Dating-ish (Knitting in the City #6)(21)

Source: Arria NLG plc



"I'm thinking that this could be a series of articles, about how we-and by we, I mean women, all of female humanity-can replace romantic relationships by using either paid services or robots."

I bit my lip, chewing on it, knowing I had no way to snatch the words back now. They were out there. Both Tommy and my editor had heard them. I just had to . . . commit to the crazy.

Clearly, I was mentally disturbed.

The idea had solidified late Friday night-technically early Saturday morning-and I couldn't let go of it. As a counter balance to Matt's Compassion AI, I realized paid services were the answer. Whether Matt knew it or not, he'd provided a solution to my angst. The angle would be: no one needed a romantic relationship, not if they didn't want it, not in today's age of technology and access to information and services.

Not anymore.

And I was going to prove it. I was going to free women from the shackles and disappointment of modern companionship.

Why put myself through the misery of egotistical men with their FOMO and inferiority complexes? No. Never again. I was going to give single women everywhere the tools they didn't know they needed to live relationship-free, never settling for adequate-never settling at all-and womankind would be happier for it.

"You're joking," Daniella deadpanned, sighing tiredly from her end of the conference call.

"No, no. Hear me out," I rushed to explain. "So, have you heard of professional cuddlers?"

"Yeah. I think so." She sounded bored, irritated.

"Okay, so, I think we can all agree that being single and being invested in finding a fulfilling, long-term, monogamous romantic relationship in today's current dating environment is an effort in futility. Especially for people in their thirties and forties. Men-and no offense, Tommy-are plagued by FOMO, fear of missing out. Fear of missing out on the supermodel-playmate sex fiend who loves to cook, clean, and do laundry while working a high-paying job and waxing like a porn star. This is what men in their thirties want and expect." 

"If I may," Tommy cut in, not sounding exactly perturbed, but something like it, "and women want a billionaire bodybuilder who can read their mind in the bedroom, is domineering and possessive-but not too domineering and possessive-and has tattoos-but not too many tattoos-and is in touch with his feelings-but not too in touch with his feelings."

I had to laugh at that. "Okay, okay. Fair enough. Not all women feel that way. Some women just want a good guy, an adult, someone with a job who treats his woman like a person, not a servant. Who cares about her well-being. A guy they can snuggle with on Sunday mornings. But I concede that media depictions of the ideal for both men and women have gotten out of hand. People seem to want Instagram relationships on both sides, I get that. So, the article I'm proposing would give women-our readers-viable alternatives to the abysmal state of trying to find a romantic partner."

"Go on," Daniella prompted, skeptical but no longer bored.

"One part would discuss the viability of using paid services-other people-to fill the voids created when not in a romantic relationship, and what would that look like. Can we-legally, ethically, morally-replace another person with multiple paid services, and how much would that cost? Both financially and emotionally. Professional cuddlers and massage for touch. Professional dry humpers for thrilling touch. Escorts for dinner dates, life coaches for affirmation, personal trainers for activity and movement, meditation salons for-"

"What about sex?" Tommy asked, and I knew just by the sound of his voice that he liked where I was going with this, but had reservations. "Prostitution? Are we really going to go there?"

"I was just getting to that, actually. Prostitution-let me be clear here, the exchange of money for sex acts-is illegal in all but one state in the US. And, aside from its legality, most research shows that, in the US, it contributes to the exploitation of the powerless. And even aside from the exploitation issue-which should be enough-it enforces objectification and malevolent attitudes, placing people in the box of object rather than person. And that has far-reaching consequences to the rest of society."

"Do you think that's because it's illegal?" Daniella asked. "What does the research show about countries where it is legal, where transactions occur in a safe environment and are regulated, taxed, etc.?"

"Listen, we could do a whole series on the ethics of prostitution and how it's handled across the world, but that's not what this article is about. So, for the purposes of this article, it's not a viable option. Plus, it feels too prosaic. I want to focus on creative alternatives. As an example, meditation salons that provide guided orgasm therapy are legal, and are not based on the subjugation of one-weaker-person for the benefit of another-stronger-person."