“And he doesn’t know that you know?”
At my nod, she continued.
“Have you tried asking him? Or hinting that you know, at the very least?”
“That seems too easy.”
“Well, then you sleep with a guy you know is in a relationship.”
“That also seems too easy.”
“Precisely.” She flicked her hair over her shoulder and pointed at me with her mascara wand. “And that, my sweet friend, is why we don’t have real-life interactions with our clients. It’s also why we don’t have relationships with people outside of this secretive little world. It’s too…fucky-fucky.”
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“Is fucky-fucky a technical term? Can I quote you on that?”
“Only in the context of a review.” She grinned while she brushed black over her lashes. “You know what I mean. That’s exactly why you and Jake never ended up together.”
I sighed once more. “I know. Is it bad that, sometimes, I wish I could go back and give him another answer?”
“No. I think all the time that I’d like to go back and go on that second date. Or not have an accidental threesome with another guy’s brother.”
Only Jenna.
“I think it’s natural. This job isn’t for the fainthearted, and we all knew that when we signed up.” Now, she sighed as she screwed the mascara wand back into the tube. She dropped it into the bag with a fair bit of flair then leaned on the dresser to look at me. “I keep thinking that, when I graduate, I’ll owe very little and I won’t have to leave the Chicago area. I can stay here, where I’m happy, get a job, and then find a real relationship. The day we did this, we sold our souls to the sex industry. But only for three years, and that’s important to remember. Nine months and we have a real chance at getting out of this. It’s just a job. It doesn’t have to be our career.”
“You’re right. As always.” I smiled, but my heart wasn’t in it.
I didn’t think she noticed, though, as she quickly kissed me on the top of the head and grabbed her stuff before running out. I watched after her with a longing look.
I wanted to log onto the site and perform. Wanted so badly to get into my favorite lingerie and bring some horny, bored people a little bit of happiness. But I couldn’t. I could only sit there and wonder if I’d get an e-mail or if I was free to do as I pleased.
Jenna was wrong. I hadn’t sold my soul to the sex industry.
I’d sold it to my history professor.
And I hadn’t charged him nearly enough for it.
Dear Professor, I wish you’d never seen me. Xoxo, Darcy
A new day brought with it a blank slate of emotions. As if that hadn’t been enough, it was Friday, which meant I didn’t have to deal with a history class. I was in for English at eleven, and then my time was my own.
Theoretically, of course.
If it were my own, I was using it for a nap. That’s it. I knew how to rock a Friday night. Usually, I’d have been gearing up for a long night in front of the webcam and a big-ass payday. I was trying not to think about the fact that I’d have to log in and turn it to a brick wall. I’d had to leave my room last time. The temptation to just do it had been too much.
Still, Friday was shaping up to be as good as it could be, given the situation. Granted, I’d had to listen to music until one a.m. when Louisa had stopped her orgasmic caterwauling next door, but I’d also gotten to read. About happy things.
Like people who weren’t stuck between a rock and a hard place and could do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted without being owned to Hell and back.
I was slightly bitter. I just wished that reminding myself that I’d chosen this would make it go away, because it didn’t.
Today, I wasn’t going to dwell on that. I was going to catch up on some schoolwork, eat a great, big, fat pizza for dinner, drink wine, then drunk-shop on Amazon. Everything after the word schoolwork was such a bad idea that it’d actually crossed onto the list of amazing ones at some point.
I took a deep breath and tied my damp hair into a ponytail. Water droplets snaked down the back of neck and disappeared beneath the collar of my shirt, and I reached back to stop them in their tracks. If I didn’t, I’d just be scratching my back all day trying to get rid of the annoying niggle they’d leave behind.#p#分页标题#e#
I opened my laptop and logged into Dalton Cam Girls. My fingers itched to click on the option to start a chat room, but I restrained myself and swept the mouse over it instead. There was no point before midday. No one was around. No money.