“We were young and made a lot of mistakes,” she said. “That’s why we split up.”
Had her mother’s actions formed parts of her character that had contributed to the failure of her marriage? Maybe, but saying that wouldn’t help anyone. She and Greg were responsible for what had happened—no one else.
“And now?” her mother asked.
“We’re friends. We like each other again.” Maybe there was more, but she wasn’t sure. “I’ve forgiven him. That feels good. We have Josh.”
“Do you want more?”
“Sometimes,” she admitted. “But that scares me. I’m not sure I could handle losing him a second time.”
“Why would you have to? You’ve learned a lot and so has he. Maybe this time it will last forever.”
That was nice to think about. Being with Greg again. Giving their marriage a second chance. And while she thought they were headed in that direction, she wasn’t sure. Because neither of them had actually said the words—or made the offer. She knew why she hadn’t, but what about him? Which brought her to her biggest fear. That she was the only one considering trying to make it work again.
29
SIENNA POURED ANOTHER glass of wine and passed it to Courtney. Her sister cradled it in her hand. They were outside in Sienna’s backyard. The night was clear and still warm. Music drifted to them from a neighbor’s house.
“I just don’t know,” Courtney was saying. “About Quinn. He said he loved me. I can’t wrap my head around that. What does it mean?”
“Not to state the obvious, but I’m guessing it means he loves you.”
“What am I supposed to do with that?”
“Do you love him back?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. No. I’m not sure.”
Sienna held in a smile. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only mentally twisted Watson sister. “Let’s try an easier question. What don’t you like about him?”
Courtney sipped her wine. “Nothing.”
“There has to be something.”
“He can be bossy, but it’s always in a nice way, and I can’t think of anything else. He’s successful, he’s kind, he loves his grandmother and her dogs, he cares about people, even though he pretends he doesn’t. He’s talented. I’m sure the other women in his life would be furious to know he’s finally ready to settle down and I’m having a freak-out. My life could be in danger.”
Sienna laughed. “Just don’t tell them.”
“Believe me, I won’t. I’m so confused.” She put her arm on the table and her head on her arm. “Tell me what to do.”
“I’m the wrong person to be giving advice. I’m equally confused, but for different reasons.”
Courtney straightened and looked at her. “You don’t love David, do you?”
Sienna hadn’t expected that. “Of course I do. Why would you say that? He’s—” She closed her eyes and drew in a breath. The truth was there—it had been there for a long time. Probably from the beginning. “I don’t love David.”
She gulped some wine, then continued. “I tried to tell him before. I tried breaking up with him. He said it was because I was scared. That Dad’s death had scarred me, but that I was the one for him. He said he’d waited for me.” She drank more wine and waited for her gut to tell her what to do. “Oh, God. I have to break off the engagement.”
Courtney patted her arm. “You’re so brave. I admire that.”
Sienna stared at her. “I can’t break up with him.”
“What? Why not?”
“He’s out of town until Mom’s wedding. Literally. He’s on a business trip, then he’s going to go see his family for a couple of days. He’ll fly in late Friday night. I can’t break up with him over the phone. That would be horrible and tacky. Plus, I have to give him back the ring.”
She glanced at her hand, then pulled it from her finger and tossed the ugly ring on the table. “I want to break up with him and I have to wait over a week. I have to talk to him on the phone and I don’t think I can do this.”
“Breathe,” Courtney instructed. “Just breathe. It says a lot that you want to face him in person. That’s very mature. As for the phone, he’ll be busy. You can be busy, too. Text rather than talk. That will make things easier.”
“You’re right. I can do this. It’s fine. I’m fine.” She swallowed more wine. “I’m also going to be drunk, but I’m not driving. How are you going to get home?”