Sigrun gazed at me, her eyes trained on my face, but I knew she wasn’t even seeing me. "I do believe you have a point, Bryn."
"Yes, I do. So go speak to him."
"I will." Sigrun sat up abruptly. "Yes, I will."
"Well, you can. And don’t forget you have to show me where Mimir is," I said, my voice dry.
Sigrun just laughed and moved to the door. Then she frowned. "I think that after everything you have been through, you need a nice, hot bath. Then I will take you to Mimir."
"Thanks for the help with Mimir. I have to go back to New York though, so I’ll see Mimir when I return."
"What are you going back for?" She stared at me suspiciously.
"I have to help Aidan get his mom and sister out of his father’s house."
She scowled. "Can’t you just send a team?"
"No. I promised I’d help him. I don’t break my promises. And besides, he’s part of our team. Don’t we have a duty to help our team members?"
"I would agree if he were not behaving so strangely."
"I’m sure he has his reasons."
"I will come with you then."
"I shook my head. I think a smaller team will be less conspicuous. And people who know Aidan will think we’re still a couple. It’s a good cover for us." I looked up at Sigrun, her face filled with doubt. "Can you tell Odin for me? I don’t want to waste any more time. I just hope Aidan hasn’t gone off on his own."
"Aidan knows who his superior is. You are still the leader of the team and he has to defer to you." Sigrun examined my face, and though she looked like she wanted to say something else, she only clenched her jaw. "And I will give the All-Father your message. Now you need to bathe and get going."
"I'm not so sure . . . ." I said, my stomach churning at the thought of bathing in public without my wings.
"I am coming with you, so you do not have to worry. You really do need to bathe, Bryn." Sigrun wrinkled her nose and I smiled. She was right. I'd been stuck in Dr. Lee's lab for days, and I wasn’t sure the cleanup I got in Frigga’s room really counted as a bath. I gave in, grabbed my cloak and followed Sigrun out into the passage. We made a quick stop at my room to pick up a clean dress, and a towel.
We walked through the torch-lit corridors of the palace uninterrupted. Since it was morning most of the Warriors, Valkyrie or einherjar, would be on the training fields. Fen's face hovered before my eyes and I wondered what he was doing. When Mika betrayed me and tried to kill me, Fen had been devastated. But I knew the betrayal hurt more because his own daughter had chosen Loki over Fen. I knew that the Ulfr had retreated from Asgard, their presence diminished while their leader overcame his hurt and shame.
I wondered who'd be training the Warriors and putting them through their routines.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that when bright sunlight hit my face, I stopped in my tracks, shocked and temporarily blinded. But as I blinked, the bright, beautiful day outside seemed to bring my inadequacy into the spotlight.
"Come on, slow train," Sigrun called from a few feet in front of me. She'd stopped and waited, but no matter how much I urged my feet to move, they refused to listen. Even her misuse of a Midgard term couldn’t distract me.
"I don't think this is a good idea," I said, feeling the nothingness at my shoulders. The stark reality that I no longer possessed that which defined me. I was a Valkyrie. But what kind of Valkyrie was I without my wings? I hated the thought I no longer belonged. I was back to being a freak, this time, a wingless Valkyrie. How would I fit in? How would the rest of the Valkyries treat me? Sigrun hadn’t changed her attitude in the least, but she was my closest friend. How would I fit in with the rest of the Valkyrie army?
Sigrun walked back to me. "What's wrong?"
I took a deep breath, held it for a moment, forcing calm into my body, then let it go slowly. "I can't face them all."
"Who?" Sigrun didn't seem to follow.
"The rest of the Valkyries. What would they think of me? I'm a freak." My words came in a whisper.
"Do not be silly. Everyone in Asgard is aware of what happened to you. The entire realm mourned your loss with you. Everyone is horrified that such a thing could happen to a Valkyrie, so do not think people will judge you for something that was not your fault." Sigrun's voice was harsh, filled with emotion, and when I looked up, I saw her struggle to keep her tears at bay.
I sighed. "I know, and I understand that. But I'm not sure I'm strong enough to face being ridiculed."
"Nobody is going to ridicule you. Now stop being silly and let us go get you cleaned up." She tucked her arm into mine and pulled me along so I had no choice but to follow. I recalled the first time she'd led me to the baths. I smiled at the memory. It seemed so long ago but it had barely been a few months.
Chapter 8
An icy voice disturbed my trip down memory lane.
"Look what we have here," said Astrid, stepping in front of Sigrun and me, forcing us to stop.
"Astrid, what are you doing here?" asked Sigrun, her voice just as cold. "Should you not be in Hel, wagging your tail and running after your mistress?"
Astrid's blue eyes grew dark at the insult. She hesitated a moment as if unsure what to say, then schooled her features into a cold mask. "As a matter of fact, I am here on an errand for Freya. And do not worry, Sigrun, I know you are just filled with envy that Freya chose me over you to be her right-hand maiden."
"Don't kid yourself, Astrid," I said, staring hard at the blond Valkyrie, certain she was hiding something. "You’re just one wrong move away from being thrown aside. Freya seems like a pretty smart goddess. I doubt she'd suffer a fool too long." Astrid's pure-white wings shivered at her back and I knew I'd hit a sore spot.
"Ah yes, Brynhildr, it is ironic you should speak of fools." Astrid’s icy glare landed on my face, sending a shiver of trepidation up and down my spine. "What are you still doing in Asgard?"
"She is here because she belongs here," snapped Sigrun.
"Thank you, Sigrun, but I think the freak can speak for herself. Can you not, Brynhildr?" Astrid sneered. "Tell us why you are still here, especially since you are no longer a real Valkyrie?"
I didn't respond. Didn't take my eyes off Astrid's cold features.
"Come now, Brynhildr. Can you not explain why you have not gone back to your little home in Midgard? Why are you still here, tainting our realm with you manufactured genes? And now that you no longer have your wings, you certainly do not belong with the Valkyries, do you?" Astrid's laughter rose to a cackle and both Sigrun and I stared at her. Astrid’s beauty faded when she flaunted her derision.
"It's nice to know you have an opinion, Astrid. And very generous of you to share it with me. But you see, there’s a little problem—I don't particularly care what you think." I kept my gaze trained on Astrid's face. Anger twisted her features into something not so nice to look at. "I know what I am and I know where I belong. So go ahead and play your little head games to keep yourself entertained, but know they don't work on me. Good day to you. Oh, and give my regards to Freya."
Astrid glared at me, her face warped with hate and rage. She made a strange, strangled sound, as if she were trying to stop herself from shrieking. She didn't say anything further, just stalked off in the direction of the baths, the purity of her white wings at odds with the dark rage she struggled with.
I sighed and let out a sad excuse for a laugh.
Sigrun sighed too.
"Bitch," said Sigrun, bolstering the single word with enough emotion that, had Astrid still been with us, would have earned her a nice left hook from my once-prissy Valkyrie friend.
"Sigrun!" I admonished, shushing her while glancing around us in case she'd been overheard. "What's gotten into you?"
"Well, that is exactly what she is and I am not sorry for the use of such profanity when it is most appropriate," she said, lifting her chin in a little show of defiance, her grey eyes dark and steely. "Now come, we need to see about a bath for you." With that, Sigrun turned and stalked off back to the palace, her spine ramrod straight, her wings fluttering violently.
"Sigrun, wait. Where are you going?" I hurried after her. "Wait for me."
But she didn't slow down in the least. I fell into a trot until I reached her side, then walked with her, keeping pace. A bubble of laughter filtered through me. I so desperately wanted to giggle because it was funny watching the normally calm and placid Sigrun marching off, fuelled by fury.
But I managed to control myself, and before long we drew abreast of the door to my room.
"Wait for me," was all Sigrun said before she marched off again.
I grinned and entered my room, shaking my head at my friend. She'd better be back soon though, I thought.
I sighed and sat on my bed, staring into the flames burning in the huge fireplace. With nothing else to do but wait, I lay down on the furs and folded my hands beneath my cheek. My eyes began to drift shut and I wriggled deeper in the furs. When was the last time I'd slept well? A sleep not drug-induced, just one of those where you drift off and then wake up the next morning all refreshed and ready to tackle the world.