“Where do you think spring water comes from? Subterranean rivers are a real thing, Raven. The world is bigger than you imagine it to be.”
I shivered. “So I’m learning.”
We continued at a sedate pace, Christian impervious to the biting chill. His teeth weren’t chattering like mine were, and he made no effort to squeeze the ends of his drenched T-shirt. The walkway bordered one side of the river, and the light in the distance glittered off the murky water like fireflies in the dark.
Christian slicked his hair back. “In Xanadu did Kubla Khan, a stately pleasure-dome decree: Where Alph, the sacred river, ran through caverns measureless to man, down to a sunless sea.”
“That’s pretty. What’s it from?”
“Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Jaysus, didn’t your schools teach literature?”
“We read Shakespeare and learned the anatomy of oysters. I guess it wasn’t in the budget. Do you think he was talking about this place?”
Christian wiped the droplets of water off his beard. “He wrote it while high on opium. Chances are slim to none.”
I touched my chest, relieved my necklace hadn’t fallen off. “Can we sit down? Just for a minute?”
He looked in both directions. “Aye. Just for a moment.” Christian led me to a stone slab within a recessed wall.
“I changed my mind,” I said, collapsing onto the rock.
“For feck’s sake. We just sat down.”
“Not about that. About my father.” I shivered hard when the cold air licked over my skin.
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t want to end up like Shepherd with unresolved issues. At first, he was the poster boy for closing the door to my past. But I can’t. It’s eating away at me. My father won’t live forever, and it’ll be the biggest regret of my life if I don’t see him one last time.”
“Even if it means him despising what you’ve become?”
I squeezed the end of my wet tank top. “Even if it means him not loving me anymore. I never got the chance to say good-bye. I need him to know that I didn’t seek out to hurt him. He deserves to know how great of a father he was and how ungrateful of a daughter I was.”
Tears welled in my eyes but easily blended in on my wet face.
Christian put his arm around me. “Did you know penguins huddle for warmth?”
I laughed against his shoulder. “You spend too much time reading encyclopedias.”
“Every man needs a hobby.”
“Is that where you learned your mating technique?”
“You’re one to talk, praying mantis.”
“The men I lured into bathrooms weren’t prospective lovers.”
He reached around and squeezed the ends of my wet hair in front. “Neither are the women I bed. They’re just… recreational. Lover is a serious word. It implies commitment and devotion.”
“I thought that was marriage.”
“That’s an archaic tradition for humans. Some Breeds mate or bond, but that requires exclusivity.”
“Lovers aren’t exclusive?”
His thumb traced across my clavicle. “Haven’t you ever taken a lover?”
The air between us crackled.
I no longer had the fear of him charming me and stared deep into his bottomless eyes. Maybe it was foolish to trust a Vampire, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away. His dark lashes matched his hair, and serious eyebrows framed his black eyes. Despite being a Vampire, he had wolfish characteristics. I tried to imagine how handsome his blue eyes must have been against his roguish features, but I couldn’t. Black eyes were the only color that seemed fitting for Christian, and there wasn’t anything wrong with that. They had a luster and mystery to them all their own.
“Will you take me to see him?”
“Aye, Precious. I’ll make good on my promise.”
My voice fell to a whisper. “Why do you have this effect on me?”
The pad of his thumb smoothed over my lips, and he looked upon me with fascination. “Your lips are soft.”
I got up and walked away. “We can’t do this.”
Christian appeared out of nowhere and pinned me to the wall, dark hunger simmering in his gaze. “You are torturously beautiful. I need to taste you.”
I flattened my back against the wall as he loomed even closer. “You can’t have my blood.”
He leaned in, his voice silken. “That’s not what I want to taste.”
The water lifted a scent off him that I couldn’t get enough of. He gazed at me like a predator until our lips touched…
And melted me where I stood.
Christian didn’t kiss me tenderly, but with fire. He cupped my nape and stepped closer until our bodies joined.
When our tongues met, I quivered with need. Best of all, I could touch him without the fear of my sexual energy knocking him out. No sparks that came from my fingertips compared to the electricity I felt when wrapped in his arms. Christian tasted just as I’d imagined.
And oh God, how I’d imagined it.
His lips were soft but insistent, like a man who knew when to take what he wanted and yet savored the hunt. I moaned, clawing at his shirt as if we were still in that river. He gripped the corner of the wall, and the rock crumbled beneath his fingertips, reminding me of his incredible power. Yet he held me like an ordinary man.
When I nibbled on his bottom lip, Christian grabbed my ass and pulled me against him, his erection demanding and hard against my belly. He was several inches taller than me, even more since I didn’t have my shoes on. I stood on my tiptoes—one leg hooked around his—and as he deepened the kiss, something came over me.
Déjà vu.
My fangs elongated, and he stroked one of them with the tip of his tongue.
I drew back to catch my breath. “It’s your blood, isn’t it? That’s what’s making me feel this way.”
The sound of rushing water drowned out my racing heart.
Christian stroked my cheek, his lips still swollen from my kiss. “It’s not the blood.”
“Then why is this so familiar? Why does it feel like I’ve tasted your kiss before?”
He drew in a deep breath. “Because you have.”
I searched his eyes.
Christian inclined his head, his hands on my shoulders. “I can’t lie to you anymore. You made me promise, but it was an unfair thing to do. I’m going back on a favor because it’s not right.”
“What’s not right?” I asked warily.
“We kissed before. Intimately. Passionately.”
I shook my head slowly. “No, we haven’t.”
“Aye, we have.” He cupped my head in his hands, and his gaze reeled me in. “Remember everything, Raven. The wall is coming down. Oceans.”
The moment he said the word “oceans” without breaking eye contact, a flood of memories filled my mind. Restored memories. The training room, throwing myself at Christian… Our kiss. That sensual, erotic kiss where he pinned me to the wall and I wanted him to take me. I’d never known that kind of insatiable desire. The kiss hadn’t been as slow burning and shattering as the one we’d just shared; it was chaotic and consumed with primal need. We’d crashed into each other like two comets in the night. I remembered the argument afterward and asking him to scrub my memory of the kiss. It would have been impossible for me to work beside a man that I’d felt that measure of lust for, but his scrubbing my memory of the kiss never erased my desire for him as I’d hoped. It was always there, simmering beneath the surface. Only now did I realize that it wasn’t our kiss that had made me want him—it was my wanting him that led to the kiss.
My heart constricted, filled with the sting of deceit. “How can I ever trust you?” I shoved him away. “I feel like such a fool!”
“No, Raven. I’m the fool for agreeing to such a request.”
“Then why did you do it?”
“Because if I hadn’t, you would have walked away from Keystone.”
I tilted my head to one side. “Isn’t that what you wanted all along? So you did this out of the goodness of your own heart? That’s bullshit. You didn’t like me back then, and I’m still not really sure what this is,” I said, motioning between us. “What else did you erase?”
He held up his hands. “That’s all. I swear on my immortal soul.”
I covered my eyes and threw my head back. “We can’t keep doing this. I don’t think I can handle a casual relationship with my partner.”
“Define casual.”
I dropped my arms. “Making out. Sharing blood. Cuddling. Sitting in the bathtub together. Casual.”
“Afraid it’ll crush your dreams of becoming a do-gooder? A respectable member of society? Would you really leave Keystone over something so trivial?”
I pressed my finger against his chest. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You’re stringing my emotions along, and I should know better than to feel anything for a man who treats love like a venereal disease.”
He gently took my arm and stepped close. “And what exactly do you feel for me?”
I wrenched away. “That’s not fair.”
And it wasn’t. Christian couldn’t expect me to disclose my emotions for his own amusement. Vampires used the truth against people. Now my feelings about him were a tangled mess. I wasn’t foolish enough to expect him to reciprocate, but in that moment—when I felt the most betrayed—I realized by the clenching of my heart and tightening in my chest that I really did love him. That silent admission made me curse my stupidity for falling for a guy who would mock me for it.