“I wasn’t alone, all right?” I finally snapped. “That’s all you want to know. That’s all you need to know. Now, give it a rest.” I grabbed my purse from where I’d put it down on the counter and looked back at Jenna. “Don’t worry about the coffee. I’ll get some from Starbucks.”#p#分页标题#e#
I stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my room. The door slammed behind me, a wave of weakness hit me, and I stumbled backward into the door. The handle rammed into my lower back. Pain radiated through my body, and tears stung the backs of my eyes as my purse hit the floor with a gentle thud.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I put my hand over the sore part of my back and leaned against the door. My knees wobbled, giving out at the exact moment tears escaped my eyes.
I tried to convince myself that they weren’t tears, that my eyes were just watering from the pain. But, deep down, I knew I was wrong. I was so wrong. The accumulation of everything over the past several days, how quickly everything had escalated, was coming at me like a freight train. Except this freight train had veered off the tracks and was skidding across the ice… But I was the ice, and I was straining under the weight of it.
I sat there for a while, allowing the tears to fall. Crying was as close to therapy as I was gonna get, and I clearly needed it. By the time my eyes had dried, I felt much better. The stress had evaporated out into the air as the tears dripped off my cheeks and soaked into my tank top.
I felt like I was ready to face the world again.
A check of the time told me that I still had an hour before I had to think about leaving for class. I knew that Jenna and Bella had already left, which I was glad about, because I felt a little guilty for having yelled at Bella the way I had. She was just being her usual nosy self, and usually, I didn’t mind, but this time…
I knew I couldn’t tell anyone about me and Jordan. I couldn’t even tell them his name. I should have, really. Maybe if they’d asked me several days ago, I might have. Maybe if the only thing he’d ever done to me was kiss me or even after that first time I had gone to his house, I might have told them.
But now… Now, I had an urge to protect him. To protect myself. I didn’t understand it, but what I did understand was that the hatred I’d harbored so intensely had disappeared. He wasn’t the coldhearted asshole I’d wanted to punch in the face. He was a man living with the pain of his past, taking it day by day.
You couldn’t argue with a man who was an asshole for no other reason than to keep on living.
I would have been a hypocrite if I’d hated him for that. After all—I was a cam girl for that very same reason.
I forced myself to stand before swiping at my cheeks to wipe away any remaining traces of emotion. That was it—that was the feeling I was allowing myself today. Heartless Bitch would resume momentarily.
I opened my bedroom door and almost kicked over the mug of coffee sitting on the floor. It was still steaming and had dripped onto the piece of paper beneath it on the carpet. I bent down with a small frown to pick it up.
Sorry. Bella x
I smiled a little and picked it up. Once I’d shut my door and set the mug on my dresser, I grabbed my phone and texted her to say thank you and apologize too. My notifications showed that I had two e-mails, so I sat cross-legged on my bed and brought my inbox up. One was from Jordan, the other from a Christina Wilson. I had no idea who she was, and the subject line was empty. It had every marking of a spam e-mail, so I deleted it and opened Jordan’s.
To:
[email protected]
From:
[email protected]
Subject: Lines…
Darcy,
I overstepped them. But so did you by not saying goodbye. I had to drink your coffee.
J
I took a deep breath and hit reply.
To:
[email protected]
From:
[email protected]
#p#分页标题#e#
Subject: Yes…
Dear Professor,
Yes, you did. No more late-night rendezvouses, thank you very much. I’d prefer if it was a fuck-and-run situation in the future.
Xoxo, Darcy.
To:
[email protected]
From:
[email protected]
Subject: You run?
Darcy,
Fuck, food, run. How does that sound?
J
To:
[email protected]
From:
[email protected]
Subject: I’m a sprinter.
Dear Professor,
Fuck, food, fuck, run, and you have a deal.
Xoxo, Darcy.
To:
[email protected]
From:
[email protected]
Subject: Really.
Darcy,
I’ll amend the agreement…
J
I shook my head and closed the app. I was running out of time to get ready for class, and I didn’t want to continue that conversation any longer. If I had to stay with him for food, then, well, yeah. Another fuck may as well happen.