I gripped the newspaper and scrunched it tightly in my hand. She may be missing, but I’ll never give up until I see her body. That was one thing people had to learn about me. I never quit.
And I certainly wasn’t going to start now.
Chapter 46
Three months later
I stood lurking in the shadows, just like I had been lately. I watched the people mourning Tyler O’Shea’s passing. There was no body in the casket. None had been found, but it had been three months and nothing had turned up.
I watched as people comforted one another. I kept a safe distance, watching, lurking, making sure no one could see me. I had become an expert at this now. It was amazing how much it empowered you to know you could see everyone, yet they couldn’t see you. It was a strange sensation, but one I embraced a lot lately.
I waited, motionless, as they lowered the casket into the ground. I came to simply say goodbye to Tyler O’Shea. She was dead now. Standing here, instead, was Jessica Florentino, quite an apt surname considering it was not only Italian, but also meant “blossoming”. I was blossoming now. I was rising from those murky waters and making damn sure I would never wither again.
I had a new life to lead now. One that entailed a bright new future. Thanks to my parents, we faked my death, created a new identity, and I was now living in Nebraska with my sister. I was planning on becoming a kindergarten teacher but, at the moment, something—or someone, I should say—halted me. It would be a few months before I could start my new career, and it was all down to the one person I was staring at now. It was kind of funny watching Dean lurking in the shadows the same as me. But I was the one watching him now and he never knew it. I had become the deviant, stalking him, watching him, longing for him. Since I got here a couple of days ago, I visited my mum and dad; watched Dean, just for the hell of it; and couldn’t resist a peak at my old apartment. I took ten minutes out just to see the old place one more time before I said goodbye. I also couldn’t resist the urge to check the bathroom again. The toilet paper was turned the wrong way again and, smiling slightly, I couldn’t resist the urge to turn it back the right way. Call it having the last word. I imagine Dean went back there a few times after I disappeared, but he wouldn’t go back there now. What was the point when I was dead?
I watched a little more as they finally laid my casket to rest. I was done for the day now. By tonight, I would be on a plane, ready to start my new life. One last time, I glanced at Dean, just to capture his face in my head. I needed something from him. I needed to take that image with me. I knew if I had stayed, he never would have stopped. Our relationship was based on lies and betrayal. I could never be with him knowing that, no matter how much it tears me apart knowing I will never see him again.
Unbeknownst to him, he did leave me with a parting gift that I will look after and treasure for the rest of my days.
Stroking my protruding belly, I made my way back to the waiting taxi and got in without a backwards glance. Dean’s ultimate goal was to always leave a permanent mark on Tyler O’Shea. Well, I guess he could say he has achieved his goal…
In more ways than one.
Chapter 47
Dean
Revenge proves its own executioner.
John Ford
I watched in the shadows as they lowered Tyler’s casket into the ground. She wasn’t in there, and I knew she never would be. They never found the body and, as far as I was concerned, no body meant she wasn’t dead. I had to cling onto that so I wouldn’t explode. My Tyler couldn’t be dead. I wouldn’t allow her to be.
I looked across at Tyler’s parents. Tyler’s mum was crying, of course, but it looked off to me. Call it intuition, but her tears didn’t seem genuine. That just put me on high alert straight away. This was exactly why I needed to come here and see for myself. Tyler’s father was giving nothing away and, funnily enough, the same could be said for their other daughter, Emily. It felt strange seeing her again after so long. I never really spent much time with Emily because she was so young at the time, but you could certainly see the resemblance between her and Tyler.
Dipping my head, I cursed myself for ever going down this path of self-destruction. And that’s exactly what this was. I had planned this all and, ultimately, got what I came after, but it was also at a cost to me. It was at a cost of someone who was innocent.
I replayed those words my uncle said in my office that day when I had made the biggest mistake of my life. You seek havoc, but all you’ll end up finding is despair.
I was in despair. And the only thing that kept me going was believing that Tyler was never truly gone. She couldn’t be. I would never allow it. Even after all that had been revealed, I would still run to the ends of the earth to claim her as mine again—for a different reason this time. I wanted to be her Dean again. I wanted so much to find her—if she were alive—and climb up her window like I used to. I needed her to see I could be that person again. I could be the boy she fell in love with all those years ago.