Her questions rippled through my mind. "Perhaps you were meant to be a peace offering? Or perhaps at that point, she truly thought she was the mother goddess. What do you remember of them speaking when you were handed off?"
She squeezed her eyes shut so tightly, wrinkles formed around them. "Viv said, 'You have been alone too long, and I fear for you.'"
I frowned. "And his response?"
Peta's eyes flickered open. "He thanked her and took me from her. It was very … formal. I would not have thought anything of it until now."
I rubbed a hand over her back. "I don't think it matters now, Peta. Whatever her reasons were, your journey brought you to me. Don't regret any of it."
She bobbed her head. "You are right." In a blink, she shifted to her housecat form and leapt up to my shoulder. "Let's go see what Talan has to say for himself, then."
I stood at the same time as Raven. He was a little shorter than me, and I glared down at him. "Back up."
The twinkle that had always been in his eyes, like he was joking about something even if you weren't in on it, was not there. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. I decided on good. Maybe he was finally being honest with me. He did as I asked, though, giving me room.
Peta clung to my shoulder and along my back, her tail lashed side to side. Her emotions that cut through the bond were sharp, angry, and distressed. I lifted a hand to her head and rubbed her neck. "Don't worry, we've been through worse."
"I'm not so sure about that." Her words were soft enough that there was no way Raven could hear. "In the past, you faced enemies that were enemies. These two … I don't know about either of them. Which makes this situation perhaps the most dangerous you've ever been in because we may have to trust them and not trust them at the same time."
I agreed with her, but said nothing out loud.
Raven moved up beside me as we walked through the carved tunnels, the glittering quartz reflecting enough light that we didn't walk in shadows.
"Why didn't you kill me in the Eyrie?" Raven's question caught me off guard.
"I was going to. You disappeared, remember?"
"I do recall that, but you took your time. You pronounced your intention, you claimed Ender status and judged me. You didn't have to do all that. You could have just killed me." He pointed out what I already knew.
Despite all that he'd done, despite the hatred I had for him and for whatever part he'd had in Ash being turned into a golden eagle, I was not sure I wanted to kill more of my family. "I've killed two of our siblings and our father. Do you not think that is enough to ask of any one person?"
"You did not kill Keeda."
"I might as well have. Perhaps what I did to her was worse yet. At least she is in peace now." I'd stolen her mind from her with Spirit, and then she'd been killed later, unable to defend herself. I stared ahead, refusing to look at him.
"You had more reason to kill me than any of the others," he pointed out.
I spun and pinned him against the rough wall of the tunnel between one heartbeat and the next. "And I still have the same reasons now. But for some reason, I stupidly gave myself over to Talan and I am trapped here with you. Let me be very clear," I pressed my forearm across his neck until his face turned purple, "there will always be a part of me that hates you. And there will always be a part of me that loves you for the brother you were."
I let him go. "And I am holding back now only because I must learn from Talan. And he said no fighting, brother."
I left him in the hallway, bent over, clutching his throat. We both knew he could have used any of his abilities to push me off, but he hadn't. Which only made me wonder at the game he played, because I doubted Talan had cut him off from his abilities as he'd done to me.
Stretching my legs despite the fatigue that rocked me, I covered the last of the ground that took me to the room with the water pouring through the middle. Talan was there, as before, as if waiting for me. He sat on a protrusion of rock that looked carved into a chair for him. Like a stone throne. He looked up as I came in and frowned as he looked me over. "Raven healed you?"
I nodded.
His frown deepened and we just stared at one another. "Well, so much for that lesson."
From behind me was the sound of Raven catching up, coughing as he walked. "Yeah, she was very grateful."
I glared at him as he walked by me, rubbing his throat. I'd not hurt him badly, just cut off the air to his brain. "Drama queen."