"Maybe I choose nothing?" I asked tentatively.
"Not an option."
"Well, isn't that just fabulous," I said, my voice dry and frustrated.
"You can keep feeling sorry for yourself or you can get right back on the horse and try again," Fen said.
I stood before him, vibrating with anger and frustration. I was tired of not having a choice in things that mattered. I certainly hadn’t been given a choice when my wings were ripped from me. And even the prophecy and the trip to the Norns don’t provide me with any real choices.
And now I was being manhandled by an eight-legged horse and I had no choice but to keep getting back into the saddle until she decided to not throw me anymore.
I sighed. "Fine, I'll get back on her, but if she kills me, it's your fault." I glared at Fen as he launched me back into Ara's saddle. I held onto the reins and managed to turn her head and walk her a few steps when lo and behold, she threw me again. But I'd made a tiny bit of progress; she had walked at least four steps before she tossed me.
Progress for sure.
"Again," said Fen as I sat in the mud grinning to myself, lost in the enjoyment of progress.
I scrambled to my feet and obeyed. Back up on Ara's back, she walked ten steps before she bucked again and tried to throw me. I held on for dear life, praying to Odin that I'd stay in the saddle. I was pretty tired of mud-baths. No such luck. She threw me again, but this time, I didn't mind climbing back up. I didn't kid myself; I'd made considerable progress. And I wasn’t about to give up.
Not yet. And certainly not while Fen stood by and watched.
And then she walked.
And she didn't throw me.
And I was overjoyed. So much so that I kept walking Ara around the field and only stopped when Fen called out that I'd soon walk the poor horse into the ground.
I left the field sore all over but a very happy girl.
Chapter 15
I met up with Aimee and Joshua on the way to the dining hall and brought them up to speed on everything including Aidan's sister and Mimir's prophecy.
"We'll come with you, Bryn," Joshua said and rested his hand on my arm. My body still throbbed with pain after my rodeo riding with Ara, but I didn't miss the sudden tingling where his fingers met my skin. I would have ignored it if he hadn't looked at me at the same time. For a moment, everything and everyone around us disappeared and the tingling began to spread.
The sound of Aimee's voice shattered my trance. I swallowed hard and turned to her. "Sorry. What were you saying?" Thankfully, it seemed that Aimee had missed our exchange. What had that been anyway? A surge of heat that didn't really belong in our friendship. It must have been my imagination.
"I said I'd get the food and Joshua can fetch the drinks. You can find us a place to sit. You looked pooped." Aimee grinned and walked off in the direction of the huge fire-pits over which great spit-roasts turned continuously. The aromas wafting around the hall only made me hungrier. Hopefully my tummy wouldn’t growl too loudly and embarrass me.
I walked the aisles, exchanged innumerable greetings and at last found a spot. Just in time it seemed as Aimee and Joshua both plonked themselves one on either side of me, bearing food and drinks. While we ate, I fielded their questions about my day. They both assured me they were ready to come with me to Jotunnheim at a moment's notice.
I traced a finger along the scrape on my cheek. The bleeding had stopped and I was sure it looked quite horrific.
"Where did you get that?" asked Aimee, her face pale.
I related the whole episode, from Loki hijacking my ride on the Bifrost to his interesting hostage exchange offer. Neither of them could think of anything to say to that. I let them simmer on it.
Aimee was silent for a few seconds before she looked at me and said, "I have to ask you something."
"Sure."
"I've been thinking a lot about home lately. How do you cope?" Aimee said, a sad, strained look on her face. "I mean, how do you cope knowing that you’re really alive when the people you love most in the world think you’re dead?"
I understood what she meant. It was one of the main reasons I’d gone back to see Ms. Custer the first time. I needed to let my foster mother know I was okay. "You miss them a lot." Aimee nodded although I hadn’t meant it as a question. It was the way it was. And we couldn’t change it. I glanced at Joshua, who’d remained silent, then tucked my hand into the crook of Aimee’s arm and squeezed. "I know how you feel. Sometimes I wish I could go and bring them all to Asgard, but they have their own lives. And they have to move on."
"Yeah. I know. I just hope they’re coping." A shadow flitted across Aimee’s face and I knew there was really nothing I could do for her except be there for her. Her family had gone through the unique hell that cancer brings and Aimee had to work through her own mourning for her parents.
Over Aimee’s head Joshua threw me a sad smile, a similar shadow darkening his face.
It was the craziest situation to be in—knowing the people you loved thought you were dead.
We headed off to see Odin, walking through the halls of a silent, somber Asgard.
The few Warriors, Valkyrie or Ulfr who passed us, gave us sad glances and walked off quietly.
"This is weird," Joshua said while Aimee and I nodded and frowned in agreement.
"Maybe we should ask someone what’s going on?" Aimee suggested. "I don’t like all these long faces I’m seeing."
I shook my head and kept moving. "We’re nearly there. Odin can tell us what's going on."
We hurried to Odin's hall, down passages in which the torches seemed to burn lower, lending more shadows and darkness to our journey. The closer we got the more worried I got. The hall was silent, like a mausoleum. Nothing stirred and the silence seemed to echo from marbled floors to the high ceiling beams.
And although Frigga occupied her throne, slumped on the armrest, a hand over her face, she made no sound nor did she give any indication that she'd even heard us enter.
We walked to the dais and waited until the goddess finally moved her hand from her face. She rubbed tears from her red-rimmed eyes and wiped the moisture off on the fabric of her white dress.
Frigga offered us a weak smile. "What can I help you with, Bryn?" she asked softly, her voice a little broken.
"I'm sorry, my lady, we just want to know what's going on. Everyone seems upset about something," I asked, a twinge of worry working its way up my spine as Frigga's face darkened with sorrow.
"Oh, my dear child. It is Odin," she said and paused as her voice broke. She waited a moment then cleared her throat. "The All-Father has disappeared from Asgard. He is nowhere to be found. We are searching all the Realms, we are certain he is not here in Asgard." We stood in shocked silence as Frigga continued. "He was here a few hours ago but was gone when I came to fetch him for his dinner. It is not like Odin to leave without telling me where he is travelling to and why."
"Do you think someone has taken him? Or that he may be in some kind of danger?" asked Joshua. My heart thumped and tears filled my eyes, threatening to overflow. My throat was so tight and sore with emotion I could barely string two words together. Odin was the All-Father. The greatest being in all the nine realms. How could he be taken from right under everyone's noses?
"We have no proof he was taken. There is no proof of him being abducted except that he took nothing with him."
"Not even Hugin and Munin?" I asked as my gaze alighted on the pair of birds sitting on the backrest of the empty throne. I had to look up at the ravens on the back of Odin's throne which rose at high into the air. Odin never went on a trip without them. The whole thing sounded off.
Abducting the All-Father wouldn’t be an easy thing to do. It had to be someone who had access to the Asgard realm. Someone who could come and go as they pleased, especially now that Heimdall no longer guarded the entrance to Asgard.
Heimdall was taken. Ragnarok draws near. The Jotunns were getting stronger. Loki is slowly making headway with his plans. And now Odin was gone. The whole thing stank of Loki's treachery.
"No, which is surprising. Thor and the rest of the gods are searching the other realms as well. Let us hope they uncover something soon." Frigga sighed and sat back, all her energy spent on bringing us up to speed. The goddess smiled then her expression changed a bit. "Odin told me of your plans to go to see the Norns."
"Yes, I'm sorry, my lady. I know you said I should speak to Odin about the prophecy first, but I spoke to Mimir myself and I’m going at his suggestion." I bowed my head.
"There is no need to apologize, Bryn. Oftentimes we are forced to break the rules, to disobey, in order to achieve what is closest to our hearts." Frigga rose and paced the length of the dais. "In this case, the prophecy entwines you with the life and death of Odin, and thus to Loki, too. I can understand why you would be compelled to change your fate. But be aware, Bryn. Sometimes, even when the opportunity comes to divert your fate from the path foretold, you may choose to make the decision yourself to let it be. Or there may be times when no matter how hard you try to redirect your fate, the path reverts to the one foretold."
I understood exactly what Frigga meant, and I was prepared.