Grady sighed. “You are so much work. You drive me crazy.”
Mandy rolled her eyes. “The medicine is on the dining room table.”
“Great. I can’t wait.”
Mandy settled on the chair at the end of the table, shifting her body so Grady could have easy access to the wound. Grady knelt on the floor, taking the proffered salve and Q-tips from her. “I need to clean it first.”
“There are medicated wipes in that package.”
“Yep. Got it. Let’s get this started.”
Grady lifted the back of Mandy’s T-shirt, finding the white gauze in the center of her back. “Hold still.”
“I’ve been through this before,” Mandy said.
“I haven’t,” Grady replied. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It doesn’t really hurt now,” Mandy said. “It’s an itchy nightmare.”
“Well, that’s better than pain.”
“I guess.”
Grady carefully removed the gauze, sucking in a breath when he got his first glimpse of the wound. “Holy shit!”
“It’s gross, I know.”
“I didn’t realize it was so … big.”
“That sounds like a line from a porno,” Mandy chided.
“I can’t talk about pornography with my girlfriend’s best friend,” Grady said. “That’s not allowed.”
Mandy laughed, the sound relaxing Grady. Part of her – the real her – was still in there. This angry beast was just a façade. She was hurt and lashing out. He understood the reaction.
“I’m going to clean it now,” Grady said. “Try to hold still.”
Mandy rested her head against the metal back of the chair. She didn’t flinch as he wiped the area clean.
“Did that hurt?”
“No,” Mandy said. “I told you, it doesn’t really hurt anymore.”
“What does hurt, kid?”
“What?”
“What’s got you so upset?”
“Your brother hates me,” Mandy blurted out.
“No, he doesn’t. He loves you.”
“He thinks I’m a burden.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Grady said. “He wants to take care of you. What else have you got?”
“He won’t touch me.”
“You’re hurt,” Grady said. “He doesn’t want to add to that.”
“I miss him.”
“Then why didn’t you let him in last night?”
“I can’t be his guilt girlfriend.”
Grady sighed, dipping one of the Q-tips into the cooling salve. “You know, the night you were hurt, he was a madman. He was going to beat every doctor in that place until they took him to you. He was a total mess.”
Mandy was silent.
“The doctor told us that they were worried because you hadn’t woken up yet,” Grady continued. “They needed someone to talk to you. It’s no surprise they chose the man raving like a maniac because he loves you so much.”
Mandy didn’t respond.
“He’s not sleeping,” Grady said. “You know that, right? Did he tell you why he’s not sleeping?”
Mandy’s voice was small. “No. Did he tell you?”
“He’s having nightmares,” Grady said, dabbing the wound with the Q-tip. “He didn’t say what they are about, but I know.”
“So, what are they?”
“He sees the explosion over and over in his head. He sees you flying through the air. You know, Sophie said he couldn’t stand right after – so he crawled to you. I wasn’t there, but I’ve seen him crawl to you one other time.”
“After the fire,” Mandy supplied.
“He was lost that night, too,” Grady said. “My brother can’t lose you. You’re his life.”
“He won’t touch me.”
“He will,” Grady said. “You have to give him time. You were the one hurt in the explosion, but he was the one that saw you get hurt. In a way, his trauma is greater than yours.”
“How do you figure?”
“If you had died, what do you think would have happened?” Grady asked.
“I have no idea.”
“He would have died, too.”
“James would never kill himself.”
“Maybe not,” Grady conceded. “There are different ways to die, though. He wouldn’t have been able to move on from that. He never would have moved on from loving you. There’s no one else for him. You’re it, kid.”
“I think I’ve been deluding myself,” Mandy said. “I wanted him to love me so much that I convinced myself that he really did love me.”