“I want to know now.” She pouted.
“I know, but does it really matter if it’s a boy or a girl? We’ll love him or her either way.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she said. “But I would like a sister and a brother.”
I laughed. “Well honey, I think you’re only getting one or the other this time. I’m sorry.”
“Why can’t I have both?”
“Maybe one day,” I said wistfully. I’d always wanted at least three kids, if not four. I was an only child and had wished for brothers and sisters all my life, especially after my parents died. I never wanted my children to feel alone, as I had, and siblings meant family.
“Yay!” she said, obviously taking my maybe as a yes.
“Honey, I can’t promise that I’ll have more babies, but we’ll just have to see what the future holds, okay?”
“Okay.” She was quiet for a few moments, and I thought she might be asleep, but then she asked, “If it’s a girl, can we name her Daisy?”
“Daisy?” I asked with a chuckle. “Why Daisy?”
“I like that name a lot,” she said. Her eyes lit up as if she had a brilliant idea. “Ooh or maybe Dora, like Dora the Explorer.”
“We’ll have to see, honey,” I said.
“Please, Mommy, let me name the baby. Pretty please?”
“We can pick a name together. Mason might have some thoughts on the name too.”
She frowned. “Daddies don’t name babies.”
“Oh? Where did you hear that?” I chuckled.
“Daddy said he wanted you to name me after Grandma, but you wouldn’t do it.”
“Would you want to be named Henrietta instead?”
“No, I like my name,” she said.
I didn’t want to tell her the real reason I was opposed to Henrietta. It was nothing about the name being bad - I was fond of older names, in fact. Greg’s mother had been an absolute monster from the day I met her. I shuddered just thinking about how she’d turned her nose up at me and would rarely speak to me at family gatherings. She knew I came from a lower-class family and despised me for it, preferring her precious son marry some Stanford or Yale graduate instead of little old me. And when she’d found out I was pregnant, that was another story. She’d had the gall to ask if Greg was sure the baby was even his and insinuated multiple times that he should get a DNA test.
Greg picked up many of his terrible, distrustful, and abusive qualities from her, and no way in hell was I naming my daughter after her.
“Skyler is a more fitting name for you, and I knew it from the moment I found out I was having a girl,” I told her. “But normally, yes, daddies get a say in naming babies, and it’s only right that we ask Mason what he thinks too.”
“Alright,” she said with a dramatic sigh. “I guess we’ll talk to him too.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get some say in the name,” I promised, pulling the blanket up higher on her. “But now, you need to get some sleep.”
“I’m just so excited, Mommy.”
I smiled, feeling a warmth in my heart. A familiar happiness I’d felt once I discovered I was pregnant with Skyler. “I’m excited too, honey, but we’ve got eight months to go. Do you know how long that is? You’ll almost be six by the time the baby is born.”
“I want the baby here sooner.”
“Oh no, we want the baby to stay put until he or she strong and healthy,” I said, instinctively putting a hand on my tummy. It was hard to believe that my belly was about to swell. Except for the occasional bouts of morning sickness, I hardly had any symptoms. Skyler had been an easy pregnancy too, so here’s hoping her brother or sister followed suit.
“Fine. I just wish the time would fly by,” she said. “Everything is so far away.”
Her sweet innocence. The youthful feeling of time passing by so slowly. One day, when she was older, she’d look back at this time and it would feel like it had flown by. Just like the years had flown by as a mother. It felt like only yesterday that Skyler was in my tummy, and here she was, almost ready to start kindergarten.
No, I didn’t want the time to go by quickly. I wanted it to slow down. I wanted to cherish these years with Skyler and the baby. I didn’t want either of them to grow up too fast, and I meant what I’d said - I wanted the baby to stay put, where it was safe.
Where no one could take him or her away from me.
Skyler’s eyes began to droop with sleep, and I sang to her softly until her breathing grew even and calm. I checked the time. It was only nine. How was it only nine? I was exhausted and ready to sleep myself.
I stepped out of the room, careful not to wake her again. I feared if she woke up for a third time, there’d be no sleep for anyone tonight. I wandered toward my bedroom when I remembered my cell phone. I had left it in the living room somewhere.
I grumbled as I turned around and went back to find it sitting on the coffee table. I picked it up and out of habit, turned on the screen to check for messages and missed calls. My phone was always on silent so I wouldn’t have heard it while taking care of Skyler.
And, to my dismay, there were missed calls. Several of them. And a text message to go along with it. All from Greg.
Call me now Danielle. I’m not joking.
I was too tired to deal with his bullshit tonight, so I closed the message and walked back to the bedroom. My phone vibrated in my hand.
Dammit, Greg.
I cancelled the call, but he called right back.
I stopped near the kitchen and debated what to do. I didn’t want to talk to him, I just wanted some sleep. I wanted him to leave me the hell alone.
Another text popped up on my screen. A chill ran down my spine as I read it.
Who was that man hugging you outside your house tonight?
God help me, Dani. Don’t make me come over there tonight.
My phone vibrated again, and I answered. I had no desire to deal with him in person.
I spoke quietly as I hurried away from the hallway and further from Skyler’s room. “Give me a second, I just got her to sleep and—”
“Who the fuck was that, Dani? Huh?”
I closed myself in the sunroom, far enough away from her room that she would hopefully not hear me and wake up again. My voice trembled as I spoke.
“He was a client, Greg, not that it’s any of your business,” I said. “How the hell did you even know someone was here?”
I had my suspicions that Greg had been out there, watching the house. But once I saw that it was Mason, I considered myself paranoid. Now I wondered if maybe I was right.
Maybe I hadn’t seen him, but he had been out there. Maybe he still was.
“A client? Bullshit. Unless you’re whoring yourself out, but then again, I wouldn’t be too surprised to find out that you were.”
I clenched my eyes shut. Do not cry, Danielle. Please do not cry. Don’t give him the satisfaction. You know he loves hurting you.
“He saw that I was upset and comforted me. I thought either you or Jim had been watching me, and I was scared. I broke down and he hugged me. That’s it.”
“I know you’re lying,” he said matter-of-factly, as if he knew the absolute truth.
“I’m not,” I said weakly. Yes, I was lying, but it was none of his business.
“You are,” he said sardonically. “You’re a liar and a whore. I can’t believe I ever had a child with you. I should have listened to my mother.”
I took a deep breath and counted to ten. I knew that if I argued, he’d just keep going, and his insults would become meaner and more personal. I had to be calm. I had to be the bigger person.
“I’m not lying, and I’m not a whore,” I said slowly. This was exactly why I couldn’t date or tell him about Mason, why I dreaded telling him about the baby.
“I need to revisit the custody agreement. I can’t have a whore raising my daughter. What kind of example are you setting?”
How does he know about the hug with Mason, I wondered? I wrapped myself in my arms around myself tightly. “How did you know someone was here?” I asked. “Are you watching me? Are there cameras?”
I began looking around the room wildly, suddenly fearful that he was watching me at that very second.
He laughed. “I have my ways, Danielle.”
The line went dead.
I stood there, looking around the room, trying to find a camera. When I couldn’t find it, I felt relieved, but only for an instant. When Mason and I hugged, there wasn’t another car on the road for miles in either direction, I was sure of it.
But Greg must have been out there. He had to have seen us. But how?
I knew he wouldn’t tell me, and it was yet another way he could control me. I shuddered. No, you can’t let him. Danielle, you need to break free from him.
I wasn’t sure how, but I would have to find a way.
He’d always been good to Skyler, but for how long? What would happen when she got older and started dating? Would he call her a whore too?
No, something had to give.
I had to find a way to break free from this asshole.
Mason
I strode up to the big, wooden doorway. I knew it was getting late, but the lights were still on inside the house. I tapped on the door, trying to be mostly quiet in case there were kids asleep.
What I wanted to do was bash the fucking door in, but I had calmed myself down in the truck. I had a plan of action. I wasn’t going to make things harder on Danielle by losing control of my temper.