Desert King, Pregnant Mistress(33)

She knew all too well what it was like to  have no one in whom you could  confide, and Khal was in exactly the same  position. For all the  apparent strength and closeness of his family, he  had always protected  them from the truth. As sole ruler of Q'Adar, he  wouldn't share his  innermost thoughts with anyone. How sad and  ridiculous that their  different stations in life meant they could never  be close, when they  were so alike in so many ways. They had so much to  offer each other,  and all of that was to be wasted.

With a deep  sigh, she turned to stare out of the windows at the harsh  realities of a  land undergoing change. But, even with all the upheaval  she had  experienced first-hand, she could see new Artesian wells,  reflecting  Khal's remorseless quest for water to feed his new crops.  And even with  her personal preoccupations she couldn't help smiling and  pressing her  face against the window to wave to a group of children  who had gathered  to watch the passing cavalcade. Khal's  responsibilities seemed endless  to her, and even with a council to help  him he would make all the final  decisions, decisions that would affect  the future of all the children of  Q'Adar.

They were shown into the VIP lounge where there was no  possibility of  Khal speaking privately with her, or even showing the  affection towards  Hana which Beth was certain he longed to do. However  comfortable the  lounge, it seemed a sterile place to say goodbye to  someone you loved.  There were so many people waiting to greet him, and  as always Khal made  each one of them feel special. He could be gracious  and gentle and  genial, with his warrior self completely hidden. But it  was always duty  for him-duty first, duty always, even now. No wonder his  people loved  him and trusted him to bring them the settled existence  they had so  longed for.                       
       
           



       

He came over at last and addressed  himself first to the female  bodyguard to whom he had entrusted Beth and  Hana's safety. 'Take good  care of them,' he said, glancing at Beth. As  the woman assured Khal  that she would, Beth held Hana closer, hoping  beyond hope she had the  courage to keep her dignity while Khal bowed to  her in the traditional  Arabian salutation before turning to go. She  swallowed hard on her  tears as he strode from the room, followed by his  attendants. She felt  instantly empty and lost. Her lover, her heart, had  gone; half of her  had been ripped away-the better half.



He  took the small, fast car they had brought to the airport for him to   drive, and pushed it to the limit along the seemingly endless desert   road. He didn't want to think. He didn't want anything, or anyone. He   needed space and privacy to lick his wounds like an injured animal. The   pain of parting from Beth and Hana was unendurable. He had dismissed  his  bodyguards and outriders and now he needed only one companion-and  she  was lying deeply buried in the sand beneath her monument.

The  Ferrari slewed to a halt in a spray of sand. Backing up carefully,  he  parked it at the edge of the stony track along which Beth had led  her  tiny group to safety. But he hadn't come to relive those memories,  but  to remember his sister and her bright, humorous eyes.

Those same  eyes had held his gaze when she'd challenged him to exchange  horses with  her so she could prove herself the better rider. He'd been  young and  full of thoughtless energy then. He had laughed at her  suggestion, and  had sprung down readily from his mount. She'd had the  better horse. He'd  known it, and had longed to test it. It was a far  faster horse than  his, and though she'd pressed his stallion hard his  sister had fallen  behind him. He had been so suffused with triumph he'd  punched the air,  unaware that the desert had taken her. She had tried  to cut him off and  had veered from the track. She had been lost, sucked  down into the  treacherous quicksand, a silent and terrible death.

Since then he  had never shared his thoughts with anyone, and had been  closed off to  feelings. He had embraced the responsibilities of Q'Adar  with relief, if  only because it had meant he would never have time to  feel anything  ever again. He had been so certain it would be enough and  would bring  him ease, but nothing could be further from the truth. He  knew now that  he only had one life, and must live it to the full as his  sister had. He  had always respected Ghayda's passion for life, and  this half-life of  his would have angered her, and did no honour to her  memory. He had been  so foolish, so blinkered and narrow-minded …

Resting his hand on  the weathered stone, he watched the giant aircraft  taking Beth and Hana  home soar into the sky above his head. 'I love  you,' he whispered to his  sister, and to Beth.



Normally she felt a little glow of  pleasure each time she slipped the  key into the lock of her very own  home. Growing up in a series of  featureless institutions had made her  intensely territorial, Beth  supposed. But today she felt empty. Picking  up the Moses basket, she  carried Hana into the hallway and shut the  door. The adventure was  over. They had made a clean break from Khal at  the airport, and now she  had to get used to life without him.

She  made a determined effort to force back tears when Faith emerged  from  the kitchen. 'What a wonderful surprise!' Beth exclaimed with  genuine  pleasure. 'I can't tell you how glad I am to see you. Does this  mean  your father's better?'

'Yes, it does,' Faith confirmed, giving Beth and Hana a joint hug.

It  made things bearable. She needed friends around her to fill the  empty  spaces, though in her heart Beth knew those spaces would never be   filled.

'Shall I take Hana upstairs for you and settle her?' Faith offered.

'I'll  make us both a cup of tea while you do that,' Beth said, tenderly   handing Hana over. She thought Faith looked happier than she had in a   long time, and put it down to the worry about her father no longer   troubling her. But Beth's smile faded the moment Faith and Hana were out   of sight. She would never get used to life without Khal in it.                       
       
           



       

She  made a pot of tea and then walked, pensively nursing her mug, into  the  sitting room … where she almost dropped it. 'Khal?' Her lungs  contracted,  and she had to steady herself with her hand on the back of  the sofa.  'How on earth?'

'Did I get here before you?' he said, moving out of the shadows. 'I cheated.'

Even in Western clothes he was an incongruous sight in the small, neat room.

'Well, Beth … Aren't you going to say hello?'

The crease was back in his cheek, she noticed, and his gaze warmed her frozen lips. 'Hello,' she said foolishly. 'How?'

'You were in a lumbering passenger plane with a two-hour check in.'

'While  you were piloting your own fast jet, and had VIP clearance.' she   finished for him. She was just an ordinary girl in an extraordinary   situation, Beth realised as Khal smiled faintly in agreement.

The crease in his cheek deepened. 'What's a jet between friends, Beth?'

'Friends … '

'I hope so.'

'Why are you here?' She spoke in a very small voice, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

'Because we have unfinished business. And because I want you back,' he said after a moment.

'I can't … Not again-'

'Hear me out. I need you in Q'Adar. The country needs you.'

'Q'Adar needs me?' she said frowning.

'Wasn't it you who said that a country is more than a balance sheet?'

'But I'm an outsider; I don't know how to help.'

'You  told me you had plans … The nursery, remember? And that was just the   start, you said. You told me a country needs a heart. You are that   heart-or you could be, if you wanted to be. And remember, I spent all my   school years and most of my adult life out of the country, so I'm a   stranger too. But I went back to Q'Adar, and I'm glad I did. The country   needs strong leadership, Beth, or it will descend into chaos.'

'I wouldn't fall apart,' she said, eyes growing misty as she allowed herself to share Khal's dream for a moment.

'I know that. I also remember something else you said: a country needs more than strong leadership, it needs a human face.'

'But not my face.'

'Aren't  you Beth Tracey Torrance? Aren't you the same girl who turned  my world  upside down? Well, Beth? Have you nothing to say? Have I found  a way to  silence you at last?'