Daughters Of The Bride(139)

She followed Sienna, smiling as she went, but all the while her mind was swirling and spinning as she tried to grapple with the question. Why could she love them and not love Quinn? Because if there was ever a man for her, it was him.

She reached the end of the aisle, took her place, then turned and watched her mother come into view. Everyone stood.

Maggie looked beautiful and so happy. She walked more quickly than she had at rehearsal, as if she couldn’t wait to get to her man. Neil rushed to greet her halfway, and they kissed. Everyone laughed. Holding hands, they walked back to Quinn together.

He looked at them and shook his head. “I’ve already lost control.”

There was more laughter.

Courtney wanted to join in, but she was terrified she was going to cry. Her eyes burned and her throat got tight. The truth crashed in on her. She loved Quinn, just like her mother had said. She loved him and she was scared and she’d run from him. Because she was an idiot. He was amazing. Seriously fantastic. What had she been thinking?

Okay, she hadn’t been thinking. She’d been scared. Which made sense. Under the circumstances anyone would be scared. But jeez, what had she done?

She told herself she would have a meltdown later. Right now she had to get through the ceremony and the reception. Then she would figure out what to do. There had to be a way back.

Quinn held a bible in his hands, but he didn’t open it. He also didn’t have any notes. He simply started speaking.

“Welcome to this happy event,” he began. “As many of you know, there’s more to marriage than a ceremony. There is giving your best while accepting your partner as who he or she is. There’s respect and empowerment. There’s knowing that you are each your own person, but are also so much more when you’re together. Love and commitment mean opening yourself to each other. Sharing your hopes and dreams but also your fears and the dark places inside. Love means accepting each other, acknowledging there will be both good times and bad times, but believing both are better when you’re together.”

Courtney felt her heart breaking. To think he’d offered all that to her and she’d run! How could she have been so wrong? So afraid?

“I’ve seen Maggie and Neil together,” he continued. “I know they were lucky to find each other. More than that, they were brave. Willing to risk the unknown, to make the attempt to reach out, to find their way to their well-deserved happy ending. This is just the beginning. From this moment they will step out into the most wonderful, blessed journey. We can all relax in the knowledge that they are ready.”

Courtney felt the tears spill from her eyes. She knew that everyone would think she was crying because her mother was getting married, and she was. But she was also crying for what she’d lost. She had no one to blame but herself. She probably would have gotten through it all if Quinn hadn’t, at that exact second, looked at her.

“I’m sorry,” she said before she could stop herself. Worse, she took a step toward him. Then she remembered where she was and what was happening.

Her mother turned to her. There was an expression of such love, such kindness and support, that Courtney nearly started sobbing.

“It’s all right, darling. Go ahead. Say what you have to say.”

“It’s your wedding.”

“I have the rest of my life to be married to Neil. You’re my daughter and I love you. Go on, Courtney.”

As if she knew, Courtney thought. Of course she did. Maybe everyone did but her.

“I’m sorry,” she said again, returning her attention to Quinn. “I was afraid. Because love hurts, right? Except I’ve loved my family my whole life and that was fine. And it’s not like there have been a lot of guys I loved. There weren’t any. I don’t know why. Was it me or them? I guess it doesn’t matter. But then I met you and you weren’t like anyone else. Being with you was fun and easy and safe and wonderful. I didn’t know what I was feeling because I never thought it could be love. Then you said you loved me and I was so afraid.”

She wiped her face. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I want to be strong and brave. I want to be like my sisters and my mom. I know this isn’t the right time, but I really hope you’ll give me another chance. To prove myself to you. Please.”

Quinn looked at her for a long time. She had no idea what he was thinking. He handed Neil the bible, walked over to her and pulled her close. “You don’t have anything to prove to me, Courtney. I love you. That’s not going to change.”

“Good, because I love you, too.”

Around them everyone sighed.