“Because you act like you want more one minute, but then the next you’re gathering your clothes and running from my room like your ass is on fire.” She chose now to grab the sheet that was halfway hanging off the bed and covered her body. “I’m just gonna say this once, Zack, and you can take it or leave it.”
And here comes the ultimatum.
“You can stay and we can pretend this moment never happened, going back to where we were only moments ago, or…” she paused as she did her best to control her irritation. “Or you can leave and when you decide you need a warm body to screw, I may not be here waiting for you.”
I stood in the doorway holding the handle as I stared back at this girl.
Some would say I was an idiot not to take full advantage of her willingness to please me. But those assholes had no idea what they were talking about.
“And I’m gonna tell you the same thing I’ve told you the last three times you’ve pitched that same threat.” I twisted the handle and pulled the door open, stepping just outside before looking back over my shoulder. “I don’t fucking bow down to anyone who throws threats my way.”
I shut the door and only seconds later, I heard the familiar thud of Haven throwing something at the door, likely imagining it was my head she was hitting.
Chapter 8
One Year Later
Lindsay
“Lindsay,” my grandma hollered from down the hall. I was just stepping from the bathroom when I spotted her, holding Camden, rocking side to side.
A smile pulled at my lips at the sight of them. My grams had become my rock over the last year. Without her, I am not sure I could have gotten through it all. My pregnancy was a breeze, but my depression was horrible.
I had pushed away everyone and everything. I hated to admit it, but I even lost touch with Taylor—that was my own fault. I gave up on everything and hid within myself. I finished school and prepared for the birth of my son, Camden Zachary Lauss.
He was born at 3:19 in the morning on June 7th, weighing in at 6 lbs, 8 oz. He was healthy, happy, and everything about him reminded me of his father.
Camden was now five months and four days old. I didn’t have much experience with babies, but I knew he was a blessing, so easy to please. He rarely cried, always cooed, and slept like a rock. From what Grams said, he was the complete opposite of me as a baby. I’d decided he must have gotten his calm demeanor from his daddy.
Grams looked up and smiled. “He just woke up. He’s been changed and now he’s ready for lunch. Granny doesn’t have the goods, so now its momma’s turn to take over.”
She passed him to me and we walked toward his room, taking a seat in the rocker by the window.
I positioned him and he latched on like a champ. From the moment I first saw his sweet cheeks I was sunk. I fell into the deepest kind of love with my little man. I had never loved something or someone as much as I loved Camden. He was the reason I woke up in the morning; he was the reason I pushed hard every day to complete my dreams.
I’d enrolled in Southern Illinois University in Carbondale after he was born. I was going to fulfill my aspirations of becoming an elementary school teacher, and nothing would stop me from giving my son a great life.
I thought about Zack a lot, still to this day. It hurt that he was able to walk away knowing I was carrying his child without a second thought.
At times I wanted to track him down and tell him what an ass he was. Other times I just found myself hoping he had found what he was looking for and his life was what he hoped it would be.
Did I feel guilty that he had a son who would never know him? Yes, sometimes, but he was the one who cut ties. He made it perfectly clear that an abortion was the route he wanted me to take, and when Haven gave me a money order with Zack’s illegible signature, I lost my last thread of hope that he would change his mind about our baby. He wanted it all to go away, so I gave him his wish. Once, after Camden was born, I attempted to track him down so I could at least tell him we had a healthy boy, but I got nowhere fast, so I gave up.
It was hard to find him when he never gave me any specifics. I figured that was because he didn’t want to be found. So I gave him that and moved on without him.
If one day Camden asked about his father, I would tell him. I’d let him know his daddy is a hero who fights for our country to keep us all safe. I would also tell him that he was an important part of my life for a brief time, and that he was kind and strong. There was no reason to taint the image of Zack in my son’s mind.
I’d made up my mind I would never tell him anything bad about his dad, because he was good to me, for a short time. All the other details weren’t necessary for Camden to know.