'I know people,' Tori offered, and Jake sent her a smile that made her feel even more dazed.
'There you go, then. First cab off the rank is our local vet. They say there are six levels of connection between you and anyone else in the world. I'm thinking Tori will do it in two.' And then, as Glenda looked at him in disbelief, he touched her cheek, a huge gesture, Tori thought, for someone who seemed to hold himself so aloof.
'It's okay,' he told her. 'The nerve-specific pain relievers are easy on the tummy, and it's not like you'll need them forever. You also need a hand therapist, and you need her urgently as well, if that hand isn't to turn into a claw. You think you might be able to find us one of those, Tori?'
'Dad's old vet nurse has a daughter who's a hand therapist,' Tori said, absurdly pleased. 'She works in the same clinic as the doctor I use.'
'There you are, then,' Jake said. 'But first … let's pack that hand in heat before you go to bed. We'll pack it in hot-water bottles, or heat packs if Rob's got them. We'll give you some of that morphine-yes, it has side effects, but I'm thinking this is the last time you'll take it-and then you'll sleep. That's an order.'
And he said it so sternly that, to Tori's astonishment, Glenda giggled.
'Yes, Doctor,' she said.
'That's what I like,' he said. 'An obedient patient.'
'Thank you,' Doreen breathed, and Tori looked from Jake to Glenda and then back to Jake and she thought, I am in such trouble.
Do not trust?
How could she not?
She didn't have a choice. Concentrate on work, she thought suddenly, fiercely. Jake was being kind because he was a doctor. Maybe she should think of a way she could be useful, too.
'Rob, tomorrow you and I need to talk about your pet policy,' she ventured, as Glenda glowed at her and then glowed back at Jake. She looked as if she might be as smitten as Tori was feeling. 'If you're giving fire victims time out, what they most need is the people and pets they love. Are you allergic to cats, Jake?'
'No, but … '
'But what?'
'But nothing,' he told her and shrugged and smiled. 'There don't seem to be many buts right now.'
Where was the aloof man she'd met at five-minute dating? He was unbending by the minute.
'You organise it,' he said. 'Tell Rob what he needs to do and he'll do it. What you're capable of … are you sure you're just a vet?'
'I'm just a vet,' she said, a trifle unsteadily, but Jake's smile was making her feel as if she didn't know what she was any more.
Do not trust.
'If you'll excuse me,' she said unsteadily, 'I'm really very tired and Rusty will be waiting. Goodnight, all.'
And because the night really was getting blurry-because she didn't understand how the expression on Jake's face was making her feel-she rose and fled, just as fast as her dignity allowed her.
CHAPTER FIVE
E XHAUSTION took care of the first part of the night. It almost always did. But despite the wonderful meal, the fabulous bed and the feeling of being nurtured, the demons were never far away. Tori woke as she'd done for the past six months, at three in the morning, to stare wide-eyed into the dark. Remembering a darkness she'd never forget.
Rusty had gone to sleep on her bed. Now, however, he was where he always was at this time of the morning, with his nose hard against the door, waiting for someone to come home.
'It's time we both stopped waiting for them,' she told him, but he whimpered and pawed the door and she rose to let him out, to show him that no one was on the other side of the door.
Rusty had been one of a pack. Maybe she should get a new pup, she thought. Maybe that'd help. Somewhere, sometime, she'd read that a measure of a life well lived was how many good dogs could be fitted in. As a vet and dog lover since childhood, she accepted that for a fundamental truth. But still … To take that last step and move on …
She wasn't ready and she wasn't sure Rusty was either.
She walked out onto the verandah and gazed up at the mountains looming above. The moon was vast and full, turning the night into a sepia version of daylight, with the blackened landscape softened, disguised.
Rusty nosed her ankle and whimpered.
'We shouldn't be off the ridge,' she whispered, stooping to hug him. 'It feels wrong.'
It wasn't wrong. She had to start her new life. Tomorrow?
But maybe she'd come down too quickly. Right now it felt as if she'd forgotten something very important.
'Maybe we need to say goodbye,' she whispered. 'Come on, Rusty, we can do this. Do this and move on.'
She slipped back into her room and tugged on jeans and windcheater, then headed out again, her little dog at her heels. She didn't go out through the house, though. She didn't want to wake the household, so she slipped out onto the verandah, down through the rose garden, around the corner of the house to the car park-and she barrelled straight into Jake coming in the opposite direction.
For a moment all her breath was pushed out of her. Shock left her speechless. Jake had caught her, steadied her by her shoulders, looked quizzically down at her. Then, as Rusty whimpered, he squatted and patted the little dog under the ear.
'Hey, it's okay,' he told him. 'I'm a friend.'
Rusty nuzzled his hand and moved closer to Jake's ankle. Which was surprising all by itself, Tori thought, feeling breathless. Rusty hadn't responded to anyone since his master's death.
'Are you running away?' Jake asked mildly, looking up at her in polite enquiry. 'Aren't you supposed to have a pole with a bandana slung over your shoulder? I don't think running away's proper without them.'
'We're not going far,' she managed, struggling to make her voice work. 'Why are you up?'
'I couldn't sleep,' he said simply. 'I had a whole lot of my preconceptions stood on their head at dinner. It's taking a bit of getting my head around.'
'Like, your father loved you?'
'There's a way to go before I'll believe that,'he said, and his smile faded. 'Words are easy. But you … You're going where?'
'Up to the ridge.'
'You forgot something?' He'd straightened. His gaze held hers, serious, compassionate.
'I … Yes.'
'Do you want company?'
'I don't … ' She faltered. Say no, her head screamed. But there was something about this night. There was something about this man.
'We left too fast,' she whispered. 'Tomorrow Rusty and I will move on-we need to. We'll start a new life. But for six months we've simply been putting one foot in front of another, over and over, and in Rusty's case we've even lost a foot doing it. I thought … Tonight I wanted to just say … '
She faltered but his gaze didn't waver. He took her hands. 'Of course you do,' he said softly. 'Can I drive you?'
'I don't-'
'If you don't want company, then I'll wait here for you to come back,' he said. 'If you need to be alone, then I understand-of course I do. I'll sit here and wait, and see if I can get rid of my own demons, and if you don't come back by dawn, then I'll come up to the ridge and demand the ghosts give you back. You belong in the real world, Tori. Tonight the real world will look out for you. I'll look out for you.'
And she knew that he would. Trust? There was that word again, raising its ugly head, but the night was still and beautiful and Jake was watching her with a look that was nonjudgemental, nonpossessive or needy. It was simply … caring?
The sensation was insidious in its sweetness and there was no way in the wide world she could resist.
'Then yes, please,' she whispered, stupid or not. 'I'd love it if you would come with me.
So they headed up to the ridge, with Jake driving and Rusty cradled on Tori's knee. Only instead of glancing out the window all the time, as Rusty always did, the little dog kept glancing across at Jake.
As did Tori. She didn't understand what she was feeling. She mistrusted the instinct that had her accepting his company, but for now Jake's presence was warm and solid and real, and strangely it made what she wanted to do feel even more right.
They drove past Jake's darkened farmhouse, the hub of so much activity over the past six months, and that felt strange. Then they turned into the drive of what once had been her home and that felt worse.
Even the night couldn't disguise the destruction. Blackened fence posts, massive trees, felled and not yet cleared, a gaping void in the blackened bushland where the house had once been.
A chimney rising out of the ashes like a lone sentinel, a monument to what had happened.
'I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like,' Jake murmured, and Tori shook her head, tears not far away. What was it with this man? She hadn't cried for six months. How could she cry now?
'I was in the valley,' she whispered. 'I couldn't get back. The whole mountain was on fire. I was going out of my mind. Everyone with people we love up here was going out of their minds. It took three days before we could get back. Three days … '
He didn't respond, just looked steadily out at the ruins, and she knew by his silence that he could see how it must have been.
She climbed out of the car, and he didn't follow as she made her way carefully over the ruins. Jake knew instinctively that she didn't want him to follow. Rusty came with her, limping by her side, but he had the right. This had been home for both of them.