kind of knew she would ask me, so I gave the honest answer. It certainly wasn’t what it represented, though. “A lotus flower blooms from muddy waters.”
I felt her finger stop trailing for a moment. “You’re a wealth of contradictions. First, you say you have no good in you, then you give me symbols of rising from muddy waters. Are you saying you’re in the muddy water? If you are, there must be good in you. One day, you will flower, Lotus. One day, you will rise from those murky waters.”
I suddenly got angry at her. “You don’t know anything about me, Tyler. I would suggest you stop trying to fucking psychoanalyse me. I’ve already told you I have no love to give. We fuck. That’s it between you and me.”
I felt her recoil and instantly regretted being harsh with her. I couldn’t let her unravel me. I couldn’t let her see the old me. I thought she was going to get angry and start sulking, so I was surprised when she kept going with her finger.
“What does this one represent?”
Her finger was at the crevice of my back. I knew she was outlining the Japanese calligraphy that ran all the way down the crevice. “It is kurobi, which is Japanese for ‘Black Belt’.”
She stopped her finger and I heard a small gasp. “You’re a black belt in karate?”
“Yes, in Tae Kwon Do.”
Soon, Tyler was tracing her finger all the way up the other shoulder. The one that was hidden from her view. I couldn’t possibly let her see that tattoo.
“Why can’t I see your other shoulder?”