“Let’s get started then,” I said, feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Ooo000ooo
“Ice cream!” Skyler took off ahead of me toward the ice cream shop.
I quickened my pace, and my stomach rumbled. I hadn’t felt well all day but told myself it was the stress. But now that I was done with the hard part and was relieved to be out of debt to the bank, I should have been feeling better. But I wasn’t.
Skyler got to the door before I did and tried to pull it open herself. It was a heavy, metal door and she couldn’t quite get it open. I stepped up behind her and laughed as we opened the door together.
“Good afternoon,” a woman’s voice greeted us from behind the counter. Mabel was a pudgy woman with her grey hair pulled back in a bun. Her smile was warm and welcoming. Such a welcomed respite after meeting with Jim King. “What can I get for you two fine ladies?”
She knew us fairly well, and she likely had Skyler’s order memorized, but she asked anyway. Mabel’s little ice cream shop had been a staple in the community ever since I was a young girl. She always seemed to remember exactly what I had wanted back in the day, but she knew that Skyler enjoyed ordering for herself, which was why she asked.
“Strawberry! Strawberry!” Skyler shouted as she bounced in front of me.
She’d been so good all day, sitting still to the best of her ability during my meeting with Jim. She could finally let out all that energy. She was so happy, and I loved seeing her happy.
“Strawberry it is!” Mabel said. “In a cone or a cup?”
“Cone, please,” Skyler said.
“Sugar or waffle?”
Skyler looked to me for that answer. To her, an ice cream cone was an ice cream cone, she didn’t know the different varieties yet.
“Sugar cone, please,” I said.
“And for you, Danielle?” Mabel asked.
I looked down at the ice cream options in front of me. So many flavors and choices, and not a single one sounded good to me. Still, I’d been looking forward to a treat all day and wasn’t about to deny myself one now.
“Cookies and cream, please,” I said. “In a cup. No cone for me, please.”
“Coming right up,” the old woman said with a smile.
She prepared our ice cream and handed it to us with a napkin. As soon as the smell hit my nostrils, however, I felt like I was going to be sick. I swallowed and paid for our treat.
It was a beautiful day outside, and I wanted to sit on the patio with my daughter, but the rumbling in my tummy made me nervous to venture too far from the bathroom. So we took the table closest to the restroom, just in case I had to make an emergency run.
Skyler dove right in, her face instantly smeared with strawberry ice cream.
I stared down at my little cup and frowned.
“What’s wrong, Mommy? Why aren’t you eating your ice cream?”
Not wanting to worry my daughter, I took a small spoonful of what was usually my favorite ice cream flavor. I moved the spoon toward my mouth and caught a whiff of the sweetness. My stomach twisted and turned, and I knew it had been a wise choice to sit near the bathroom. I dropped the spoon and rushed for the bathroom.
“Can you please watch her for a second?’ I hollered to Mabel.
“Certainly,” the woman said, concern etched on her face.
I opened the door to the bathroom and was barely on my knees in front of the toilet before everything I’d eaten that day came back up. I threw up until there was nothing left in my stomach, and then I dry heaved some more.
What is wrong with me, I wondered.
I didn’t want to leave Skyler out there too long, so as soon as I felt like I could stand, I pushed myself up from the floor. I cleaned up and went back into the lobby.
“Thank you, Mabel,” I said.
“Are you okay, dear?”
“I’m fine, just a lot of stress at the moment.” I took my seat across from Skyler, who was halfway done with her ice cream already. Mine was melting in my cup.
I pushed the cup away, and Skyler frowned. “Would you like mine better?”
She pushed her cone in front of my face, and once again, that sweetness hit my nose and I thought I might vomit all over the table. I pushed it away and shook my head. “No thank you, sweetie. Mommy doesn’t want ice cream after all.”
“But you love ice cream,” Skyler said, a frown on her pretty face.
“I know, but I’m not in the mood for it today.”
I’m always in the mood for ice cream, I told myself. It was easily one of my favorite foods. I lived for Mabel’s ice cream growing up, and it was always one of my favorite places to visit after having a hard day. The only time I hadn’t been able to eat Mabel’s ice cream was when I was pregnant with Skyler.
“Oh no,” I said out loud without realizing it.
“What’s wrong, Mommy?”
Skyler had finished her ice cream, having bitten through the bottom of the cone and making a complete mess of herself. Ice cream was all over her face and shirt. I grabbed some napkins and began cleaning her up.
“We have to make a stop before picking up Oscar,” I said. “Let’s get you cleaned up and head out, okay honey?”
“Okay, Mommy.”
I was so blessed with this little angel for a daughter. She was my whole world.
But I wasn’t sure I could handle anymore right now.
Ooo000ooo
Skyler’d had a long day, and when it was time to put her to bed, she went down easily. Oscar was laying on the floor beside her, and Zeus was curled up on her pillow. Her little arm wrapped around the little dog, and as much as Zeus didn’t care for most people, he didn’t mind his girl cuddling with him. In fact, he seemed to like it.
I shut the door most of the way, leaving it open a crack in case she called for me in the night, and walked down to the bathroom connected to my room. With a sigh, I pulled out the paper bag from the pharmacy where we’d stopped after ice cream. Skyler had asked me so many questions about what I was buying, and while I didn’t lie, I wasn’t exactly truthful either. I couldn’t get her hopes up.
My period was late, but it was irregular anyway. A few days late, I hardly even paid attention. But that was before I’d had unprotected sex with Mason a month ago. When I was celibate, there was no need to keep track of my cycle and worry about things like this.
Dammit, Danielle, what did you do?
I was on the pill, but since I hadn’t had sex in years, I sometimes forgot about it. I should have been more careful, but it was too late for that now.
I had to see if my one bad decision would come with consequences.
I opened the pregnancy test and read the instructions three times before it finally registered. I did what I had to do, sitting the little test on the sink next to me, and waited.
I couldn’t sit still, so I paced my bedroom, nibbling at my fingernails.
What if I am pregnant? What would that mean for me and Sky?
What would it mean for me and Mason?
Shit. Mason. I hardly knew the man. What if he didn’t want kids? Obviously, we hadn’t talked about it, since we weren’t dating or even thinking about dating, but suddenly, it felt like vital information I needed an answer to.
What would he do when he found out?
I remembered that Greg was ecstatic, but that was no surprise. We were actively trying for Skyler. Now that I could look back on it in hindsight, I realized it had been a trap. He’d thought if we had a child together, I would never leave his abusive ass. His entire personality changed once we got the results of the pregnancy test. I was no longer a free woman. I was his woman - just as Jim had described me earlier. He controlled me from that day forward.
I believed Mason was different, though. Was he? I hardly knew him. How could I make statements like that when I hardly knew the guy?
The alarm on my phone went off, vibrating in my hand. Time to face the music.
I walked into the bathroom and found the test where I’d left it. With a sigh, I picked it up and read the results, checking the paper to be sure I was reading it right.
Pregnant.
Shit.
I had to sit down. I sat on the toilet seat and tried to focus on my breathing. I needed to relax.
It’s going to be okay, Danielle. You can handle this. You’re a hell of a mom to Skyler, and you’re doing it alone. You can handle two babies by yourself.
But Mason… Shit.
I had to tell him. There was no way I could hide it in a town as small as ours, and even if I could, I knew it wasn’t right.
Eventually, I’d have to tell Greg too, but that scared me even more. Everything about Greg scared me, but I pushed that out of my mind for the time being.
One man at a time, Danielle.
My hands were shaking as I typed a quick message to Mason.
Hey, are you up?
It felt like an eternity, but it was only about two minutes until a response lit up my screen.
I am, what’s up?
I took a deep breath. This wasn’t something we could discuss over text. Not even a phone call would do. No, I had to see him and break the news to him in person.
Can you come over? We need to talk.
He responded, Sure. Now?
Yes, if that’s possible. The sooner the better.
I’ll be right there.
Ooo000ooo
“What is it?” Mason asked as soon as I opened the door. “Are you okay? Is Skyler okay?”
He rushed into the house, looking around. Griz ran into the room and barked at what he thought was an intruder, but as soon as he saw Mason, his entire body started wiggling. Oscar was right behind him and managed to push past Grizzly to get to Mason first. Zeus could be heard down the hallway, barking.