“I was hoping you'd go with him.”
She turned to see Morgan standing in the doorway. She shook her head. “My place is here.”
“The hell it is,” he said roughly. “Your place is behind walls, with an army of security to take care of you.”
“That's what you were hired to do.” She smiled faintly. “Remember?”
“I remember everything.” He looked away from her. “Enough to know you were lying through your teeth when you told Logan I'd treated you decently.”
“You shouldn't eavesdrop.”
“It's one of my minor sins. You're already familiar with the big ones.”
“You did treat me decently . . . in perspective. Galen told me once to go over everything that had happened since Arapahoe and I'd probably find that you weren't as bad as I thought you were.”
“Yeah, let's go over it. I drugged you, kidnapped you, drove a stake into your shoulder, and then I fucked you.”
Pain rippled through her. “Did you fuck me? That's an ugly word and I don't think it was ugly at all. Do you?”
“Everything I touch seems to turn ugly, except my work. I had no right to—” He saw her expression and took an impulsive step forward before he stopped. “No, it wasn't ugly. It was damn beautiful. You were—” He was silent an instant before smiling mockingly. “You're being a little too generous. I'm waiting for the knockout punch.”
“You'll wait a long time. I'm tired of fighting.” She shook her head wearily. “I had a long time to think while we were in that van. Too much has happened for me to worry about pride or ego. I think maybe you've got a lot of problems, but I can't take them on right now.”
“I never asked you to take them on.”
“But I'm not like you. I can't stay at a distance. I have to dive in and start swimming. I . . . liked what we did. You made me feel . . .”
“Cherished?”
“I was afraid to say it.” She met his eyes. “And you can mock all you please. But, yes, cherished. And you couldn't have made me feel like that if you hadn't felt something. You're not the man I would have chosen to make me feel that special, but it happened. So I'm having to take a good long look at you.”
“I wouldn't look too deep. I show well at long range, but close up I've been known to—”
“Oh, shut up. I'm not even sure you know what kind of man you are.”
“I know exactly who and what I am.” He smiled. “And it's not a hero. You're not going to find your father in me, Alex.”
“God, no. But my father wasn't a hero all the time. He couldn't keep his marriage together. He was more a kid than a grown-up. He even forgot my high-school graduation and went to a Mets game.” She swallowed to ease the tightness of her throat. “But he was sweet and kind and that's all that mattered. I knew when it really counted he'd be there for me.” She started past him. “And I'm not sure you're any of those things, but if you're even one of them, watch out. You caught me off guard when you pushed me away. I usually don't discourage easily.”
“Alex . . . this isn't—”
“I'm not talking about it any longer. I just had to get it out in the open. I can't live with my whole life in turmoil, and this is the only thing I have any control over.” She patted his arm as she passed him. “Don't worry, you're safe for a while. Where's my duffel? I have to set up my computer. I want to print out your last conversation with Powers and study it.”
“It's about time you answered, Runne,” Betworth said. “Where the hell have you been?”
“I had some things to do. I did what you told me. Powers is dead. I couldn't get Morgan. You'll have to help me find him again.”
“Oh, will I?”
“You'll help me. You promised you'd help me.”
“But that was before you made a mess of the Powers job.”
“I killed him. That's what you wanted.”
“I wanted a clean death with no loose ends. But I understand Morgan and Alex Graham were in the house that night. Could Powers have told him anything?”
Shame and guilt rushed over Runne in a hot tide. Betworth mustn't know he'd failed. He was within an inch of discarding him, and Runne couldn't find Morgan without the bastard. “I don't make mistakes. He didn't see him before I got there.”
“And Powers was dead before you left.”
“He was dead before I left.”
“Excellent. Not perfect. But we're able to do damage control.”
“Tell me where Morgan went.”
“We haven't discovered that as yet. But there's a good chance that he'll be at Z-3. He's been busy putting pieces together. You may be running into him there.”