Deviant(47)

On instinct, I touched the angel wings, remembering the day he first gave them to me. He made me make a promise and I kept that promise, but Dean hadn’t kept his. He never returned and I never heard from him again. It took a year to stop looking over my shoulder, hoping he would come back. It was a year of crying into my pillow, jumping every time the phone rang or someone knocked on our door. In a sense, I still had never truly gotten over him. He was my first love, and that’s hard to beat. My stranger was doing a good job of it, though. He was the first man who has ever come close to Dean. He was the first man to ever make me feel things I’d never felt before. He was the first man to ever open my eyes and make me see the true Tyler breaking free. I knew I was a little dark in that respect.

I had a boyfriend named Alan once. The sex was okay, but I never felt it was enough. One evening, I asked him to fuck me hard from behind and spank me. He looked at me as though I had asked him to jump off a cliff.

Suffice it to say, we didn’t do it because he wasn’t comfortable about possibly hurting me. It was only a week or so after that we ended things between us. It was just as well. I was even shocked at myself for suggesting it, and to carry on as normal after that was not going to happen.

Sighing, I turned over in bed and stared at a shadow on the wall. I knew it was just the light from outside illuminating a section on the top of the wall, but it still looked kind of creepy nonetheless. It looked like a black crow with its beak open, its wings spread like it was ready to pounce on its prey. Maybe it was trying to tell me something. Maybe I was the prey. I knew I was my stranger’s prey. But I loved every second of it.

I stared up for what must have been several minutes. I watched as this creepy shadow seemed to morph into what looked like a vampire bat. Quite an apt shadow, I thought, in my sleepy haze, considering my stranger liked to bite me so much.

It was soon after that I found myself suddenly in the corner of my room. I was scared and frightened, hiding from something, but I didn’t know what.

From the shadows, a figure appeared. I thought he was a monster out to get me, but when he came closer, I realised it was Dean. My Dean was here!

My thumping heart slowed as the boy I loved when I was younger came and kneeled down beside me, smiling. I smiled back, feeling absolutely euphoric at the thought that he was here to save me. My Dean had come back, just as promised, and he’d come to rescue me from the monsters.

“Tyler, what are you doing?” he asked, a lopsided grin on his face.

It was then I remembered exactly why I was there, cowering in the shadows. “I’m hiding in the shadows so the monster can’t find me.”

Dean laughed, but came closer. Leaning against my ear, I could feel his hot breath. “Tyler,” he whispered, making me shiver with the feel of his mouth so close to my ear, “you can’t hide in the shadows.”

“Why not?” I asked, wanting so much for him to take me away from here.

“Because it’s the shadows which are chasing you.”

I bolted up in my bed, sweat dripping. It was dark, I was scared. I couldn’t quite catch my breath. I flicked the light on in my room. Everything was still dark and quiet. So, so quiet.

Getting out of bed, I checked my bathroom and turned on my shower. Everything was still in place, the toilet roll as I left it.

As I jumped into the shower and let the warmth envelope me, I started wondering about what my dream meant. Why was Dean in it all of a sudden? Why was he so scary? Closing my eyes, I remembered what my last thought was before I went to sleep. I was thinking of Dean and looking up at the sinister shadows on my wall. It all made sense now. My fuzzy head cleared and I felt calm in the knowledge it was just my subconscious playing tricks on me. Dean would never hurt me. He always said I was his girl, and I always believed him. I still believe him to this day. I just wished I knew where he was and what he was doing right now. Just to know that he was alive and happy would be enough. It was the not knowing that frustrated and worried the hell out of me.

After calming down a little, I shut off the shower, dried myself, and headed back to bed. No shadows were haunting me now. Everything seemed normal—as normal as things could be, at least. I lay there waiting and hoping sleep would find me. It seemed I was more exhausted than I had thought, and I didn’t have too long to wait.





Chapter 22



Dean



Revenge is the naked idol of the worship of a semi-barbarous age.

Percy Bysshe Shelley





No amount of driving could help me. Normally, speed would help alleviate the pressures of the day, but I was wound up far too tightly tonight. What the fuck was she doing wearing that necklace? Why the fuck did she care enough about it to still wear it? It didn’t make any sense.