Dear Bridget, I Want You(9)
“If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to yell.”
I let out a breath. “It’s been two years, but I still haven’t fully adjusted to not having a man around to handle certain things. I’ve really tried my best, but clearly I would’ve totally failed at that one. Literally, I think it would have kept me up all night.”
“I think you’re handling things just fine—way better than I would be, working the hours you do, then coming home to parent. Your son is a good kid. You’re doing a damn good job. But do you ever get to go out, make some time for yourself?”
“Ha!” I laughed. “That would be a no.”
“That’s not very healthy, Bridget.”
“I know. But it’s tough. I pay a sitter to watch him while I’m working, so I hate to leave him when I don’t have to. It might be different when he’s a little older, but for now, I just have to make him my priority.”
He leaned against the counter. “That’s commendable, but you also have to think about yourself and your sanity. You deserve a break once in a while.”
“Have you been questioning my sanity?”
“Maybe a tad.” He winked. “Seriously, though, when was the last time you’ve been out on a date?”
It wasn’t difficult to figure out the answer. “I haven’t. I mean, Ben’s only been gone two years. I just haven’t felt ready.”
Simon’s expression grew sullen. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that. Calliope…she told me, you know, what happened.”
“Yeah, I really don’t like to talk about it.”
“I don’t blame you.”
Simon seemed to be quietly observing me for a few seconds, and I was starting to feel hot.
I didn’t know what came over me when I asked, “Would you want to have some tea with me?”
He looked at his watch. “Shit. I’d really like to, but I’m supposed to meet someone in Providence in twenty minutes.”
Trying to mask my disappointment, I said, “You said ‘shit.’ Money in the Brendan jar, please. Since you and he seem to be ganging up on me as far as the swear words go, it’s only fair that I get commission for your swears.”
“You got me,” he said as he fetched a single from his wallet and placed it in the jar.
“Are you going out with Brianna?”
“How did you know that?”
“The nurses’ station is basically a gossip den, Simon. You’d better be careful. You’re definitely on everyone’s radar. They talk about you a lot.”
“Is that so?
I was oddly feeling a bit protective of him.
“Seriously, just be careful what you do. It will get around.”
“Thanks for the fair warning, Nurse Valentine.”
“Where are you going tonight?”
“WaterFire. Apparently, it just opened for the season.”
“Ah. I’ve never been there. Always meant to go but never got around to it. What is it like?”
“It’s awesome. Picture like a hundred bonfires on the surface of the river in the middle of downtown. There’s music and performances. You really should see it sometime.”
“Do you take all your dates there?”
“It’s not always in season.”
I’d always hoped to go with Ben.
“Well, you’d better go, or you’ll be late.”
He lingered at the doorway for a bit before he said, “Have a good night, Bridget.”
“You, too.”
As I stared out from the kitchen at the sun setting in my backyard, I once again felt myself getting teary-eyed. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why I was so emotional tonight. Was it because I missed Ben? Or was it because my jealousy over Simon’s date meant that I was finally starting to move on? I wasn’t sure, but I somehow felt happy, hopeful, and terribly sad all at the same time.
Brianna and I strolled along the river walk surrounded by the flames of WaterFire. It was a breezy May evening in Providence, and her long, black hair was blowing around into her face. At one point, I stopped to take some video footage of the flickering lights before we continued walking.
As she was talking my ear off, I was zoning out. I couldn’t stop thinking about Bridget, about the sadness in her eyes earlier when we were talking about her husband. I couldn’t imagine having to endure that kind of tragedy at such a young age. I also couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I had refused her offer to have tea. Just when she finally seemed to be warming up to me, I had to leave.
Brianna was only twenty-three and definitely not looking for anything serious. It was exactly why I’d pursued her. We’d had sex one time, and while it was good, I couldn’t help wanting to find a way to get out of going back to her apartment tonight. I just wasn’t into being with her right now, and I couldn’t figure out why.