“Not if you give me my letter.”
He stared at me. He didn’t so much as twitch as he unwaveringly held my gaze. “Nice try. Now tell me what’s really bothering you.”#p#分页标题#e#
“That is what’s bothering me! Give me my letter and we can call quits on this whole dumb situation.”
“You’re the worst fucking liar I’ve ever met, Darcy Hamilton.”
“Carly Banks!” I yelled her name, and both words tasted like venom. I inhaled sharply as soon as they were out and wrapped my arms around my stomach. “I saw you. In your office. Yesterday.”
“How long were you there for?”
“Long enough that I know what I saw.”
“And what was that? What did you see?”
“You kissing her!” I ran my fingers through my hair, one arm still hugging my waist. “That’s all I needed to see. You blackmailed me and pinned me down to a piece-of-shit monogamous agreement that meant you owned me, but the whole time, you’ve been going around, fucking another woman! Another teacher!”
He came toward me, but I backed up until I was against the wall. He didn’t stop walking. He simply kept moving until he was against me and I had nowhere to go.
“Perhaps, if you’d stayed another ten seconds, you’d have also seen me pushing Carly away. Perhaps, if you’d stayed, you’ve have seen me tell her that there’s nothing between us and that she should leave. Then you’d have seen me demand she leave.”
I glared at him. “I don’t care. I don’t believe for a second that you’ve followed the rules you set out for me.”
“That’s why you did the show, isn’t it? You were spiting me.”
“Fucking right I was! You can do what you want, yet I’m restrained to the boundaries of a thirteen-year-old girl? Are you for real?”
Jordan pushed back. “Have I had a sexual relationship with Carly? Yes. Have I been with her since we began our sexual relationship?” He paused. “Once. Have I been with her since? No.”
“You—oh my God!” I fisted my hair. “When?”
“After you asked me about Amanda.”
“Fuck,” I whispered, covering my eyes. After we’d had sex.
Why does it hurt so fucking much?
“I hate you,” I said, dropping my hands and staring at him. “I hate you so much. All of this—all of this shit, and for what? Fuck it. Keep the goddamn letter. I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want a single thing from you.”
He swept his arm out and grabbed me. I lashed out at him, my heart clenching painfully, but he was much stronger than I was. He circled my body with his arms and held me against him. My face was buried in his chest, and his signature scent—like fresh coffee beans and cinnamon—wrapped itself around me. I breathed him in, letting his very essence fill me up.
For a moment, I forgot that it hurt. Whatever it was.
“Darcy,” he murmured into my hair. “Listen to me. Five minutes, and then, if you want to leave, you can. And you can take your letter with you.”
“Are you serious?” My voice was nothing but the barest whisper. I turned my head to the side.
“Absolutely. I just ask that you let me explain.”
His heart pounded against my cheek. It was a quick beat, like it had been spiked by adrenaline. Or maybe just emotion. All I knew was that my heart was beating just as desperately.
“Five minutes,” I agreed.
Jordan’s chest heaved as he took a deep breath. He loosened his grip on me and stepped back. “You know that Amanda died. What you don’t know is how that changed me. Suddenly, I had no one to look after anymore. No one to put to bed when they’d passed out on the sofa with an empty vodka bottle. No one’s liquor bottles to dispose of in various places so the problem wasn’t exposed. I hadn’t just lost my wife. I’d lost my purpose.” He let me go completely and rubbed his hand across his chin. His eyes were tortured.#p#分页标题#e#
“You’ve never spoken about it, have you?”
He shook his head. “I had to leave Colorado. I traveled for a year, looking for a job. I got lucky here. I happened to be in New York when I got the offer. It was a…simple choice. I’d always loved the Chicago area.” He put his hands on his hips and paced slowly. “I closed off from everyone. I refused to allow anyone close enough to me to have any kind of a personal relationship. I got wrapped up in base desires. It was sex. Pure and simple. Then I found Dalton Cam Girls.” He stopped walking and looked at me. “It was fucking perfect. I didn’t have to have any kind of relationship with anyone.”