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Dead Reckoning(11)

By:Charlaine Harris


On the other hand . . .

“Pam usually prefers the ladies,” I said, trying to sound more certain than I actually was. When I thought of Eric with someone else, I wanted to rip out all his beautiful blond hair. By the roots. In clumps.

“She’s sort of omnisexual,” Immanuel offered. “My sister and Pam have had another man in the bed with them.”

“Ah, okay.” I held up a hand in a “stop” gesture. Some things I didn’t want to imagine.

“You’re a little prudish for someone who goes with a vampire,” Immanuel observed.

“Yes. Yes, I am.” I’d never applied that adjective to myself, but compared to Immanuel — and Pam — I was definitely straightlaced.

I preferred to think of it as having a more evolved sense of privacy.

Finally, Pam and Eric came into the living room, and Immanuel and I sat forward on the edge of our seats, not knowing what to expect. Though the two vampires were expressionless, their defensive body language let me know that they were ashamed of their loss of control.

They’d begun healing already, I noticed with some envy. Eric’s hair was disheveled and one shirt sleeve was torn off. Pam’s dress was ripped, and she was carrying her shoes because she’d broken a heel.

Eric opened his mouth to speak, but I jumped in first.

“I don’t know what that was about,” I said, “but I’m too tired to care. You two are liable for anything you broke, and I want you to leave this house right now. I’ll rescind your invitation, if I have to.”

Eric looked rebellious. I was sure he’d planned on spending the night at my place. This night, though, that was not gonna happen.

I’d seen headlights coming up the drive, and I was sure Claude and Dermot were here. I couldn’t have fairies and vampires in the same house at the same time. Both were strong and ferocious, but vampires literally found fairies irresistible, like cats and catnip. I wasn’t up to another struggle.

“Out the front door,” I said, when they didn’t move immediately. “Shoo! Thanks for the haircut, Immanuel. Eric, I appreciate your thinking about my hair care needs.” (I might have said this with more than a touch of sarcasm.) “It would have been nice if you had thought a little longer before you trashed my kitchen.”

Without more ado, Pam beckoned to Immanuel, and they went out the door together, Immanuel looking very faintly amused. Pam gave me a long look as she passed me. I knew it was meant to be significant, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what she was trying to tell me.

Eric said, “I would hold you while you sleep. Were you hurt? I’m sorry.” He seemed oddly nonplussed.

At another time I would have accepted this rare apology, but not tonight. “You need to go home now, Eric. We’ll talk when you can control yourself.”

That was a huge rebuke to a vampire, and his back stiffened. For a moment I thought I’d have another fight on my hands. But Eric stepped out the front door, finally. When he was on the porch, he said, “I’ll talk to you soon, my wife.” I shrugged. Whatever. I was too tired and too aggravated to summon up any kind of loving expression.

I think Eric got in the car with Pam and the hairdresser for the drive back to Shreveport. Possibly he was too battered to fly. What the hell was up with Pam and Eric?

I tried to tell myself it was not my problem, but I had a sinking feeling that it really, really was.

Claude and Dermot came in the back a moment later, ostentatiously sniffing the air.

“The smell of smoke and vampires,” Claude said, with a pronounced rolling of the eyes. “And your kitchen looks like a bear came in search of honey.”

“I don’t know how you stand it,” Dermot said. “They smell bitter and sweet at the same time. I don’t know if I like it or hate it.” He held his hand over his nose dramatically. “And do I detect a trace of burned hair?”

“Fellas, chill,” I said wearily. I gave them the condensed version of the firebombing at Merlotte’s and the fighting in my kitchen. “So just give me a hug and let me go to bed without any more vampire comments,” I said.

“Do you want us to sleep with you, Niece?” Dermot asked, in the flowery way of the old fae, the ones who didn’t spend that much time with humans. The nearness of one fairy to another is both healing and soothing. Even with as little fairy blood as I had, I found the proximity of both Claude and Dermot comforting. I hadn’t realized that when I’d first met Claude and his sister Claudine, but the longer I’d known them and the more they’d touched me, the better I’d felt when they were near. When my great-grandfather Niall had embraced me, I’d felt sheer love. And no matter what Niall had done, or how dubious his decisions were, I felt that love all over again when I was near him. I had a moment’s regret that I might not ever see Niall again, but I just didn’t have any remaining emotional energy. “Thanks, Dermot. But I think I better fall into bed by myself tonight. You guys sleep well.”