She’s still looking at me like I’m about to burst out laughing and mock her, which I would never do so her suspicion isn’t warranted. I try hard to be nice and this is the reaction I receive.
“It was a compliment, Cereus, nothing more.” I sigh and she fidgets in her seat.
“I have a new coat. Nothing has changed about my hair.”
I look over at the soft cream fur coat she’s wearing and smile. It’s very feminine and girly for her. “I like it.”
“My other coat still has a Coke stain on it,” she says, looking over at me with a raised brow.
I glance at her and then look back to the road. “What stain, sweetie? I’ll take it to the dry cleaners.”
“The one from the mall guy. I already told you about it and you forgot to take it to be cleaned.”
I don’t remember her telling me about a mall guy or the stain but my mind has been preoccupied of late so I don’t argue the fact.
“Mall guy?” I ask with an excited tone and a waggle of my brows. Her eyes roll but she turns slightly in her seat towards me.
“Yeah, that Ryan guy.”
My foot crashes down on the brake and we both jolt forwards, our seatbelts catching us and pinning us back. My heart thuds loudly in my ears and my hands shake.
“Jesus, Mom! What the hell?”
I know I shouldn’t freak out every time someone mentions that name but him finding out about Cereus is my worst fear, and after just letting him into my thoughts, she speaks his name. It’s as if he knows I thought about him. I know he’s locked behind bars and is probably so high on medication he doesn’t remember himself, let alone me, but the memory of his malice still haunts me. I gain my wits back and take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. A cat ran out into the road,” I lie, and slowly move the car forward again. “Tell me more,” I say, forcing a smile.
“You look pale, Mom. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, baby. Tell me more about the mall guy.”
“There’s nothing to tell, it was just one of those brief encounters with a stranger you hear about. The kind that make butterflies in your stomach and your heart pound a little faster. That’s never happened to me before.”
I’m excited that she’s opening up to me so much. I want to keep her talking despite hating the fact she’s growing up and can feel that way about a guy.
“Did he ask for your number?”
She exhales an annoyed sigh. “No, Mom. He bumped into me by accident and apologized and walked away.”
“You should have asked him for his,” I say with a grin, which she returns, and then shrugs.
“He was too old for me anyway, and I’m kinda seeing Matt.”
I leave the Matt topic alone. He made it apparent with his longing gazes that he has a thing for older women and has a blatant crush on his girlfriend’s mom.
I offered him a position as an intern when he graduates as a favor to Cereus, but I already regret it.
Can’t make dinner, baby. I’m sorry
I RE-READ THE TEXT FROM Blake and kick my shoes off.
“Wow, Mom you look great!”
I look at Cereus in the mirror and offer a weak smile. “Thank you, baby.”
I stare back at myself and stroke my hands down the soft fabric of my new dress. It’s deep red and finishes just below the knee. It’s ambitious, hugging every curve, but Blake always makes me feel beautiful enough to pull this type of dresses off.
“What time are you meeting Dad?” she asks, standing behind me to finish pulling up the zip for me. I don’t want to tell her he cancelled again. I’m not the only one who’s picked up on the distance he’s putting between us.
“Soon, sweetheart. What are your plans for tonight?”
“I’m meeting Stacy at the cinema.”
An hour later she’s calling out her goodbye. The front door closes and I immediately strip the dress off and run a bath.
The hot water laps over my skin, wrapping me in bubbles. I sip my glass of wine and plug the dripping faucet with my toe. My head feels light from the alcohol I consumed before getting into the tub. I let my eyes close briefly, the warmth of the water soothing the busy day away, and the wine soothing the lonely feeling of being disengaged from my soul mate.
I look in the mirror at myself wearing the dress I planned to wear for Blake. The red material turns to liquid on my skin, dripping from me in rivers down my legs and puddling at my feet. I look back up and see Blake behind me in the mirror; my heart drums heavily in my chest. His hands reach around my throat and clasp around my windpipe, cutting off my air. I reach towards the reflection we’re casting, and closing my fist, I crash it down against the glass, shattering it to pieces. It falls away but another mirror is underneath. My reflection, now naked and bleeding, screams back at me and the man behind me is no longer Blake, but Ryan.