Dear Deceiver(41)

'Don't argue,' Rory snapped. 'How dare you be so irresponsible! And  don't look down. I've enough on my hands without having to fetch you up a  second time.'

How dared she? How dared he! Hart by name and hart by nature. Thinking  all women were his hinds. And she was sure her shoulder was bruised.

Anger made her glow. It also gave her strength.

'I can't see what all the fuss is about. Toby didn't exactly sit on the sideline either.'

'Toby at least took a calculated risk. You...'

'Oh well, if you're going to talk about calculations.' At least she had  her foot on the heath a few yards from where the brown car had been  abandoned at a reckless angle. 'I never did get my sums right.'

'No?' Surprisingly he looked less grim. 'How right you are, Haidee Brown. How right you are.'

Haidee was put in the car and told to wait. There was little else she  could do, for Rory pocketed the keys as he went once more over the rim  of scrub. She guessed why shortly afterwards when she heard two shots.

So it had been for nothing. The does had had to die. And almost by her  hand. If she had not been so stupid they might have got away. If she had  not told Paul about Willie Byrne the poachers might never have known  where to come. Only for her the spotted deer would still be feeding in  the dell. She closed her eyes and there it all was, as she was sure it  would be to the end of her days.                       
       
           



       

With it came a legion of regrets and things that had gone wrong. What  had she brought Glenglass, she who loved it on sight, but loss, strife,  and jealousy? And what had she brought its forester but worry and  trouble and the unleashing of the past.

There remained only one recompense. She must go, and as quickly as possible.

From the voices floating upwards and the fact that a forestry truck was  also parked on the heath she knew that Rory was not performing his  unenviable task in solitude. He came back, however, alone.

'You heard, I suppose? Well, don't worry,' he said kindly as he got into  the car. 'We had to put two down, but I think the rest have a chance.  Willie says so, anyway.' Old Willie Byrne, it seemed, had come back with  him, and, astonishingly, was now down in the dell with some of the  forestry workers. 'Willie would climb Mount Everest if he thought his  deer were in trouble. I'd back him against any vet if I had to.' He  looked at Haidee's face and shook his head. 'Cheer up, girl. There's no  use looking like that. I told you once before that death is part of the  cycle for a wild creature. It comes and it's accepted. Tomorrow morning  the others will be back feeding as though nothing had happened. Toby  knows that too. I've left him there with Willie. The vet's on his way.'

They were plain words, but they didn't lack comfort, and not the least  of it was the mention of Toby. This, at least, had been granted her, to  see him in one morning turn into a man. It only remained for her to go  in as good odour as possible.

With the engine running, Rory spoke. 'Well, Haidee Brown, which of us goes in first?'

'Do you mind telling me how you know my name?'

'Not in the least,' he said calmly. 'I knew it before I met you. The  first morning when I knocked on your door and your next-door neighbour  told me where to look for you, she told me a lot more besides.' His lips  quirked. 'Whetted my appetite, in fact.'

'You set a trap for me.'

'Admitted,' he agreed cheerfully. 'The moment I heard Freeman's name I  knew you were here for the beer. Well, there's no beer, neither Jack nor  Antonia had anything left to leave, but I don't imagine Freeman knows  that, and I thought you should have a damn good run for your money,'

'I had.' She said it quite sincerely and he coloured. It was part of the young Rory and endearing.

Ten minutes later the whole story had been told. It finished in  unplanned confusion: 'I suppose you think I should have got out of it. I  daresay I could have, not minding too much about Antonia. We still  don't know, actually. In the end she just died.'

'Most people do,' he commented quietly.

'Everything went wrong really.' Once started it was as hard to stop as  it had been that day with Mother Mary. 'Jennie didn't need me except  this week a little, and it must have been awful for you, having  everything raked up again.' His gaze had narrowed. 'Oh, you know what I  mean,' she jerked. 'Losing Suzanne and then having me so like her you  couldn't tell us apart.'

A laugh interrupted. She blinked amazedly and heard another and another.

'So like her, did you say? God's fish, girl, why do you think I used to  say "Johnny, I Hardly Knew Ye"? You dropped a clanger almost every five  minutes. I started off wanting to teach you a lesson and I ended up,  Lord help me, trying to save your skin for you.'

What a man! 'I'm sure it was very kind of you,' she said frostily. 'But  all in all I don't think I'm all that bad at looking after myself.'

'I don't think you are either,' he admitted, it almost seemed gloomily.  'You've had me running round in small circles trying to keep you away  from Freeman. It was never on, was it?'

'Never.'

'I wish I'd known. I never did know what to think.' He looked quite indignant. 'Even when I'd decided you were just the pawn...'

'The pawn?' she echoed sharply. 'Me?'

'Don't interrupt. Freeman uses women. They seem to find him attractive.'                       
       
           



       

'Bully for them. He doesn't use me. Or any man. I paddle my own canoe.  Oh, honestly!' It was too much. 'If I'd known that's what you were  thinking I wouldn't have stayed one hour.'

'And if that had been what I was thinking I wouldn't have put up with  you!' Rory retorted. 'Everything didn't go wrong, as a matter of fact,'  he added. 'Toby's fond of you and you were very good for him. I'm  grateful.'

'Grateful?' It was too silly. There, she'd found such riches and was  taking away such happy memories. 'I hope you're proud-of Toby, I mean.  After today any father...' Why was he looking so thoughtful? Puzzled,  she halted.

'I am proud,' he said simply. 'Proud and thankful. But not as "any father". Do you understand?'

She didn't. She shook her head.

'Suzanne was pregnant when she married me,' he said factually. 'Nothing  else would have persuaded her. She just had a memory lapse. She forgot  to tell me.' To the question flickering in Haidee's eyes, he said: 'No,  not for certain. I don't think he did either. She would have been afraid  of losing him. He took off very easily.'

And took her with him, Haidee recalled. And then took off again. Alone. Was it Tokyo Paul had said-or the camel train to Iraq?

She was shocked at how her romantic picture had crumbled. Suzanne with  her fabled aura of courage stood revealed as coward and cheat. Bad  enough if she had left Rory to care for their own child, there were no  words for passing him the charge of another man's. And since, almost  certainly, Toby was Paul's, what doubtful traits could he not have  inherited? To look at him today was surely to see a triumph of  husbandry.

'Thinking of Toby...'

'I've done my share of that,' Rory put in.

'I was only going to say-he may be a hummel's calf, but he's going to be a royal.'

This drew a smile. 'He's done well. You helped.'

She felt a little overcome. 'What happened to Suzanne?'

'Oh, it's a sad story.' He sounded weary. 'A sad story that went on too  long. Did you see a documentary last year called Gail Is Dead?'

She nodded recalling the tragic downhill road of the young drug addict  round which the film had been built and all at once quickening with  horrified comprehension.

'Something like that,' Rory acknowledged briefly. 'A mess. I saw her  sometimes, mostly in hospitals when they'd send for me. She could have  come back, but she wouldn't. And I never told Antonia. Perhaps I was  wrong. Perhaps you were too when you deceived her. It's on the cards. At  least we both thought we were doing right at the time.' He shrugged.  'And it's all over now. It's a long long time ago.'

In light of this forbearance, the side kicks of the masquerade were doubly poignant.

'It was until I brought it back to you. You could feel very bitter towards me.'

'Nonsense, Glad to have you,' he said uncomfortably. 'Stay a while  longer if you'd like. I know Toby would be charmed. He's going to miss  you.'

A temptation which had to be resisted. 'And I him,' Haidee returned. 'But I must go home today. I've so much to catch up on.'

As the house hove into view she remembered Brand and looked anxiously along steps and windowsills.

'What is it?' Rory demanded, and when told was unconcerned. 'You can't  have looked properly. He'll be in the house. On someone's bed, I  suppose.'

'He's not,' she insisted. Rory was not to know of the getaway from the stable.

'In that case he's probably caught in a trap. And don't say I didn't warn you.'

Need his face have been quite so impassive? Recently, she'd fancied he was growing quite fond of Brand.