Dead Chaos (A Valkyrie Novel - Book 3)(3)

Joshua glanced at me, his jaw clenched so hard I was sure it would soon break. Shadows of fury made his face almost unrecognizable.

I stood within the maelstrom of silent anger, quietude within the eye of fury and hurt. I wasn’t so sure I could accept what Aidan had just said. Especially since I’d just left a room filled with the remains of my wings, where they'd taken them apart, laying bare flesh and bone for the sake of curiosity, for the sake of research..

Watching Aidan concentrate on the monitor, seemingly oblivious to how deep his words had hurt, made me feel strange. Almost sick to my stomach. Perhaps the drugs were still having an effect on me.

It took a few moments before the deathly silence penetrated Aidan’s concentration. He turned to us and frowned. "Do you guys mind? I really have to figure this out. It’s very important." There was a touch of fear mixed with that hint of burgeoning excitement I’d noticed earlier. What was going on with him?

"Really?" Joshua’s voice penetrated my thoughts with what was surely a you have got to be joking really, not the standard really, really. His eyes were cold, blank and dangerous, like a bank of dark clouds on the horizon that sends a chill up your spine.

Ominous.

"What is your problem, dude?" Aidan rounded on Joshua, irritated and distracted. A tiny part of me experienced a pull of sympathy as I wondered what type of strain this whole escapade had taken on Aidan’s health. Only a tiny part of me. The rest of me was a twisted mess of hurt, disappointment and anger. And a touch of fear. What did this mean for Aidan and me? When they’d saved me from Dr. Lee he’d defended me to his father. And he’d said that no matter what happened, I had him.

Now I wasn’t so sure I had him at all.

Joshua was right there in Aidan’s face, still and silent. Both boys—Warriors—faced off as Aidan slid off the stool, attention transferred from the monitor filled with alphabets and dancing double helixes. I squinted, curious. But too much of my attention remained on the two boys in my life; my best friend, and my boyfriend, who seemed to be slipping further away from me with every moment.

Joshua finally answered Aidan’s question, his voice low, devoid of emotion. "My problem is your attitude."

Aidan snorted. "If you have such a problem with my attitude, you may as well leave. I don’t change my attitude for anyone, least of all a kid like you."

Did he just say that? I blinked and stared at his face. His expression held an arrogance hinting at anger, pain, and a definite sense of superiority. There had always been the hint of arrogance in his bad-boy persona. But I’d never believed he’d had it in him to come right out and behave this way. Even with who his father was, I’d given him the benefit of the doubt. Sure, he had a couple years on Joshua, but did he have to say that? Or was he just backed into a corner, reacting to the pressure Joshua was putting on him?

I wanted Joshua to ease up on Aidan and I tried to get his attention, but his gaze remained focused. His eyebrows rose at the kid reference, a sneer lifting his lip. "I’m beginning to wonder if decency is a criteria at all when Asgard's Warriors are chosen." Joshua flicked an apologetic glance at me.

"Look, I don’t have time for your games, O’Connell." Aidan flicked a thumb at the monitor. "I need to figure this data out so I know just what I have to work with."

"Why are you so interested anyway?" Aimee asked. "Just take the computer back to the NY HQ and leave it with Erik. I’m sure they have enough people with the proper qualifications to figure it all out."

Aidan hesitated, then schooled his features, wiping away the hint of hope, the slight, nervous excitement in his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was controlled. "My father has a particular way of thinking. If I can figure out what he was trying to do, we may be able to find a way to shut his entire operation down. Don’t think that just because we have him and Loki in custody things will settle down."

"We aren’t naïve, Aidan." I said.

"I never said you were." He sighed, shaking his head. "I’m sorry. I just don’t think you understand the magnitude of what this is." Again, he seemed oblivious to how his words would affect me. What was wrong with him? What the hell was going on in his head?

"Magnitude? We don’t understand the magnitude?" Aimee growled. Then, the once quiet, timid girl did something so out of character my jaw dropped. She grabbed Aidan’s upper arm, gripping tightly. "Come with me, let me show you magnitude."

Aidan must've been as surprised as I was with Aimee's fury and her grip. He allowed her to drag him along, throwing her a couple of quizzical glances as she towed him the few doors away to the lab containing the remains of my wings.

I followed in silence, Joshua at my side. I paused at the doorway, unsure if I wanted to see it all again. Inside the room, Aimee dragged Aidan to the gurney bearing the pieces of stripped bone.

Aidan’s jaw dropped at the sight, but almost immediately, he masked his emotions and just examined the contents of the gurney without a reaction. He’d been caught off guard and I was glad to see the sight of the remains of my wings had shocked him.

"You think you understand magnitude?" Aimee asked, her voice so high and tight she almost screeched the words. "This is magnitude. Your curiosity and desire for information? That’s crap. This right here is magnitude. What your father did to the ‘test subject’ is magnitude. Oh, and as for the test subject, I’m sure you remember her. She’s the one who just happened to save your sorry ass twice. She risked her life so many times, and you have the gall to say we don’t understand the magnitude?"

Aidan goggled at Aimee, but in his eyes, I saw his reaction. He pulled that veil over his emotions, the dark and shadowy protection he’d arrived in Craven with all those months ago. Now he threw his hands up, totally on the defensive. "Whoa. I think you need to get a grip, Aimee. I wasn’t trying to say Bryn didn’t underst—"

"You had better shut the hell up before I make you the first einherjar in history to die." Beside me, Joshua growled the words and I flinched, hit by the wave of his unadulterated fury.

Aidan had the grace to swallow his arrogant smile. "Bryn, can you call off your dog, please? Surely you can see I’m just trying to work here." Still lashing out, still defensive. Was this the way he always dealt with conflict?

"Sure. Of course. Your work is important. Come on, guys. I think we need to head back to Asgard." If Aidan noticed the lack of emotion in my voice, he didn’t bother to show it. My gut twisted, knowing deep down that wrapped within his curious hunger for information and his dark arrogance, he was probably blind to how he was hurting me.

Aidan stopped me in my tracks with his next words. "I see what this is." He nodded as anger flashed in his eyes. "This is because he’s my father, right? Some kind of stupid transference? Take it out on the criminal's kid?"

Joshua laughed. "Typical. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t make you any less guilty of being an insensitive bastard."

"Aidan, does it bother you at all to look at this?" Aimee flung her hand in the direction of the feather and bone littered gurney.

"Bother me?" He frowned.

"Sure, bother you. Considering it was a part of Bryn your father chopped off." Aimee smiled pleasantly as she spoke but I knew from the set of her jaw she was livid.

Aidan glanced back at me. "Bryn, surely you know what I mean?"

"What do you mean? Please do enlighten us." I asked, my tone as neutral as I could keep it.

"It wasn’t as if it were really a part of you, right, Bryn?"

I shivered. Did he just ask me to agree with him?

"Of course, it was a part of me. As much as any other part of my body was. Every step I make, everywhere I go, they are, and will always be, a part of me. Maybe I wasn’t born with those wings but they were mine."

Aidan scoffed. "You barely even used them." He spoke as if he was trying to convince me that losing my wings wasn’t as bad as I thought. Or was he trying to convince himself? I just didn’t understand him anymore.

My ears rang as blood thumped through my body. Darkness gathered at the edge of my vision, slowly closing in until I remembered to take a breath and then let it go.

Tears burned my eyes at the sudden, terrible thought that jumped into my head. It would've been this moment when my wings would have fluttered with a sad and hurt energy, reflecting my emotions as they always did. I’d heard people who lost their limbs could sometimes feel them itch, or even sometimes reach for stuff before their brain registered the limb was no longer there.

Cold grief slithered over my soul, a harsh reminder that my wings were really gone, hacked off by a monster; the father of this boy I now stared at with tears pricking my eyes. How much of the father was in the son for him to be so clinical about a part of me that had come to mean so much? Was Aidan that insensitive to my feelings?

I blinked, trying to swipe away the pain of keeping my tears at bay. No way was I going to bawl my eyes out when Aidan stood there, staring at me with a quizzical, almost innocently righteous expression.

The pain in my chest moved its way to my head. Was this the same boy who’d stormed into my life and threw me into so many knots? What did we really mean to each other if he could so easily brush away the trauma I'd experienced, especially since it was his father who'd hurt me? Perhaps it was his way of denying his father's atrocities. Maybe if he denied it then it wouldn't bother him too much. And then I wondered why the hell I was making excuses for him. After everything that had happened, I didn't need to suffer any longer. What had happened to Aidan hadn't been my fault. Freya had included him in her plan as a way to manipulate me. Freya’s doing. Not mine.