It was all his fault, she thought, trying to summon annoyance with the hope that it would counteract the growing tension. He thought he was so smart when it came to her. Sure, he was being really nice and helping more with Josh, but so what? It had only been a few weeks. It wasn’t as if she could trust him.
Which wasn’t really the problem, she admitted to herself. The problem was she missed him. Missed them. Greg had always been the only man in her life, and she didn’t want that to change. She wanted them back together. She wanted what they’d had before the affair, only without the drama. She wanted a husband she could depend on and she wanted that man to be Greg.
Heat burned low in her belly. She recognized desire. It was brought on by too many months alone and the close proximity to the only man she’d ever been with. Whatever else had gone wrong between them, the sex had been right.
Indecision tore at her. She wanted to ask him in...ask him to stay. She wanted to make love with him. Fast and hot, then more slowly. She wanted to feel his body next to hers, his hands everywhere. She wanted to kiss him until she was wet and swollen and oh so ready to be taken.
But they were divorced and she just wasn’t sure. What if she asked and he said no? For all she knew, he was sleeping with someone else.
The thought stabbed her, leaving her nearly breathless. She was still dealing with the possibility when he pulled into the driveway.
“Thanks for the drive home,” she said and opened the passenger door.
“You okay?”
“Fine.” She slid to the ground. He started to get out of his truck, but she waved him back in place. “I’m fine. I’ll see you later.”
“Rachel, what’s up?”
“Nothing. Good night.” She slammed the car door shut and practically ran to the house. Once inside, she leaned against the door.
What was wrong with her? So what if Greg was sleeping with someone else? They weren’t together anymore. He could do what he wanted. With whomever he wanted. They were both used to having great sex. Unless she was fooling herself. After all, he’d been with at least one other woman and she’d only ever been with him. Maybe what she thought was great sex was just ordinary. Maybe it was better with other women and he would have told her no, anyway.
Thoughts swirled and danced, leaving her confused and with a headache. Not knowing what else to do, she started the long, lonely walk back to her solitary bedroom. The one she’d once shared with the only man she’d ever loved.
19
WHEN COURTNEY STILL hadn’t heard from her mother five days after the dinner, she knew there was a problem. The question was how to deal with it. The wedding was less than two months away and details had to be finalized. Perhaps more to the point, they were still a family, and getting along seemed kind of important.
They’d gone longer without speaking, she reminded herself as she drove through town. The day she’d turned eighteen, she’d dropped out of high school, packed a bag and moved out. She hadn’t spoken to her mother for nearly a year.
But this time was different. This time was her mother not answering her. She supposed there was some karmic payback in that and she probably shouldn’t complain, but she couldn’t help wondering...and maybe worrying.
Figuring the wedding would go on regardless of the family drama, she headed for the appointment with Gracie Whitefield, local celebrity and nationally famous cake decorator.
Courtney pulled onto the quiet street and was pleased to see her mother’s car parked outside Gracie’s house. The huge old mansion had once belonged to Gracie’s husband’s uncle. From what Courtney had heard, an entire wing had been turned into an industrial kitchen for Gracie’s business.
Courtney parked behind her mom’s car. She ran through possible greetings. The first one that came to mind was “you started it,” but that was hardly mature. She knew that technically she had every right to not share any part of her life. But technicalities weren’t always helpful—especially where mothers were concerned.
She and Maggie got out of their cars at the same time. They looked at each other.
Courtney drew in a breath and went with the obvious babble. “Hi, Mom. I’m glad you’re here. I think you’re really going to like Gracie’s cakes. She’s pretty gifted.” She hesitated, knowing she had to address what had happened. “About last Thursday,” she began. “I’m sorry if you’re upset.”
Just saying the words made her wince. Talk about a weaselly apology.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” her mother told her. “Let’s just get this over with.”