Dear John(39)

She nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. And he was great. To this day, he hasn’t asked about the specifics, and I haven’t told him. But since then he’s been a little protective, and I can’t say that I mind.”

In the silence, I thought about the courage she had shown, not only that night, but afterward. Had she not told me, I would never have suspected anything bad had ever happened to her. I marveled that despite what happened, she had managed to hold on to her optimistic view of the world.

“I promise to be a perfect gentleman,” I said.

She turned to me. “What are you talking about?”

“Tonight. Tomorrow night. Whenever. I’m not like that guy.”

She traced a finger along my jaw, and I felt my skin tingle beneath her touch. “I know,” she said, sounding amused. “Why do you think I’m here with you now?”

Her voice was so tender, and again, I suppressed the urge to kiss her. It wasn’t what she needed, not now, even though it was difficult to think of anything else.

“Do you know what Susan said after that first night? Once you left and I went back to the group?”

I waited.

“She said you looked scary. Like you were the last person on earth she would have ever wanted to be alone with.”

I grinned. “I’ve been told worse,” I assured her.

“No, you’re missing my point. My point is that I remember thinking that she didn’t know what she was talking about, because when you first handed me my bag on the beach, I saw honesty and confidence and even something tender, but nothing frightening at all. I know it sounds crazy, but it felt like I already knew you.”

I turned away without responding. Below the streetlamp, mist was rising from the ground, a remnant of the heat of the day. Crickets had begun to sound, singing to one another. I swallowed, trying to soothe the sudden dryness in my throat. I looked at Savannah, then up to the ceiling, then to my feet, and finally back to Savannah again. She squeezed my hand, and I drew a shaky breath, marveling at the fact that while on an ordinary leave in an ordinary place, I’d somehow fallen in love with an extraordinary girl named Savannah Lynn Curtis.

She saw my expression but misinterpreted it. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” she whispered. “I do that sometimes. Act too forward, I mean. I just blurt out what I’m thinking without taking into account how it might come across to others.”

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” I said, turning her face to me. “I’ve just never had anyone say anything like that to me before.”

I almost stopped there, aware that if I kept the words inside, the moment would pass and I would escape without putting my feelings on the line.

“You have no idea how much the last few days have meant to me,” I began. “Meeting you has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I hesitated, knowing that if I stopped now, I’d never be able to say it to anyone. “I love you,” I whispered.

I had always imagined the words would be hard to say, but they weren’t. In all my life, I’d never been as sure of anything, and as much as I hoped to one day hear Savannah say these words to me, what mattered most was knowing that love was mine to give, without strings or expectations.

Outside, the air was beginning to cool, and I could see pools of water shimmering in the moonlight. The clouds had begun to break up, and between them, an occasional star blinked, as if to remind me of what I’d just admitted.

“Did you ever imagine something like this?” she wondered aloud. “You and me, I mean?”

“No,” I said.

“It scares me a little.”

My stomach flipped, and all at once, I was sure she didn’t feel the same way.

“You don’t have to say it back to me,” I began. “That’s not why I said it—”

“I know,” she interrupted. “You don’t understand. I wasn’t scared because you told me. I got scared because I wanted to say it, too: I love you, John.”

Even now, I’m still not sure how it happened. One instant we were talking, and in the next she leaned toward me. For a second, I wondered whether kissing her would break the spell we both were under, but it was too late to stop. And when her lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever.





Nine





We ended up staying out late. After we left the house, I took Savannah back to the beach, and we walked the long stretch of sand until she began to yawn. I walked her to the door, and we kissed again as moths darted in the porch light.