“I can’t ask him that!” she shrieks.
Flicking my blinker and turning into the office parking lot, I say, “Then I guess we will never know.”
“Are you sad you never got married?”
Parking the car, I turn off the ignition. She’s out in full force today, asking me all the tough questions. “I was married,” I admit. “Once.”
Her eyes widen to the size of saucers. “What? To who?”
“His name was Kurt. It was a long time ago.”
“How could you never tell me this?” The look on her face is sheer shock.
“I don’t like to think about it, I guess.”
“Do you still love him or something?”
I laugh. “No,” I answer firmly. “But I did, or . . . thought I did, and he hurt me badly.”
Neena deflates a little, her tiny mouth curving into a frown. “What an asshole.”
“Neena!” I scold, even though I can’t help smiling a little.
She cracks a little grin. “Sorry. But he sounds like one.”
I pat her leg. “Do you think less of your mother now?”
She shakes her head animatedly. “No, Mom. I want to know more about you.”
“I think I revealed all of my skeletons today,” I say, as I open my car door.
Neena climbs out as well, and as I unlock the office door, we both turn at the sound of a van pulling in the parking lot. I sigh loudly. This little girl, Ashley, is relentless. I got us in two hours early in hopes of missing any reporters.
“Hurry up and get inside,” I tell Neena. But Ashley practically hops out of the van while it’s still moving and rushes in behind us.
“Ashley,” I say her name firmly. “Enough of this. The answer is no.”
“Actually,” Neena says. “I want to give her the story.”
I freeze as I stare at Neena blankly. “What story?”
“The story of you and Dad and your lives and how I came to exist.”
Ashley, to her credit, remains silent, but I can tell she’s fighting a smile. She thinks she’s won. “Neena, you don’t—”
“I’m dying,” she snaps, shutting me up instantly. She’s never spoken to me this way. “Maybe if I had a lifetime I’d get to hear the story of my parents bit by bit. Even if you don’t want to tell me now because I’m young, you might have one day when I was older. But that’s not going to happen, Mom.”
“Neena, please—”
“I want to share this story, and I want to hear yours and Dad’s.”
“We can tell you the story. We don’t have to make this public knowledge.”
Stepping gingerly toward me, my heart nearly stops when she looks up at me and I see the tears brimming in her eyes. Neena hardly ever cries. Through all of this, the treatments, the sickness, the bad news, she’s been strong. “Please do this for me, Mom.”
Pulling her into me, and pressing her head to my shoulder, I exhale shakily. My sweet child wants our stories. She wants to know the path that led to her existence. But she’s too young to understand how reliving the past can be painful. It doesn’t matter though. Not anymore. I have so little I can give her right now other than my love and attention. If this will make her happy . . .”Sure. If Paul agrees, we’ll do it.”
Of course, Paul agreed. Neena has him wrapped around her finger. With one phone call, all it took was a simple pretty please and he’s on board. I think he’ll do anything for her. After the call, he passed by Sky High and picked up Neena before heading to my place to get settled in. The two are two peas in a pod. They’ve been spending a lot of time together. Even when she appears worn out, she wants to be around him a whole lot. I’ve learned to give them space. And he’s been super patient and delicate with her, especially when Neena pushes herself, so I’m starting to feel better about their time together. She’s just so happy when she’s near him. How can I not love that?
It’s the first free weekend I can afford to sit down to be interviewed, a month after Paul gave it the go-ahead. “You’re doing great,” Ashley assures me. Mills gives me a thumbs-up from where he stands behind Zane and the camera. Marcus is holding down the fort up front, and Ashley and her crew and I are in one of the more spacious offices, which is usually occupied by both Bowman and Larry, while the guys are out with clients. We’ve already discussed how Paul and I met that terrible day many years ago when I failed to jump. But now she wants to know the gritty stuff. Stuff I haven’t thought about in years. Stuff I hadn’t realized I’d have to talk about.