And he’d hated me for that.
Hated me enough to want to kill me. He might not have meant to, but that would have been the end result if Azriel hadn’t turned up.
Of course, I had no doubt he would have regretted the momentary lapse of sanity, given that both he and everyone else needed me alive to find the damn keys. But regret after the fact wouldn’t have done me a whole lot of good.
“You and I are finished, Lucian.” I stepped back and sheathed Amaya. Her grumbles filled the back of my thoughts, and though the noise had dropped from banshee territory, it was still sharp enough to bring on yet another headache. “I can’t be with someone I can’t trust.”
“Risa, don’t be stupid. I apologized and I meant—”
“It’s not what you meant,” I interrupted testily. “It’s what you did that matters. Damn it, Lucian, I saw the hate.”
“What you saw was not aimed at you.” Perhaps he saw my disbelief, because he added, a little more sarcastically, “There is only one person I actually hate in this room, and he can lower his sword. I really do not intend you harm.”
“I could lower it, true,” Azriel said. “But Valdis rather likes the taste of your flesh.”
“We both know she will bite no further, as her master has no desire to flaunt reaper rules and thereby jeopardize becoming again what he once was.”
“I would not be so sure of that, Aedh.”
“So we’re all just going to stand here like this?” he asked, the sarcasm stronger this time. “That could get a little tedious, don’t you think?”
“What I think,” I said, taking another step away from him, though my retreat wasn’t just physical, “is that Azriel was right. You will lie, cheat, steal, and fuck to get what you want. Nothing and no one else matters—it’s all about you and your endgame. And while I might have been able to forgive the lying, I can’t forgive the attack. I don’t want that sort of violence in my life. Not now, not ever.”
“Risa—”
He reached for me again, but I slapped his hand away.
“No. I mean it, Lucian,” I said, anger and perhaps a touch of regret in my voice. Whatever else he was, he’d been a good lover, and I mourned the loss of that if nothing else. “You and I are finished.”
“As lovers, perhaps, but you will need another sword when it comes to finding the keys. Our last attempt proved that.”
“I would rather fight alone than fight with someone who plays this game for reasons he has not yet fully disclosed,” Azriel commented.
“I don’t believe I asked for your opinion, reaper,” Lucian snapped, then flexed his fingers and added, “I intend to remain part of this quest, Risa.”
“Well, I’m afraid that’s an option no longer open to you.”
My voice was resolute, but deep inside, doubt stirred. There was a saying about keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer. If Lucian was playing a deeper, darker game than mere revenge, it might be far better to keep him around and keep an eye on him.
That is a very dangerous game to play with one such as him, Azriel commented.
Perhaps, but I just get the feeling that there’s more going on here than what we think.
Have I not been saying that? It was wryly said, even if there was a hint of rebuke embedded within the words.
You’ve said a lot of things, reaper, most of them nasty in regard to Lucian.
He deserves nothing less.
“I will not be kept apart from this quest, Risa.” Lucian’s voice was resolute. Dark. Almost as dark as the gleam in his eyes. “Whatever it takes, whatever I have to do, I will be there when you search for the keys.”
“If you get in our way, if you attempt to harm or spell or do anything else to me or my friends, I’ll kill you myself,” I said flatly.
And there went any idea of keeping a close eye on him.
“Warning heeded,” he said. The madness and hate flared again, so strong I could taste it. And while he appeared to have it under control, it nevertheless scared the hell out of me. I’d been sleeping with that darkness. It could have overtaken him—and me—at any time. “And now, heed this. Vengeance is mine, and the keys play a major part in that. I will not be deterred.”
“Then we both know where we stand.” I grabbed my purse and slung it over my shoulder. “It was fun while it lasted, Lucian.”
With that, I turned and walked out.
And I didn’t stop walking until I was out of his building and well down the street.
That’s when the shaking began.
I leaned back against the nearby shopfront and sank down, wrapping my arms around my knees as I sucked in great gulps of air. I felt like crying like a baby again, and all I wanted to do was scream, why, why, WHY? to the heavens.