Destiny Binds(77)

“I like all of my pictures,” I said, nodding towards the wall in front of my bed. Every time Mom came back from the hotel where my family was staying she brought a stack of drawings Angel made for me. I had her hang them on the wall so that I could see all the Get well soon’ s and I love youʼs every time the drugs wore off enough for me to wake up. My favorite was the first one on the second row. In it she had drawn two blond girls and a boy whose smile was so big it couldnʼt be contained by the round circle of his head. In his hand he had a plate of brownies. “Youʼre becoming a really good artist.”

Angel didnʼt say anything, but she did come over to the side of my bed. Her eyes would slide from my face to my stomach and back up again. Her bottom lip quivered.

“Do you want to climb up here and snuggle with me?”

“Iʼm supposed to be real careful not to hurt you.”

“You wonʼt hurt me.” I patted the empty space on the bed with my cast. “Look, you can lay right here. Weʼll just be sure not to touch my tummy, okay?” She was exceedingly cautious as she climbed up beside me. The jarring of the mattress did cause a few stabbing pains to shoot through my midsection, but I managed not to scream.

When she finally settled in I pulled her head down onto my shoulder. She smelled of hotel shampoo and cookies. I watched as tears pooled on the bridge of her nose before plunging onto my hospital gown.

“Mommy said that Alex went to Heaven.” Her voice trembled as she spoke.

“Thatʼs right. He went to be with his mommy and daddy.”

“And theyʼll take care of him and wonʼt let him be lonely?”

“Of course they will. Heʼs in a better place now.”

Angel wiggled around so that she could look at me. “Youʼre not going to leave me and go to Heaven too, are you?” Her voice hiccuped as she started crying in earnest, her tiny face screwed up into a mask of heartache. If you had asked me an hour before, I would have said it was impossible for my heart to break any further. I would have been wrong.

“Iʼm not going anywhere.” I awkwardly patted her back with my broken hand and covered the crown of her head in kisses. “Iʼm going to get better and come home in just a couple of days.”

“Promise me,” she sobbed. “Promise me you wonʼt die.”



“Angel, sweetie, I canʼt promise that. No one can make that promise.”

“Promise me!” she wailed.

And so I slipped my pinky finger around hers and promised to stay where I was, in my very own version of Hell.



***

The next time I came to a new visitor was occupying the chair where my parents normally kept vigil. Talley twisted her hair around her fingers as her unblinking eyes flitted down the page of the novel balanced on her lap. From the blush on her cheeks I assumed she was to the kissing part.

“Hey,” I said. My voice was still weak, especially when I first woke up.

Talley jumped up and tossed the book aside without even marking the page. “Iʼm so sorry.

Have you been awake long? Do you need anything? Water? Ice chips? Are you in pain? Do I need to get a nurse?”

“Iʼm fine.” I swallowed and reconsidered her offer. “Actually, ice would be awesome.” Talley darted down the hall, reappearing seconds later with a styrofoam cup and plastic spoon. She made like she was going to feed me, but I fixed her with a look that caused her to hand it over. When her fingers touched mine she jerked back and apologized. She did that a lot now that I knew about her Seer abilities.

“Itʼs fine,” I said for perhaps the hundredth time. “I trust you.” That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Talleyʼs face completely crumbled.

I braced myself, certain Talley was going to tell me she had told Jase and Charlie where to find me. I had been refusing to admit that was the most rational explanation for how they found us because I knew once I did, I would have to pass some of the blame for Alexʼs death onto Talley, leaving me without a single friend.

“Iʼve already Seen what happened that night.” The world weighed heavy on her shoulders.

“I didnʼt want to, but they made me do it to protect the Pack. He had to know what happened.

Iʼm so sorry, Scout. I know I promised never to get inside your head without your permission, but--”

“Itʼs okay,” I said, cutting her off. “Mi brain es su brain.” My own memories of that night were still jumbled, but it was getting clearer all the time.

Some things, like the stick protruding from Alexʼs flesh, seemed to be seared permanently into my brain. Sometimes the image would suddenly float in front of my eyes, blocking out everything else. Other times, I would be gripped with a sudden paralyzing fear out of nowhere, my heart hammering in my chest, my brain screaming for fight or flight without any finite source of danger. And then there were the nightmares. I wondered if Talley was able to sleep peacefully.