“I don’t see it.”
Missy sat. “Eat breakfast.”
“You’re bossy today.”
“I’m grumpy. We didn’t get enough sleep last night and I’m kind of jealous. The only guys who are interested in me are creeps. They find out what I do for a living and instantly assume I’m some kind of porn star/sex fiend. The only action I see is what my imagination comes up with.”
“Did you hear the part where I mentioned how he’s never going to see me again? He was a control freak too.”
“You intimidate men so you need a strong, take-charge guy.”
Kat lifted her toast and bit into it. She chewed and swallowed. “He’s over the top.”
“Says the woman who made her last boyfriend cry.”
“He wasn’t a wuss. He put his foot down eventually.”
“He stood up to you right until you told him to shove it up his ass if he thought you were going to quit your job to make him happy. Then came the tears and the shitload of flowers he sent. I was the one who had to sign for them and read the cards to you since you were too swamped at work to make the drive home. Do I need to remind you of the begging that went on?”
“We still would have had the same issues. I did him a favor by not calling him back. He was too needy.”
“You walked all over him. Let’s just cut to the chase.”
“Jason was a great guy.”
“He was. He was too nice though. You need someone tougher than you are and those men are hard to find. You aren’t the easiest person to get close to. You need a man who won’t allow you to keep him emotionally distanced.”
“Well, Darkness knows all about building walls and keeping people out. I could take lessons from him.”
“Exactly. He made you feel when you didn’t want to. That’s what you need. You’re both hardheaded and stubborn. It sounds like a perfect match to me.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I said more than enough last night.”
“So you’ve reached the deny-he-means-anything-to-you stage now?”
“Shut up.”
Missy threw a piece of crust at her. “Are you at the anger stage yet? We really need to do something about this kitchen and I’m not doing it alone. How do you feel about knocking out cabinets?”
“I’m not in the mood.”
“You’d get to smash shit.”
“Then we’d have to put up the new ones.”
Missy sighed. “Right.”
“We should just hire someone.”
“You can afford that but I can’t. Fifty-fifty, remember? I’m sorry. I’m hoping this new series I’m working on will hit a bestseller list. That stove is one of the things we most need to upgrade. I’m tired of having to light the burners.”
“You’ll get there.”
“I’m a poor artist but at least I can pay my bills. Why did I quit my day job again?”
“Because we both have faith that you are an excellent writer. Give it more time.”
Missy wiped her mouth with her napkin. “You should call Homeland and talk to this Darkness. You look miserable and you only left there yesterday. Just admit you have it bad for him.”
“It was just great sex.”
“Right.” Missy rolled her eyes. “Because you haven’t ever been exposed to hot guys before while on the job and you risked your ass for all of them.” She stood. “Lie to yourself but don’t forget who you’re talking to. I see through your bullshit.”
“I only knew him for a short time.”
Missy rinsed her plate, turned and leaned on the counter. “Sometimes you just know when it’s right. I believe that. Hell, I make a living writing books about it. I write from my heart and I’m hopeful that I’ll meet some guy who makes me feel. Love is messy and terrifying, Kat. It’s not going to be the guy who is your type or someone you can walk all over. You’d be miserable within a year. I’ve seen it go down before. This is the first time you’ve met a guy you can’t control, who doesn’t bow down to your strong will, and he made you take risks you never thought you would. Use that intelligence of yours and figure it out fast because let’s face it, you’ve got it bad. This is the guy. Go after him.”“No. He doesn’t want me. He made that clear.”
“You don’t want him either, according to you. You’re both full of shit. This is the first time I’ve ever seen you lose it, Kat. It’s for a reason. You really feel something for him and it scares the hell out of you. You’re into giving reality bitch-slaps. This is me calling you to the mat. POW!” Missy grinned. “Bitch-slap delivered.”
“You spend way too much time with fictional characters.”
“Did you think I’d really slap you? Give me a break. You’d beat my ass.”
“I’d never hit you.”
“That’s because you know I can’t fight and it wouldn’t be any fun whaling on someone who just lay there and screamed. Stop being such a wimp and call Darkness. You’d be all over me if I had it bad for a guy but was too chickenshit to give it a shot.”
“He doesn’t want a relationship.”
“What’s your motto? Oh yeah. Shit happens. Deal with it. Neither of you were looking for someone but he nailed you. You said he avoided all women and hadn’t had sex in a long time. He broke his monkhood streak for you.”
“Monkhood?”
Missy nodded. “Is he religious?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Exactly. He couldn’t resist you. If he’s as cold and controlling as you say, that’s big. You are a robot when it comes to your job and you broke rules. Big. Huge.” Missy pushed away from the counter. “Stop being a dumbass and go after him. You two sound well matched.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You do that. I’m going to go write. Give a yell if you decide to rip stuff apart. I have my own frustrations to work out.”
“Are you okay?” Kat turned in her chair, studying her friend.
Missy paused by the door. “Don’t blow what could be a good thing. I’d kill to meet a guy who flipped my switches and made me feel what I think you do. I get to watch other people live through books and out my window. One of us deserves happiness. Go full-out, balls-to-the-wall for this guy. Life is too short and regret is the worst thing to live with.”
“You’re thinking about Chris.”
Missy teared up. “Yeah. I always do. I had my chance but lost it. He wouldn’t have moved to New York if I hadn’t been so set on finishing college before I married. What did I do with my degree? Nada. He and his wife just had their fourth baby.”
“How do you know?”
“I looked him up on the internet. You should see the nice family photos. They look really happy. That could have been me with my arm around him. I have a dog and a kitten instead.”
“You have me too.”
Missy grinned. “I know, but regardless of what your dickhead boss thinks, I’m not doing you.” Her humor fled. “My sex life only involves a vibrator. I know battery-operated-boyfriends don’t leave their clothes on the floor or fart in their sleep but I’d take all the flaws that come with a real person any day of the week over being so lonely. You can’t solve that for me.”
“I understand.”
“I know you do. So go after this guy, Kat. Get messy and be scared of having your heart broken. At least try. I would.”
“I can’t exactly storm the gates of Homeland and I won’t be allowed back in. He made that clear.”
“Call and bug him. Don’t let him sweep you under the rug. Give him hell.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You do that.” Missy left, going down the hallway into her office.
Kat closed her eyes and sighed. “Damn.” She missed Darkness but her pride would take a hit if she tried to call him.
Chapter Fourteen
Justice peered at Darkness over his desk as he hung up the phone. He lifted the paper he’d written on and passed it over. “That is a list of every name Jessie’s father could get. He called in lots of favors. He’ll text the address if you can identify her by name. He wasn’t able to get ages or descriptions but he could pull one or two files without raising red flags. That’s everyone Mason could issue orders to.”
Darkness accepted the list and read each name. One made him pause. The other names didn’t come close. He reread the ninth name again. “This has to be her. Katrina Perkins.”
“Are you sure?”
Darkness looked up. “She said everyone really called her Kat. With a K. Katrina could be shortened to Kat. She used the name Kathryn Decker to enter Homeland. Don’t they attempt to keep the first names close to their real ones when they go undercover? That’s what Tim told me. They use similar names because it draws their attention easier when it’s spoken.”
“Agreed.” Justice picked up his cell phone and tapped the screen. “It should take a few minutes.”
“I want to send four teams out to retrieve her.”
Justice set down the phone. “Why do you want this female brought in? You’re the one who argued we should release her in the first place.”
“All the information we received on Robert Mason alarms me. He’s been transferred seven times in four years. He kept requesting this post. I believe it was for a reason. You read the file. He hasn’t asked to be reassigned elsewhere. It’s possible he’s been working with Boris. They would have been able to have face-to-face contact to avoid leaving any traces of their meetings.”