So, without another thought, I leaned in. I placed my lips to hers and, instantly, I was lost to my Tyler, my angel, my girl whose window I used to crawl up to when I was just a young naïve boy. For some reason, kissing her felt so right. It felt as though I was coming home after a long stretch in hell. Her mouth was warm and familiar. Her lips so soft and smooth. Kissing Tyler had always felt like nothing else in the world mattered.
Hooked under Tyler’s spell, I manoeuvred myself on top of her. She never once stopped me. In fact, she parted her legs so that she could let me in. Biting her lip gently, I placed my hand at the bottom of her dress and pulled up. She was wearing lace panties today and, by fuck, they felt good on her.
Still kissing her, I grabbed her left thigh and squeezed with just enough force to make her moan. Her hands were underneath the back of my hoodie as she scratched my back from the top right down to my hips. I arched up, claiming her mouth again, more forcefully this time. As always, she let me take the lead as I pulled away and kissed her gently in the curve of her neck. Her breathing was hitched and as erratic as mine as my erection strained in my trousers. I had wanted her before, but not like this. This was more. This was somehow...real.
Positioning my groin on hers, I pushed a little, causing her to moan. It was almost an agonising moan, so full of desire, so full of need. With my head still at the base of her neck, I kissed along her chest until I reached the other side of her neck where I licked up towards her jawline.
“Dean…,” she whispered, her voice still filled with want.
I froze. I knew I heard her but, for some reason, I couldn’t move. After a few seconds, Tyler seemed to realise her blunder. She froze, too.
“Oh god. I’m so sorry,” she said, an edge of pain in her voice. “I’m not myself. I didn’t realise what I was saying.”
I didn’t want to listen anymore. Without another word, I got up. I couldn’t possibly stay after hearing her calling me by my name. Somehow, hearing it put things into perspective for me. This wasn’t what I came for. I didn’t come back to her for this. Certainly not for the reason she would think her Dean would come back for.
“Please, don’t leave me. Not tonight. I’m so sorry.”
I heard the pain in her voice, but I had to ignore it. I had to fight the ache coming from my head, my stomach, my heart. I couldn’t have a heart. I was a demon. Demons have black hearts, void of any emotion. Void of any compassion. Void of any love.
With my back to her, I faced the door, but I couldn’t move. I was rooted to the spot, unable to find motion. My head raged and roared inside me. I had to go, but I couldn’t.
You can’t leave her.
I had to. This wasn’t part of the deal. I had a score to settle and I settled it. I came here to say sorry and she called me by my name. If I stayed, she may see right through me. She may see what had become of her Dean…the boy who climbed up her window, the boy who loved her more than life itself.
So, I left. My feet began to move and I left her alone, crying on her bed. She needed me and I bolted.
Yes, I know. I was a fucking asshole. Had I ever promised I would be anything but?
Chapter 41
Tyler
Buckinghamshire, 2001
“Tyler, be ready in five minutes, please. We need to get going!” my mum shouted from downstairs.
“Okay, Mum!” I shouted back. “I’m just getting changed!”
I turned to Dean with a smile, but I was sad knowing he had to climb back out my window.
As if reading my mind, he sighed. “I guess I better be going, but I want to give you something before I do.” Dean looked serious for a moment, and I didn’t like him looking serious. It worried me.
“Okay,” I said, a little confused.
Reaching into his pocket, he handed me a silver locket with a set of angel wings. “I might be going away soon, and I don’t know how long it will be until I come back.”
Feeling a little apprehensive and teary about my best friend leaving, I shook my head. “You can’t leave. What about your home? What about Ian and me?”
Putting the chain around my neck, Dean leaned in and kissed me softly. It was the first time he had ever kissed me. I had just turned sixteen, Dean was eighteen, but I had known him for ten years now. You would think it would repulse someone after so long but, to me, it felt like fireworks were exploding inside of me. I had an ache I wished Dean would soothe away. It was a kiss I felt I had been waiting for all my life. His lips felt soft, his mouth warm. I had never kissed a guy before now as I had always been waiting for Dean. But it was finally here, and it was so worth the wait.