“Well, let’s hope five is the charm.”
That was exactly what I was hoping.
I could have used that Valium that night. I lay awake most of the night, worrying about the damage that this surgery could do. My deepest fear was that the paralysis would spread upward, that I would lose control of my bowels and my urinary tract. That I would no longer be able to make love to Ricki. What would happen then?
She’d leave. She’d have to. Or I’d send her away.
But then I imagined walking up to her, touching her face while she was standing. Of taking her into my arms and carrying her over a threshold.
It was worth it.
Chapter 29
At the Compound
Ash was up early. He’d gotten a call from a new client, an executive who’d gotten a couple of kidnapping threats against his children. He was to meet with him in his office before the start of the day, so that meant dragging his ass out of bed before dawn. He was reading the news on his iPad, drinking instant coffee over the sink, when his cell phone rang.
“Mr. Grayson? This is Dr. Paulson. I was wondering if you had a second.”
“All the time in the world. But it’s not going to get David to agree to the surgery.”
Dr. Paulson cleared his throat. “Well,” he said slowly, “it’s unethical of me to give away patient information. But, because you happen to be this patient’s brother, I thought I’d call and just chat before I head to surgery. At eight a.m.”
For a second, Ash thought the doctor had gone insane. And then it clicked.
“You’re kidding me!”
“Like I said, I can’t discuss a particular patient’s information. This was just a friendly chat.”
“Of course.”
Ash disconnected the call and then texted Donovan.
David’s having surgery today. Get everyone down to the hospital!
Then he left, totally forgetting the client he was supposed to be meeting.
Chapter 30
David
I finally fell asleep an hour or so before dawn. And then the anesthesiologist was there, shoving a needle into my IV as he asked me a bunch of inane questions. I could barely focus and the Valium didn’t help much. I closed my eyes again, and then Ash was there.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.
“One last thing by myself,” I mumbled.
“You idiot,” he said, leaning down to kiss my forehead like he used to do when we were little. He hadn’t done it in years. For some reason that made me want to cry.
“Fucking medicine,” I muttered, as tears began to roll down the sides of my face.
“We’ll all be here when you wake up,” he promised.
“Not Ricki,” I said, as the orderly walked into the room and announced it was time to go. “I don’t….hopes up.”
Ash squeezed my hand. “It’ll be alright.”
I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew I was in the operating room. The anesthesiologist was talking, but I couldn’t focus long enough to understand a word of it. And then I closed my eyes and I was gone again.
Chapter 31
At the Compound…At the Hospital
“How long has it been?”
Rose touched Ash’s arm while Donovan looked at his watch as if it had been more than a minute since the last time Ash asked.
“Four hours.”
“Someone should talk to Ricki,” Kate said, gesturing to David’s phone in Ash’s hand. “She’s called half a dozen times.”
“How do you know it’s Ricki?” Ash asked.
“Who else would call that frequently?”
Ash glanced at the phone and, sure enough, it was Ricki’s number that came up when he checked the call history. He knew he should talk to her, but he wanted to honor his brother’s wishes, too.
What if something went wrong? What if the doctor’s hand slipped and David’s paralysis spread? What if they couldn’t get all the bone fragments again? What if the damage was just too bad? What if this didn’t change anything?
What if his brother died on the table?
Ash began to pace, aware of his friends watching him but not really caring. He needed to move. He needed this to be okay. He’d already lost Alexi and his parents. He could lose David, too.
So he paced. What else could he do?
Every time the doors down the hall opened, the doors through which the doctors would come, he jumped. But four hours passed, then five, then six. Waiting was always the worst part. When they were waiting for news on Donovan back in January, he thought he would go insane. But this…it was so much worse.
“I did this to him,” he suddenly announced. “If it goes wrong, it’s because I pushed him into it. I made him do this.”