He paused, and then added, "I don't understand why she married Greg."
That had my steps faltering for a split second. Readiness to be honest was one thing, but I hadn't quite grown accustomed to Matt's candor. He actually reminded me of Janie that way.
"They're so different. Greg is hilarious, but he can be-"
"Harsh?"
"Yes. Exactly." He nodded his agreement. "He's sarcastic. And she's not."
"She can be." I thought back on the last few years of knitting nights, remembering a few doozies of wit she'd foisted on the group.
"Hmm." His lips twisted to the side. "Anyway. It seems to work for them."
"He loves her," I noted. "They care about each other. A lot."
Matt made a face, like love was a dirty word. "I don't think caring about a person is a foolproof means to longevity in relationships. I care about my ex-wife. We cared about each other when we divorced. It wasn't enough to keep us married."
Again, I almost tripped over nothing. This time it was due to the offhanded mention of his ex-wife. "You were married?"
"Yes."
"When? For how long? How did you meet?" I was unable to stop the barrage of questions.
"I was nineteen. We met at MIT. I followed her to Cal-Tech. Things were fine at first, and then they weren't. And then they fell apart rapidly when I entered industry," he said with absolutely no malice or resentment in his tone, like he was telling me about an article he'd read.
Matt walked with his hands in his pockets. With his sunglasses and Converse, wearing jeans and a T-shirt, hair askew, he looked even younger than he had when we first met.
"How old are you?" I questioned abruptly, not sure why. "You have a Ph.D., so you've got to be late twenties?"
"I'm thirty. We've been divorced for three years. She's four years older than me."
"Huh." I inspected him anew. "So, what happened? With your wife?"
He didn't respond right away, instead scratching his chin before saying flippantly, "We never saw each other," as though that explained everything.
"Yeah, but a lot of married couples have long-distance relationships, and they make it work."
"Ours wasn't long distance. We lived together in the same house. But we never saw each other. Three months passed and I realized I hadn't spoken to her in three months. Other than sleeping next to her, I hadn't seen her."
I made a face of shock, but then quickly suppressed it. "How is that possible?"
Matt's eyebrows moved sporadically on his forehead, like he was trying to figure out what to say. "Work. I guess. She's brilliant. And passionate about her work. So am I, about mine. We attempted to make time for each other, but it just made her miserable."
"Loving you made her miserable?" I asked incredulously, irritated on his behalf.
"No. She felt like she'd worked really hard for her achievements and, being a woman in tech, felt like she needed to work twice as hard to maintain her level of success. She was right. She did." He met my irritated incredulity with excessive rationality.
"What do you mean?" I watched his profile, my heart thumping with dread for some reason.
"Instead of attending a conference, she stayed home with me for a weekend. I also took off work, which was rare. Then on Monday, she found out she'd been passed over for a project." He sounded regretful.
"That's not your fault."
"I know. It's the fault of society, that ambition in women is punished, that more is expected of them in order to prove themselves 'worthy.' I didn't want that for her. I didn't want her to be punished for trying to make our marriage work."
I couldn't bring myself to ask him if it still troubled him, so instead I asked, "Do you think you two will find your way back to each other?" My heart hurt and I fought the desire to touch him, lay a comforting hand on his arm. Though he looked and sounded completely at peace with the situation.
He smiled, but his sunglasses hid his eyes so I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not. "I don't think so. She remarried within the year after our divorce. He's a great guy."
I almost choked on my shock. "What does he do?"
"He used to be a barista at Starbucks, to pay the bills. But he's an artist. A painter, extremely talented. Now he paints full-time. He also makes a great cup of coffee."
"You've met him?"
"Oh yes. I stay at their house when I go back to the Valley."
"The Valley?"