Darkness (New Species #12)(41)

“It was. It was breaking us apart inside. Four was more sensitive than the others. He hesitated during the killing. We tried to cover for him and hold him together. He grew mentally unstable but we were able to hide it from the humans. Two had anger issues. He enjoyed the killing a little too much. He saw all humans as the enemy. We tried to conceal his flaw. Three was like you, Fury.” He smiled, a fond memory surfacing. “You remind me of him.”
“How?”
“He was very reasonable but he was one to watch closely when he was angry. He’d think about it before he acted.” Darkness chuckled. “He stood up to me and did it in a way I admired. Very clever and always had my back. We were the closest. We would talk often and assess the other two, working as a team to protect their flaws. He could make me laugh. He had a keen sense of humor.” Darkness rose and walked over to the mini fridge. “May I?” 
“Help yourself.”
He removed a soda and opened it, taking a drink. He couldn’t sit any longer and paced instead, avoiding Fury’s gaze. Darkness didn’t know how to tell the rest of it. The male’s chair creaked and Fury moved in front of him.
“Just talk to me. I want to hear it all.”
Darkness set the drink down. “I don’t think you’ll want a bond with me after you do.”
“Try me.”
“I trusted Galina. I opened up to her and talked to her. She said she loved me and I felt highly bonded to her. I shared my fears. We were waiting for a human named Darwin Havings to leave her campsite. He had a lot of guards with him and the security would lighten when he was gone. It would give her a real chance at reaching the male monitoring our camp, force him to give her the pass code to unlock our collars, and then we could take out everyone at our camp to reach hers. She’d given me detailed directions on how to reach her. It was only a few miles away. We planned to steal their vehicles from her location. She said she could drive and she had friends who could hide us. We’d work out the rest later.”
Fury kept close, watching him.
“Havings was set to leave in four days. That was the time we planned to make our escape. She was able to get an exact time, stating she’d overheard some of his personal guards making the arrangements. All of us were excited. We had no idea what awaited us in the out world but we were ready to find out. It had to be better than being returned to Mercile or staying there, forced to kill for them. She left my bed to return to her camp and orders came to us that we were going out that night to attack another group of humans. No one was to be left alive.”
“It went bad,” Fury guessed.
“There were no males there.” Darkness clenched his teeth and took a calming breath. “It was all females and their young.”
Fury wavered a little on his feet. “It was kill or die.”
“Those females and children screamed when we entered their camp, cowering and crying. We terrified them. They weren’t armed and the few weapons they had in camp, they didn’t even go for or attempt to defend themselves. They were too frightened and shocked by the sight of us. It would have been a slaughter. We refused and left. The humans on scene ordered us to turn around and go back. We ignored them.”
Fury didn’t hide his look of relief and Darkness didn’t blame him for feeling that emotion. Dread showed on Fury’s features next. “They killed our brothers as punishment.”
Darkness could have just nodded. That was the easy way out. It would leave the male peace of mind to know they’d died for a good reason. “I wish it were that simple.” He took a deep breath. “Sit down.” He took his own advice and returned to the seat on the other side of the desk.
Fury sat. “Tell me the rest.”
“We were returned to the camp and the human in charge was furious. He was someone I would have gladly killed with my bare hands. He ordered us to go back but we refused. We stood there in the formation they’d taught us, five feet from each other in a line. That human ordered the one with the device controlling our collars to step forward and he took possession of it. He said he’d set off the collars if we didn’t kill. We stood there. Four died instantly.”
Fury paled but nodded. He said nothing.
“Three knew it was coming. He didn’t attempt to run. There was nowhere to go. We couldn’t attack with success and twelve guards had their weapons ready to open fire if we moved. He died next.”“You can stop. This is too hard on you. I get it.”
A lump of emotion nearly choked Darkness. “You don’t. Two didn’t die that way. I killed him.”
Fury paled more. “Why?”
“Two roared out from his rage and told the human he’d return to that camp and tear them apart. He needed a target for his anger. I could see it in his eyes. Watching our brothers die stole what sanity he had left. He was no longer the male I knew. The human in charge laughed, saying he knew we had a breaking point. He ordered us to return to the camp to kill those females and young. I could see Two wanted to shed blood. I reacted as soon as the human in charge turned his back to speak to the ones under his command, congratulating them on their success. I lunged at Two and broke his neck.”
Fury closed his eyes and Darkness looked away. He couldn’t blame the male for not being able to stand looking at him anymore. He lowered his head and stared at his hands—the same ones that had killed his brother.
“Darkness, look at me.”
He forced his head up and held the other male’s gaze. Tears shimmered in his eyes but he didn’t glimpse hatred there.
“I’m so sorry,” Fury rasped.
“So am I.”
“I would have done the same. You couldn’t allow him to strike out at the innocent.”
“There’s more to tell. Don’t feel compassion for me yet.”
“Nothing could be worse.”
“The human in charge was enraged and began to curse. I returned to my spot in the line. I thought he’d either detonate my collar or order the guards to open fire on me. I was ready to die. I’d lost my brothers and the grief was deep. I’d never felt such pain before.”
“I feel it with you.”
Darkness held his gaze. “They returned me to the tent. I didn’t understand why they allowed me to live until about half an hour later. The human in charge entered with six guards and Galina. I saw her and knew it was punishment. They planned to kill her in front of me to make me suffer more.”
“Fuck.” Fury reached up and used his finger and thumb to wipe away tears that threatened to spill.
“I apologized to her. She was going to die because of my actions. I thought if I attacked that they would kill me and she might live. I tensed, prepared to do just that.”
Fury sucked in a breath. “They probably would have killed her anyway.”
“She laughed, Fury. She told me I should apologize for all the times she’d had to pretend to enjoy my touch when I revolted her. At first I believed she was just saying the words in order to stall for more time but she kept going. She had lied to me. All of it was a lie. She worked for them for money. She’d had young but assured me she’d given them away at birth since she wasn’t the motherly type. I stood there stunned while she berated me for being stupid and how she’d shared everything I’d told her with Darwin Havings. They knew we had flaws and she was brought in to gain my trust to discover them. They’d sent us to that camp knowing it only held females and young to see if we’d become the weapons they wanted us to be. We failed.” 
Fury snarled.
Darkness looked at his hands. “She’d been told the test was over, the program closing down, and that they were going to kill me. Darwin Havings had promised she could watch me die and she’d come to see it. She voiced her disappointment over not witnessing our brothers’ deaths.”
He looked up then. “Darwin Havings entered the tent and told her she was fired. He wasn’t going to allow her to sell the information about what she’d been a part of and he’d never trust a whore to keep her word. He looked at me and said she was one woman I shouldn’t mind killing. They left her alone with me.”
“You killed her.” Fury’s tone was soft.
Darkness didn’t flinch. “I did. She pulled a knife and came at me. I could have disabled her without death. I didn’t. She attempted to stab me in the heart but I was faster. It was over in seconds. They trained us to kill with efficiency. I made it painless and fast.”
“She deserved to suffer,” Fury whispered.
Darkness nodded in agreement. “I cared about her though. Even then, after learning what she’d done. I had trusted her, had made that fatal error. I cost our brothers their lives.” He got to his feet. “I’m sorry.” He spun, heading to the door.
He tried to open it but Fury’s hand darted out to press against it. He turned and looked into his eyes, the male standing inches away. “Do you want to fight? I won’t hit you back. I deserve a beating at the very least.”
Fury surprised him when the male grabbed him and jerked him against his body. He thought he might go for his throat but the male just kept his arms around him. It sank in that he was hugging him. He hesitantly lifted his hands but didn’t know what to do or where to put them. Males didn’t hug other males. At least never where he was concerned.