“We did it right here on this desk a few times,” I purred. I shook my head as I sighed, “I was in one of those phases some girls go through, ya know, the ones where we’re so young but want to have sex with really old men.” My tone was dripping with sarcasm. I was saying it happened, but making sure they both realized how ridiculous it sounded.
“I have never had a better lover,” I continued.
Silence.
No one said a word.
I stared at Marcus as he stared back. Both of us glowered at the other.
But I wasn’t done. Not at all.
“I guess I should tell you a few other things, too,” I went on. “I have a superpower. When I sleep with a man, I can make him do anything,” I boasted, my eyes wide with exaggeration. “For example, I can make a sane man leave me half of his business.” I shrugged nonchalantly. “I can also turn a man into a spineless mute,” I seethed, directing my gaze to Paul. I flung my arm up toward him. “See!” I laughed with ridicule. “Look at what I can do!”
Paul’s expression was conflicted. He looked somewhere between angry, embarrassed, and guilt-ridden.
I moved toward the door, forcing Marcus to move aside so I could exit. Looking down at him, I sneered, “Just imagine what I could make you do, little man.”
He glared at me, but didn’t speak. It was a first. He always had a comeback; an insult. Always. I had won this time. This one and only time when it came to Marcus—I got the last word. But I didn’t really feel like I had won. Not at all. I marched out of the office and left Paul to sort it out with Marcus. As far as I was concerned, we were done.
Finished.
Over.
We’re meeting Ashley daily now. It’s hard to relive the past. It’s hard to remember the bad things. The good, too. Especially while Clara and I are still at odds right now. We’re not fighting. We talk, but only in regard to Neena. It’s very minimal. We take shifts sleeping downstairs with her at night. Our disagreement is silly. Really. I know she’s just frantic a lot of the time; concerned for Neena. I know that she tries to shoulder everything, like if she hadn’t left Neena with me that night, Neena wouldn’t have taken such a rapid turn for the worse. But I recognize that while she blames me, she really blames herself. Why is it when we’re hurting we always take it out on the ones we love the most?
“When Marcus walked in on you two and Clara left . . . that was a bad night,” Ashley notes.
“It was,” I agree.
“What happened?”
After Clara stormed out, Marcus cocked his head and pursed his lips in thought. “Okay. So maybe she wasn’t his lover.”
I clenched my eyes closed. Was he fucking serious? It took her losing her shit like that to convince him?
“So . . . how long has that been going on?” He pointed at the desk where Clara had been bent over for my pleasure just minutes before.
“Not long,” I grumbled as I shoved the office chair under the desk. I was fucking pissed. Pissed at Marcus for walking in and making a scene. I was pissed at Clara for calling me spineless. I was pissed at myself for being gutless. I should have stood up for her. I wanted to. But I didn’t know what to say. Marcus was family. Also, I didn’t want to imply she and I were casual . . . maybe we were, but I didn’t know. I didn’t want to make it seem like we were an item either. I wasn’t sure what we were, and in that moment, I felt like I’d piss her off no matter what I said. So I said nothing. I’d disappointed two people at the same damn time. Not my best hour.
“You . . . with her?”
“I don’t fucking know, Marcus, okay?” I spat out.
“Why are you pissed at me?” he asked angrily.
I stared at him, dumbfounded. “Um, let’s see,” I began with a haughty laugh. “Why can’t you cut her some slack? I mean, seriously.”
He blinked at me, his expression unreadable.
“Our business is better than ever. She stays out of your way, for the most part. She could fire you for acting like such an asshole and if she did, I couldn’t blame her.” I knew I was treading on thin ice.
“You’d let her fire me?”
“I’ve tried staying out of it. I’ve tried letting you guys work it out on your own. I love you, man, but you won’t quit, Marcus. She’s not going anywhere. You’re not going to bully her out of here and frankly, I don’t want her to go.”
His brows shot up. “You love her, don’t you?”
I turned from him and dropped my head. That’s what it sounded like I’d just said. Is that what I meant? Shit. I was confused. Maybe not confused, but definitely in denial. “It has to stop, Marcus. You have to stop goading her.”