“Hey, wait!”
But he was already gone, rolling his chair back into the kitchen. I got up to follow, my fork poised for another dip in that lovely concoction. He’d placed the hot pan on the counter, the thick plastic pads he’d had under it still resting on his thighs. I tried to reach over him to grab another bite, but he rolled backward, nearly crushing my toes in the process.
“Tease!” I accused him, as I backed up, keeping my toes out of his way.
“I’m the tease? Who showed up on my doorstep calling me a broken person? Do you really think you can play with my emotions that way?” he asked, making a pouty face that was so exaggerated that there was no mistaking the fact that he was teasing me.
“What do I have to do to get more then?”
His eyebrows rose. “I can think of a thing or two.”
“I’m sure you can.”
I let my eyes move over his body slowly, pretending to be annoyed. But the truth was, the man had an awesome body. I could stare at him for hours on end…between those broad shoulders, his six-pack, and that impressive cock. There was even a tattoo on his ankle that I’d been dying to ask him about, but I was simply afraid I’d learn something about his past I was no longer interested in pursuing.
Amazing how your thoughts can change in such a short time. We’d been seeing each other for six days and already I was trying to forget why I sought out Gray Wolf Security in the first place.
He rolled closer to me, sliding his hands over my outer thighs before grabbing my hips and tugging me down onto his lap. I fell kind of awkwardly but managed to keep from hurting either of us. And then he was kissing me, his lips soft as cashmere against mine. I was pretty sure I’d never get enough of his kisses, even if we did nothing all day but kiss. There was just something about the way he touched me that made me ache for more.
“Tell me what you want,” I said when I came up for air.
He studied my face, his hand moving over my shoulder. “It’s not about what I want.”
“Why not?”
His eyes dropped to my breasts where they were barely hidden under his t-shirt. But I’m not sure he was really looking at them. He was lost somewhere that I couldn’t follow. It wasn’t the first time, but it hurt like it was.
I cupped my hand around his jaw and forced him to look up at me.
“Why aren’t you allowed to want things like the rest of humanity? What makes you different?”
“I’ve hurt people, Ricki.”
“Haven’t we all?”
“Not like what I did.”
“What about your friends? The ones who were soldiers? Are you telling me they never killed anyone, never looked down the scopes of their rifles and shot someone who had a wife, a child, parents?”
“That’s different. They were trained soldiers.”
“But they’re still allowed to want things? Donovan’s still allowed to want his girlfriend? And Ash is still allowed to grieve for his fiancée? But you aren’t?”
He pulled his face out of my grip and pushed my hip, trying to dislodge me from his chair. However, I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Is this about your parents?”
“You don’t know anything about that,” he said, his voice more intentionally cruel than I’d have thought him capable until that moment.
“Then tell me.”
He shook his head, pushing at my hip again.
“You can’t punish yourself forever,” I said, anger suddenly bursting through my chest. “You blaming yourself for something that was so clearly an accident is like me blaming myself for what my stepfather did to me! It’s ridiculous!”
“You don’t know shit about it,” he growled.
“Obviously. Because you won’t talk about it.” I climbed off his lap and stormed to the bedroom, yelling over my shoulder, “I think you like being a damn martyr. That way you won’t ever have to live down here in the gutter with the rest of us humans, where we all accept that we can’t control everything.”
I grabbed my slacks and yanked them over my hips, remembering only as I was buttoning them that I’d forgotten my panties. Fuck! I just left them there, lying in a pathetic puddle on the floor as I tore his t-shirt off and replaced it with my silk blouse, my nipples instantly hardening as the cold material touched them. I shoved my bra into my pocket and shoved my feet into my shoes as David rolled his chair up to the door.
“Ricki…”
I shook my head. “I thought I could do this,” I said. “I thought I could pretend that I was as cold as most of my employees think I am. The Ice Queen, they call me just because I saved a dozen jobs by cutting their employee compensation. But that’s not me. Not anymore.”