Dating The Millionaire Doctor(20)

But Tori's dogs weren't staying with Pickles at the lodge. She was taking them back to the relocatable tonight. Her new home.

She had an almost irresistible urge to stay at the lodge one more night,  but she glanced across at Jake's set face and she thought, No, one more  night would be one night too many.

Maybe last night had been one night too many-but then neither of them  had planned it. It had just happened, a primeval need that had shocked  them both.

Mrs. Matheson was on the verandah. She walked down to meet them and added her voice to the chorus urging her to stay.

'No,' she said, sounding ungracious, suddenly close to tears. She thrust  the dogs into Jake's arms and disappeared inside to fetch her  possessions. When she came back out Glenda and Mrs. Matheson and Rob had  gone. There was only Jake, leaning against her car. He was holding  Itsy, and Rusty was at his feet.

He didn't look like a millionaire, she thought inconsequentially. He looked a bit rumpled, casual, nice.

Jake.

She had to go.

She thrust her stuff into the trunk and lifted Itsy from Jake's arms  before she got teary. She put the dogs in the crate in the back seat,  and she was right to leave.

She was ready to walk away.

'Jake … thank you,' she whispered, holding out her hand in an absurdly  formal gesture of farewell-but suddenly she couldn't say anything more  because he had her in his arms and he was kissing her, in a crazy way,  in a way that said he wanted her, he needed her, she was his woman.

This had nothing to do with reality, she thought wildly, but she let herself be kissed. Of course she let herself be kissed.

And kissed and kissed.

This was still about last night. It was about the letting down of barriers-the beginning of her new life.

It had nothing to do with her wanting this man.

She couldn't want him. She couldn't.

But for just a moment, well, maybe for just several moments, she  surrendered to him, and she felt her body light from within. She felt  beautiful. She felt wanted. Jake was kissing her, holding her, her  breasts were moulding to his chest, her feet were hardly touching the  ground-and she felt all woman.

And when finally he let her go, when finally he put her away from him  and held her at arm's length, she felt as if her world was shifting.

She felt breathless and bruised … and like she couldn't bear to walk away.

And it seemed that neither could he. 'Come to Manhattan with me,' he  said, and her world didn't just shift; it threatened to roll right over.

'Come to Manhattan?'

'Tori, this thing between us … '

'What … thing?'

'The thing that says I want you,' he said simply.

Simple? There was nothing simple about this. What was he asking? She stared up at him, dazed beyond belief.

'Tori, I don't understand this,' he said softly, tugging her close  again, kissing her hair. 'I've never felt like this. I've never expected  to feel like this. But now …  I'm due to start work back in Manhattan  next week and how can I leave? How can I walk away from you?'

'I guess … you don't have to leave,' she whispered, trying to make sense of what he was saying. 'You own two houses here.'

'This is my father's world, not my world,' he said, and suddenly he  sounded more sure of his ground. He sounded forceful, determined, even a  little angry that she could make such a suggestion. 'I'm an  anaesthetist in a large teaching hospital. I'm good at what I do. I've  worked hard to get there. But you and I … '

'You and I.' She said the words slowly. 'You and I? There's a "we"?  Jake, you don't have room in your life for a puppy. Yet you ask me … '

'Plenty of doctors have wives.'

Wives. The word hung between them. It felt like a threat, Tori thought,  suddenly bleak beyond description. Plenty of doctors have wives.         

     



 

Was he asking her to marry him? What a thought. What a way to bring it up if he was.

'So … these doctor's wives … they don't need big yards?'

His brow snapped downwards. 'What the …  That's not what I'm saying.'

'So what are you saying? You're asking me to marry you?'

'I don't know,' he said explosively. 'I hadn't even thought of marriage.  But the way you make me feel …  You just do something to me.'

'You're saying it's my fault?'

'I'm not talking about fault.'

'No,' she said bleakly. 'But you don't want this. To feel like this.'

'I can't pretend. I never intended to … '

'Of course you didn't, and I won't be proposed to against your better  judgement,' she said, suddenly angry. 'To be slotted into your life in  the few minutes you're home between work and sleep? In a place where  there's no one I love? How can you ask that of me?'

'We could take Itsy and Rusty back with us. We could get a larger  apartment.' He raked his hair and she thought, He really hasn't thought  this through. He hadn't even known he was going to ask her to join him  until the words were out of his mouth. Now he was trying to figure out  how he could make it work. 'We could make arrangements,' he said.

'I don't want to make arrangements,' she snapped. Anger had arrived now,  coming to her aid in a red hot mist. He thought he was attracted to  her, so he'd take her home, like a puppy from a pet shop, without even  doing the groundwork. Plenty of doctors have wives. What sort of  statement was that?

'I'd take up space in your life, Jake Hunter, and you don't have space  to give,' she told him, knowing she was right, even if it hurt like  crazy to say it. 'My community is here. My work is here. My life is  here. It's not sitting in some drab New York apartment waiting for you  to get home at night.'

'It's not drab.'

'What colour is it?'

'Grey, but-'

'I rest my case.'

'Tori, this is stupid.'

'It is, isn't it,' she said, and suddenly, inexplicably, the anger died.  For somehow she knew where he was coming from. He was as confused as  she was, and as blown away by the unexpectedness of it. 'I know,' she  said, much more mildly. 'You're feeling about me the way I'm feeling  about you, like we have something special. But honestly, we don't. We  had a … a frisson. Like a lightning bolt or something that shocked us and  made us think we were special. Only you know what happens after  lightning hits? You run in case it hits again. You don't want to be a  part of my life, Jake, and I can't think I could possibly be part of  yours. So let's just get over it.'

There was a long silence while anger dissipated. While sense prevailed.

'If that's what you want … ' he said at last.

It's not what I want, she thought. But what did she want?

She wanted him to sweep her into his arms and carry her off into some  magical happy ever after-only he didn't even have a yard for a dog.  Where was the happy ever after in that?

'We need to say goodbye,' she said, struggling with her dignity, and  Jake looked down into her eyes for a long, long moment and then finally  he nodded.

'We do.'

Her anger was completely gone now. This was Jake, the man she'd loved  last night. The man she could still love. The man she might even learn  to trust. Anger was gone, but sadness took its place. Regret that a  different time, a different place, could have worked.

'Goodbye,' he said softly, and she thought, I will not cry, I will not.

But then he smiled down at her and suddenly she didn't want to cry. She  tilted her chin and met his gaze square on. This wasn't about loss. This  wasn't about grief. It couldn't be.

Jake had been a watershed, a magical, romantic way to start her new  life. He'd been her knight in shining armour, she thought mistily, and  while the thought remained she stood on tiptoes and kissed him, lightly  this time, and gently.

'My Lancelot.'

'Lancelot?' He sounded confused.

'You were my white knight, right when I needed you most.'

'A white knight,' he said, sounding revolted, and she grinned.

'Only for two days,' she said. 'While I played damsel in distress. Only  now I'm not. So thank you, Jake. Off you go, then-back to New York, to  your medicine. I wonder if there're more damsels in distress in  Manhattan.'         

     



 

'I suspect most women where I come from know how to rescue themselves.'

She didn't like that. It sounded as though she needed to get a bit of  spine. She straightened and she pulled her hands away and she put as  much spine in her voice as she could.'

'I'll remember you for ever,' she said, firmly and surely. 'I'm sure I  could have rescued myself, but it was much more fun being rescued by  you. Thank you very much, Dr. Hunter. I'm sorry I can't follow you to  Manhattan. I'm sorry I couldn't buy Bitsy as well as Itsy, and I'm sorry  you don't have a yard. Meanwhile we need to move on. We both have our  careers to get back to.'

And somehow she smiled-and he mustn't know just how hard that smile was-and she climbed into the car and started the engine.

'Goodbye, Tori,' Jake said, but her car was already moving.



He felt sick. He stood in the car park of his father's lodge and watched until he could no longer see her car.

He'd let her go.

He had to. He'd asked her to come with him and she'd refused. What did she expect? That he stay here?

He thought back to the little scene back at Shoebox Mansions, to her  impromptu clinic. People needing her. People expecting her to help at  any time.