Nick released her chin and pulled her under his arm, resting back on the sofa. “How much is it?”
“His life insurance is a hundred grand. I don’t know how much the other stuff is worth. The lawyer had a bunch of papers with valuation estimates and stuff, but I was too spun to think about it. I have them in the car. But it’s the store—there’s some kind of mortgage on it. The shop inventory and the van. And his house—that was his family vacation place, one of the little cottages in Quiet Summers Estates. It’s not much, but that was paid for when he inherited it.”
He nodded, and Bev could tell, looking up from his shoulder, that he was thinking. As he thought, his fingers traced the bare skin of her arm, making a slow, sensual circle. She sighed deeply, beginning to think of other things than what Chris had left her or why.
“Before you go, I’ll have Fred take a look at the valuations and any other papers the lawyer gave you. He’ll be able to tell you what’s yours, free and clear. And then you’ll decide what you want to do. It’s up to you, bella. Like I said, you don’t need any of it.”
“I’m still not working.” That was something she hadn’t yet been able to motivate herself to do. She knew for sure she never wanted to be a waitress again, and she hadn’t been able to figure out what else to do. She was making fifty bucks a week teaching her yoga class for the condo association. She owned the condo free and clear, but otherwise, she was living on Nick’s dime—which he loved, and with which she was becoming too comfortable.
As if to prove her point and to reiterate his, he said, “You don’t have to work. You know that.”
“I do need to work. I’m just having trouble getting ready. Maybe a job I wouldn’t have to interview for would be a good thing. Something I’m in charge of.”
“Wait—are you thinking about running the bookshop?”
Until he said it out loud, she hadn’t fully comprehended that yes, she was thinking exactly that. Now that she saw it, she liked it. It could be a way to remember Chris as she’d known him. The way their friendship had been through her eyes. She thought of the last day they’d really been close, sitting behind the sales desk, eating peach pie. That afternoon had ended badly for them, but they’d started it as friends.
“Would that be silly?”
“Have you ever managed a business?”
No, she had not. She’d been a waitress. A sales clerk. A receptionist. All of them, many times over. She’d never managed anything. “No.”
He was quiet, thinking again, and she finally ended the silence with a huff. “It’s silly. I can’t do it.”
“Stop that. If that’s what you want, we’ll hire somebody to help you. Somebody who knows the business.”
She liked that idea. “Okay. Yeah. But not…you know…” She lost her nerve before the next word came out. It had been stupid to start the sentence at all.
His eyes darkened, and she knew that he could see where she’d been headed. He asked anyway. “Not what?”
“Never mind.”
“One and only time for this conversation, Beverly. Say it.”
“Not a…wiseguy.”
He laughed, but there was a bite at its end. “How about a bentnose? A button? A goodfella? You watch too much television, bella.”
“You don’t use those words?”
“They’re used about us. We call ourselves Paganos. To your point, we don’t mix business and family. Now that I’ve told you that, you remember it, and you trust it. If you decide to keep the bookshop, my business won’t be part of it.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t ask questions about my business again.”
She didn’t like his tone. Often she found his simple imperatives endearing, and the confident power behind them hot. But this was a different kind of order, and there was a threat behind it. That pissed her off. A whole lot. “What happened at the diner, what those men did to me—that was your business mixing in my life. I spent a month with a wiseguy shadowing my every move, sitting in my apartment, eating my food, because your business was in my life. And still I got raped and butchered by men in your business. So don’t pull attitude because I don’t want it to happen again.”
Nick’s face had gone completely slack. She had never seen such an expression of dumb shock on him before.
He didn’t seem prepared to say anything. She really was angry, so angry her heart was pulsing in her ears. It actually felt kind of good. It was exhilarating, such a pure surge of powerful emotion.