“But if you hadn’t loved him, then you wouldn’t have lost him.”
“Perhaps, but then I wouldn’t have had him, either. And that was worth everything.” Her mother stroked her hair. “It’s the cliché about the fact that we need rain to get a rainbow.”
“I don’t want to risk losing Quinn, so it’s safer not to love him.”
“There’s a small flaw in your plan,” her mother murmured. “You’re already in love with him.”
Courtney started to protest. She didn’t love Quinn. She’d been very clear about that. She liked him. A lot. She wanted to be with him. The list of his good qualities was endless. But that wasn’t love.
“I don’t love him,” she said firmly. “I refuse.”
Maggie patted her hand. “Yes, dear. I’m sure that’s going to work brilliantly.”
30
BY THURSDAY, RACHEL had returned to the land of the living. Her back was better. She could move with relative ease—however, she couldn’t shake the feeling of something being wrong. The problem was she didn’t know what the something was.
Sienna showed up a little before noon for a trim before the wedding. The short, spiky style was easy to maintain—requiring only regular cuts and a free hand with product.
“I can’t believe the wedding’s in a couple of days,” Sienna said as Rachel began to cut her hair. “It seemed so far away when Mom and Neil announced their engagement.”
“I know. The summer’s going by so fast. Josh starts school in less than a month.”
“Is he going to be spending more time with his dad now?”
“What do you mean?”
Sienna winced. “Crap. I might have said something I wasn’t supposed to. Do real estate agents have to keep secrets?”
“I don’t know.” Rachel lowered her arms to her sides. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Her sister looked guilty. “Jimmy happened to mention that Greg had asked him to start looking for a house. I guess he’s tired of living with his folks. So I thought that meant Greg would spend more time with Josh. Don’t say anything, okay?”
“Sure.”
Rachel’s response was automatic. She changed the subject to the fund-raising effort Sienna was involved with and managed to fill the rest of the appointment with casual conversation. But on the inside, she was seething.
How could he? She thought they were working toward something. She didn’t know exactly what she and Greg had going on, but it wasn’t supposed to end with him buying a house. She’d always thought—hoped, really—that one of the reasons he’d stayed with his folks was that he was thinking they might get back together. She’d started wondering about that, too.
But apparently, she’d been the only one showing up. Just like when they were married. She was doing all the work and he was just along for the ride. He was... He was...
She sucked in a breath as she realized she had no idea what he was doing, because she hadn’t talked to him about it. She hadn’t asked what Greg wanted and she sure hadn’t offered any thoughts of her own. She’d gone along, she’d hoped, she’d assumed, but she’d never asked. Or been clear about her feelings. She’d never once admitted she was still in love with him and wanted them to get back together.
She finished with her sister and checked her schedule. She had nearly an hour break. If Greg had been working Monday, he would be off today. She texted him and asked him to meet her at her place in five minutes.
Rachel paid attention to the road as she drove. She knew she was in a state and didn’t want to rear-end some innocent bystander. She was confused. Scared and upset and mad at both Greg and herself.
She pulled into her driveway about ten seconds before Greg pulled up next to her. He got out of his truck and circled around to hold open her SUV door.
“What’s up?”
He looked good. His T-shirt was worn with a couple of holes around the collar. He had on baggy shorts that should have been ridiculous, but weren’t. He hadn’t shaved in a couple of days.
She loved him and she had no idea if he loved her back. If he wanted a relationship with her or if he was just playing her. Fear swept through her—terror at losing him again. And because being afraid terrified her, she retreated to something much, much safer. Anger.
“You!” She poked him in the chest as she got out of the car and glared at him. “How dare you? Was it fun for you? Did you get a good laugh out of making me think you actually gave a damn?”
In the back of her mind a voice whispered that she might want to take this inside, but she ignored it and everything else except her unexpected and possibly inappropriate rage.