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Deviant(118)

By:Jaimie Roberts


I saw the glint in his eyes and rolled my own. “Don’t you ever stop?” I teased, knowing the answer to the question before he even spoke.

“You know me,” he said with a wink. “Besides, I think you need cheering up. I’ll bring my normal red and white, and I may even bring along a movie for us to watch. What do you think?”

I nodded with a smile. “That sounds great. I could use a good night with a good friend and a good movie.”

Slapping his knee, Ian stood up. “Well, that’s settled then. I may even bring a chick-flick. See, that’s how much I love you, Tyler.” He winked again and walked back to his desk.

Feeling a little better, I went back to work and carried on with my day. I had to leave early and needed to get everything done before I went. When five o’clock came around, I gathered everything I had and was walking towards the lift. With a sudden tug of my arm, Louisa stopped me. “Where are you going in such a hurry?” she asked with an eager smile.

“I’ve got to get to the hospital before six. I—” I realised what I said and my whole posture deflated. Tears pooled in my eyes as Louisa stood there, placing a sympathetic hand on my shoulder.

“I forgot. I’m so used to doing this every day that sometimes I forget he’s gone. Fuck, am I losing my mind?” I asked, my body leaning against the wall.

“Of course not,” Louisa abolished. “Tyler, you just lost someone very close to you. It’s only been three weeks. It’s going to take time to adjust to everything that’s happened.” Coming in closer to me, she whispered softly, “Listen, I know you don’t really need to leave right now, but maybe you should take some time for yourself. You’ve been rushed off your feet since you got back. No one will think anything different about you for it. Besides, I think you need to go eat something. You really look pale and you’ve lost a lot of weight. In fact, stay right here.” Louisa rushed off before I could ask her what the hell she was doing. Five minutes later, she came back with her bag and coat in her arms.

“What are you doing?” Louisa never left this early.

Pulling her coat on, she dragged me towards the lift doors. “I’m taking you to get something to eat, Tyler. I won’t have you looking like a skeleton. You’ve lost your natural lovely curves. I need to get those hips of yours pumped out again.” She smiled, giving me that cheeky grin of hers. I wasn’t hungry, but I also wasn’t going to argue with her.

Louisa took me to our local bistro, ordered me a burger—without my permission—and sat there watching me as I ate. She stated that she wasn’t going to leave until I ate every single morsel. So I sat there pushing every bite into my mouth until she was satisfied there was nothing left. I felt full and I felt sick, but at least, according to Louisa, I wasn’t pale anymore.

After the bill was paid, Louisa went back to work, and I got in my car and drove home. The clouds were gathering and the darker it got, the more the stench of rain stung my nose. I knew it was going to come down, and I knew I had to get home before the heavens opened. As I parked and got out of my car, a bolt of lightning suddenly streaked through the sky, making me jump. A few seconds later, an almighty boom sounded in my ears, prompting me to walk a little faster. I could feel the beginnings of rain pelting against my head as I clambered up the stairs towards the door to my building.

An elderly neighbour of mine was there and gave me a beaming smile. “I was wondering whether I should go out to the shops. I’m not so sure now,” he said, tipping his hat.

I shook my head. “I wouldn’t, if I were you. Maybe it’s one of those thunderstorms that leaves just as quickly as it came.” With that said, another bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, making us both duck a little at the same time. We laughed, but another boom sounded straight after.

“Yes,” he said, heading for the door. “I think I’ll go later.”

He insisted on holding the door open for me and I smiled as we both went in. I said goodbye and headed straight to my lift. For some reason, I had this sudden urge for Twiglets again. It was odd, considering I had never really eaten them before now. I smiled to myself, thinking Jeremy had really rubbed off on me. It still hurt, I still felt guilty, and I even spoke to him night after night, begging for his forgiveness for something I knew I didn’t do. It was silly, really, but I felt I needed to do it because I still couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling I had something to do with his death. Did Jeremy just give up? That was a question which would never be answered.