Degradation(45)

"The feeling is entirely mutual," she replied, and before her father could respond, she swept from the room.

She was actually trembling as she stomped up the stairs. She stood in  her room for a while, but she didn't want anything in there. Didn't care  about her new clothing. She walked down to Ellie's room and didn't even  bother to knock, just burst inside. Robert was laying on the bed and  Ellie was standing next to him. Both gasped at her entrance.

"What are you doing!?" Ellie asked, startled by the brash entrance.

"I'm getting the fuck out of here. Come with me," Tate said quickly. Robert sat up, shaking his head and mumbling something.

"Tate, I know you don't -," Ellie started, but Tate shook her head.

"Last chance. Come with me," she offered again.

There was silence, and then Ellie's eyes flicked to her husband. He  shook his head again and Ellie sighed, turning back towards her sister.  Tate nodded and walked out of the room. At least the going would be a  lot quicker now. She breezed through the house, ignoring Jameson when he  called out to her. She was halfway to the guest house when Sanders  caught up to her.

"Can I help you with anything, Ms. O'Shea?" he asked quickly, jogging up to her side.

"Nope, Sandy, I'm good," she replied, walking through the guest house front door.

"Alright. Are you looking for something?" he asked again while she stood there, her eyes roaming over the entry way.

"Keys."

"Keys to what, may I ask?"

"The car."

"Our car?"

"That's the one."

"I'm sorry," Sanders tried again. "Did you want to go somewhere? I'd be happy to drive you."

"That's okay. I actually do know how to drive, you know, and where I  want to go takes a while," she told him, walking up to a small desk and  pulling the drawers open, rummaging around in them.

"I don't mind a long drive. I would be very happy to take you anywhere," he assured her. She glanced at him.

"Boston. I would like you to drive me to Boston," she said plainly. He hesitated, and then nodded.

"Alright, ma'am. If you'll wait right here, I'll bring the car around," Sanders said, and then took off back out the door.

Tate was a little stunned for a minute, and wondered if he was joking.  But Sanders never joked, so she sat down on a decorative stool. She was  too tired to stand anymore. It was taking every muscle she had to keep  herself upright. She wanted to fold in on herself.

Waste of time.

"So we're leaving?" Jameson's voice was soft in the doorway. She laughed, not bothering to lift her head.

"Tattle-tale," she whispered.

"He's my assistant. He's not going to drive to Boston without at least  telling me he's going to be busy for a couple hours, or seven," Jameson  pointed out. She nodded.

"Yup. Should've thought of that," she replied.

"I understand running away from your family. But trying to skip out on  me, that surprises me," he said, moving so he was standing in front of  her.

"I wasn't in the mood to hear you gloat. Not today, not right now," she  explained. He sighed and put his hands on her knees. She still refused  to look at him.

"How about, if you let me come with you, I promise to keep my gloating to myself until we get home," he offered. She laughed.

"I don't trust you to honor that promise," she joked. He tilted her head up to face him.

"You said you trusted me," Jameson reminded her.

"I trust that you'll be consistent. You're consistently mean," Tate pointed out. He laughed.

"Yes, but I also consistently keep my promises. Move your ass, we're out  of here," he said before turning and walking out the door.         

     



 

Tate went and waited on the front porch. She saw Ellie peeking out a  window, but she moved away before Tate could make any sort of motion.  Sanders pulled the car up right afterwards and he hopped out, running  around to open the door for her. Before she could climb in, though, he  held out a fist. She raised her eyebrows.

"For you, ma'am. I assumed you were serious," was all he said. She held  out her hand and he dropped two pills in to it. She stared in to her  palm, almost laughing. Xanax.

"Sandy, I think you treat me better than anyone I've ever known," she chuckled, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek.

"I have no doubt of that, Ms. O'Shea," he replied before helping her in to the car.

She dry swallowed the pills and waited for Jameson to appear. It took  about fifteen minutes, and then he was striding out the door, carrying  both their bags. Her mother trailed after him, saying something that  Tate couldn't hear. Jameson just ignored her, climbed in to the back  seat next to Tate. He didn't say anything, just nodded his head towards  the rear view mirror. Sanders started up the car and pulled away.

"Did you talk to any of them?" Tate asked, staring out her window.

"Yes. I told your father that the only good thing he ever did in his  life was produce a very fuckable daughter," Jameson replied. She burst  out laughing.

"You're not serious."

"Dead serious. I also added that you're a very good person, sometimes. I  told your mother that I would gladly pay for her rehab, and I warned  Robert that if I came across Ellie anytime soon with another bruise, I  wouldn't bother breaking his jaw again, I would just rip it clean off,"  he told her.

They weren't his family. As far as she knew, Jameson didn't really have  much of a family. Mother died when he was young, father died a couple  years ago. No siblings. No close cousins. Only Sanders. And he seemed to  like it that way. So she couldn't figure out why he was bothering with  her family, when she didn't even bother with them. It had started out as  a game, a dare for her to undertake, but he had gone above and beyond  that  –  he had made a mess, and he had done his best to clean it up. She  was impressed. She felt a little like crying.

And when he reached over and clasped her hand  –  something he had never  done before  –  Tate couldn't hold back the tears from streaming down her  face. She would have been embarrassed, but the xanax made her not care.  All she could focus on was his hand. His strong fingers, linked through  hers. She squeezed his hand, so hard it hurt. So hard, she wouldn't be  able to let go, not ever again.

Why did everything feel so different?

Because everything is different.





~11~


"Tatum."

"Yes, my liege?"

"Shut up."

"How can I answer you and -,"

"Why do you let me treat you the way I do?"

"I told you, I like it."

"I would kill another man for talking to you the way I talk to you."

"That's very sweet."

"Do you think there's something wrong with me, treating you the way I do?"

"Not necessarily. It's consensual. Empowering."

"Empowering?"

"Yes. You have the power to hold me down, say things, call me names.  Slut. Bitch. But I have the power to say stop. End it all. Your power is  an illusion. Mine is real."

"Sounds kind of backwards. I could just make you do whatever I want, regardless of whether or not you say stop."

"That's why I don't do all of that with just anybody. I trust you. You wouldn't do that."

"You're very trusting of me."

"Look, I like it. You like doing it. That's why we fit so well together most of the time."

"Too well."

"You want this to end? Just say the word."

"It's not that easy anymore."

"Why not?"

"You accomodate me too much."

"How so?"

"The things ..., the things I want to do to you."

"What do you want to do?"

"So many things."

"So do them."

"That's part of the problem."

"Jameson. I keep waiting for you to let go, to just do whatever it is you want to do."

"People say that, and then later change their mind."

"Ooohhh, the mysterious ex. What did she go back on?"

"She said she wanted me to do something. I did it. It got thrown in my face. I don't want that to happen again."

"I, Tatum O'Shea, solemnly swear not to -,"

"When Robert hit you, you were angry. You didn't like it."

"There is a big difference between an abusive asshole knocking me to the  ground, and you slapping me. You know me, I ask you to do it, we have  sex. You don't want to hurt me, you want to fulfill me."         

     



 

"Mmm, fulfill you. I like that."

"Is this a game?"

"No games, Tatum."

"What are we, if we don't have games?"

"Something else."





~12~


Jameson convinced her to stay with him for the next two weeks. That  first night back, she had fallen asleep in the car, so he carried her up  to his room. He stayed awake, watching her sleep. It was easy to forget  while they played their little games, but she really was a very  beautiful girl. Soft. Delicate.